Editorials
What are Your New Years Horror Resolutions?
Now that the merry holidays are over, we have one last major event in 2015 to look forward to: New Years Eve! It’s a night to reflect on a year ending and to also celebrate the start of a new year, a new opportunity to make things change, to better ourselves, our careers, those around us, etc…
As with every year, there are promises that we make to ourselves that we end up not keeping, which kinda sucks and makes us feel a bit guilty. I know that I’m absolutely guilty of not following through on my resolutions, although I’ll be honest and say that I rarely make any these past few years. Better to not promise anything so as to not disappoint myself, right?
Well, you know what? Fuck that. I’m going to make some promises because I do want to change! I do want to change who I am in regards to many things. But for this occasion I’m going to talk about several resolutions I’m going to make when it comes to horror.
Check out mine and then let me know what some of yours are!
1. Be more critical
I know this might seem like a strange one but as I’m getting older I realize that I want better from the movies I watch. Sure I can turn off my brain for certain titles (I’m looking at you, TMNT 2) but if I’m intent on seeing a film that wants to be effective, I’m going to expect that from it. And horror does not get a pass in this regard.
Some of the very best horror movies that are widely discussed and revered are the ones that have substance, they have weight, they have gravity, and they have a certain unnameable feature that gives them a majestic quality that makes them lurk in your mind for days, weeks, months, and even possibly years after being viewed.
I want to watch horror movies that are smartly written. I want to see horror films that scare me and leave that fear lingering. I want to be able to discuss a horror film in regards to the societal and cultural themes it tackles and not just say, “It had great gore! And, WOW! Did you see those tits?” C’mon, we’re better than that.
I want horror to mean something to me. I want it to blow me away like so many films used to do. And that’s why I’m going to be critical. Because filmmakers won’t know that people like myself want this films unless they actually read it or see my frustrations. And I think it’s fair to push creators into uncomfortable places so that they do something that’s better than anything they’ve previously done and continue on that path of greatness. At least, here’s hoping that’s what happens.
2. Watch more horror movies, specifically in theaters
This one might seem strange but I honestly don’t get out of my place much. I work from home, which makes it very easy to get comfortable just sitting for hours at a time.
But no more. In 2016, I vow to see at least 10 horror movies in theaters, providing that at least 10 horror movies are released in theaters close to me (which is almost a 100% certainty). There’s something magical about going to a movie theater and seeing a film on a gigantic screen with a (hopefully) great sound system. That experience simply cannot be recreated at home (unless you live in a mansion), so I should be taking full advantage of it.
Furthermore, I want to watch at least one horror movie a week on top of those theater trips. That means I want to watch at least 62 horror movies in 2016, which I feel is a fair number. I probably watched that many in 2015 without realizing it, so I’m good with this arrangement.
My recommendation to keep me on track (if you want to help) is to bug me constantly on Twitter so that you know I’m keeping good on my promises.
3. Bring awesome horror content to BD
I don’t know if you readers realize it but a huge portion of my life revolves around each and every one of you. I constantly am thinking if something matches your needs and wants after keeping an eye on what you love to read. I’m always brainstorming ideas for new kinds of content and how to make it happen. Implementation is a bitch, I tells ya.
But I have a sneaking suspicion that 2016 will see some new and awesome means of bringing you great news, original content, and other fun events and I can only hope that you all enjoy it.
And with that, I want to end this piece by getting a little personal and saying thank you to each and every one of you readers. 2015 was a huge year for Bloody-Disgusting and 2016 is shaping up to be even better. I mean, it’s our 15th anniversary, so you better believe we’re excited and have plans to celebrate everything!
Happy New Year to all and, from the bottom or our horror-fueled hearts, thank you for everything.
Editorials
Not Another ‘Scary Movie’: Revisiting Forgotten Parody ‘Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th’
After Scream (1996) made a killing at the box office, as well as won over critics and audiences, a lot of folks in the movie biz thought they could do the same thing (and yield similar results). That thing, of course, being a slasher. Most of these opportunists wound up being pretty straightforward; they were low on humor or commentary. Yet others, like Scary Movie (2000), saw the potential for spoofing Scream, and acted on that impulse with both haste and excitement.
A few months after the Wayans’ comedy first hit theaters, Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th landed on the USA Network, as part of the channel’s “Shriek Week” programming. That straight-to-cable (then home video) destination is possibly why many people still don’t know about this one. Or they simply chose to forget. Whatever the reason, only one of these two horror parodies came out on top—and it’s certainly not the movie where Coolio channeled Prince, and Tom Arnold saved the day.
Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th previously went by the name of I Know What You Screamed Last Semester. That Trimark acquisition then settled on a wordier title, just so it could avoid the litigious wrath of Miramax Films. Folks may or may not remember that Columbia Pictures was sued over the “implied connection” between I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) and Scream. So, yeah, there was no way that this competing Scream parody wasn’t going to be kept on a tight rein.
A Heavy Reliance on Late ’90s TV References
Simon Rex, Julie Benz, Majandra Delfino, Harley Cross, Danny Strong, Tom Arnold and Tiffani-Amber Thiesen in Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th.
Naturally, there would be similarities between Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th and Scary Movie—their scripts are built on the backs of the same two movies. It goes without saying that the other big slasher of the 1990s, I Know What You Did Last Summer, was as much of a target as Scream. However,the film pads itself with more TV references than Scary Movie did.
Half the cast coming off of (and in some cases, returning to) a WB show could be a reason why. Dawson’s Creek is particularly zeroed in on, based on how there’s a central character named “Dawson Deery“, and how the teen drama’s teacher-student affair plotline is satirized to the nth degree. As if there weren’t enough nods to television, Baywatch, VH1’s Pop Up Video, and even those cheesy Mentos commercials all serve as joke prompts.
Shriek director John Blanchard and writers Sue Bailey and Joe Nelms all hailed from television, so it’s understandable that they would stick close to home. The movie’s humor in general makes more sense, in light of learning that Blanchard worked on SCTV, Kids in the Hall, and MADtv. The writers, on the other hand, were each fairly green, with Bailey being the most experienced of the two; she wrote and produced the game show BattleBots. Nevertheless, they, plus Blanchard, churned out a passable, joke-a-minute movie. The whole thing is staggeringly of its time, but no one here was aiming for longevity.
Having seen enough of these kinds of movies, we know to expect jokes of the low-hanging fruit variety. That’s the parody’s whole prime directive. From the characters having names like “Screw Frombehind” and “Doughy Primesuspect”, to stereotyping that feels taboo nowadays, this is a movie from a different era of comedy. Its coarse, corny, and unapologetic sense of humor won’t sit well with everyone in these more enlightened times. In which case, Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th can be treated as a time capsule.
Does Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th Humor Still Hold Up Today?
“You may already be a victim”—Someone receives a most peculiar threatening piece of mail in Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th.
Although Shriek doesn’t live up to its own claims of being so funny that you’ll die of laughter, its bawdier parts could still lead to some nervous laughter. For instance, after this movie’s parallel to Drew Barrymore’s Scream character is done in—not by the killer but by a bug zapper—the movie throws a newspaper next to the victim’s fresh corpse. The headline? “Popular slut killed! Football team mourns”.
We then move on to the wacky and inappropriate goings-on at Bulimia Falls High School, home of the Hurlers. At this nexus of constant absurdity, indecency, and surrealism, students are seen fornicating on the lawn, cheerleading squad applicants are advised to be comfortable with partial nudity, and terrorists openly prepare for an anthrax attack. It can be a tad jarring to watch, especially if you didn’t grow up witnessing this style of comedy firsthand. Hell, even if you did, you may still have a “what the hell were they thinking?” reaction.
It’s not just the aggressively edgy humor here that can make you chuckle—the slapstick, the sight gags, and the ribaldry all have a decent chance of landing. The movie’s own villain, whose hockey mask was instantly transformed into a crudely Ghostface-esque one after coming in contact with an open flame, commits more cheap laughs than kills. His and his victims’ chase sequences, most of which are cartoonish in nature, left this writer grinning. The Scooby-Doo fan in me also totally ate up that clever unmasking joke.
Final Thoughts on This Forgotten Horror Parody
Shriek If You Know What Did Last Friday the 13th
Now, the jury is still out on whether these comedies are to blame for the death of the first slasher revival. There is more to consider than some parodies. At the very least, the likes of Scary Movie didn’t exactly encourage big studios to put their money on a trend that was being derided to death (and not as profitable as the spoofs). These sorts of movies also felt unnecessary at the time, given how their principal inspiration is already a deconstruction of the genre. But like anything else that quickly becomes popular, mockery is unavoidable.
Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th is indeed a movie nobody asked for, much less needed. As a sample of pre-millennium humor and cultural attitudes, it’s not always precise. But as I’ve laid out, your mileage may vary. Horror parodies typically don’t have the best track record, so managing one’s own expectations here is recommended.
Upon rewatching, I for one laughed a bit more than I did back then. Only this time, I responded to the jokes that my younger self didn’t notice or find all that amusing. So it just goes to show that the movies don’t change—we do.
Harley Cross and Majandra Delfino must unmask the killer a number of times in Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th before learning their true identity.
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