Editorials
Set Visit Part 3: ‘Predators’ Jungle Invaded By Robert Rodriguez!
In this third and final part of our visit to the set of Nimrod Antal’s Predators, we’re finally given the opportunity to sit down with the man himself – Señor Robert Rodriguez, builder of the Troublemaker empire, who on his own has directed some of the most insanely fun genre films of the last twenty years. During our conversation he played down similarities to the first movie, talked about the long gestation of the project (his original script for the sequel dates back to 1994), came clean on the extent of his involvement during production, and assured us the film would be “R”-rated. Oh yeah, we also spoke with Alice Braga. She’s way pretty.
Amazingly, it’s been more than eleven years since Scream 3 was released (where does the time go??), meaning there’s over a decade’s worth of new horror material that has yet to be plumbed by the self-aware franchise, now being revived with Scream 4 (coming out on April 15th). So how have they updated the once-fresh series to make it feel relevant for today’s audiences? There’s no doubt that much has changed.
Since the turn of the millennium (remember Y2K?) we’ve seen the ascension of torture porn and J-Horror, been assaulted by an insane amount of mostly crappy remakes, seen a huge resurgence in the “found footage” sub-genre (remember The Blair Witch Project?), and witnessed the coining of the term “Web 2.0” (remember dial-up?). Hell, in the year 2000 only about half the citizens in this country even owned a cell phone! (remember antennas?)
Of course, as much as the world has changed since the bygone era of Jennifer Love Hewitt worship and shitty nu-metal bands, the basic Scream template remains the same: skewer the rules and conventions of the horror genre in a clever and entertaining way. What matters this time around is just how the creative minds behind the latest entry will incorporate the new horror rules and conventions that have cropped up over the last decade or so, not to mention which ones they decide to take on (hint: given what the Scream films are, we probably won’t be seeing any long-haired “Samara”-style wraiths making an appearance).
Now, in anticipation of the release of the hugely-anticipated slasher sequel (mark your calendars!), B-D reporter Chris Eggertsen takes a fun look at ten of the key clichés and conventions from the last decade in horror that may or may not be tackled in the upcoming third installment of the legendary slasher franchise. But study them carefully – for if your own life goes all Meta and you find yourself caught in the midst of an honest-to-god slasher-movie killing spree, paying close attention just might save your skin.
“The person holding the video camera is far more likely to survive up to at least the final reel.”
Movie Examples: The Last Exorcism; Cloverfield; REC/Quarantine; Diary of the Dead
This rule is predicated on basic narrative necessity more than anything; indeed, there wouldn’t be much of a movie if the person filming the bloodbath were to bite the dust in the first or second act. As such, it would probably behoove a potential horror movie victim to volunteer for camera duty.
“Those with a serious criminal or amoral past – and/or those who have engaged in severely self-destructive behavior – are far more likely to kick the bucket than those with a relatively clean slate.”
Movie Examples: Saw I-VII
This rule really only has a basis in the Saw movies, but when you consider that the “torture porn” franchise is the most profitable and influential of the last decade, its potential for influencing a budding psychopath is pretty great. And look, it ain’t the `80s anymore. Just smoking a doobie or engaging in a little coital fun isn’t enough to guarantee certain death in a 21st century horror film. As Jigsaw showed us in all seven installments of the uber-gory series, you’re especially likely to be targeted if you’ve either engaged in some particularly naughty past behavior – think fleeing the scene of a crime, engaging in predatory lending practices, or, you know, raping and killing people – or demonstrated a lack of appreciation for life by, say, abusing drugs or attempting suicide. So while it may not keep them from ultimately waking up strapped to some sort of bizarre medieval torture device, potential victims can at least better calculate their odds of survival by tallying up their past transgressions. Also, if you didn’t take time out to appreciate your crummy life before, you’d damn well better start now.
(SPOILER ALERTS AHEAD!) “The Final Girl isn’t necessarily the final girl.”
Movie Examples: Wolf Creek; High Tension; Death Proof; Cabin Fever; Friday the 13th (remake)
While in the past we could almost always rely on the old “Final Girl” trope – i.e. the kindest and most virginal young woman of the bunch being the most likely to survive – unfortunately for the mousier contingent among us that rule isn’t quite as relevant as it used to be. For as we’ve been shown in quite a few horror flicks over the last decade -remember poor “head on a stick” Liz in Wolf Creek? – the ultimate survival of the supposed Final Girl is no longer a given.
“The kills are more brutal, drawn-out and extreme.”
Movie Examples: Saw I-VII; Hostel I & II; any film that could be classified as “torture porn”
It’s sad to say, but simple stabbings are basically old hat at this point, and not even unconventional weaponry really makes the cut anymore – indeed, by the late `80s Jason had already sorta driven that whole “let’s see what kinda damage we can do with [insert name of unlikely weapon here]!” thing into the ground (not that we don’t welcome it, necessarily; it just isn’t novel anymore). No, in the 21st century the quick kill has been replaced in many instances by drawn-out scenes of excruciating torture, a la movies like Saw, Hostel, and the wave of increasingly-brutal “French extremity” films. Note to potential victims: if there’s absolutely no hope of escape and you suspect you may be next in line for a long and painful evening at the local torture chamber, you might wanna consider engaging in a little hari-kari action before the killer has a chance to drag you off.
“If a strangely charming individual with either a German or Eastern European accent: a) proposes drinks at his/her place; b) suggests a night of kinky sex (this particularly applies if you write for the internet and/or have a basic hygiene problem); c) offers you shelter from a rain, sleet, or snowstorm, or d) otherwise seems interested in spending a little alone time with you in a remote location, you’d do best to high-tail your ass in the other direction.”
Movie Examples: Hostel I & II, The Human Centipede (First Sequence)
While the majority of `70s and `80s slasher and splatter flicks that inspired the first few Scream movies featured distinctly American-grown killers, with the introduction of the first Hostel movie we were introduced to the concept of creepy foreign people. See, not only are German and Eastern European accents scary, but the region is also apparently home to some truly perverted weirdos. In other words, don’t trust any dude with a name like Wolfgang or Dragos – it’s a recipe for certain death. Oh, and that hot chick Tatyana from the Czech Republic? Chances are she’s aiming to sell your ass to some fucked-up underground torture society in Belarus. Remember, the happy fun-time days of Shannon Elizabeth in American Pie are long over.
“Tortured back stories and vaguely sympathetic character motivations are so last century.”
Movie Examples: Hostel I & II; The Strangers; Wolf Creek; Them; Orphan; The Human Centipede (First Sequence); House of 1,000 Corpses; The Devil’s Rejects; Funny Games (remake); The Collector
Sure, the slasher revolution started with Michael Myers in Halloween – a man of “pure evil” who had “the blackest eyes” (according to Sir Donald Pleasance) – but most of the copycats that followed usually featured killers with at least some apparent reason for picking up that machete and hacking up a bunch of horny co-eds. Even the first three Scream films – despite Randy’s contention that in “the millennium, motives are incidental” – tied at least one of their killers’ motivations to some traumatic past event. Not so anymore, as over the last few years the pendulum seems to be swinging back in the “crazy-for-crazy’s-sake” Bates/Myers direction, holding true to Stu’s observation in the first Scream that “it’s a lot scarier when there’s no motive”. Need I bring up Rob Zombie’s lackluster “nurture over nature”-heavy Halloween reboot as evidence? Ah well, too late.
(SPOILER ALERTS AHEAD!) “It’s never safe to bet on `happy’ endings anymore.”
Movie Examples: Saw I-VII; Wolf Creek; The Grudge; The Ring; The Last Exorcism; Pulse; Final Destination I-IV; Paranormal Activity; The Strangers; Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning; House of 1,000 Corpses; The Skeleton Key; Them, The Collector; Funny Games (remake)
It’s no surprise that in our increasingly cynical age, the bad guy in horror films has racked up a more impressive win/loss ratio than perhaps at any other time in the history of the genre. Just look at some of the most popular and influential movies from the last decade: J-horror fare like The Grudge, The Ring and Pulse are good examples of this rule, not to mention virtually every found footage/camcorder flick ever (Paranormal Activity and The Last Exorcism being two that immediately spring to mind). Hell, just look at the final outcome of the entire Saw series – it doesn’t get much grimmer than that. In short, betting against the killer(s) isn’t near as fail-safe a wager as it used to be.
“Social subtext is big again – the key to unlocking the nature or identity of the killer(s) could lie in the ills of society itself.”
Movie Examples: Saw I-VII; Hostel I & II; Land/Diary/Survival of the Dead; Cabin Fever; Shaun of the Dead; The Hills Have Eyes (remake)
While the `80s spate of mostly mindless slasher films provided the majority of self-reflexive ammunition for the first three Scream entries, the “aughts” returned to the subtext-laden thematics of horror flicks from the late ’60s and early `70s. As such, it might give potential victims a good amount of insight (and perhaps even increase their chances of survival) if they go into “ivory tower mode” by searching out possible explanations for the mayhem in the context of society’s larger problems. Perhaps this time around Ghostface is some crazed, geriatric Tea Party adherent, aiming to cut down on the number of young Obama supporters prior to the 2012 elections? I wouldn’t necessarily rule it out.
“To increase your chances of survival, take some time to study the remakes.”
Movie Examples: Halloween; Friday the 13th; A Nightmare on Elm Street; Texas Chainsaw Massacre; Prom Night; When a Stranger Calls; My Bloody Valentine 3D; The Hitcher; The Amityville Horror; The Hills Have Eyes; Dawn of the Dead; House of Wax; I Spit on Your Grave; The Omen; Last House on the Left; The Fog; The Crazies; The Stepfather; Black Christmas; Sorority Row; probably more I’m not thinking of
The most ubiquitous horror trend over the last decade is undoubtedly the remake phenomenon, meaning potential victims can’t merely look to the originals any longer to uncover the keys to their survival. While certainly a few of the films are forehead-slappingly derivative of their original source material, others have changed the conventions up a bit and, painful as it may be, it would behoove those who find themselves in the midst of a bloody killing spree to add a shitload of these bad boys to the top of their Netflix queue. Just pray you can get through them all before the killer catches you passed out from boredom on the living room couch.
“When in doubt, do the opposite of everything you learned in the first three Scream movies.”
Movie Examples: Scream I-III
As one character in the Scream 4 trailer smartly points out, “the unexpected is the new cliché”. In other words, potential victims will significantly increase their chances of survival if they do the opposite of whatever rules of slasher-dom they were urged to follow in the first three entries. Feeling a little horny? Go have sex with someone, quickly! Acting the part of the shameless, dirty slut just might save your neck. “Magical cigarette” being passed around at the party after prom? If you value your life, you’d do well to take a puff. Also, work the phrase “I’ll be right back” into every conversation you can, even when it isn’t 100% warranted. It may end up annoying the shit out of your friends and loved ones, but if you enjoy breathing you’d do best to ignore their bitching. Also, dudes – get off your sorry asses and try out for the football team. And while you’re at it, start acting on all those buried Alpha male instincts of yours and push a science geek or two up against a locker (further “survival points” will be awarded for wedgies and toilet dunking). As for all the ladies out there – for the love of god, get a freakin’ boob job and join the cheerleading squad. In this day and age, those puritanical attitudes you’ve been harboring could equal death.
`Scream 4′ Trailer:
Tales from the Crypt has been influential in keeping EC Comics alive in the public conscience, even after going off the air thirty years ago. That classic horror show pulled from multiple stables within the iconic comic publisher, but it also didn’t adapt everything. Even the ones the producers did pick weren’t always faithfully retold on screen.
So while it might seem like Tales from the Crypt covered plenty of EC Comics’ works, a lot still remains unadapted.
These ten great stories would have made fine additions to the series.
“Bats in My Belfry!” (Tales from the Crypt)
When an actor named Harry began to lose his hearing, a friend put him in contact with a special “doctor”. After receiving the gift of super-hearing—a taxidermist implanted a bat’s auditory system inside of Harry—the protagonist learned about his wife’s affair. On top of that, she and her paramour were planning to kill Harry. Of course, they didn’t realize Harry had transformed into a humanoid vampire bat.
Something Tales from the Crypt didn’t do enough of, on account of whatever reason (budget and time restraints seem most likely), was stories about monsters. But Crypt once had the best contacts in the business, so you can bet that were-bat would have been in good hands.
“The Beast of the Full Moon!” (The Vault of Horror)
Tom and his girlfriend, June, were fearful of the werewolf who’d been on a recent murder spree in their area. Tom already suspected his brother Andrew, who may have been infected after a trip to Corocoa. And when Tom had an encounter with the werewolf, he stabbed the creature’s right paw before it could flee. Later, Tom’s suspicions were all but confirmed when he saw Andrew’s bandaged right hand.
So, Tom laid a trap for the monster—a pit—, and he waited nearby with a gun full of silver bullets. One thing led to another, and Tom ended up in the pit with the werewolf. Luckily, someone above shot and killed the beast. That’s when Tom saw Andrew above ground and June in the pit, the latter dead from her gunshot wound.
While Tales from the Crypt did have lycan episodes, like “Werewolf Concerto” and “The Secret”, there was still room for one more. With the comic having such a small cast, though, it may have been too easy to figure out the culprit. But surely someone on staff could have punched up the original story for television.
“Pipe Down!” (The Haunt of Fear)
Lila hated her older husband, Andrew. After beginning an affair with a handyman named Howard, Lila plotted Andrew’s death. She and Howard got away with Andrew’s murder, but now they couldn’t marry for a year; otherwise, it would look suspicious. In the meantime, Lila purchased a pet monkey that was born on the same day that Andrew died.
When Howard found what looked like evidence of Lila having another lover—he spotted a lit cigar and two half-empty glasses—Howard flew into a rage and murdered his girlfriend. That’s when the cops arrived, saying a phone operator reported the disturbance. However, all she heard on the other end of the phone was an animal’s shriek. Once Howard was arrested, Lila’s monkey went back into the house, picked up a book, and smoked a pipe. Just like Andrew used to do.
This story would have fit in with the wackier episodes of Tales from the Crypt. There are quite a few of those—especially later on as the series moved away from the more macabre material. “Pipe Down!” also spices up the typical adultery-and-murder plots that were so common in EC’s output.
“Swamped” (The Haunt of Fear)
Deep in the Okefenokee Swamp, a cannibalistic hermit fed on those who traveled near his shack built over the water. He fed on visiting hunters and then disposed of their remains beneath his home. Anyone who revolted or came after him only ended up in the quicksand. Finally, though, the hermit suffered the same fate as his victims; he, too, slipped into the muddy graveyard below his crumbling shack. Yet now waiting for him were the hungry souls desperate to get back at their killer.
It’s unclear who the writer was behind “Swamped”, but their work here is intense. The insight and colorful descriptions are unexpected for that mere tale of the cannibal who got his just desserts. That kind of writing, along with Reed Crandall‘s artwork, makes this one of the most engaging stories from EC’s horror run.
“The October Game” (Shock SuspenStories)
Mitch, a deeply resentful and growingly mad father and husband, hosted his young daughter’s Halloween party. Kids and other parents soon all piled into the basement. The night of fun then ended with one last parlor game: Mitch passed around the body parts of a witch (an arm, her heart, and so on). One of the young guests assumed these were really things like chicken innards.
Mitch’s wife, Louise, looked for her daughter among the crowd, wondering if Marion was scared. That’s when Louise realized the girl wasn’t there—or alive. She begged everyone not to turn on the lights in the basement, out of fear of them seeing what Mitch had done to her poor daughter. Unfortunately for Louise, her plea was in vain.
Tales from the Crypt usually refrained from child-endangered stories, and it much rather focused on adult characters. But the show also lacked Halloween entries, apart from Season Six’s “Only Skin Deep“. Perhaps the need for Halloween, as a validation of any eerie goings-on, was unnecessary.
This Ray Bradbury adaptation (originally a short found in Weird Tales) is well deserving of a read. It’s a glowing example of suspense storytelling. The comic also never shows a lick of violence, yet it feels incredibly violent.
“Strictly from Hunger” (The Vault of Horror)
A posse of men stood before a cave, awaiting something horrible inside. One of the men, Doc, explained the uncanny and dangerous creature; he’d seen it before. Doc told everyone about how his patient, Pete, was diagnosed with a malignant, cancerous lump on his arm. There was nothing Doc could do to help him. Pete then sought assistance from an old witch in the mountain. Using magic, she made sure Pete would never die, although his cancer remained intact and unhealed.
Over time, the cancer cells in Pete’s body consumed all his healthy cells. To keep living, Pete turned into a giant blob that ate others’ healthy cells. Back in the present story, the posse fought the emerging creature until it retreated into the cave. The characters all finally blocked the entrance to prevent Pete from ever escaping again.
Obviously, Tales from the Crypt didn’t have the budget to support a story like this one, but imagine if it did. A body horror episode of this degree could have been fantastic, not to mention outright disgusting.
“Marriage Vow” (The Haunt of Fear)
Martin and Eva’s marriage was no longer a happy one. Eva, who’d become controlling and slovenly a few years after their wedding, refused to let Martin out of her sight. “Till death do us part,” she would always say. Eventually, Martin killed Eva; he loosened the wrought iron bars on the balcony where Eva liked to spend time, and she fell to her death. However, Eva didn’t stay dead, as she came back as a zombie intent on honoring the “till death” part of their vows.
EC did more than its fair share of stories like “Marriage Vow”, as did Tales from the Crypt. Spousal murder was pretty common. This comic, though, delivers a strong implication as the zombified wife tells her husband to “come to bed”. That line makes a reader’s imagination run wild.
“Dog Food” (Crime SuspenStories)
A prisoner named Tom swore revenge on the warden, Lester, after a fellow prisoner was tortured and killed under his command. However, to get past Lester’s voracious guard dogs, so that he could enter his house and kill him, Tom started saving meat from his meals. The other prisoners also contributed to his collection.
Tom set off on his journey to Lester’s dog-guarded house, but he ran out of meat before reaching his destination. So, Tom did the next best thing and fed parts of his own body to the dogs.
Once again, Reed Crandall elevated a gruesome, vengeful story with his realistic style. It’s so lurid. At any rate, it was just too graphic for Tales from the Crypt to adapt—and that’s really saying something here.
“Master Race” (Impact)
Carl Reissman was on a subway, remembering his “bloody war years” in Germany. Even after a decade had passed, he remained paranoid. And as he spotted a certain other passenger coming his way, a man in all black, Carl became afraid and started running. His mind flashed back to the events of the Holocaust during this “chase”.
Finally, before Carl fell on the tracks and in the path of an oncoming train, he revealed he wasn’t a prisoner in a concentration camp; he commanded one. The stranger in black said to those onlookers, asking what happened; he didn’t even know the victim. This Carl had simply run from him on the platform.
While Tales from the Crypt did occasionally go beyond what was available in their more horror-centric source material—the war-themed Two-Fisted Tales, for instance—it didn’t ever go near Impact. This short-lived series is considered toned down for EC. Even still, that didn’t make “Master Race” any less shocking. It’s a potent entry that wouldn’t have fit in with the Tales from the Crypt show we now know, but nonetheless, it’s a thought-provoking piece of storytelling.
“Forty Whacks!” (Crime SuspenStories)
A twenty-two-year-old woman named Fanny was frustrated by her parents; they flipped out when she put on makeup. However, when the daughter discovered a mysterious hatchet in her attic, she became possessed by a strange power and did the unthinkable. One after the other, Fanny used that hatchet to kill her parents.
The detective assigned to Fanny’s case was interrupted by his wife and son. The former had an out-there theory: the hatchet belonged to the infamous Lizzie Borden, and it was now capable of causing children to kill their own parents. The detective didn’t buy his wife’s idea, but that was until his entranced son picked up the murder weapon and took a swing at his pop.
Here, EC dipped into historical crime for a ghoulish story that sounds like something out of Friday the 13th: The Series. Maybe it’s a bit in bad taste, but that has never stopped Tales from the Crypt—which is why we love it.
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