Many horror fans look at the Fourth of July as merely a waypoint for Halloween. Last year’s offerings have disappeared from the discount bins and the stores haven’t yet stocked up on this year’s goodies. The Fourth of July is usually sunny and hot. Something we tend to avoid like the vamps we are. Standing over a grill will just melt our battle jacket enamel pins and make our black eyeliner run into the potato salad.
Aside from a handful of holiday-set movies, finding holiday horror themed items is fairly difficult. No limited edition, super exclusive red, white and blue striped sweater Freddy from NECA to be found anywhere. And there are no events for us to hang our fangs on. Zombie George Washington’s Hayride really should be a thing.
But look no further, fiends. The fireworks companies have had our hunched backs for ages and many of us didn’t even know it. Every year, I like to cruise the fireworks stands and see the wonderful art on the packaging and giggle and hoot at the insane names they give their sparklers, fountains, firecrackers and blow-the-sky-to-smithereens offerings. Being in California, where anything that lifts off the ground means a hefty fine, the offerings are pretty small and quaint. But go to a real state where they encourage all-out war between neighborhoods and the loss of fingers, and buddy, there is horror to be found in them hills.
Here’s a little visual of what you can see, or what you’ve missed over the past few years at your local fireworks stand.
Somebody over at Area 51 Fireworks is a big horror fan. Or at least, they know how to pry our wallets open. They offer a ton of themed fireworks, the most of any other company right now, ranging from classic monsters like Dracula and Frankenstein to today’s favorites, like Godzilla and ACK! ACK! MARS ATTACKS! Now, the fireworks, themselves, don’t rain blood or black cats, but it’s all about the packaging. And seriously, get a load of Freddy in those Minion Goggles. All the better to see that Jason bomb when you create your own sequel on your street.
TNT Fireworks also offers quite a nice range of horror goodies to blow up the front porch. Like this Texas Chainsaw and Pennywise… er… Zombie Clown, which shoots flaming balls. But just pretend they’re exploding balloons.
Other companies are no slouch when it comes to the scare factor. Check out these movie maniac inspired packages. My favorite being the “damn the licensors” Maximum Overdrive (I’ve been looking for this one, so if you can help a bud out…) and Killer Klown. And those Draculas are to die for. I’ve been looking for those for ages. That Night of the Living Dead-inspired art is still waiting for me to frame it. But be careful with that one. It aims for the head.
But for me, the ultimate thing for fireworks is the classic firecracker. The art on these are gorgeous, and often highly collectible, due to the product being so disposable. And flammable. These aren’t simply slapped together in Photoshop. These are true works of art, with some using a stone litho printing process. I lit and threw many of these into the neighbor’s yard when they were sun tanning, and wish I had the forethought to save some of these masterpieces. I was fortunate enough to find that Werewolf one many years ago, before prices went sky high.
About Shane Bitterling: Writer with 26 produced movies that I don’t often admit to and an unproduced, big one I never shut up about. Prose can be found in the horror anthology, Hell Comes to Hollywood and I talk about “ALF” a lot.
