Editorials
5 Reasons Why ‘Asylum’ is the Best Season of “American Horror Story” (and 5 Reasons Why ‘Coven’ is the Worst)
American Horror Story: Hotel premiered earlier this week, and it came with a rather hefty amount of skepticism (from me, anyway). Ryan Murphy is known for starting his seasons off strongly, only for them to go into a tailspin around the midway point of the season. In the case of American Horror Story, he started off the series strongly with Murder House, achieved some of his best work with Asylum, hit rock bottom with Coven and slowly began to dig himself out of the hole he made with Freakshow, which was an improvement over Coven, but only slightly. Not many people seem to share this viewpoint. In fact, Coven seems to be many people’s favorite season of American Horror Story, whereas Asylum (and occasionally Freakshow) is thought to be the worst season. I’m not one to use profanity in my posts, but there’s only one way for me to say this: I fucking hate Coven. Asylum is the best season and Coven is the worst, and I’m here to tell you why.
Asylum
Strong Villains
Bloody Face, Dr. Arden and the possessed Sister Mary Eunice are all more than just your standard two-dimensional villains. They all get enough screen time to make you care about them (even if that caring means wanting to see them die horrible deaths). They each had unique M.O.s and made strong, lasting impressions. A horror movie (or show) is only as good as its villain, and Asylum delivered.
Developed Characters
This is sort of an extension of my first point, but the characters in Asylum were not caricatures. These were real people with developed plot lines (well, except for Chloë Sevigny’s character, who got shafted). Lange may get all the accolades (and Sister Jude has a great arc in the season as well), but Paulson’s Lana Winters was the centerpiece of the season, and she nailed the performance in every scene. From her incarceration to her aversion therapy to her cathartic murder of her son, Lana is the best character to come out of any season of AHS.
Strong, Cohesive Narrative
Asylum had the most cohesive narrative throughout the entirety of its 13 episodes. For juggling so many things (possession, aliens, a serial killer, Nazi mutation experiments, asylum inmates, among other things), Asylum holds itself together remarkably well. The Anne Frank Halloween episodes are two of the strongest episodes the series has ever done, and they fit into the plot of the story. Nearly every plot line seemed relevant to the season as a whole, which cannot be said of any of the other seasons.
The Conclusion is (Mostly) Satisfying
American Horror Story has had a problem sticking the landing each and every season. This is no exception for Asylum, but it is undoubtedly the strongest finale of the bunch. Many weren’t fans of the flash-forward storytelling device used for the final episode, but Asylum was always about Lana and her journey toward peace. The show needed to jump forward to give her that peace. Kit ends up taking in Sister Jude and taking care of her until she dies, and he is abducted by aliens after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Lana kills Dr. Thredson (aka Bloody Face), Alma is admitted to Briarcliff. It all sounds sloppy, but the execution is nearly flawless.
It‘s Actually Horrific
A show called American Horror Story needs to have some actual horror, and Asyludelivers it in spades. From the human experimentations done by James Cromwell’s Dr. Arden, to the possession of Sister Mary Eunice (Lily Rabe), Asylum pulled no punches. The only real moment of levity was the musical number in episode 10, but even that had a dark background to it. Asylum was a bleak, unforgiving season, that turned off many viewers (and is the main reason why Murphy turned to camp in Coven). This always confused me, because it seems as if people who are watching American Horror Story don’t want to see any actual horror.
Coven
As for Coven, aka the season that pandered to the gays, there have been plenty of articles written about the mess of a season it was. These are just some of my biggest issues with it:
UPDATE: After reading some of the comments I feel the need to explain the above statement. When I say “pandering to the gays,” that is not an insult to gay people (of which I am one), but rather an insult to Coven and the team behind it. As I watched Coven, it seemed like Murphy’s thought process was “let’s fill the show with bitchy queens and sassy one-liners” in lieu of a coherent plot, as if that is going to make the show for us and forgive it its shortcomings. I felt insulted by the fact that the creative team behind the show thought that that is all I wanted to see. I felt pandered to, and to be pandered to is insulting. That was my reasoning behind that statement.
No Direction
If you go back and watch all 13 episodes of Coven, there doesn’t seem to be any consistency with the narrative. It really feels like the writers made it up as they went along. A simple outline of the season would have gone a long way in ensuring Coven’s cohesiveness. Alas, it’s clear no outline was made.
Inconsistent Characters
This is probably my biggest issue with Coven. None of the characters in the season felt like real characters because they did things their character would never do. Kathy Bates’ Madame LaLaurie began a redemptive arc with Gabourey Sidibe’s Queenie and just….stopped. Don’t forget about the fact that Jessica Lange’s Fiona was a murderer and no one seemed to care. Cordelia’s forgiveness of Fiona in the finale didn’t feel like something Cordelia would actually do. Queenie leaving the girls at Miss Robichaux’s for Marie Laveau’s voodoo team also didn’t make much sense. The show seemed to imply that it was just a race thing, but there was not enough screen time devoted to Queenie’s scenes with Laveau to make her betrayal convincing. Emma Roberts’ Madison Montgomery and Sarah Paulson’s Cordelia were probably the only consistently written character throughout the entire season.
It Was Overstuffed Yet Storylines Were Left Hanging
What were the repercussions of Queenie having sex with a minotour? What happened to Madame LaLaurie’s redemption arc (as mentioned above)? People always complain about Asylum having one too many plot lines (though I’ll admit that the aliens were superfluous), but Coven is the real culprit here. What was the point of bringing in Patti Lupone’s character and her son? Why was Stevie Nicks even there (other than fan service)? The witch hunters were brought in and dispatched rather quickly. Cordelia didn’t seem to care much about the fact that her husband was a witch hunter. And remember when Zoe and Kyle skipped town, only to just come back in the beginning of the next episode for no particular reason? It’s all pretty sloppy screenwriting.
No Stakes
Just when you thought Coven was pulling the rug out from under you by killing a main character off early in the season (Evan Peters, Emma Roberts), they were resurrected. Death was never a permanent fixture in Coven, which made it really hard to care or worry about any of the characters. If you can’t care about the characters (praising their bitchiness and wittiness doesn’t count as caring about them), then there is nothing but a hollow shell of a show. Also, the endgame being the reveal of the new Supreme was not compelling at all. If that was the whole purpose of the season, it’s boring
Unearned Endings
The biggest offender of this is arguably Lily Rabe’s Misty Day. Her fate in the finale “The Seven Wonders,” where she is trapped in Hell for all eternity to dissect frogs, doesn’t hold much weight for us as viewers. Sure, she was one of the most likable characters of the season, but we really didn’t know anything about her other than that she really liked Stevie Nicks. Having her own personal Hell be dissecting frogs felt too predictable and like an easy narrative out. The endgame for the season was always going to be to have Cordelia be the new Supreme, so they just needed a way to dispatch Misty. Her fate would have been better suited to Roberts’ Madison Montgomery, who gets an “easy” death via strangulation by Peters’ character. No character had more of an unearned ending than Fiona though. She was a despicable, selfish human being and a murderer, but the show gave her a redemptive arc (in the last episode). We shouldn’t want to see this woman gain her daughter’s sympathy. Coven was trying to subvert expectations, and I get that, but it came off as cheap and unearned.
What do you think? Am I being too hard on Coven (or too forgiving of Asylum)? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below or Tweet me.
No conversation about cartoons based on live-action movies is ever complete without mentioning The Real Ghostbusters.
This animated continuation is, warts and all, a notable example of turning a hit movie into a hit series. And although the new target demographic skewed a little younger, even kids-at-heart could partake in the further adventures of Peter Venkman, Ray Stantz, Winston Zeddemore and Egon Spengler.
For a good part of its run, the show required fans to wait at least a week for more Ghostbustin’. That’s torture for a kiddo. Luckily, though, the entire series, or at least most of it, is now available for streaming.
So, as you revisit The Real Ghostbusters on Tubi—for now it’s just the first five seasons there—use this guide to help prioritize some must-see episodes.
The Boogieman Cometh
“The Boogieman Cometh” (Season 1)
Season One’s “The Boogieman Cometh” is a classic episode featuring one of the show’s more iconic villains. It’s hard to forget the unique character design used for the Boogieman (whose creepy voice was provided by Ray and Slimer’s actor, Frank Welker). In this story, Egon is reunited with that bump-in-the-night entity who haunted his own childhood, all while trying to keep him away from his latest targets: the brother and sister claiming to have the Boogieman in their closet. Although the Ghostbusters do save the day here, the Boogieman eventually returns (“The Bogeyman Is Back“). That same episode also features the love-’em-or-hate-’em Junior Ghostbusters.
Mr. Sandman, Dream Me a Dream
“Mr. Sandman, Dream Me a Dream” (Season 1)
You could say the namesake of “Mr. Sandman, Dream Me a Dream” had good intentions for putting mankind to sleep for the next few centuries—he wanted to end war and keep everyone dreaming. Sounds nice until you remember that whole free will business. But when it seems like the Ghostbusters have lost to their latest foe, the last one standing, Winston, gains a sudden ally. Janine’s dream of becoming a Ghostbuster is manifested, and she helps put this rogue spirit to bed.
When Halloween Was Forever
“When Halloween Was Forever” (Season 1)
Before the show’s execs capitalized on Slimer’s popularity by making him the focus of later episodes, early stories like “When Halloween Was Forever” better utilized that gooey ghost. Here, the spirit of Halloween itself, Samhain, hopes to make the holiday a permanent thing by stopping time. And who does the embodiment of All Hallows’ Eve use in his nefarious plot? Slimer, of course. Thankfully, the lil’ green bud knows where he really belongs, and Samhain is banished (at least until Season 3’s “Halloween II 1/2“).
Night Game
“Night Game” (Season 2)
Because Season Two was rather long, in comparison to other seasons, it accumulated quite a few solid episodes. One of the most beloved, though, is that ultimate good-versus-evil story, “Night Game“. Winston gets to shine here as he participates in a battle that was 500 years in the making. Except this time, the fighting is done on the baseball field. The other-dimensional settings in The Real Ghostbusters are always great, but the one here is particularly memorable.
Drool, the Dog-Faced Goblin
“Drool, the Dog-Faced Goblin” (Season 2)
Not all ghosts and whatnot were bad in The Real Ghostbusters. As “Drool, the Dog-Faced Goblin” showed, some were actually benevolent. Sadly, it took a lot of convincing, and one very heroic act, for Peter and the others to see past this goblin’s grotesque appearance. The heroes find more than one shapeshifter at a sideshow carnival in the Poconos; a sinister Class-4er called the Metamorph does a swell job of menacing the Ghostbusters before they finally realize Drool’s not their culprit. The good guys indeed win here, but that victory is a bittersweet one.
The Collect Call of Cathulhu
“The Collect Call of Cathulhu” (Season 2)
While “The Collect Call of Cathulhu” does misspell “Cthulhu” in the title (probably to avoid legal issues), it is clearly the Old One in this Lovecraft-inspired episode. The story kicks off with the Necronomicon being stolen by the deity’s modern-day cult, who then raise their ancient god at Coney Island. From there, the Ghostbusters’ typical methods don’t work on the big guy, so they seek advice from an old issue of Weird Tales (or “Wierd Tales”, as it’s spelled on screen). That build-up to the finale comes with a decent amount of dread before the Ghostbusters, as well as a scholar named Alice, face off with one of the show’s most powerful entities.
Knock, Knock
“Knock, Knock” (Season 2)
A number of Real Ghostbusters episodes could be reworked into big-screen features, but perhaps “Knock, Knock” is the most hopeful. It helps that this story feels in step with the first two movies. Here, some ignorant construction workers accidentally uncover and open an ancient door in the subway. What’s behind said door is none other than those unspeakable evils that only the Ghostbusters can quell. A good deal of the imagery here is prime for adaptation.
The Grundel
“The Grundel” (Season 3)
One of the darker episodes, which was written by the prominent J. Michael Straczynski, is “The Grundel“. Here, a boy is being influenced by the titular entity, a type of ghost who ultimately turns his targets into new Grundels. The episode does have something of an after-school special quality to it, but that doesn’t take away from the eerier moments. For more Grundel lore, be sure to check out the episode “Grundelesque” from the sequel series, Extreme Ghostbusters.
Standing Room Only
“Standing Room Only” (Season 4)
It’s no secret that The Real Ghostbusters experienced multiple changes after the second season. Out of all of them, though, retooling the show so that Slimer would get more of the spotlight is maybe the most egregious. Thankfully, Season Four (the first to be called Slimer! and the Real Ghostbusters) didn’t completely obey that new directive; episodes like “Standing Room Only” felt more like the old days. The focus here was on the well-being of the city and its people, rather than on the series’ green mascot (or the Junior Ghostbusters). In the episode, Peter’s new ghost attractor isn’t to blame for the ensuing chaos; the ghost-eating Mee-Krah is what’s really imperiling everyone. And the Ghostbusters must dish out everything they have to avoid a doomsday situation.
The Halloween Door
“The Halloween Door” (Season 5)
While many fans will skip the later seasons in their rewatches, episodes like “The Halloween Door” are still worth checking out. This colorful helping of Halloween pandemonium premiered on primetime, so the animation is better than usual. And save for a random musical moment, it’s an enjoyable event. Here, a group of anti-Halloweeners tries to cancel the holiday, but they only end up making things worse by unleashing a baddie named Boogaloo.
The first five seasons of The Real Ghostbusters are available on Tubi, starting on July 15.
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