In 2009 Oren Peli’s Paranormal Activity became a monster indie success, propelling him to director stardom. Before the film had even left theaters he was abducted by IM Global to get behind the camera for the top secret Area 51, about a group of kids (Sandra Staggs, Roy Abramsohn, David Saucedo, Glenn Campbell, and Jelena Nik) who break into the infamous Nevada Military Base.

After years of “tinkering” (test screenings, reshoots, new edits, etc.), Paramount Insurge has finally uploaded the footage that has become as much a lore in the horror community as the actual Area 51. The footage, while ambitious beyond belief, crashes pretty hard into the desert sand.

I was beyond excited after seeing the trailer as it looked like something right up my alley (I’m not only a found-footage sympathizer, but I love conspiracy theories and aliens). The concept was rock solid, and the set up was believable enough that it looked like it could finally be the first scary alien-horror film since Fire In the Sky.

Unfortunately, Area 51 is nothing more than a clunky mess of shaky-cam footage that looks as if the film’s editor just gave up.

What was so exciting in the trailer, is an elongated snooze-fest of exposition in the film. Peli spends a lot of time explaining how these kids are going to break into Area 51. It sells the premise, surprisingly well, but feels like chunks of wasted exposition. It’s boring.

But I kept telling myself that it’s all to sell the believability of the final act inside the elusive Area 51. But herein lies the problem, what happens inside the base is impossible to relate to (trying to keep this spoiler free), thus rendering the entire third act impotent.

Again, Peli does a remarkable job of selling the locations, especially the inside of the base, but all of the “alien stuff” crashes so hard it makes me wonder if it’s even possible to truly make an alien movie that’s both scary and realistic.

(Obvious spoiler) Area 51 delivers on its premise and promise of aliens, but ultimately the CGI and effects work undo it all. And to make matters worse, the ending is frustratingly obvious, and leaves nothing to the imagination.

I think it’s safe to assume why Paramount never released Area 51, and frankly maybe they should have kept the tapes a secret for the rest of eternity. The idea of Area 51 seems to be what’s truly frightening about it, not what’s actually going on inside.