Editorials
A Queen of Ice and Fire: Celebrating the Many Characters of Lena Headey
For the past eight years, actress Lena Headey has been intertwined with her character on Game of Thrones; the icy and ruthless Cersei Lannister. Easily one of televisions most hated characters of all time, Headey still brought humanity and depth to her character, making her greater than what could’ve easily been a caricature of a villain. A fiercely protective mother and a tragic past made her the most dangerous character in Westeros. Cersei is a wild card in the upcoming final episodes of the popular series, and so is Headey’s bright future after. Her lengthy list of credits has brought a wealth of characters made more unforgettable by her range and versatility. While we wait for the final episodes to arrive, we look back at some Headey’s best roles in genre and genre adjacent film. These characters were improved by her performances, all standouts even if them films themselves weren’t quite as memorable.
Dr. Katheryn Jennings – The Cave
This PG-13 action horror film mirroring Pitch Black followed a group of scientists and spelunkers as they’re trapped in a subterranean system and forced to fight off bizarre creatures isn’t very great. It’s full of fun monsters and entertaining enough for a popcorn flick, but it’s full of eye-rolling moments, too. But it is the film that put Lena Headey on the map, from a horror standpoint. Headey plays Katheryn Jennings, the “Final Girl” so to speak, and the scientist who figures out the cause and workings of the creatures down below. Headey gave it her all, even when the script meant she didn’t have to.
Angelika – The Brothers Grimm
Terry Gilliam’s fairy tale origin story rendered the Grimm brothers as bumbling con-men forced to confront actual creatures due to an ancient curse. Gilliam’s unusual style of not so coherent storytelling made even more complicated by creative differences with the studio, making The Brothers Grimm a tough one to fully embrace. The bright spot, though, is Headey’s performance as Angelika, the savvy huntress who’s the straight man to the comedic brothers. She saves their skin many times over, and her fearlessness is charming.
Queen Gorgo – 300
Hell hath no fury like a Spartan queen scorned. While the bulk of this violent, stylized Zack Snyder actioner centered around the Battle of Thermopylae and the 300 Spartan warriors, lead by King Leonidas (Gerard Butler), that held off thousands of Persians, it was Queen Gorgo’s struggle to rule in her husband’s absence that proved just how much mettle it took to be a Spartan. Headey breathed fire and ferocity into her character, making Gorgo someone you both sympathized with while never, ever wanting to cross her. Gorgo was strong enough to hold court on her own, and slaughter anyone that would dare cross her.
Gina McVey – The Broken
With Us now in theaters, it’s a perfect time to revisit The Broken considering its central theme of doppelgangers. A sort of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, existential style of horror thriller, Headey plays the lead role, Gina McVey. McVey is a radiologist who’s first introduced examining x-rays of a patient with Sinus Inversus, a condition in which someone is born with their organs reversed in mirror to where they should be. Mirrors are integral to this, as McVey soon discovers a woman identical to her, and her life, which sets her down a path of paranoia as she seeks answers. I’m a sucker for these types of horror movies, and Headey deftly holds the weight of the story on her shoulders.
Cindy Smith – Laid to Rest
Headey’s role in this gore driven slasher is small, but it’s a memorable one nonetheless thanks to both her performance and the character’s brutal demise. When her husband, truck driver Tucker Smith, brings home the amnesiac Princess in the middle of the night, Cindy vocally raises understandable concerns. But, like her husband, she’s a decent human being and relents with promises to go to the Sheriff’s office first thing in the morning. Too bad Tucker unwittingly lured the killer home, too. This role may be small, yet Headey proves how versatile she can be in it.
Elizabeth Clemson – Tell Tale
Based very, very loosely on Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart”, Tell Tale follows a recipient of a heart transplant whose new heart thumps him on a journey in solving the previous owner’s murder. Headey plays Elizabeth, a physician to the transplant recipient’s ailing daughter and his lover. Headey’s role is mostly relegated to peripheral, doting girlfriend type and yet she imbues the character with layers anyway. The detached doctor type, this character gives hints of cunning beneath a serene façade. Not unlike Cersei Lannister.
Sarah Connor – Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Thanks to Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Linda Hamilton left massive shoes to fill as the tough as nails yet vulnerable Sarah Connor. Headey was quite aware of the iconic status of her character, and had an uphill battle in convincing viewers she was worthy of the role. Yet she did, at least for those that watched the series. Headey cut right to the heart of the character, opting to hone in on Sarah’s single motherhood while knowing the future is precarious at best. Her resilient, strong yet sullen performance centered the show in a way she didn’t get nearly enough credit for.
Ma-Ma – Dredd
If ever Dredd were to get a follow up, it’d be difficult to top the film’s central villain Ma-Ma. A scarred drug lord that presides atop a 200-story high rise, Ma-Ma is chillingly calm and aloof despite being surrounded by brutal violence. Then again, she’s often the cause of that violence. The backstory behind her scars sets up all you need to know about this compelling, merciless antagonist. Headey drew inspiration for her performance from punk singer Patti Smith, and a great white shark. If that doesn’t sell you, I don’t know what will.
Mary Sandin – The Purge
The first entry in this series was a confined home invasion thriller that honed in on the Sandin household during the government-sanctioned Purge. Anchored by patriarch James (Ethan Hawke), creator of a security system company that provides safeguarded homes against unwanted Purgers, the Sandin family devolves into a mess once invaders slip past openings. James soon proves to be responsible for a lot of the family’s problems. Luckily there’s Mary, the level-headed mother/wife who provides balance and diplomacy where her husband couldn’t. She’s also not afraid to break some noses when necessary. It was Headey as Mary that earned back a lot of goodwill toward the Sandin family, and delivered one of the most cathartic moments of the film.
Lady Catherine de Bourgh – Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
Based on the Seth Grahame-Smith’s novel, which parodies Jane Austen classic Pride and Prejudice, this movie is as intentionally silly as it can be gory. Lady Catherine de Bourgh is a character of aristocracy and privilege; she’s the aunt to Mr. Darcy and disapproves of him marrying beneath his station. In this incarnation, de Bourgh also happens to be a celebrated zombie slayer. Headey flexes her deadpan muscle as the pompous and battled-hardened lady that challenges her nephew’s suitors to duels. We knew Headey can play tough, but this role also lets her sense of humor shine through that hard exterior.
Editorials
Not Another ‘Scary Movie’: Revisiting Forgotten Parody ‘Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th’
After Scream (1996) made a killing at the box office, as well as won over critics and audiences, a lot of folks in the movie biz thought they could do the same thing (and yield similar results). That thing, of course, being a slasher. Most of these opportunists wound up being pretty straightforward; they were low on humor or commentary. Yet others, like Scary Movie (2000), saw the potential for spoofing Scream, and acted on that impulse with both haste and excitement.
A few months after the Wayans’ comedy first hit theaters, Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th landed on the USA Network, as part of the channel’s “Shriek Week” programming. That straight-to-cable (then home video) destination is possibly why many people still don’t know about this one. Or they simply chose to forget. Whatever the reason, only one of these two horror parodies came out on top—and it’s certainly not the movie where Coolio channeled Prince, and Tom Arnold saved the day.
Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th previously went by the name of I Know What You Screamed Last Semester. That Trimark acquisition then settled on a wordier title, just so it could avoid the litigious wrath of Miramax Films. Folks may or may not remember that Columbia Pictures was sued over the “implied connection” between I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) and Scream. So, yeah, there was no way that this competing Scream parody wasn’t going to be kept on a tight rein.
A Heavy Reliance on Late ’90s TV References
Simon Rex, Julie Benz, Majandra Delfino, Harley Cross, Danny Strong, Tom Arnold and Tiffani-Amber Thiesen in Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th.
Naturally, there would be similarities between Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th and Scary Movie—their scripts are built on the backs of the same two movies. It goes without saying that the other big slasher of the 1990s, I Know What You Did Last Summer, was as much of a target as Scream. However,the film pads itself with more TV references than Scary Movie did.
Half the cast coming off of (and in some cases, returning to) a WB show could be a reason why. Dawson’s Creek is particularly zeroed in on, based on how there’s a central character named “Dawson Deery“, and how the teen drama’s teacher-student affair plotline is satirized to the nth degree. As if there weren’t enough nods to television, Baywatch, VH1’s Pop Up Video, and even those cheesy Mentos commercials all serve as joke prompts.
Shriek director John Blanchard and writers Sue Bailey and Joe Nelms all hailed from television, so it’s understandable that they would stick close to home. The movie’s humor in general makes more sense, in light of learning that Blanchard worked on SCTV, Kids in the Hall, and MADtv. The writers, on the other hand, were each fairly green, with Bailey being the most experienced of the two; she wrote and produced the game show BattleBots. Nevertheless, they, plus Blanchard, churned out a passable, joke-a-minute movie. The whole thing is staggeringly of its time, but no one here was aiming for longevity.
Having seen enough of these kinds of movies, we know to expect jokes of the low-hanging fruit variety. That’s the parody’s whole prime directive. From the characters having names like “Screw Frombehind” and “Doughy Primesuspect”, to stereotyping that feels taboo nowadays, this is a movie from a different era of comedy. Its coarse, corny, and unapologetic sense of humor won’t sit well with everyone in these more enlightened times. In which case, Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th can be treated as a time capsule.
Does Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th Humor Still Hold Up Today?
“You may already be a victim”—Someone receives a most peculiar threatening piece of mail in Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th.
Although Shriek doesn’t live up to its own claims of being so funny that you’ll die of laughter, its bawdier parts could still lead to some nervous laughter. For instance, after this movie’s parallel to Drew Barrymore’s Scream character is done in—not by the killer but by a bug zapper—the movie throws a newspaper next to the victim’s fresh corpse. The headline? “Popular slut killed! Football team mourns”.
We then move on to the wacky and inappropriate goings-on at Bulimia Falls High School, home of the Hurlers. At this nexus of constant absurdity, indecency, and surrealism, students are seen fornicating on the lawn, cheerleading squad applicants are advised to be comfortable with partial nudity, and terrorists openly prepare for an anthrax attack. It can be a tad jarring to watch, especially if you didn’t grow up witnessing this style of comedy firsthand. Hell, even if you did, you may still have a “what the hell were they thinking?” reaction.
It’s not just the aggressively edgy humor here that can make you chuckle—the slapstick, the sight gags, and the ribaldry all have a decent chance of landing. The movie’s own villain, whose hockey mask was instantly transformed into a crudely Ghostface-esque one after coming in contact with an open flame, commits more cheap laughs than kills. His and his victims’ chase sequences, most of which are cartoonish in nature, left this writer grinning. The Scooby-Doo fan in me also totally ate up that clever unmasking joke.
Final Thoughts on This Forgotten Horror Parody
Shriek If You Know What Did Last Friday the 13th
Now, the jury is still out on whether these comedies are to blame for the death of the first slasher revival. There is more to consider than some parodies. At the very least, the likes of Scary Movie didn’t exactly encourage big studios to put their money on a trend that was being derided to death (and not as profitable as the spoofs). These sorts of movies also felt unnecessary at the time, given how their principal inspiration is already a deconstruction of the genre. But like anything else that quickly becomes popular, mockery is unavoidable.
Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th is indeed a movie nobody asked for, much less needed. As a sample of pre-millennium humor and cultural attitudes, it’s not always precise. But as I’ve laid out, your mileage may vary. Horror parodies typically don’t have the best track record, so managing one’s own expectations here is recommended.
Upon rewatching, I for one laughed a bit more than I did back then. Only this time, I responded to the jokes that my younger self didn’t notice or find all that amusing. So it just goes to show that the movies don’t change—we do.
Harley Cross and Majandra Delfino must unmask the killer a number of times in Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th before learning their true identity.
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