Editorials
10 Stephen King Stories That May Be Too Weird for Adaptation
Stephen King has been churning out novels and short story collections on a yearly basis for the last forty-plus years, giving film and television plenty of fodder to fill their screens. While the frenzy to adapt King’s work has had its ups and downs, both in quality and frequency, it seems we are now in something of a Renaissance for Uncle Stevie’s adaptions.
With television shows like 11/22/63 and Mr. Mercedes garnering critical praise and the upcoming theatrical version of IT projected to slay at the box office, it feels pretty damn good to be a King fan right now. And despite a few hiccups (*cough*The Dark Tower*cough*), the King Machine isn’t showing any signs of slowing as properties are being announced for adaptation on what seems like a weekly basis.
But what about the properties that aren’t being cherry-picked? What works by King are just too out there for general audiences?
Well, here are 10 Stephen King tales that just may be too weird for the masses…
Note: Some of the entries on this list have been turned into short films, but not full length features. And while most of these are short stories that seem like they don’t warrant a full length movie, keep in mind, there are 10 Children of the Corn flicks, so…
Also, there could be an announcement for any of these to be greenlit, any day now. After all, we are getting a movie based on Gerald’s Game, which is a book I never thought anyone would take a chance on adapting. So, never say never!
The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon (1999)
A girl obsessed with former Red Sox pitcher, Tom Gordon, takes a hallucinatory adventure through the woods after she gets separated from her family on a hiking trip. Oh, and a wasp-faced evil entity is stalking her and sometimes it takes the form of a bear. Honestly, I think this one would be pretty cool as a film. Give it to Laika, the animation studio behind Coraline and ParaNorman. They might be able to make sense of it.
“I Am the Doorway” (from Night Shift, 1978)
This story is goddamn terrifying. I’m a sucker for cosmic horror and body horror, and this one has them both in spades. The pitch: an astronaut comes home and starts growing extraterrestrial eyes all over his body, which doesn’t really lead to a happy ending… as you might imagine. Sounds like a real crowd-pleaser, doesn’t it?
“The Lawnmower Man” (from Night Shift, 1978)
The only things the 1992 cyberpunk film and King’s original short have in common are the title and some aspect of lawn care. Now if the movie had featured a grass-eating satyr who worshiped the Greek god Pan, maybe they’d be in the same ballpark.
Rage (1977)
There’s a reason King’s first publication under his pseudonym, Richard Bachmann has never been optioned for a movie: It’s an angry, ugly book written by a young man who had not fully discovered his voice. It’s a novel about a school shooting in which we are almost expected to take the side of the shooter. Now, this might be a moral conundrum that could make for an interesting drama, but a direct film adaptation would probably be abysmal and in poor taste.
The Long Walk (1979)
Arguably King’s best Bachman novel, The Long Walk is a harrowing and painfully realistic dystopian tale about a group of teenage boys who participate in a walking contest where there are no runner-ups. Maybe this story hasn’t seen a proper adaptation because of the glut of young adult dystopian movies filling multiplexes, or maybe it’s because The Long Walk is absolutely brutal and soul-crushing.
“Gray Matter” (from Night Shift, 1978)
This is a story of recluse who buys a “bad” beer carrying a mutagen that turns him into a disgusting, cat-eating blob. I know that doesn’t sound too out there (at least not for King), but the detail Uncle Stevie puts into the transformation (and the recluse’s more refined cravings later on) is equal parts disgusting and terrifying. I can assure you, you’ll never drink a skunky beer again after reading this one.
“The Moving Finger” (from Nightmares & Dreamscapes, 1990)
This was previously adapted as an episode of the anthology show Monsters, and while it was blast to see Tom Noonan battle a giant finger growing out of a drain for twenty-two minutes, I could have watched it for two hours. Alas, I don’t know how many people would be in that same boat.
“The Breathing Method” (from Different Seasons, 1982)
This is easily one of the weirdest and most oddly endearing stories King has ever written. The tale is told from the point of view of an aging doctor as he recalls an incident where a young, pregnant woman is involved in a fatal car crash and stays alive long enough to deliver her baby. I know this sounds like the setup to a Lifetime or Hallmark TV movie, but did I mention the woman has been decapitated and her head is several feet away from her body as she goes into labor? Yeaaahh.
“Survivor Type” (from Skeleton Crew, 1985)
This is a story that King himself has said “goes little bit too far.” And he’s not wrong. This one I actually consider a litmus test for new King readers. If you can get down with this story, you can get down with anything. “Survivor Type” is a story of a man who winds up on a deserted island with a whole lot of heroin and nothing to eat. What could go wrong?
From a Buick 8 (2002)
Interdimensional portal in the trunks of cars. Father and son relationships. Giant alien fish. This book has EVERYTHING…except a film adaptation. This one must be a pretty hard sell. At one point the late, great George A Romero was reportedly working on it, and then the reigns were handed over to Tobe Hooper. Now, it’s as dead as the creatures the titular Buick gives birth to.
So there you have it. What did I miss? What your favorite Stephen King story that is perhaps too messed up to be brought to life?
Editorials
André Øvredal’s ‘Troll Hunter’ Remains One of the Best Found Footage Movies
In this day and age, the word “troll” is often used to describe various online nuisances. Yet as abundant and irksome as the modern troll can be, they aren’t usually as fearsome as their mythological counterparts. I’m not talking about the small and gentler versions that have become more common to see in media. No, there are much bigger and scarier trolls out there—and André Øvredal’s movie Troll Hunter is one of the best places to find them.
It doesn’t take long for Troll Hunter (or Trolljegeren) to dump the Blair Witch Project-esque setup and aim for something a lot fresher. The trajectory of the story is augmented by Otto Jespersen’s character Hans, the titular Troll Hunter. The second he comes barreling out of the deep, dark woods and shouts “troll” at the camera, this movie takes a turn into what feels like uncharted territory. Not only subject-wise, but also conceptually.
For fantastical and made-up subject matter in cinema, found footage is a fast way to add a guise of believability. After all, what we accept to be the most crucial aspect of documentaries—the truth—rubs off on pseudo-documentaries, despite our understanding of the pretense involved. That is what Øvredal delivered with Troll Hunter: a movie so convincing that some viewers wondered if trolls really do exist. So, had this been straightforwardly made, it likely wouldn’t have been as effective. Conventional narratives would be more inclined to treat something like trolls as flat out unreal, and never try to convince the audience to think otherwise.

Hans petrifies the three-headed Tusseladd troll.
The viewers, like the characters trailing Hans, are quickly thrown into the deeper end of that extraordinary story. They have to process all this new information while staying on the go. So, although there is no significant amount of meandering, narratively or physically, there is still a good amount of atmosphere, not to mention tension building. It’s never anything frightful, but then again, Troll Hunter isn’t your standard offering of horror; it’s more on the low end of the dark fantasy spectrum. We aren’t ever spirited away to a faraway world—we stay in rather familiar surroundings, as well as dip into those less so. The outcome is a movie where you’re constantly more in awe than in terror.
As fantasy fiction might do, Troll Hunter prefers not to deal with incredulity. There is no time to waste on doubt, as interviewer Thomas (Glenn Erland Tosterud), soundperson Johanna (Johanna Mørck), and cameraman Kalle (Tomas Alf Larsen) all follow Hans around, recording whatever this character is willing to reveal about his bizarre job. Of course, the Troll Hunter himself is not an open book; in that respect, the diegetic documentary fails to fully capture and unpack the more interesting of its two subjects. Yes, all those giant, monstrous trolls are indeed incredible, but understandably, your mind wanders to their pursuer. What kind of person signs up for this gig and then chooses to stick with it for so long?
Reviews have called out Troll Hunter for its lack of character development. In regard to Thomas and his fellow documentarians, that criticism is valid, but bear in mind, they aren’t the focus of the story, either. Meanwhile, Hans is a well-crafted character. At least better than first realized. Before he was introduced, Hans had already grown tired of the troll grind. Fed up with that low compensation for his services, resentful of the bureaucracy, and wanting to expose his employer on a large scale, Hans’ discontent is glaring.
Then there are those finer details about the Troll Hunter, such as that indifference to both the natural splendor of his everyday surroundings and the affections of an obviously smitten colleague, that also suggest some level of despondency. So it is fair to say this movie doesn’t feature any sizable growth for its characters; however, the namesake isn’t underwritten. No doubt, putting a real-life character like Otto Jespersen in that role is partly why Hans is so fascinating—maybe even relatable.

Otto Jespersen as Hans the Troll Hunter.
There is always a small risk whenever using the term “mockumentary” to describe a found-footage movie, as the word could imply humor where there is none. In the case of Troll Hunter, the term’s usage is appropriate. Some folks have claimed the English-dubbed version has the more comedic tone, however, the Norwegian cut isn’t exactly humorless. Apart from the trolls’ absurd appearances, this is a movie where the characters nearly choke on the monsters’ farts, and Christians are like walking targets. Hans’ complete apathy towards everything is another cause of laughter. Overall, the comedy is intentionally dry and inconsistent. Unfunny, though? Absolutely not.
In a movie where endemic creatures are maltreated, as well as disavowed from living freely and peacefully, it’s hard not to notice the ecological message buried beneath the story. In addition to that is the unmistakable political satire. There is this whole business about intrusive and unsightly power lines—like trolls, they’re big blemishes on the land—that leads to what is perhaps the movie’s funniest moment. The scene in question is that one where certain electric lines, the ones secretly being used to keep the trolls at bay, go in a loop and don’t actually send power to any residents. Yet the monitors of said lines don’t find this at all weird. So it stands to reason that Øvredal was having a go at those who accept the government’s doings without question.
Looking past the fact that trolls aren’t actually real, this movie is an enlightening source of information. And not just for international audiences; Norwegians, too, get schooled about their homeland’s own mythology. It’s also evident from everything on screen that Øvredal and his crew were enthusiastic about the topic. The creature designs are the most indicative of that zeal; those imaginative yet myth-accurate manifestations are equally amusing and grotesque. One second you’re laughing at their phallic noses, the next you’re white-knuckling during a hairy sequence. Most surprisingly is how well the trolls’ visual effects hold up after fifteen years. It’s not all spotless, but on the whole, they remain impressive.
Vouching for a mockumentary about trolls isn’t easy, but those who do come around and give it a shot will more than likely be grateful for the recommendation. For Troll Hunter is a real find in that vast and varied genre we call “found footage“.

A bridge troll reaches up for food and finds Hans decked out in armor.





You must be logged in to post a comment.