Editorials
Sincerest Form of Flattery: 5 Horror Knockoffs
The term “mockbuster” is defined by Wikipedia (the only source for accurate information…right?) as follows:
“…a movie created with the intention of piggy-backing on the publicity of a major movie with a similar title or subject or both.”
The term has clawed its way into the popular lexicon thanks in most part to The Asylum and their blatant “confuse the consumer” products such as Snakes on a Train, The Da Vinci Treasure, and When a Killer Calls. The Asylum’s first mockbuster, The War of the Worlds, wasn’t released until ’05; naturally, it coincided with the release of Stephen Spielberg’s mega-budget adaptation.
The Italians created a boon industry in the late 70s/early 80s of rehashed plots, soundalike titles, and “unofficial” sequels. There’s an upcoming doc called Remake, Remix, Rip-off (which I’m dying to see) that covers numerous Turkish “remakes” such as Turkish Star Wars. Cheap knock offs have been around as long as producers realized they could get away with it, and there are no signs of the trend slowing down. It even appears that big ol’ Hollywood could be getting into the act.
Recently, Brad took the new film, Life, to task for appearing to be an Alien clone. I’m not sure I agree with that sentiment just yet, but I also happen to be a huge fan of Alien knockoffs. B-grade riffs on Ridley Scott’s terrifying “old dark house in space” have turned in some of my favorite Corman pictures. Life is far from low budget, however. Instead, the upcoming film announced from Michael Bay sounds like a far stronger contender for this particular list: Little America is a “if they sued that other movie, they’re certainly coming for you” level take off of Escape from New York.
Now that the mini history lesson is out the way, let’s get to it. Here are 5 horrific horror ripoffs (in no particular order) that have no shame in their copycat game. (NOTE: Being labeled a “ripoff of” does not inherently make a movie bad in my opinion. I actually enjoy some of these films on a purely, brainless, B-movie level. Take of that what you will. Cheers!)
1. Offerings (1989)
First, there was Michael Myers. Now, there is John Radley. The plot of this low budget 1989 slasher flick is…well…it’s Halloween with a few absurd additions. John is a mute who suffers verbal and possible physical abuse at home. He tortures his pets out of frustration (perhaps Rob Zombie was confused and actually thought he was remaking this film). In a terrible accident brought on by local bullies, John falls to the bottom of a well, leaving him terribly burned(?). After ten years in a comatose state, he escapes from the mental hospital to begin seeking his revenge.
Right from the jump, Offerings knows what it is and is totally okay with it. The score alternates between interesting original synth to a complete copy of Carpenter’s daunting piano notes. There’s a local professor who was “involved in the case”, but it’s never really explained what his connection is to the killer. He exists solely because, well, they needed their own Dr. Loomis. Johnny doesn’t wear a mask but sports some spiffy blue overalls to silently stalk his victims, occasionally popping out of the shadows to attack.
As cheapy-cheap as this movie is, the pace moves quickly, the kills are inventive if not terribly gory, and the finale is one big chase scene. When it comes to passable, low-grade, 80’s slasher cheese – that’s about all I could ask for.
2. Creature (1985)
Creature tells the tale of space geologists who make the fatal mistake of responding to a distress signal from a rival German ship. It turns out they’ve just landed themselves smack dab in the feeding grounds of a viscous, slimy, black skinned alien being. Insanity ensues! William Malone (House on Haunted Hill, Feardotcom) directs his second feature, utilizing leftover sets and props from Roger Corman’s Forbidden World (also an Alien impostor).
The truth is there are a ton of movies whose inspiration could be traced back to Ridley Scott’s seminal film (itself reportedly inspired by Bava’s Planet of the Vampires). Creature takes the intergalactic cake for one reason alone, the actual “creature” design. One look at this thing and there is no question Giger and the Xenomorph were being, let’s say, re-interpreted here.
3. Bloody Murder (2000)
You need only look at the cover for this early 2000’s video store mainstay, which somehow spawned two sequels, to tell exactly what’s getting the rip-off treatment. Yes, Friday the 13th is hardly the most original film to begin with and countless other flicks have dared to venture into a secluded campground with a masked murderer on the loose (Joe D’Amato’s Bodycount is a fun Italian take on the subgenre), but none have ever been so egregious as this. Bloody Murder‘s legendary killer is a scrawny dweeb by the name of Trevor Moorehouse who wears a hockey mask!
The filmmakers weren’t even trying on this one. I really hate to say that as no one sets out to make a terrible film, but sometimes “terrible” does happen. It’s just that in this instance, it’s hard to imagine director Ralph Potillo was really trying to create anything beyond a paycheck. Considering this came out in the post-Scream era there’s still some knowing winks and poor attempts at humor sprinkled throughout. Once the credits have rolled, the gravest sin of all, however, is Bloody Murder is bloody boring. Ay, see what I did there?
4. Demon Wind (1990)
Do you love The Evil Dead? So do the filmmakers of Demon Wind! Okay, maybe that’s not entirely fair. They also seem to really love Night of the Demons, but…mostly The Evil Dead. This is a super cheese-ball flick about a group of friends who escape for a weekend away to a decrepit cabin in the middle of nowhere. They unknowingly unleash an ancient evil, a barrage of body jumping demons.
Lest you think “demons” and “cabin” are the only ED connection, may I point out a big book o’ magic and an ancient blade that may be the only saving grace for our hapless group? Demon Wind will try the patience of some while for others it may prove an amazing movie night flick to share with a group of pals. The effects are generally abysmal, but they’re gooey and repulsive enough to elicit the desired effect.
What’s better is that once you think the main cast has been whittled down, leaving scant opportunity for further bloodshed, along come another group of friends to join the party. This happens TWO TIMES! It’s as if the the writer/directer was on page 30 of his script (and subsequently page 60) and thought, “Damn. I need more people to kill. I’ve got an idea!” You’ll know if this is your bag from the trailer. If so, I highly recommend you track it down!
5. Shocking Dark/AKA Terminator II (1989)
Wow. With this movie we get a twofer. Not only is Shocking Dark a complete rip-off of James Cameron’s Aliens, it’s also an unofficial sequel to James Cameron’s Terminator. That’s right, this film was released as Terminator II in several countries. While the plot itself is pretty much all “bad ass military types must infiltrate a colony where all communications have been lost, only to discover rabid monsters dead-set on their demise.” The final act does shift gears into Terminator mode, just in time to justify that alternate title. And, boy howdy, when it does! It’s an insane amalgam of explosions, surprise robot reveals, and time travel.
The military grunts are all tough as nails archetypes copied from Cameron’s original film. For our heroine, we’re given a “scientist” as Bo-bo Ripley whose maternal instincts kick in upon discovering Bo-bo Newt. Unfortunately, she doesn’t elicit much in the way of confidence. She appears utterly perplexed and aimless in every close-up. In other words – you’ve got to see this movie!
This freshly grated Romano cheese is another Italian import from knockoff king, Bruno Mattei. This man has brought us such classics as Cruel Jaws, Hell of the Living Dead (which actually uses Dawn of the Dead’s score in places without any permission what-so-ever), and Robowar (AKA Robocop No. 2). Robowar is interesting in that, much like Shocking Dark, it’s a mashup of two different pre-existing films: it’s obvious namesake and Predator.
FYI: That terrifying, half naked, screaming man was a legit bumper. Variations of this were added to trailers released by the Japanese company, Caution Video.
Have you seen any of the knockoffs on this list? Did I not include your favorite copycat? Sound off below!
Also, I quickly wanted to thank those of you who have welcomed me to BD. I appreciate it and hope you’ve been enjoying my stuff. Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions below or you can always hit me up on Twitter here.
Twice a month Joe Lipsett will dissect a new Amityville Horror film to explore how the “franchise” has evolved in increasingly ludicrous directions. This is “The Amityville IP.”
A bizarre recurring issue with the Amityville “franchise” is that the films tend to be needlessly complicated. Back in the day, the first sequels moved away from the original film’s religious-themed haunted house storyline in favor of streamlined, easily digestible concepts such as “haunted lamp” or “haunted mirror.”
As the budgets plummeted and indie filmmakers capitalized on the brand’s notoriety, it seems the wrong lessons were learned. Runtimes have ballooned past the 90-minute mark and the narratives are often saggy and unfocused.
Both issues are clearly on display in Amityville Karen (2022), a film that starts off rough, but promising, and ends with a confused whimper.
The promise is embodied by the tinge of self-awareness in Julie Anne Prescott (The Amityville Harvest)’s screenplay, namely the nods to John Waters’ classic 1994 satire, Serial Mom. In that film, Beverly Sutphin (an iconic Kathleen Turner) is a bored, white suburban woman who punished individuals who didn’t adhere to her rigid definition of social norms. What is “Karen” but a contemporary equivalent?
In director/actor Shawn C. Phillips’ film, Karen (Lauren Francesca) is perpetually outraged. In her introductory scenes, she makes derogatory comments about immigrants, calls a female neighbor a whore, and nearly runs over a family blocking her driveway. She’s a broad, albeit familiar persona; in many ways, she’s less of a character than a caricature (the living embodiment of the name/meme).
These early scenes also establish a fairly straightforward plot. Karen is a code enforcement officer with plans to shut down a local winery she has deemed disgusting. They’re preparing for a big wine tasting event, which Karen plans to ruin, but when she steals a bottle of cursed Amityville wine, it activates her murderous rage and goes on a killing spree.
Simple enough, right?
Unfortunately, Amityville Karen spins out of control almost immediately. At nearly every opportunity, Prescott’s screenplay eschews narrative cohesion and simplicity in favour of overly complicated developments and extraneous characters.
Take, for example, the wine tasting event. The film spends an entire day at the winery: first during the day as a band plays, then at a beer tasting (???) that night. Neither of these events are the much touted wine-tasting, however; that is actually a private party happening later at server Troy (James Duval)’s house.
Weirdly though, following Troy’s death, the party’s location is inexplicably moved to Karen’s house for the climax of the film, but the whole event plays like an afterthought and features a litany of characters we have never met before.
This is a recurring issue throughout Amityville Karen, which frequently introduces random characters for a scene or two. Karen is typically absent from these scenes, which makes them feel superfluous and unimportant. When the actress is on screen, the film has an anchor and a narrative drive. The scenes without her, on the other hand, feel bloated and directionless (blame editor Will Collazo Jr., who allows these moments to play out interminably).
Compounding the issue is that the majority of the actors are non-professionals and these scenes play like poorly performed improv. The result is long, dull stretches that features bad actors talking over each other, repeating the same dialogue, and generally doing nothing to advance the narrative or develop the characters.
While Karen is one-note and histrionic throughout the film, at least there’s a game willingness to Francesca’s performance. It feels appropriately campy, though as the film progresses, it becomes less and less clear if Amityville Karen is actually in on the joke.
Like Amityville Cop before it, there are legit moments of self-awareness (the Serial Mom references), but it’s never certain how much of this is intentional. Take, for example, Karen’s glaringly obvious wig: it unconvincingly fails to conceal Francesca’s dark hair in the back, but is that on purpose or is it a technical error?
Ultimately there’s very little to recommend about Amityville Karen. Despite the game performance by its lead and the gentle homages to Serial Mom’s prank call and white shoes after Labor Day jokes, the never-ending improv scenes by non-professional actors, the bloated screenplay, and the jittery direction by Phillips doom the production.
Clocking in at an insufferable 100 minutes, Amityville Karen ranks among the worst of the “franchise,” coming in just above Phillips’ other entry, Amityville Hex.
The Amityville IP Awards go to…
- Favorite Subplot: In the afternoon event, there’s a self-proclaimed “hot boy summer” band consisting of burly, bare-chested men who play instruments that don’t make sound (for real, there’s no audio of their music). There’s also a scheming manager who is skimming money off the top, but that’s not as funny.
- Least Favorite Subplot: For reasons that don’t make any sense, the winery is also hosting a beer tasting which means there are multiple scenes of bartender Alex (Phillips) hoping to bring in women, mistakenly conflating a pint of beer with a “flight,” and goading never before seen characters to chug. One of them describes the beer as such: “It looks like a vampire menstruating in a cup” (it’s a gold-colored IPA for the record, so…no).
- Amityville Connection: The rationale for Karen’s killing spree is attributed to Amityville wine, whose crop was planted on cursed land. This is explained by vino groupie Annie (Jennifer Nangle) to band groupie Bianca (Lilith Stabs). It’s a lot of nonsense, but it is kind of fun when Annie claims to “taste the damnation in every sip.”
- Neverending Story: The film ends with an exhaustive FIVE MINUTE montage of Phillips’ friends posing as reporters in front of terrible green screen discussing the “killer Karen” story. My kingdom for Amityville’s regular reporter Peter Sommers (John R. Walker) to return!
- Best Line 1: Winery owner Dallas (Derek K. Long), describing Karen: “She’s like a walking constipation with a hemorrhoid”
- Best Line 2: Karen, when a half-naked, bleeding woman emerges from her closet: “Is this a dream? This dream is offensive! Stop being naked!”
- Best Line 3: Troy, upset that Karen may cancel the wine tasting at his house: “I sanded that deck for days. You don’t just sand a deck for days and then let someone shit on it!”
- Worst Death: Karen kills a Pool Boy (Dustin Clingan) after pushing his head under water for literally 1 second, then screeches “This is for putting leaves on my plants!”
- Least Clear Death(s): The bodies of a phone salesman and a barista are seen in Karen’s closet and bathroom, though how she killed them are completely unclear
- Best Death: Troy is stabbed in the back of the neck with a bottle opener, which Karen proceeds to crank
- Wannabe Lynch: After drinking the wine, Karen is confronted in her home by Barnaby (Carl Solomon) who makes her sign a crude, hand drawn blood contract and informs her that her belly is “pregnant from the juices of his grapes.” Phillips films Barnaby like a cross between the unhoused man in Mulholland Drive and the Mystery Man in Lost Highway. It’s interesting, even if the character makes absolutely no sense.
- Single Image Summary: At one point, a random man emerges from the shower in a towel and excitedly poops himself. This sequence perfectly encapsulates the experience of watching Amityville Karen.
- Pray for Joe: Many of these folks will be back in Amityville Shark House and Amityville Webcam, so we’re not out of the woods yet…
Next time: let’s hope Christmas comes early with 2022’s Amityville Christmas Vacation. It was the winner of Fangoria’s Best Amityville award, after all!
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