Horror and science fiction have always been a part of the television canvas, and constant attempts have been made over the years to produce classic entertainment. Some have fallen by the wayside, while others became mainstream phenomena. With “TV Terrors,” we take a look back at the many genre efforts from the 80’s, 90’s, and 00’s, exploring some shows that became cult classics, and others that sank into obscurity.
This month, we head back to the post-Child’s Play ’90s and revisit “What a Dummy!”
- Aired from 1990 – 1991
- Aired in Fox Network Syndication
The eighties were all about cute talking mascots that reached down and touched the hearts of a domestic familial unit. Often times they were the classic nuclear family with three children. Whether it was mogwai, aliens, goblins, pet monsters, a Sasquatch, robotic children, or what have you, the decade almost always featured a movie or television series involving a normal suburban family living with an odd monster or being. By 1990, ALF had worn out his welcome, and ET mania was running on fumes, but that didn’t stop studios from trying to produce their own smart talking mascot living in domestic bliss with a hapless family.
Obviously everyone had just about run out of ideas at this point, even twisting the formula of the nuclear family, but the last gasp of the gimmick came with “What a Dummy!” Starring a teenage Stephen Dorff, Annabel Armour, and Kaye Ballard, “What a Dummy!” is centered on a small family who is mourning the death of their great uncle Jackie Brannigan. Shortly after his funeral, they inherit an antique chest from their great uncle. Said chest, of course, houses a sentient ventriloquist dummy named Buzz. Buzz (voiced by Loren Freeman), with his frizzy red hair, tacky suit and bulging eyes, belonged to Jackie, once a Vaudeville performer and expert ventriloquist.
You’d think this would be a great set up for a horror movie, but no, this is a family based television sitcom. Buzz takes a liking to the family he’s given to, and soon enough he’s meddling in their lives and causing all kinds of comedic antics. Although not horror in the strictest sense, you can imagine being a seven year old TV junkie like me and happening upon “What a Dummy!” in the middle of the day. The sitcom is absolutely baffling and bizarre, especially in the way it tries to take a ventriloquist dummy and transform him into a family friendly TV mascot. You can pin “What a Dummy!” being such a trash bag of TV entertainment on a lot of elements, but I like to think that it’s mainly the dummy who’s to blame.
There’s really just no way to argue the fact that ventriloquist dummies create genuine unease most of the time, and there’s no exception for Buzz. That’s especially true when the inadvertently creepy opening credits feature a still shot of the chest, with Buzz slowly cracking it open with his wooden hands. Whatever the mindset behind “What a Dummy!” was, it lacks a clear self awareness. The closest we get on that front is when Dorff taunts brother Cory by warning that the chest might be a gateway to hell. Alas, the show never provides a ton of insight into the mechanics and physiology of Buzz, as the writers spend a lot of the time on sitcom clichés.
Dorff is the rebellious oldest brother Tucker, who deals with Buzz alongside his younger brother Cory, and their wise cracking little sister Maggie. The budget for “What a Dummy!” is noticeably small, so much of the set pieces are limited, while Buzz (mostly stationary save for his head) appears in various places around the house with not a lot of notice. One moment he’ll be sitting at a piano bench, the next he’s on a couch, and then he’ll be at the kitchen dinner table gazing at everyone with his bulbous eyes and cracking wise. Does he walk? Does he teleport? Does he commune with other ancient artifacts and plan to consume the body of Tucker?
As a sitcom it’s incredibly formulaic and the jokes are stale even for 1990 as the writers are never ashamed to rely on word play, puns, and overplaying Janna Michaels’ cutesiness. There isn’t a lot of literature or press on “What a Dummy!” as the sitcom played in the middle of the day during the weekends, but there is a popular rumor that Kaye Ballard regretted co-starring in the series. Surprisingly it lasted twenty four whole episodes, and was inevitably cancelled and almost immediately faded into obscurity.
Although it is god awful, you have to appreciate the balls of the producers trying to turn a ventriloquist dummy into a family friendly sitcom character. It’s not talked about very much these days, even by huge nineties nostalgia buffs, but it’s quite the television oddity that has to be seen to be believed.
Is It On DVD/Blu-Ray? Absolutely not. In fact, it’s very hard to find episodes of “What a Dummy!” online, in any kind of format. Even with Stephen Dorff’s name behind it, there isn’t a single episode on VHS, DVD, Blu-ray or streaming. Maybe someday someone will find a cache of episodes buried in a parking lot and release them for public consumption.