Editorials
8 of the Best Christmas-Themed Episodes of Horror Television
Christmas is the time of year that everyone gathers around the TV and partakes in wacky Christmas capers or sickly-sweet Christmas romance (I think some people worship and spend time with loved ones, but I was raised Jewish. We went to the movies and watched TV). Personally, I never got into Christmas movies (probably the aforementioned Jewish thing), but it could be because they are all about emotion and not enough killing.
To combat that, I have selected some of my top Christmas episodes from horror television!
Some may contain a healthy dose of heartwarming capering, but only after a thick coat of Christmas blood…
The X-Files – “How the Ghosts Stole Christmas”
This Christmas classic sees Mulder luring Scully into a ghost hunt on Christmas Eve. According to his tale, a pair of lovers killed themselves in the house so they could be together forever, and they return on Christmas Eve to lure in lovers – or platonic partners – to join their ghastly ranks. Lily Tomlin and Ed Asner are unforgettable as the ghostly lovers, and the episode ends with Scully showing up at Mulder’s apartment in the middle of the night to exchange Christmas presents. Like platonic partners do.
Dexter – “Truth Be Told”
Dexter isn’t the kind of show that makes a big deal out of Christmas, but in this first season episode, the season’s serial killer (the one who isn’t Dexter) does make a big deal out of the season. The Ice Truck Killer hums Christmas carols while wrapping body parts with festive ribbons, then he leaves them amongst gifts beneath a Christmas tree in a holiday display. Santa got my letter!
Grimm – “The Twelve Days of Krampus”
There is a rash of hooligans stealing Christmas gifts in Seattle. This sounds like a job for Krampus! As with traditional folklore, Krampus beats hooligans with sticks, carries them away in his sack, and hangs them from the tallest tree in the forest, to be eaten on the Solstice. In Grimm, Krampus (Derek Mears) turns out to be a fairytale monster just a few days a year – then he returns to being an average, middle-aged man who blacks out for most of December.
American Horror Story: Asylum – “Unholy Night”
AHS is a fucked up show, and their Christmas episode is no exception. The focus is on Leigh, played gleefully evil by Ian McShane. He was sent to jail for petty theft, and while there, was raped by five other inmates while a guard stood nearby, humming Christmas carols. When Leigh was finally released from prison, he shot a corner Santa, stole his costume, and went on a Christmas Eve killing spree, murdering eighteen people from five different families over the course of one night. While at the Briarcliff Asylum, Lee goes crazy during the Christmas party and rips out an orderly’s throat with his teeth. This earns him time in the hole, and for the next Christmas party, with the evil Sister Mary Eunice in charge, things go from bad to bloody.
Supernatural – “A Very Supernatural Christmas”
In the only true Christmas episode of the long-running show, “A Very Supernatural Christmas” actually opens with the logo that used to denote “very special” episodes. People are disappearing around Christmastime, and witnesses claim to see them disappearing up the chimney. Sam first theorizes that it is an “anti-Claus,” Santa’s shady brother. Then they discover they are dealing with a Pagan god who is drawn to a plant called meadowsweet, which is used in specialty wreaths. Naturally, the only way to kill it is with the most Christmasy of weapons: an evergreen stake. The Winchester brothers kill the god with a Christmas tree.
Tales From the Crypt – “And All Through the House”
This early episode of Tales From the Crypt opens with a woman killing her husband with a fireplace poker on Christmas Eve. She is busy trying to get rid of the body when an escaped mental patient – dressed in a Santa costume – shows up, looking for more victims. The woman narrowly avoids getting her head chopped off by slicing up Santa’s face with an icicle and knocking him unconscious with his own axe. She finally thinks she is safe… but her daughter has seen Santa climbing up the outside of the house and, well, she has to help Santa….
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina – “Chapter Eleven: A Midwinter’s Tale”
The Spellman family celebrates Winter Solstice, not Christmas, but since everything about Christmas is taken from Pagan myths, they are practically the same thing. Rather than the traditional Krampus as the horror Christmas monster, Sabrina goes with Bartel, a different version of Krampus, who steals the souls of children and seals them in wax figures. We also meet the Yule Lads, ghosts of Icelandic folklore who haunt the Spellman family. They summon the Lads’ mother, Gryla, via séance, to collect them, and along the way she fights Bartel.
Tales From the Darkside – “Seasons of Belief”
Instead of a tale about goodwill towards men, a pair of parents tell their children the story of the Grither. He lives near Santa in a cold, wet cave and above all else, you must never utter his name. Saying his name causes the Grither’s ears to double in size, making it easier to hunt you down and eat you. He even has his own song. The kids are certain the tale is false, yet they are still scared, and the parents taunt them, speculating that the Grither is drawing ever closer. There is a knock at the door, terrifying the children – but it is just Uncle Mike. The door opens again, this time from the wind, according to mother… but then big, powerful arms grab at the parents. The Grither is here. Beware the Grither.
Editorials
Forgotten ’80s Satanic Panic Horror Gem ‘The Kiss’ Is Worth Rediscovering
Horror was thriving so well in the 1980s that movies like Pen Densham’s The Kiss (1988) would understandably get lost in the shuffle, only to then gain their fans later on in life. Even still, this one Canadian-American curio has had a more challenging time than others, as far as contemporary reevaluations go, which is very likely due to the movie’s limited availability—at least as of this write-up.
However, the scarceness of The Kiss, while a bit annoying, makes it like catnip for ‘80s horror completists everywhere. Hopefully, a lot of them will walk away satisfied after watching this hidden gem.
Even though The Kiss was intended as the first of several horror collaborations between Astral Pictures and TriStar, as well as the first feature produced by Densham, Richard B. Lewis and John Watson’s Trilogy Entertainment Group, it ended up being the only one produced from that former union. Once the movie was released, TriStar’s distribution jitters—they opted for a regional rollout—did the $6-million flick no favors. TriStar’s cold feet toward horror releases have been well noted, but The Kiss still did a tad better than Night of the Creeps (1986), another genre outing that flopped due to its regional opening.
Shot in Montreal, but set in Albany, New York, The Kiss—which was still called The Host just a few months before its October premiere—concerns an average middle-class family and their forthcoming situation. The uncanny problem in store for them was, in fact, set in motion some years earlier. As that hot and dusty flashback to the Belgian Congo shows, a familial curse was set upon the two Dunbar sisters well before Meredith Salenger’s teenage character was born.

Meredith Salenger, Nicholas Kilbertus and Mimi Kuzyk in The Kiss
The Kiss, which was based on a story by co-writer Stephen Volk (Ghostwatch) and penned by both Volk and Tom Ropelewski, has the outward appearance of The Stepfather (1987). This movie, though, is anything but a gender-flipped retread of that classic domestic disturber. For starters, The Kiss is far less grounded in reality—that much is clear from its unsettling opening scene. There, a trusting girl (Priscilla Mouzakiotis) is the victim of her own deceptive aunt (Céline Lomez); the movie’s titular act, and the story’s first shock, becomes the means of transferring an ancient evil from one host to another.
In the present day, Salenger’s role of Amy Halloran, a religious schoolgirl, is dealt a harsh blow in life once her mother, Hilary Halloran née Dunbar (Pamela Collyer), suddenly dies in a freak accident. But rather than a complete stranger sweeping the Halloran widower (Nicholas Kilbertus) off his feet some months later, Joanna Pacula’s character is that chosen temptress. Here, Pacula plays the grown-up version of the afflicted girl last seen in the movie’s opener. Since Amy’s mother is insistent about there being no reunion between estranged sisters, and she even contemplates buying a gun shortly before her tragic demise, it’s presumable that Aunt Felice poses a threat to her family.
The Kiss isn’t a movie ever too concerned about its own predictability. The audience is indeed often one step ahead of the story here, but also keep in mind how every one of those steps is loud. Take, for instance, the death of Amy’s mother; the Halloran matriarch goes out in garish, gruesome fashion, as a supernaturally commandeered truck sends Collyer’s character through a store window first, then leaves her one leg short. The directorial enthusiasm truly comes out in horrific moments such as these.
The Kiss is always sure to revel in its characters’ ills and misfortunes. So if the plot doesn’t impress, then its lurid parts should. Amy’s mother’s exit scene was proof of an eager, first-time horror director proving his worth. Then, bestie Heather (Sabrina Boudot) survives to tell the tale of a bizarre escalator mishap that, despite showing relatively less gore, spikes viewers’ empathy meter. The wilder bits of this movie, however, commence with that inevitable hookup between Felice and Amy’s bewitched father; their kitchen coitus is paralleled by Amy’s feverish classroom terror. The outcome there is a disquieting cross-cut of sex magic and a young woman’s menstrual onset plus hallucinations.

Sabrina Boudot in The Kiss
From foam appliances to bladders, that parade of special effects in The Kiss casts its own spell on the audience. Felice’s familiar, a visibly malevolent cat, was realized here with several models, some more articulate than others. Admittedly, the demon cat’s not as convincing as most of the effects here, but accepting that artifice, as opposed to fighting it, will make the whole experience way more enjoyable. As for the makeup used to manifest Felice’s inner villainy, it is more minimal and subtle than one might like; yet the work done to turn Pacula into an antithesis of herself is nonetheless compelling.
The otherworldly perils and dreadful goings-on wouldn’t work half as well as they do in The Kiss without the story’s contrast effect. Finding frights in picturesque, extremely ordinary settings was something that took off in the ‘80s, thanks to that sweeping shift to locales like the suburbs. And Amy’s home, a replica of a real Montreal suburban house, is the ideal battleground for any proper good-versus-evil story. It’s also prime real estate for this movie’s satanic panic-inspired horrors.
Because of their ostensibly similar plots, The Kiss has been compared to The Exorcist (1973). Except in Densham’s movie, the sinister, non-Christian entity targeting a teen girl lies within something less apparent and, perhaps, more devastating upon its exposure. To an outsider, Pacula’s Aunt Felice is too beautiful and unobjectionable to ever suspect of being a monster. More suspicious is how quickly she rips into the fabric of the Halloran home. Felice’s mere presence upsets the “texture of family life,” according to the director.

The demon cat in The Kiss
Taking out Amy’s mother and best friend, and distracting her father, would suggest The Kiss is playing by a different set of rules. It is initially leaving its adolescent target unsupported in a rather grim scenario. In contrast, though, this story offers up a surrogate parent who does her best to fill in the holes of Amy’s eroding home life. Mimi Kuzyk does good work as that family friend and doctor, Brenda, who guides the lost child without also steering her in any one direction; she is naturally skeptical of Amy’s accusations until it’s almost too late to do anything about them. So although The Kiss does an admirable job of undoing the main character’s support system, it never leaves her without a lifeline. This dark movie, in spite of everything that’s transpired, doesn’t deprive itself of light and hope.
The Kiss is a potent mélange of familiar ideas. If not for the director’s surprise flair for horror, though, the movie would have been less effective. What a shame that Pen Densham didn’t continue with the genre. As for Joanna Pacula, she is, too, owed credit as the wicked vixen opposite Meredith Salenger’s pitiable Amy; she never fails to be unsettling in her role. Pacula makes Aunt Felice a sexy yet intimidating character.
For horror that steadily doles out madness and menace, while also delivering a flashy and ghastly conclusion, The Kiss is certain to please. Yes, it’s cheesy all the way, but most favorably, everyone involved plays everything straight. That kind of commitment goes a long way with this movie.

The Kiss








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