Editorials
A Dive-In Screening of ‘The Shallows’ Cements the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema’s Status as the Best Theater in the Country
One of the best things about living in Austin is that we are the home of the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema, aka the best movie theater chain on the planet. So long have I been a patron of this fine establishment that it often boggles my mind when I see people complain about the movie-going experience. Then I quickly remember that not everyone lives in a city where the closest theater has policies like:
- Ordering food and drinks during the movie. Simply write your order on the order cards provided at your seat and stick it up and a server will come by and grab it.
- Kicking out people who talk or text during the movie. If you witness someone in your theater talking or using their cell phone you just write a complaint on your order card and a server will give the people one warning. If it happens again they get kicked out without a refund.
- No children under the age of six are allowed in the theater (unless you are attending a “Baby Day” or one of their Kids Camps).
- Anyone under the age of 18 must attend with a parent or guardian (keep those kids in check!).
Add to this the fact that they never show ads before a movie, just preshows featuring clips (be it YouTube clips or TV/movie clips) that relate to the film you are waiting to see and frequently screen older films as well (I live for their Terror Tuesdays where I have been able to see many horror films on the big screen for the first time) and you’ve got the makings of the best movie theater in the country. This is an establishment that truly cares about their patrons and is the reason I refuse to go to another theater. It’s just a shame they’re only present in 21 cities nationwide (nine of which are in Texas).
One unique thing about the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema is their Rolling Roadshow screenings. What they do is screen classic films in outdoor venues, be it in a park or, as many of you may already know, on the water with films like Jaws. Since it is so rare for a killer shark movie to hit the big screen, the Drafthouse gifted us with an on-the-water screening of the new Jaume Collet-Serra film The Shallows, starring Blake Lively. This entails watching a screening of the film (which is projected on a large inflatable movie screen) while floating on inner tubes in the water. It’s as awesome as it sounds.
We’ve already posted two reviews for The Shallows (Kalyn’s and Jess’) so I won’t bore you with another one, but I’ll just say that it’s a fun little aquatic horror film with some great set pieces, nifty special effects and a fantastic performance from Blake Lively. I could have done with a longer running time and one or two more set pieces, but it’s a highly enjoyable film. Oh, and anyone who criticizes the film for featuring a shark that doesn’t behave like a normal shark must direct the same criticism toward Jaws. Bruce jumped on a boat, you guys. C’mon! 3.5/5 skulls for me. The purpose of this article is to tell you about the one-of-a-kind experience the Drafthouse has so graciously provided audiences with “Dive In to The Shallows.”
Whether you’re seeing The Shallows or Jaws on the water (the venue is designed specifically for Jaws screenings since they show it multiple times during the summer), your ticket (a steep $45, but hear me out) grants you access to the space for nearly five hours. The water opens at 8:30pm and the movie starts at 9pm, but you’re able to arrive as early as 6pm. After you park and get checked in, you are given a complimentary glow necklace and tank top and greeted with the jaws of a shark (sponsored by Lone Star Beer, in case you couldn’t tell). Then you begin your trek to the water.
Along the path you will be treated with such sights as a familiar-looking billboard from Jaws and some blood-stained lifeguard posts (see the image gallery below). Once you travel a little further down the path you’ll come to an open area filled with food trucks, bars, games and other activities to fill your time until the water opens up. I would advise you not grab your tube until they open up the water, as hauling that thing around for two hours is a real chore. Did I mentioned you get to keep the tube? Well, you can. And it looks pretty awesome too!
My first stop was the Garbo’s food truck, which specializes in lobster rolls. After that it was straight to the bar. I chose to skip the games (I’m terrible at anything that involves throwing objects into a hole) and relaxed for a bit to take in my surroundings.
It’s impossible to miss the body of water that you’ll soon be sitting in to watch the movie It comes complete with a warning sign from Amity P.D. and a clear view of the inflatable screen on the opposite shore. There was also a large inflatable shark fin in the water for good measure. For those who are wary of the water, there are complimentary lawn chairs and pool furniture situated on the shore so that you can enjoy the movie from there.
At 8:30 it was announced that the water was open and we could begin finding our “seats.” After a quick run back to the bar I headed for the water. Once I got over my initial squeamishness from the mud in between my toes (I’m not what you would call “outdoorsy”), I floated over to the center of the lake. At 9 o’ clock we were told that the movie would be starting shortly but that there were a couple of rules in addition to the standard Drafthouse theater rules:
- Always keep your glow necklace on so the lifeguards floating around can see you.
- If you get out of the water, make sure to take your tube with you otherwise the lifeguards will see your empty tube and assume you have drowned. They will then stop the movie, pissing everyone off, and search for your body.
- When you finish your beer, let it float on the lake and the staff will clean it up later. Do not fill it with water and let it sink to the bottom.
It was all fairly simple and ensured a positive movie-going experience. I can’t say I wasn’t worried about forgetting rule #2 though. It would be just my luck to have the movie get stopped halfway through.
The Verdict
So how was the experience of watching The Shallows on the water? It was quite a bit of fun! I will say that it may not be the best idea to watch a movie for the first time in that environment, as you will frequently be concentrating on not floating away due to the weak current (both sides are blocked by a rope barrier, but we kept slowly floating toward the rope on the right). It’s the perfect setting to watch Jaws since many of you have probably seen that film a countless number of times and don’t need to pay full attention to the film, but it was a little distracting during The Shallows. Not so distracting that it took away from the experience, but it’s something to keep in mind. Other than that one minor quibble I would highly recommend it! Besides, how many times will you get an opportunity like this? They even had a surprise in store for us when ***SPOILER ALERT*** Lively’s character caused an explosion with a flare gun. Upon impact, fireworks went off above the movie screen and everyone appropriately cheered.
“Dive In to The Shallows” (and Jaws On the Water) firmly cements the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema’s status as the best movie theater in the country. There just isn’t a theater chain out there that shows its patrons as much respect as they do. If you’re ever visiting a city that has one, make it a point to see a movie there. You’ll never want to go to another theater again!
Here is the full gallery of pictures. Please note that the final two images in the gallery below (and the header image at the top of the post) were pulled from the Alamo Drafthouse Rolling Roadshow Facebook page. The rest reflect my and my partner’s expert iPhone photography skills.
The penultimate season of Tales from the Crypt (1989–1996) aired its first three episodes on October 31, so it’s understandable that at least one of those three stories is set on Halloween.
Sandwiched between “Let the Punishment Fit the Crime” (Russell Mulcahy, Ron Finley) and “Whirlpool” (Mick Garris, A. L. Katz & Gilbert Adler) is the most severe episode of the bunch. Maybe the entire series? William Malone and Dick Beebe’s “Only Skin Deep” traded the show’s typical sense of fun for startling amounts of bleakness and kink.
“Only Skin Deep” is, apart from the Crypt Keeper’s intro and outro, noticeably unfunny. There are no considerable attempts at making the viewer laugh. Come to think of it, if those bookends had been replaced, and there was more of a sci-fi element in the story, HBO could have easily squeezed this tale into that successor anthology, Perversions of Science (1997). In Crypt, though, “Only Skin Deep” is much too grim for an audience that had become accustomed to campiness and levity.
What makes “Only Skin Deep” feel dark, among other things, is its protagonist. Showing up to a Halloween party where he’s not welcome, and where his former girlfriend (Diane DiLasco) is attending, Carl Schlag (Peter Onorati) first comes across as your standard bitter ex. You soon realize it’s much worse than that, once Carl threatens Linda (“You know, silly me, thinking I gave you what you deserved. If I’d have done that, I’d have killed you”). Now, I haven’t forgotten that Tales from the Crypt was teeming with vile men who did women harm. Yet Carl’s brand of misogynistic menace hits differently—it borders on being too realistic for this kind of series.
Mike Vosburg’s EC-style comic cover for “Only Skin Deep”, as seen in the Tales from the Crypt episode.
Despite donning a party mask for much of the episode, Carl can’t ever mask his true nature. The invitation did say “come as you are”, after all. That inability to change and be better, however, is why Carl ends up in such a karmic predicament. His outburst of anger at the party attracts the attention of one loner partygoer named Molly (Sherrie Rose, who was also in Season Four’s “On a Deadman’s Chest”). Her bone-white, featureless “mask” and body-bag costume don’t initially register as too strange, especially on a night like this. But at a party chock-full of colorful, cartoonish, and lighthearted ensembles, it does look out of place.
Darkness attracts darkness as Carl ditches the party and accompanies the mysterious Molly to her place. Which, by the way, should have been an immediate red flag. But perhaps she’s so hot, he doesn’t seem to mind the serial killer aesthetic. Resembling a warehouse that has been converted into living spaces, but never then decorated to remove the cold, industrial look, Molly’s home (or lair) is as gloomy as this whole episode feels. It’s like the set of a grungy music video, albeit a tad cleaner. The environments in a typical Crypt episode tend to be small, overfilled, and broken-in. Warm, regardless of any weird goings-on. All that empty space in Molly’s hovel, on the other hand, elicits a creepy feeling that Carl was unwise to ignore.
Tales from the Crypt featured more sex than it didn’t, but hands down, “Only Skin Deep” boasts the steamiest scene in the show’s history. Pushing it over the line, in addition to Onorati showing bare buns and the camera never turning down one of his pelvic thrusts, is the twisted dirty talk. Carl stays in the moment, whereas Molly unleashes charged lines like “the hurt, the anger, give it to me” and “take it out on my flesh like you want to”. It’s all quite kinky, as well as tied into the story’s theme of pain.
How else “Only Skin Deep” differs from other episodes is its twists. Or rather, its lack thereof. Nothing comes as a great surprise here, particularly because the deuteragonist’s ulterior motives are so obvious. By no means is Molly a wolf in sheep’s clothing; her face is a fright mask, she practically reeks of death, and she lives in what can best be described as a serial killer’s hideout. That last-act revelation of Molly’s mask really being her face is also nothing shocking. Cleverness is certainly not this episode’s strength.
A page from “…Only Skin Deep!”, as seen in EC Comics’ Tales from the Crypt.
While “Only Skin Deep” isn’t the most universally loved episode of Tales from the Crypt, it’s an interesting preview of William Malone’s future as a director. Most notably, he went on to helm House on Haunted Hill (1999) and FeardotCom (2002), the former of which was co-written by Dick Beebe, this episode’s writer. Dark Castle Entertainment, that genre house founded by Crypt producers Joel Silver, Robert Zemeckis, and Gilbert Adler, was instrumental in bringing out Malone’s gruesome, over-the-top vision in House on Haunted Hill. However, FeardotCom and Malone’s Masters of Horror episode, “Fair-Haired Child”, are the most stylistically compatible with “Only Skin Deep”.
As one might guess, this episode is nothing like its source material. The “…Only Skin Deep!” found in the pages of EC Comics is set during Mardi Gras in New Orleans, and save for its last couple of pages, is pretty sweet in nature. There, a man named Herbert is enamored with a woman he met five years prior to the present-day story. Every year, he has come down to Mardi Gras to see Suzanne, who’s always dressed as a hag-faced witch. Well, this time, Herbert plans on popping the question and marrying someone who is, for the most part, a total stranger. Suzanne accepts his proposal, but with one condition: they stay in costume until they’re officially hitched. You can probably see where this is going…
Once they are married, Suzanne remains incognito, even when she and Herbert have consummated their vows. A semi-predictive nightmare then rattles Herbert; he dreamt that Suzanne’s real face was as wizened as her mask. Finally, in his haste to find out the truth, Herbert winds up killing his new wife. Faceless and well on her way to bleeding out, the dying Suzanne manages to say she never wore a mask.
For more traditional EC-style ghastliness, your best bet is reading the comic. It’s wickedly sad. For something less conventional, as far as Tales from the Crypt goes, the role-reversing adaptation is worth watching. It’s not the best this show had to offer, although Malone’s visual style, plus the sexual abandon, does set the episode apart. If nothing else, “Only Skin Deep” leaves an impression that, even years later, shows no signs of fading.
Season Six of Tales from the Crypt can be streamed on Shudder, starting on June 5.
Tales from Tales from the Crypt celebrates the show’s Shudder premiere by singling out one episode from each season. So don’t even think about changing that dial, boys and ghouls. More spot-“frights” are to come.
Carl discovers Molly’s collection of human ‘masks’ in the Tales from the Crypt episode, “Only Skin Deep”.
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