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When Horror Gets Weird: 10 Horror Movies About Killer Inanimate Objects

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'The Mangler'

Horror streamer Shudder unleashes its newest horror-comedy, Slaxx, on March 18. The gory and absurd slasher features a pair of designer jeans as the bloodthirsty killer. While locked inside a trendy clothing store overnight to prepare for a huge event to unveil a new line, the staff fall victim to a homicidal pair of jeans. It marks the latest entry in a weird niche sub-genre dedicated to inanimate objects that spring to life and embark on a murder spree.

Horror leaves no corner unexplored, infusing fear into anything and everything, including items you’d never even consider as a source of terror. From flesh-hungry beds to homicidal dolls, a subset that’s developed its own corner of horror, films have created killers out of just about everything. Whether played for laughs or straightforward chills, it’s easy to see why this particular sub-category has legs; killer inanimate objects tend to deliver ruthlessly creative on-screen deaths.

Here are ten of the best…


In Fabric

Slaxx isn’t the only cursed clothing to grace the horror genre. Peter Strickland’s peculiar In Fabric follows a cursed dress as it passes from person to person. Each time, the dress causes tragedy for its owner, and often in gruesome ways. Highly stylized, In Fabric is a more artful approach to consumerist satire. In other words, it takes some very unexpected directions and features disturbing scenes behind the dress’s origins. The evil extends beyond a single dress. 


Rubber

Rubber (Magnet)

Quentin Dupieux excels at satirical films that revolve around unlikely objects. His 2010 horror film follows a rogue tire named Robert. Robert suddenly springs to life in the Californian desert and discovers a psychokinetic ability. It develops a fondness for making people’s heads explode. Don’t expect an explanation for the madness that ensues, but also don’t expect this movie to take itself seriously, either. It’s purposefully odd.


Christine

John Carpenter’s memorable Stephen King adaptation saw a nerdy teen undergo a dramatic personality transformation after purchasing and bonding with his new car. There’s more than meets the eye with his Plymouth Fury, Christine. It turns out she’s got one severe jealousy streak, and she’s willing to kill anyone that would get between her and her owner. Christine is one slick killing machine. Literally.


The Mangler

Tobe Hooper takes on Stephen King’s short story about a killer laundry press. The giant piece of machinery is demonically possessed, growing more ravenous and powerful with every drop of blood spilled on it. While the equipment has an insatiable hunger for flesh, it influences victims in other exciting ways, too. Robert Englund is featured as the press’s owner. If neither Christine nor The Mangler quenched your thirst for Stephen King stories about inanimate objects, make it a marathon with The Lawnmower Man and Maximum Overdrive.


Exte

Before Bad Hair, there was Exte. Sion Sono’s Japanese horror-comedy revolves around killer hair extensions. A fetishist working as a morgue night watchman becomes obsessed with a corpse’s luxurious hair and decides to sell it to various hairdressers. The hair inflicts visions of death before killing them, and it’s up to an aspiring hairstylist to solve the curious case. Sure, hair is technically organic tissue, but it’s not supposed to behave this way- the deaths get incredibly violent.


Death Spa

Technically, it’s a pissed-off ghost responsible for the gruesome deaths in this supernatural slasher of sorts. Still, that ghost possesses her husband’s health spa. The entire facility is at her disposal, and the angry spirit gets creative when inflicting pain and suffering upon its members. Look for Ken Foree and Brenda Bakke, but mostly keep an eye out for the over-the-top deaths- the real star of this ’80s flick.


Chopping Mall

Park Plaza Mall just upgraded its security system with a trio of robots programmed to apprehend thieves with tasers and tranquilizers. A freak lightning storm puts their programming on the fritz, though, flipping their switch from detaining to slaughter on sight. That’s terrible news for the group of mall employees that decided to stay overnight in a store for some partying. The killbots find all sorts of ways to destroy their targets, including a memorable head explosion. Have a nice day!


The Lift

Malfunctioning elevators often make for harrowing scenes in cinema. Final Destination 2’s brutal kill instantly comes to mind, for example. Amsterdamned’s Dick Maas turns the concept into a full feature, where a sentient elevator unleashes its fury upon unsuspecting passengers in an office building. It will make you question stepping foot inside an elevator ever again. Maas also wrote and directed The Lift’s 2001 American remake, Down (aka The Shaft), but stick with the original.


Oculus

The Lasser Glass isn’t the first haunted or evil mirror in horror; look to 1990’s Mirror Mirror for more killer mirror mayhem. But it is the one featured in the first wide-release horror movie for Mike Flanagan, Oculus, and it’s arguably the most dangerous. Set over two different timelines, the story centers around a pair of siblings tormented by the Lasser Glass mirror brought home by their father during their childhood. The mirror influences those around it to commit unspeakable acts, which causes lasting repercussions for the siblings. The Lasser Glass is one tricky, demented object, and it has continued to appear in Flanagan’s films since its feature introduction.


Videodrome

A programmer for a local television station specializes in boundary-pushing programming. When a strange broadcast is brought to his attention, depicting what appears to be snuff footage, he orders unlicensed use while seeking out its producers. He doesn’t know that the broadcast is a trojan horse for a hidden signal that causes a fatal tumor in the viewer. That, in turn, causes bizarre hallucinations. The inanimate object here isn’t tangible like the rest, but that doesn’t make it any less compelling thanks to David Cronenberg’s vision- the body horror and hallucinogenic imagery stick with you.

Horror journalist, RT Top Critic, and Critics Choice Association member. Has appeared on PBS series' Monstrum, served on the SXSW Midnighter shorts jury, and moderated horror panels for WonderCon, SeriesFest, and Popcorn Frights Film Fest.

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Editorials

André Øvredal’s ‘Troll Hunter’ Remains One of the Best Found Footage Movies

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André Øvredal's Troll Hunter

In this day and age, the wordtrollis often used to describe various online nuisances. Yet as abundant and irksome as the modern troll can be, they aren’t usually as fearsome as their mythological counterparts. I’m not talking about the small and gentler versions that have become more common to see in media. No, there are much bigger and scarier trolls out there—and André Øvredal’s movie Troll Hunter is one of the best places to find them.

It doesn’t take long for Troll Hunter (or Trolljegeren) to dump the Blair Witch Project-esque setup and aim for something a lot fresher. The trajectory of the story is augmented by Otto Jespersen’s character Hans, the titular Troll Hunter. The second he comes barreling out of the deep, dark woods and shoutstrollat the camera, this movie takes a turn into what feels like uncharted territory. Not only subject-wise, but also conceptually.

For fantastical and made-up subject matter in cinema, found footage is a fast way to add a guise of believability. After all, what we accept to be the most crucial aspect of documentaries—the truth—rubs off on pseudo-documentaries, despite our understanding of the pretense involved. That is what Øvredal delivered with Troll Hunter: a movie so convincing that some viewers wondered if trolls really do exist. So, had this been straightforwardly made, it likely wouldn’t have been as effective. Conventional narratives would be more inclined to treat something like trolls as flat out unreal, and never try to convince the audience to think otherwise.

troll hunter

Hans petrifies the three-headed Tusseladd troll.

The viewers, like the characters trailing Hans, are quickly thrown into the deeper end of that extraordinary story. They have to process all this new information while staying on the go. So, although there is no significant amount of meandering, narratively or physically, there is still a good amount of atmosphere, not to mention tension building. It’s never anything frightful, but then again, Troll Hunter isn’t your standard offering of horror; it’s more on the low end of the dark fantasy spectrum. We aren’t ever spirited away to a faraway world—we stay in rather familiar surroundings, as well as dip into those less so. The outcome is a movie where you’re constantly more in awe than in terror.

As fantasy fiction might do, Troll Hunter prefers not to deal with incredulity. There is no time to waste on doubt, as interviewer Thomas (Glenn Erland Tosterud), soundperson Johanna (Johanna Mørck), and cameraman Kalle (Tomas Alf Larsen) all follow Hans around, recording whatever this character is willing to reveal about his bizarre job. Of course, the Troll Hunter himself is not an open book; in that respect, the diegetic documentary fails to fully capture and unpack the more interesting of its two subjects. Yes, all those giant, monstrous trolls are indeed incredible, but understandably, your mind wanders to their pursuer. What kind of person signs up for this gig and then chooses to stick with it for so long?

Reviews have called out Troll Hunter for its lack of character development. In regard to Thomas and his fellow documentarians, that criticism is valid, but bear in mind, they aren’t the focus of the story, either. Meanwhile, Hans is a well-crafted character. At least better than first realized. Before he was introduced, Hans had already grown tired of the troll grind. Fed up with that low compensation for his services, resentful of the bureaucracy, and wanting to expose his employer on a large scale, Hans’ discontent is glaring.

Then there are those finer details about the Troll Hunter, such as that indifference to both the natural splendor of his everyday surroundings and the affections of an obviously smitten colleague, that also suggest some level of despondency. So it is fair to say this movie doesn’t feature any sizable growth for its characters; however, the namesake isn’t underwritten. No doubt, putting a real-life character like Otto Jespersen in that role is partly why Hans is so fascinating—maybe even relatable.

Troll Hunter

Otto Jespersen as Hans the Troll Hunter.

There is always a small risk whenever using the termmockumentaryto describe a found-footage movie, as the word could imply humor where there is none. In the case of Troll Hunter, the term’s usage is appropriate. Some folks have claimed the English-dubbed version has the more comedic tone, however, the Norwegian cut isn’t exactly humorless. Apart from the trolls’ absurd appearances, this is a movie where the characters nearly choke on the monsters’ farts, and Christians are like walking targets. Hans’ complete apathy towards everything is another cause of laughter. Overall, the comedy is intentionally dry and inconsistent. Unfunny, though? Absolutely not.

In a movie where endemic creatures are maltreated, as well as disavowed from living freely and peacefully, it’s hard not to notice the ecological message buried beneath the story. In addition to that is the unmistakable political satire. There is this whole business about intrusive and unsightly power lines—like trolls, they’re big blemishes on the land—that leads to what is perhaps the movie’s funniest moment. The scene in question is that one where certain electric lines, the ones secretly being used to keep the trolls at bay, go in a loop and don’t actually send power to any residents. Yet the monitors of said lines don’t find this at all weird. So it stands to reason that Øvredal was having a go at those who accept the government’s doings without question.

Looking past the fact that trolls aren’t actually real, this movie is an enlightening source of information. And not just for international audiences; Norwegians, too, get schooled about their homeland’s own mythology. It’s also evident from everything on screen that Øvredal and his crew were enthusiastic about the topic. The creature designs are the most indicative of that zeal; those imaginative yet myth-accurate manifestations are equally amusing and grotesque. One second you’re laughing at their phallic noses, the next you’re white-knuckling during a hairy sequence. Most surprisingly is how well the trolls’ visual effects hold up after fifteen years. It’s not all spotless, but on the whole, they remain impressive.

Vouching for a mockumentary about trolls isn’t easy, but those who do come around and give it a shot will more than likely be grateful for the recommendation. For Troll Hunter is a real find in that vast and varied genre we callfound footage.

troll hunter

A bridge troll reaches up for food and finds Hans decked out in armor.

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