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Editorials

‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’: Ranking the Films from Worst to Best!

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Between the recent movement to celebrate August 18 as Texas Chain Saw Massacre Day due to the film’s events taking place on August 18th, 1973, the 43rd anniversary of the film’s initial release on October 1st, 1974, and a highly-anticipated prequel headed our way in October, Leatherface seems to have more longevity than any of his other fellow horror icons.

While the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise hasn’t spawned nearly as many as films as counterparts Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, or Freddy Krueger, the series has undergone a much bigger transformation than any other horror franchise. Beginning with the seminal shocker classic, the series has added numerous backstories, injected humor, a ton of gore, a reboot, and even an Illuminati-like secret society in cahoots with the murderous Texas family.

In anticipation of the upcoming Leatherface, we revisited and ranked all seven Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies from worst to best:


7) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre The Beginning

Set around four years prior to the events in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), this prequel opens with the gruesome birth of Leatherface, or Thomas Hewitt in this iteration. Thirty years later, a grown Leatherface and his twisted family waste no time torturing a pair of brothers and their girlfriends. On the one hand, the prequel nails a brisk pace. It’s nihilistic in its dispatching of the characters, and that we get more R. Lee Ermey on screen is great. However, save for the weak attempt at unnecessary backstory to the Hewitt family, it’s almost a carbon copy of the previous entry in this series. Knowing how “Sheriff Hoyt” got his sheriff’s uniform wasn’t as shocking as it was meant to be, and felt more like filler than anything relevant. We also never really learn about the victims, save for that the brothers have been drafted into the Vietnam War much to the disappointment of the younger brother, so we never manage to care what happens to them either. Slick in style and gore, but a bit repetitive and soulless.


6) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre Next Generation

The first and only of the series to be written and directed by original co-creator Kim Henkel, The Next Generation is also one of the most panned. Light on gore and heavy on cartoonish characters, this entry keeps Leatherface mostly relegated to the background while Matthew McConaughey chews the scenery as main villain Vilmer.  McConaughey’s performance is so exaggerated that it moves past comical into grating territory. The reveal toward the end that an Illuminati-like organization hires the family to show victims the meaning of horror, offering a sort of transcendental experience to the unwitting victims, is a strange twist that doesn’t quite work for the series (it didn’t quite work for most people either, just a year later, with the Cult of Thorn controlling Michael Myers in Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers either). Why isn’t this ranked the worst? Renee Zellweger’s final girl Jenny is surprisingly one of the best characters of the entire series. Despite her nerdy appearance, Jenny demonstrates a knack for calling out bullshit from the outset. From calling out a classmate’s goofy claim that a lack of sex will cause cancer to standing up to her attackers, Jenny’s mental toughness makes her a character worth rooting for.


5) Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)

Chainsaw Massacre 3D

There’s a lot that’s wrong with this entry in the series. That it ignores all other films and sets itself up as a sequel to the original isn’t a problem; continuity has never been this series’ strong point. But it does ignore all logic, like having Alexandra Daddario play what was supposed to have been a woman approaching 40. In short, Texas Chainsaw 3D is dumb. However, it’s also admirably ballsy in its dumb choices. The decision to make Leatherface a sort of anti-hero is insane and the constant tease of nudity feels completely out of place here. Yet, there’s a sense of fun and enough nods and cameos from the original cast that die-heard series fans can enjoy. It’s a very, very flawed movie, but it’s not afraid to try something completely different and have fun while doing it. Somehow it manages to nail its entertainment factor despite everything that’s wrong with it. It’s the type of bad movie you enjoy watching, even when logic says you shouldn’t.


4) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

This remake set off a whole series of horror remakes from Michael Bay’s Platinum Dunes production company, and it’s easy to see why. It’s a brutal, no holds barred take on the classic with sleek modern polish.  It takes a little while to kick into high gear, but when it does it’s unrelenting. That this version is completely devoid of any humor bothered many critics upon release, and they also cited a cast of unlikeable characters as well. I disagree. While we may not fully get to know most of them, the group of five friends that find themselves in the Hewitt family crosshairs are likable enough. There’s a loyalty among them that’s endearing, and Jessica Biel’s a compelling enough final girl to maintain the film’s intensity. The story does drag on a bit longer than it should, and young David Dorfman’s (The Ring) performance as Jedidiah Hewitt is just as weird and out of place as the ridiculous fake teeth that he’s forced to wear. In terms of remakes, it’s pretty decent.


3) Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

Leatherface Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3

Released by New Line Cinema as an attempt to capture the success of the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise by pushing Leatherface into the spotlight as the series’ star, the studio had to trim down the graphic violence after the MPAA slapped an X rating on it, reducing the final film to an R-rating. Even without the additional 4 and a half minutes of gore, this sequel still ranks high on this list. Why? The more traditional approach to the slasher formula with perfectly timed moments of humor makes this one of my favorites in the series. This sequel also boasts the best chainsaw of the bunch: a golden beauty engraved with the memorable quote, “The saw is family.” While Kate Hodge’s Michelle is a mostly dull final girl, Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead, The Devil’s Rejects) more than makes up for it as the badass Benny. Of the entire series, his is the only character smart enough to bring a better weapon into the fight for survival. Also, Matthew McConaughey should’ve taken a page from Viggo Mortensen, as Tex Sawyer manages to equally charm and menace without being too cartoonish. Look for a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it cameo early on by Caroline Williams; seems like Stretch made it out of her encounter in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and became a news reporter.


2) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

How do you top the gritty, minimal horror that captured the attention of audiences everywhere? Well, if you’re Tobe Hooper you realize that you probably can’t, so instead, you push the horror into overdrive by hiring Tom Savini to handle makeup effects and head firmly into dark comedy territory. The gore and over the top humor turned a lot of people off from this sequel, yet Tobe Hooper and Kim Henkel originally intended to take the story much further by featuring an entire town of cannibals in a satire of Motel Hell. Of course, the studio wasn’t on board and their interference lead to the sequel we know today. Wacky humor aside, the sequel offers more continuity than the rest of the series; the remaining Sawyer family retreats to an abandoned carnival ground in the aftermath of Sally Hardesty’s escape and Lt. Boude Enright is the Hardesty siblings’ uncle seeking revenge. The sequel even brings back the Hitchhiker, now a dead puppet named Nubbins, lovingly toted around by Leatherface and Chop-Top Sawyer, a memorable addition to the family thanks to Bill Moseley’s performance. Dennis Hopper may have famously hated this movie, but his take on the chainsaw-wielding Enright is perfectly eccentric. This wasn’t the sequel everyone expected, but I’m glad Hooper went with his instincts to deliver one memorable horror comedy.


1) The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

Texas Chain Saw Massacre

No surprises here; this is by far the best in the series. Why wouldn’t it be? Without this classic, there would be no sequels, prequels, or reboots. Over forty years later, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre remains one of the most influential horror films in history. Sally Hardesty still ranks high on the list of cinema’s best final girls, and her brother Franklin can’t be beat in terms of horror’s most annoying characters. There’s really nothing I could else I could add here that hasn’t already been said before, but I think it’s safe to say we’re all in agreement on this particular spot on the list.

Horror journalist, RT Top Critic, and Critics Choice Association member. Has appeared on PBS series' Monstrum, served on the SXSW Midnighter shorts jury, and moderated horror panels for WonderCon, SeriesFest, and Popcorn Frights Film Fest.

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Editorials

‘Bloodlust: Subspecies III’ Remains One of Full Moon’s Greatest Achievements

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Bloodlust: Subspecies III

The problem with filming sequels back-to-back is that, unless you can afford expensive reshoots, there’s no easy way to adjust course in between movies if fans react badly to where the story is headed. That’s why it’s important to have a complete narrative thought out well in advance lest you accidentally kill a budding franchise.

However, this isn’t always the case. Every once in a while, it seems like the cinema gods smile upon certain chaotic productions and gift moviegoers with complete franchises that feel like more than the sum of their hastily produced parts. Ted Nicolaou’s Bloodlust: Subspecies III is precisely one of these miraculous pictures, with the raw talents of the artists involved (as well as the continued support from Romania) turning the feature into an effective conclusion for a series that kind of made things up as the filmmakers went along.

That’s why I’d like to invite my fellow readers to join me on this third part of our journey through the Subspecies franchise as we look into Bloodlust and talk about how it remains a surprisingly satisfying finale to the original trilogy.

A Trilogy Planned on the Fly

Released only a year after Bloodstone found plenty of success in rental stores and mail-in VHS catalogues worldwide, 1994’s Bloodlust was produced at the same time as its predecessor in (mostly) the same locations and with the same team. This means that the movie benefited from all the same upgrades as Bloodstone, with the crew now being more experienced with the ins and outs of surviving a low-budget Romanian production and the cast really settling into their characters.

At this point, everything from location scouting to the makeup process had been streamlined, with Wayne Toth and Norman Cabrera, the main duo behind special effects, even switching out time-consuming prosthetics for latex gloves in order to speed up Anders Hove’s monstrous transformation. The titular “subspecies” demons were also once again relegated to a mere cameo appearance due to the laborious puppetry required to bring them to life.

The only real hiccup came from the fact that actress Denice Duff had replaced the first film’s Michelle (Laura Mae Tate) and was immediately expected to portray the character as both an innocent victim in part II and as a secondary villain in part III. According to behind-the-scenes interviews, the hectic production schedule that blended two different movies meant that Duff would often find herself having to alternate between two incredibly different versions of Michelle during the same shooting day – though it’s obvious that she’s having more fun with Bloodlust’s more traditionally vampiric version of her character.

In the finished film, we pick things up immediately where the previous entry left off as Rebecca (Melanie Shatner) is forced to leave her vampire sister Michelle (Duff) behind in the dungeons of Castle Vladislav due to the rising sun. This allows Mummy (Pamela Gordon) to use Michelle’s blood to revive the vicious Radu (Hove) so that he may continue his quest for the coveted Bloodstone – a magical artifact that perpetually drips the Blood of Saints.

Meanwhile, the dreamy US embassy agent Mel (Kevin Blair) agrees to help Rebecca plan a rescue mission, though they’re unaware that Radu has become infatuated with Michelle during his attempts to guide her growing bloodlust. This all culminates in a climactic confrontation meant to tie up all of the series’ loose ends in one of Full Moon Pictures’ most ambitious productions.

The Evolution of Radu

Like its predecessor, Bloodlust: Subspecies III was also warmly received by fans who argued that the series was an even bigger success than Full Moon’s other major horror franchise, Puppet Master. This praise wasn’t unanimous, however, as 1994 had seen the rise of a more modern breed of sexy vampire popularized by Anne Rice, with old-school Nosferatu like Radu being viewed as obsolete when compared to the likes of Lestat and Gary Oldman’s take on Dracula.

In a way, one might argue that Nicolaou’s film is something of a swan song for the classic vampire story, as Bloodlust combines all of the traditional elements we tend to associate with these tales into a single tragic yarn that ties a neat little bow on Radu’s story as well as the old-fashioned monster movies that he represents. The finale remains shocking despite the fact that this is the third time we see Radu get brutally killed onscreen, with the brief tease that he may one day return feeling more like a nod towards the nature of evil rather than sequel bait.

The film dabbles a bit in gothic romance and even explores the inherent power fantasy behind transforming into an immortal creature of the night, but the filmmakers never lose sight of Radu as a demonic force even when he’s willing to betray his beloved Mummy for Michelle’s sake. In fact, his twisted “love” for his fledgling makes him even creepier as we get the feeling that his passion comes from a dark and disturbing place.

Anders Hove is at his absolute best in this film, with the effects department boosting his moments of what the younger generation would call “aura farming” whenever Radu emerges from shadows like a 90s version of Count Orlok. There are even a couple of surprisingly effective jump-scares here, which is why I’d argue that Bloodlust cements Radu as one of the most memorable cinematic vampires of all time despite his humble origins.

Subspecies Saves Its Best For Last

Nicolaou and Vlad Panescu also saved the best for “last” (more on that in a bit) regarding the film’s visuals, with the cinematography and overall atmosphere of Bloodlust absolutely surpassing what we saw in the previous films. Everything feels appropriately climactic this time around (including the wonderful soundtrack that was co-composed alongside an authentic Romanian orchestra), and I appreciate how this is the fastest-paced entry in the trilogy since the film doesn’t need to waste time setting anything up.

Bloodlust still suffers from some of the same low-budget blemishes as its predecessors, but there’s so much creative passion here that no amount of wonky effects work or stilted dialogue can get in the way of appreciating the flick’s gothic grandeur. That’s why it’s not surprising that the movie’s definitive(-ish) ending would later be retconned as fans begged for more Radu.

Of course, the next entry in this series would be a different kind of vampiric endeavor altogether, with the filmmakers attempting to engage with the same trends that ultimately killed Radu and his antiquated kin. That, however, is a story for another time. For now, I’ll merely insist that Bloodlust: Subspecies III remains a highlight of Full Moon’s expansive catalogue and is definitely worth seeking out today.

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