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The 15 Worst Horror Destinations!!

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By Zena S. Dixon.

If you guys didn’t know, it’s about time for a vacation! Not sure where to go? Not sure if you prefer the woods or the beach? Not sure if you want to stay in the country or leave the country? No problem! I’m here to help you. The list below reveals the 15 Worst Horror Destinations. With this, you are guaranteed to think twice about your vacation plans, and it may even encourage you to stay home where things are normal and a little less life-threatening.

15. NILBOG – TROLL 2 (1990)
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Why vacation in a small town secretly inhabited by Goblins that want to eat you?

14. NEW ORLEANS SWAMP – HATCHET (2006)
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I’m not saying you can’t go to New Orleans…just stay away from the swamps. Particularly, stay away from the haunted swamp tours.

13. CABIN IN THE WOODS…duh – CABIN IN THE WOODS (2012)
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I’m sure you don’t want to discover the truth behind the cabin in the woods…so just avoid all cabins, period.

12. SLOVAKIA – HOSTEL (2005)
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It’s ok to meet new people along the way. These encounters may lead to new things and perhaps new friendships. However, if you don’t want to wake up in a dungeon room with a man who drills holes into your chest or legs… bypass these new friendships. I’m not a fan of rap, but Drake said it himself, “No new friends.”

11. WOODSBORO, CALIFORNIA – SCREAM (1996)
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Just because you know the rules of horror doesn’t mean you should go here. Plus, if you really know the rules, then you would know that the rules are always getting switched up!

10. CAMP ARAWAK – SLEEPAWAY CAMP (1983)
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This one particularly goes to those parents who want to get rid of the children for the summer, even if it means sending them to camp where a psycho with sinister intentions is on the loose. We all know how this one ends. Young women end up having male genitalia or worse, raped by a hot curling iron. Either way, stay away, and certainly don’t send your children there.

9. WEST VIRGINIA – WRONG TURN (2003)
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If you get cheated on by your significant other and your friends know, just make sure they don’t suggest you all go to the woods in West Virginia. Why not just take your friend to a bar or club to drink or dance their troubles away?

8. CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE – FRIDAY THE 13TH (1980)
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Unless you want to be stalked and murdered, I say skip it.

7. RACCOON CITY – RESIDENT EVIL (2002)
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Don’t even think about visiting a city with a company named ‘Umbrella’ in it or around it… unless you simply like battling flesh-eating creatures, creatures that crawl on the ceilings, or worst, an out of control supercomputer with a little British girl’s voice.

6. COASTAL TOWN OF ANTONIO BAY – THE FOG (1980)
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Yeah, finishing towns that were built a 100 years ago seems pretty awesome. But what happens when a killer fog emerges, containing dead zombie spirits that seek revenge for their deaths?

5. TEXAS – TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974)
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Yes, THE whole state! You never know when someone with a chain-saw will jump out, gut you like a pig, then eat you like one. Play it safe and avoid the whole state!

4. AN OLD REMOTE CABIN – EVIL DEAD (2013)
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Again with a cabin in the woods! If you want to help your sister or friend recover from their heroin addiction or worse, musical addiction, don’t do it in a remote cabin in the woods. Have we not learned that there are evil forces out there?

3. BATES MOTEL – PSYCHO (1960)
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You’d be better sleeping in your car at the side of the road than sleeping in a motel where the least of your worries would be the cockroaches.

2. OVERLOOK HOTEL – THE SHINING (1980)
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An isolated hotel where evil spirits influence people to do violent things is definitely one to avoid!

1. ISLAND OF MATOOL – ZOMBI 2 (1979)
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A tropical island always seems nice, huh? Wrong! Especially when there is an epidemic of the undead.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

LONDON – AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON (1981)
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If something bad happens to you out there, I’m sure none of the locals will believe you. Especially if it involves hairy, bloody werewolves.

BURKITTSVILLE, MARYLAND – THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (1999)
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Avoid locations that have legends. Simple.

HADDONFIELD, ILLINOIS – HALLOWEEN (1978)
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Well…maybe you’ll be ok because we aren’t near Halloween or in the month of October…maybe.

BRAZIL – TURISTAS (2006)
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Brazil is known for its beauty, especially the beautiful women. If you must go, don’t take drinks from an attractive individual.

AUSTRALIA – WOLF CREEK (2005)
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It’s actually a dream of mine to go to Australia ,but after seeing this film, I knew my dream to not be brutally murdered outweighed visiting Australia.

You’re probably wondering, what place is left to vacation? Nowhere! So, you might as well stay home and watch horror movies all summer. You’re welcome!

What would be on your 15 Worst Horror Destinations?

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Editorials

André Øvredal’s ‘Troll Hunter’ Remains One of the Best Found Footage Movies

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André Øvredal's Troll Hunter

In this day and age, the wordtrollis often used to describe various online nuisances. Yet as abundant and irksome as the modern troll can be, they aren’t usually as fearsome as their mythological counterparts. I’m not talking about the small and gentler versions that have become more common to see in media. No, there are much bigger and scarier trolls out there—and André Øvredal’s movie Troll Hunter is one of the best places to find them.

It doesn’t take long for Troll Hunter (or Trolljegeren) to dump the Blair Witch Project-esque setup and aim for something a lot fresher. The trajectory of the story is augmented by Otto Jespersen’s character Hans, the titular Troll Hunter. The second he comes barreling out of the deep, dark woods and shoutstrollat the camera, this movie takes a turn into what feels like uncharted territory. Not only subject-wise, but also conceptually.

For fantastical and made-up subject matter in cinema, found footage is a fast way to add a guise of believability. After all, what we accept to be the most crucial aspect of documentaries—the truth—rubs off on pseudo-documentaries, despite our understanding of the pretense involved. That is what Øvredal delivered with Troll Hunter: a movie so convincing that some viewers wondered if trolls really do exist. So, had this been straightforwardly made, it likely wouldn’t have been as effective. Conventional narratives would be more inclined to treat something like trolls as flat out unreal, and never try to convince the audience to think otherwise.

troll hunter

Hans petrifies the three-headed Tusseladd troll.

The viewers, like the characters trailing Hans, are quickly thrown into the deeper end of that extraordinary story. They have to process all this new information while staying on the go. So, although there is no significant amount of meandering, narratively or physically, there is still a good amount of atmosphere, not to mention tension building. It’s never anything frightful, but then again, Troll Hunter isn’t your standard offering of horror; it’s more on the low end of the dark fantasy spectrum. We aren’t ever spirited away to a faraway world—we stay in rather familiar surroundings, as well as dip into those less so. The outcome is a movie where you’re constantly more in awe than in terror.

As fantasy fiction might do, Troll Hunter prefers not to deal with incredulity. There is no time to waste on doubt, as interviewer Thomas (Glenn Erland Tosterud), soundperson Johanna (Johanna Mørck), and cameraman Kalle (Tomas Alf Larsen) all follow Hans around, recording whatever this character is willing to reveal about his bizarre job. Of course, the Troll Hunter himself is not an open book; in that respect, the diegetic documentary fails to fully capture and unpack the more interesting of its two subjects. Yes, all those giant, monstrous trolls are indeed incredible, but understandably, your mind wanders to their pursuer. What kind of person signs up for this gig and then chooses to stick with it for so long?

Reviews have called out Troll Hunter for its lack of character development. In regard to Thomas and his fellow documentarians, that criticism is valid, but bear in mind, they aren’t the focus of the story, either. Meanwhile, Hans is a well-crafted character. At least better than first realized. Before he was introduced, Hans had already grown tired of the troll grind. Fed up with that low compensation for his services, resentful of the bureaucracy, and wanting to expose his employer on a large scale, Hans’ discontent is glaring.

Then there are those finer details about the Troll Hunter, such as that indifference to both the natural splendor of his everyday surroundings and the affections of an obviously smitten colleague, that also suggest some level of despondency. So it is fair to say this movie doesn’t feature any sizable growth for its characters; however, the namesake isn’t underwritten. No doubt, putting a real-life character like Otto Jespersen in that role is partly why Hans is so fascinating—maybe even relatable.

Troll Hunter

Otto Jespersen as Hans the Troll Hunter.

There is always a small risk whenever using the termmockumentaryto describe a found-footage movie, as the word could imply humor where there is none. In the case of Troll Hunter, the term’s usage is appropriate. Some folks have claimed the English-dubbed version has the more comedic tone, however, the Norwegian cut isn’t exactly humorless. Apart from the trolls’ absurd appearances, this is a movie where the characters nearly choke on the monsters’ farts, and Christians are like walking targets. Hans’ complete apathy towards everything is another cause of laughter. Overall, the comedy is intentionally dry and inconsistent. Unfunny, though? Absolutely not.

In a movie where endemic creatures are maltreated, as well as disavowed from living freely and peacefully, it’s hard not to notice the ecological message buried beneath the story. In addition to that is the unmistakable political satire. There is this whole business about intrusive and unsightly power lines—like trolls, they’re big blemishes on the land—that leads to what is perhaps the movie’s funniest moment. The scene in question is that one where certain electric lines, the ones secretly being used to keep the trolls at bay, go in a loop and don’t actually send power to any residents. Yet the monitors of said lines don’t find this at all weird. So it stands to reason that Øvredal was having a go at those who accept the government’s doings without question.

Looking past the fact that trolls aren’t actually real, this movie is an enlightening source of information. And not just for international audiences; Norwegians, too, get schooled about their homeland’s own mythology. It’s also evident from everything on screen that Øvredal and his crew were enthusiastic about the topic. The creature designs are the most indicative of that zeal; those imaginative yet myth-accurate manifestations are equally amusing and grotesque. One second you’re laughing at their phallic noses, the next you’re white-knuckling during a hairy sequence. Most surprisingly is how well the trolls’ visual effects hold up after fifteen years. It’s not all spotless, but on the whole, they remain impressive.

Vouching for a mockumentary about trolls isn’t easy, but those who do come around and give it a shot will more than likely be grateful for the recommendation. For Troll Hunter is a real find in that vast and varied genre we callfound footage.

troll hunter

A bridge troll reaches up for food and finds Hans decked out in armor.

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