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Editorials

Love Sick: 8 of Horror’s Most Twisted and Repulsive Romances

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romantic horror dead alive

Sick of love? Consider this the Anti-Valentine’s Day round-up of horror movies guaranteed to put you off romance for a while. The lovesick characters featured here push well past healthy boundaries into squeamish and taboo-breaking territory.

The polar opposite of relationship goals, these eight movies offer some of the most twisted and diseased explorations of “love” you’ll ever find within the horror genre.

Happy Valentine’s Day…


SLiTHER

Starla and Grant monster in Slither

Grant and Starla’s relatively happy marriage ended when an extraterrestrial parasite found its way into Grant’s body, taking over. As Grant helped spread the parasite across town, creating an army of mutated residents, he clung to his love of Starla. So much so that he, now an amorphous creature, builds a nest and attempts to seduce his wife. While there’s a charmingly pure sentiment buried underneath the grotesque thing that Grant has become, it’s played for maximum gross-out laughs. Nothing like a slimy, slug-like entity to dissolve a marriage.


Crimson Peak

Lucille and Thomas in Crimson Peak

When Edith married Thomas, she knew that meant relocating to a dilapidated mansion far from home. She didn’t realize that the place is filled with the ghosts of Thomas and his sister’s past victims or that the siblings’ relationship isn’t normal or healthy. Edith finds herself piecing together the family’s history as she becomes the next target, leading to some icky revelations about her new husband. While Crimson Peak is far from the first horror, or horror adjacent, movie to feature incest, it’s more covertly buried within a gorgeous Gothic romance that builds to an unhinged finale.


Bite

Bug woman holds romantic rival hostage in cocoon in BITE

Love triangles are tired, but love triangles with gross-out body horror is a different story. Before her wedding, Casey enjoys a bachelorette trip with her best friends in Costa Rica. Worried about her pending nuptials, she doesn’t pay any attention to a strange bug bite. Once home, however, that bug bite causes bizarre body changes. As she transforms into an insect-like creature with murderous impulses, it coincides with reveals about her friendships and fiancé that lead to a gruesome implosion of Casey’s life as she once knew it. It’s a love triangle nestled in a nest of bug eggs and body horror.


Dead Alive

Dead Alive, aka Braindead, may be centered around Lionel and Paquita’s love story, but a secondary love story threatens to steal the spotlight. After Father “I kick ass for the Lord” McGruder succumbs to a zombie bite and gets locked away in Lionel’s basement with other zombies, he finds undead love with Nurse McTavish. Attraction leads to gnawed faces in a moment of heightened passion, which leads to zombie copulation. Their love bore fruit in the form of one rambunctious zombie baby. Undead mom and dad prove to be better lovers than parents. Leave it to Peter Jackson to go full throttle on the splatstick romance, covering every possible angle.


The Skin I Live In

The Skin I Live In

Dr. Robert Lesgard is a renowned surgeon working on break-through synthetic skin. He’s also obsessed with his test subject, a woman named Vera, that he keeps locked in a room. Vera looks a lot like his deceased wife, Gal, which only fuels his fixation. The more his obsession grows, the more he’s haunted by memories of his daughter, who committed suicide after a long tenure at a mental facility post-sexual assault by a man named Vincente. Robert’s fixation appears to be of the unhealthy romantic sort until the connection between Vera and Vincente becomes disturbingly clear. Romance proves to be a guise for an even darker tale of skin-crawling revenge.


Beyond the Darkness

Beyond the Darkness

Anna dies from a mysterious illness that, unbeknownst to her fiancé Frank, is a voodoo curse placed on her by Frank’s jealous housekeeper Iris. So beside himself with grief, Frank decides to taxidermize her to keep her with him forever. It’s gory and gross, as expected by director Joe D’Amato (of Video Nasty Anthropophagus fame), and only gets weirder as the story progresses. There’s unsettling erotic breastfeeding, hacked up victims are dissolved in acid baths, and Frank even gets a little cannibalistic when victims don’t appreciate Anna’s preserved body. Sometimes losing the one you love can drive you insane, but Frank takes it to a whole new, twisted level.


Meatball Machine

From the special effects artist, Yoshihiro Nishimura, who handled the insane gore effects from Tokyo Gore Police and The Machine Girl, this wacky Japanese sci-fi splatter film centers around the love story between Yoji and Sachiko. Yoji is a shy factory worker with an unrequited crush on co-worker Sachiko. When he discovers Sachiko being sexually assaulted by another co-worker, his attempt to save her ends in dismal failure, but it’s the effort that counts, and she ends up going home with him. But Yoji’s been hiding a strange alien insect in his apartment, and the thing merges with Sachiko, turning her into a bio-mechanical monster. When Yoji is also infected, the two would-be lovers are forced to fight to the death. Yoji and Sachiko’s star-crossed love story delivers over the top ridiculous gore, violence, and sensory overload.


Deadgirl

As controversial as it is disconcerting, Deadgirl removes any semblance of a protagonist here as its two leads descend into increasing depravity. High school seniors Rickie and J.T. cut class one day and decide to explore an abandoned facility, where they find a naked woman chained to a table in the basement. J.T. wastes no time taking advantage and deduces she’s unable to die after attempting to murder her three times. From there, he proceeds to defile and assault her in every way, even bringing in a new pal to join in; and Rickie struggles with the morality of the acts while pining away for his long-time crush, Joann. As Rickie’s attempts to woo Joann grow less noble and more dangerous, well, don’t expect a happy ending for anyone. Deadgirl is an unpleasant and confrontational watch, and that’s by design.

Horror journalist, RT Top Critic, and Critics Choice Association member. Has appeared on PBS series' Monstrum, served on the SXSW Midnighter shorts jury, and moderated horror panels for WonderCon, SeriesFest, and Popcorn Frights Film Fest.

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Editorials

Neon-Soaked Cult Classic ‘Vamp’ Starring Grace Jones Still Has Bite 40 Years Later

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Vamp 1986
Grace Jones and Dedee Pfeiffer in Vamp

College kids, strippers and vampires—those were Donald P. Borchers’ only requirements when he approached Richard Wenk about writing and directing a movie for New World Pictures. As requested, Wenk cooked up Vamp (1986), a tailor-made blend of the decade’s teen movie craze as well as its horror boom.

Grim and earnest stories were still very much a part of the ’80s horror landscape, yet Vamp is something of a comedy. One difference between it and, say, Saturday the 14th, though, is the former avoids using schtick. Wenk’s movie proves that horror comedies also don’t have to subtract thrills from their recipes. Of course, it takes a minute before reaching that point; college antics and culture shocks preface this one macabre misadventure.

Vamp‘s initial setup is apt for a typical college-set, sex-driven comedy; to bribe their way into a fraternity house, two pledges (Chris Makepeace, Robert Rusler) go looking for some adult entertainment. Without wasting time on any further exposition, the characters embark on an all-in-one-night trip that quickly detours into terror.

To procure their elusive MacGuffin—a stripper willing to gyrate for some frat boys—Keith (Makepeace) and AJ (Rusler), plus a third wheel named Duncan (Gedee Watanabe), trade the safety of their remote college campus for the seediness of some unnamed city. The setting is recognizably L.A. by day, but as soon as night falls, downtown, along with the characters, slips into a kind of surreal universe. Director of photography Elliot Davis gave this early entry on his prolific résumé an unusual yet distinctive look; that Mario Bava-esque, magenta-green lighting is omnipresent, so much so that it’s almost its own character. 

vamp

Chris Makepeace and Robert Rusler in Vamp

The faint comparisons to Martin Scorsese’s After Hours are merited, although not just because of Vamp’s distinguishing nighttime aesthetic. Save for the primary characters, the supporting roles in Wenk’s movie are also quite colorful and transactional in their behavior. The difference here, though, is the additional urge to ruin Keith and his friends at every turn. Some of that harm is humorous and tolerable enough, whereas the moment Vamp dishes out its first fatality, it’s abundantly clear how this movie qualifies as horror.

Vamp falls into that category of horror movie that reveals its genre with a scream rather than a series of whispers. The opening scene can function as a hint of what lies ahead—things are not at all what they appear to be—but otherwise, Wenk is more than happy to hold off on the horror. When that time does come, though, it catches the viewer off guard. In addition to the pure shock value is that sudden decision to upend the movie’s foremost feature. Or so it would seem.

If afraid of major spoilage, those new to Vamp would be wise to stop reading here. There’s just no skirting around the fact that the central fellowship in this buddy movie hits a serious snag when AJ is killed. That development causes the story to become more of a “long, bad night” journey for Keith and his romantic interest. So while Wenk scores points for subverting expectations, there is also a touch of sadness in his decision. Because if Vamp does anything well, it’s making the characters likable.

Something that comes easily to Vamp—and other teen horror movies from this same era—is its ability to invent young characters worth caring about, or at the very least, are interesting and not so immediately off-putting. More impressive is how Wenk did all this without actually fleshing out those characters. Still and all, Keith and his kind are a grade above cookie-cutter, and in some cases, aren’t completely devoid of growth.

vamp

Grace Jones in Vamp

Vamp appeals with an assorted cast of characters. No two are the same, nor are they operating on the same wavelength. The cinematically extroverted AJ, whose actor conveyed charm and vulnerability in near equal amounts, comes alive when he’s at his most undead. Makepeace then makes the chronically cautious Keith a sympathetic fellow, even as he’s more and more affected by the night’s bizarre events. Meanwhile, Duncan is indeed the designated loser of the whole bunch, but Watanabe still manages to humanize him. As a bonus, the role didn’t require him to pull a Long Duk Dong.

As for Dedee Pfeiffer, she is plain adorable as the mysterious After Dark server nicknamed “Amaretto”. She spends all night fixing her dress strap while at the same time trying to get Keith to remember how he knows her. As their offbeat romance grows, it becomes another highlight of this movie. Whether or not Pfeiffer’s character is really a vampire also creates some welcome tension in the story.

Like a lot of its contemporaries, Vamp went on to become a bit of a cult classic. That current status is determined by several factors, but without a doubt, the casting of Grace Jones is the most considerable. The image of her writhing on that unique-looking chair, a Keith Haring original, springs to mind whenever this movie is brought up.

vamp

Chris Makepeace, Billy Drago and Paunita Nichols in Vamp

Prior to that first display of unequivocal horror, local vampire queen Katrina (Jones) took to the stage and delivered a strip show like no other. One would expect nothing less from that renowned model and performance artist. By now reports of Jones’ tardiness on set are no secret, yet it’s also hard to deny her commitment to the part of Katrina. It was, in fact, Jones who took charge of her character’s appearance—on top of Haring painting her body and that now-iconic chair, she had Andy Warhol handle her costuming. And not too many actors could seize a room’s attention without saying a single line of dialogue.

In 2022, Vamp received a retrospective novelization from Encyclopocalypse. This literary union of preexisting source material—Wenk’s original screenplay—and new ideas from author Christian Francis amounts to a more comprehensive visit to the After Dark Club. The basic story there is no different than what’s shown on screen; however, Francis gets creative with the characters’ origins and designs, and he enhances a number of key scenes.

The novelization expands on the urban and social decay of the main setting, and supplies a background for the After Dark Club. Sandy Baron’s character, Katrina’s emcee and familiar, is given ample motivation for sticking around; up until the fiery end, he is loyal to his friend and former business partnerSqueak, who looks like he wasfed through a combine harvester, and left as nothing more than a heap of mangled remains. Then there is Billy Drago’s character Snow, the leader of a street gang called The Dragons. His reason for menacing Keith and AJ is more altruistic than in the movie; he and his peers act tough to scare off any potential food for the vampires. 

vamp

Lisa Lyon in Vamp

If not for all the backstories, Francis’ Vamp would be a hell of a lot shorter. Instead, this tie-in read dives into how AJ met Keith—the orphaned Anthony Joseph hailed from a broken home back in Brooklyn—and how their friendship flourished over the years. Keith’s archership is no longer just an assumed part of his entire being; it’s a confidence-building extracurricular for a boy who got picked on before coming into the protection of the new kid in town. These supplemental, in-depth looks at the protagonists, plus their close connection, are maybe unnecessary. The movie already did a fair and concise job of addressing their platonic intimacy without the need for flashbacks and insights, specifically in that scene where AJ lays it all out as he sacrifices himself.

Where the novelization gets off course is its approach to the minor characters. Intermittently backstorying the likes of Katrina’s indentured servants, Seko (Leila Hee Olsen) and Vlad (Brad Logan), ends up disturbing the flow of the writing. Was it absolutely essential that readers know Vlad was the Grand Duke of the House of Romanov, or how Snow’s accomplice Maven (Paunita Nichols) became so dentally challenged? No, not really. However, one’s mileage with these random biographies may vary.

The novelization is a more substantial experience, but for a movie like Vamp, less is more. And as plentiful as they are, it never simply coasts on its campy charms, either. The character work sits comfortably in that realm between cursory and meticulous, the script is sharper than first realized, and Greg Cannom’s vampire makeup is straightforward yet effective. Most of all, the movie didn’t squander its out-of-the-box concept. Richard Wenk made his vision of acomic nightmare in which just about anything that can go wrong doescome true, and it is very enjoyable.

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