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“Orange is the New Black” Goes Full Slasher

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Orange is the New Black, the hit Netflix prison dramedy, just launched its fifth season last week. All thirteen episodes take place over the span of three days in the midst of a riot at the Litchfield Penitentiary. It’s a ballsy choice to allow a full season to play out over such a condensed timeline, but in this writer’s opinion, the gamble mostly pays off. The show has always traversed the peaks and valleys of quality from season to season, and sometimes the struggle can be felt within a single episode. That inconsistency is the price of the show’s fluid tone. One moment may have you on the brink of tears while the next will have you literally crying from laughter.

Spoilers for Season 5 Below.

Creator, Jenji Kohan, and co. have built a narrative as diverse as the characters that inhabit it. One particular hour of this newest season is what we’re here to discuss today. Episode 9, entitled “The Tightening”, goes full blown Halloween as a deranged corrections officer infiltrates the facility during the prisoner led takeover to seek revenge on a certain Russian cook with a mama-bear complex, Red (Kate Mulgrew). The officer in question is the “big bad” from season 4, Piscatella (Brad William Henke) who has been lured back into the prison by Red and her partner in crime this season, Blanca (Laura Gomez). While coming to the end of an accidental amphetamine binge (they thought they were taking energy vitamins), the two have been posing as another guard held hostage inside by sending texts from his phone to Piscatella.

The episode wastes no time in setting the stage for the horrors to come. We open to various lurking POV shots of the women as they walk through the dimly lit corridors of the penitentiary. Someone is watching and waiting. The music hits the kind of ominous bass notes you only find in a stalk-n-slash. As Natasha Lyonne’s Nichols walks down the hall hearing someone calling to her from a darkened broom closet, we know this won’t end well for her. She’s abruptly snatched by someone unseen and dragged in behind the slamming door. Other inmates pass by without noticing a thing.

So it has begun, Piscatella sets about snatching each and every one of the people closest to Red in scenes that put a delightful spin on many of the tropes we’ve come to expect from the horror genre. A couple sharing an intimate moment in a shower are quickly snatched up. Another couple is interrupted as one is dragged away, leaving the other confused and afraid. She calls out, “Hello? This isn’t funny!” It’s never funny, is it?

Other homages cover the likes of When A Stranger Calls, as Black Cindy (Adrienne C. Moore) answers an unnerving prank call from the resident meth-heads, Leanne and Angie (Emma Myles and Julie Lake). They ask Cindy, “Have you checked the children?” only for her to respond, “Nope. Pause. I know how that shit goes. The children are already dead, and I’m next. Cause’ that how it goes for black folk in the movies.” Only moments later she turns a corner to find the ghostly image of two girls standing still, side by side, at the end of the hall a’la The Shining. Of course, after she turns tail the opposite direction with a resounding, “Oh, hell no!” we learn it was only the duo known as Flaritza (Jackie Cruz and Diane Guerrero) practicing singing by the flaccid light of their cell phone.

Beyond the obvious nods throughout “The Tightening”, one genre convention the writers nail perfectly is the cliche of the “hysterical woman”. So often in horror films, the female lead is reduced to a blubbering mess as she becomes convinced of the peril surrounding herself and those she loves. Naturally, no one she trusts seems to believe her. They chalk it up to lack of sleep, depression, general hysteria. More often than not, the damsel is one hundred percent correct in her assertion of the danger approaching, and those who doubted her realize it only when it’s become too late. Red is our woman in peril here. She intrinsically knows that Piscatella is after her and her friends, but no one will listen to her. It’s all explained away by her crashing withdrawals from the speed binge. It’s perfect cannon fodder for a show like Orange is the New Black, a strikingly feminist series, to poke fun at one of our genre’s most tired tropes.

At the end, the fun and games of the episode come to a head once we learn Piscatella’s endgame. Of course, he hasn’t been murdering the ensemble One by one. He’s gathered the women up, bound them, and plans to force them to watch as he demeans, humiliates, and tortures Red. The worst is saved for episode 10, and it’s a difficult scene to watch that stands at odds with the lighter tone of “The Tightening”. There’s that famous OITNB tonal ping pong again. Thankfully, before we dive headlong into the real nightmare of Piscatella the Boogeyman, we’re gifted one more horror-centric zinger. Red discovers the hideout where her friends are being held hostage, rips the duct tape from Nichols’s mouth and asks “Where is he?!” Nichols replies:

“He’s off playing Jason from Friday the 13th or Jason’s mom…technically. Spoiler alert!”

Have you guys been watching the show? Were there any genre nods that I missed?

Editorials

‘A Haunted House’ and the Death of the Horror Spoof Movie

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Due to a complex series of anthropological mishaps, the Wayans Brothers are a huge deal in Brazil. Around these parts, White Chicks is considered a national treasure by a lot of people, so it stands to reason that Brazilian audiences would continue to accompany the Wayans’ comedic output long after North America had stopped taking them seriously as comedic titans.

This is the only reason why I originally watched Michael Tiddes and Marlon Wayans’ 2013 horror spoof A Haunted House – appropriately known as “Paranormal Inactivity” in South America – despite having abandoned this kind of movie shortly after the excellent Scary Movie 3. However, to my complete and utter amazement, I found myself mostly enjoying this unhinged parody of Found Footage films almost as much as the iconic spoofs that spear-headed the genre during the 2000s. And with Paramount having recently announced a reboot of the Scary Movie franchise, I think this is the perfect time to revisit the divisive humor of A Haunted House and maybe figure out why this kind of film hasn’t been popular in a long time.

Before we had memes and internet personalities to make fun of movie tropes for free on the internet, parody movies had been entertaining audiences with meta-humor since the very dawn of cinema. And since the genre attracted large audiences without the need for a serious budget, it made sense for studios to encourage parodies of their own productions – which is precisely what happened with Miramax when they commissioned a parody of the Scream franchise, the original Scary Movie.

The unprecedented success of the spoof (especially overseas) led to a series of sequels, spin-offs and rip-offs that came along throughout the 2000s. While some of these were still quite funny (I have a soft spot for 2008’s Superhero Movie), they ended up flooding the market much like the Guitar Hero games that plagued video game stores during that same timeframe.

You could really confuse someone by editing this scene into Paranormal Activity.

Of course, that didn’t stop Tiddes and Marlon Wayans from wanting to make another spoof meant to lampoon a sub-genre that had been mostly overlooked by the Scary Movie series – namely the second wave of Found Footage films inspired by Paranormal Activity. Wayans actually had an easier time than usual funding the picture due to the project’s Found Footage presentation, with the format allowing for a lower budget without compromising box office appeal.

In the finished film, we’re presented with supposedly real footage recovered from the home of Malcom Johnson (Wayans). The recordings themselves depict a series of unexplainable events that begin to plague his home when Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) decides to move in, with the couple slowly realizing that the difficulties of a shared life are no match for demonic shenanigans.

In practice, this means that viewers are subjected to a series of familiar scares subverted by wacky hijinks, with the flick featuring everything from a humorous recreation of the iconic fan-camera from Paranormal Activity 3 to bizarre dance numbers replacing Katy’s late-night trances from Oren Peli’s original movie.

Your enjoyment of these antics will obviously depend on how accepting you are of Wayans’ patented brand of crass comedy. From advanced potty humor to some exaggerated racial commentary – including a clever moment where Malcom actually attempts to move out of the titular haunted house because he’s not white enough to deal with the haunting – it’s not all that surprising that the flick wound up with a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes despite making a killing at the box office.

However, while this isn’t my preferred kind of humor, I think the inherent limitations of Found Footage ended up curtailing the usual excesses present in this kind of parody, with the filmmakers being forced to focus on character-based comedy and a smaller scale story. This is why I mostly appreciate the love-hate rapport between Kisha and Malcom even if it wouldn’t translate to a healthy relationship in real life.

Of course, the jokes themselves can also be pretty entertaining on their own, with cartoony gags like the ghost getting high with the protagonists (complete with smoke-filled invisible lungs) and a series of silly The Exorcist homages towards the end of the movie. The major issue here is that these legitimately funny and genre-specific jokes are often accompanied by repetitive attempts at low-brow humor that you could find in any other cheap comedy.

Not a good idea.

Not only are some of these painfully drawn out “jokes” incredibly unfunny, but they can also be remarkably offensive in some cases. There are some pretty insensitive allusions to sexual assault here, as well as a collection of secondary characters defined by negative racial stereotypes (even though I chuckled heartily when the Latina maid was revealed to have been faking her poor English the entire time).

Cinephiles often claim that increasingly sloppy writing led to audiences giving up on spoof movies, but the fact is that many of the more beloved examples of the genre contain some of the same issues as later films like A Haunted House – it’s just that we as an audience have (mostly) grown up and are now demanding more from our comedy. However, this isn’t the case everywhere, as – much like the Elves from Lord of the Rings – spoof movies never really died, they simply diminished.

A Haunted House made so much money that they immediately started working on a second one that released the following year (to even worse reviews), and the same team would later collaborate once again on yet another spoof, 50 Shades of Black. This kind of film clearly still exists and still makes a lot of money (especially here in Brazil), they just don’t have the same cultural impact that they used to in a pre-social-media-humor world.

At the end of the day, A Haunted House is no comedic masterpiece, failing to live up to the laugh-out-loud thrills of films like Scary Movie 3, but it’s also not the trainwreck that most critics made it out to be back in 2013. Comedy is extremely subjective, and while the raunchy humor behind this flick definitely isn’t for everyone, I still think that this satirical romp is mostly harmless fun that might entertain Found Footage fans that don’t take themselves too seriously.

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