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‘M3GAN’ and Six More of the Most Memorable Killer Androids in Horror

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Killer Androids

Killer machines are a narrative trope about as old as machinery itself, but there’s something especially creepy about metallic killers when they’re roughly human-shaped. And as we’ve seen with the success of Blumhouse’s insanely popular M3GAN, the uncanny valley can still go a long way when it comes to attracting modern audiences.

With that in mind, we’ve decided to celebrate the home release of M3GAN with a list of six other memorable killer androids in horror movies. After all, these man-made movie monsters evolved alongside Hollywood’s understanding of technology, so we’ve seen some pretty interesting homicidal automatons over the years.

Obviously, this list is based on personal opinion, but we’ll still be following a couple of rules. First of all, we’ll be excluding cyborgs from the list, as their human bits make them a completely different kind of character. Second, we’ll only be including one robot per franchise. And though he’s not actually featured here, I’d also like to give a shout-out to Lars Klevberg’s underrated reinvention of Chucky, who only didn’t make it onto the list because he’s not the character’s most recognizable form.

With that out of the way, don’t forget to comment below with your own favorite robot killers if you think we missed an important one.

Now, onto the list…


6. Silver Shamrock Androids (Halloween III)

The black sheep of the Halloween franchise, Tommy Lee Wallace’s H3 may not be a slasher flick, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have imposing stalkers pursuing our protagonists. Of course, instead of a masked bogeyman, this strange example of pagan horror features pumpkin-filled automatons that pursue Tom Atkins as he attempts to uncover the secrets of the Silver Shamrock company.

The Androids’ squash-like innards and goofy origins mean that they’re hard to take completely seriously, but when you couple them with that iconic John Carpenter score, you’ve got a memorable group of robotic villains on your hands.


5. Killbots (Chopping Mall)

Killer Androids chopping mall

Long before Paul Blart, Jim Wynorski gifted audiences with the true definitive mall-cop movie in the form of Chopping Mall. Chronicling the plight of a group of teenage employees who become the target of the mall’s new high-tech security system, the film introduced the world to a trio of lovable killer robots that look like Johnny 5’s militarized cousins.

Of course, this is a Roger Corman production, so the “Killbots” aren’t exactly brought to life by big budget effects work, but their janky movements and haphazard appearance actually helps with the film’s lo-fi charms. I just hope the proposed remake doesn’t stray too far from this silly premise…


4. The Gunslinger (Westworld)

Killer Androids westworld

While it’s kind of a prototype for Michael Crichton’s later Jurassic Park, 1973’s Westworld was a rare case of an author managing to write and direct an original movie for the big screen without churning out a massive flop. Depicting a high-tech amusement park populated by near-sentient androids, the film chronicles the mayhem that ensues once a robotic Gunslinger begins to malfunction.

Played to perfection by Yul Brynner, the nameless Gunslinger is the clear highlight of the movie, pursuing our protagonists like an 1800s-styled Terminator and looking cool while doing it. However, the flick is also remembered for featuring the first use of digital image processing on film, with the murderous android’s POV shots being painstakingly pixelized by early 70s computers.


3. David (Prometheus / Alien Covenant)

PROMETHEUS | via FOX

Ridley Scott’s Alien spin-offs may get a lot of flack for undoing much of the eldritch mystery that made that original film so captivating in the first place, but even the biggest haters have to admit that the British director was onto something when he cast Michael Fassbender as the charming David.

A lifelike android created by Peter Weyland, David’s quest to find meaning as his human companions face literal gods and monsters is honestly more compelling than any of the movie’s xenomorph-related shenanigans, harkening back to the plight of the Replicants in Scott’s Blade Runner. Of course, this doesn’t mean David isn’t above systematic murder and horrific science experiments, which is precisely why he ranks so high on this list.


2. T-800 (The Terminator)

Killer Androids terminator

You can’t discuss killer robots without bringing up The Terminator, so it should come as no surprise that this futuristic killing machine places near the top of our list. Allegedly inspired by a nightmare about a flaming skeleton (with a backstory likely influenced by an episode of The Outer Limits), the T-800 remains one of the best fusions of sci-fi and horror.

While half of the android’s memorability comes from a chilling performance by Arnold Schwarzenegger, the other half is due to the amazing design and effects work courtesy of the late great Stan Winston. And as Kyle Reese would say: “It can’t be bargained with, it can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity or remorse or fear and it absolutely will not stop… ever.”

Now that’s a good villain!


1. M.A.R.K. 13 (Hardware)

This is what you want, this is what you get!

While the movie’s origins are the subject of some controversy due to the script’s undeniable similarities to a 2000 AD spin-off comic, Hardware remains one of the best killer robot movies of all time. Sure, it’s a little too deliberately paced for some viewers, but how can you argue with a film that features Cyberpunk drug trips and futuristic gore, as well as appearances by both Lemmy and Iggy Pop?

Of course, most of Hardware’s charms are due to its metallic antagonist, an experimental military robot named after a Bible verse (no flesh shall be spared!). A spidery creation capable of self-repair and hallucination-inducing injections, the M.A.R.K. 13 is the stuff of dystopic nightmares.

Honestly, I think it’s a shame that this homicidal android only appeared in a single movie. However, there’s always time to amend that…

Born Brazilian, raised Canadian, Luiz is a writer and Film student that spends most of his time watching movies and subsequently complaining about them.

Editorials

‘A Haunted House’ and the Death of the Horror Spoof Movie

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Due to a complex series of anthropological mishaps, the Wayans Brothers are a huge deal in Brazil. Around these parts, White Chicks is considered a national treasure by a lot of people, so it stands to reason that Brazilian audiences would continue to accompany the Wayans’ comedic output long after North America had stopped taking them seriously as comedic titans.

This is the only reason why I originally watched Michael Tiddes and Marlon Wayans’ 2013 horror spoof A Haunted House – appropriately known as “Paranormal Inactivity” in South America – despite having abandoned this kind of movie shortly after the excellent Scary Movie 3. However, to my complete and utter amazement, I found myself mostly enjoying this unhinged parody of Found Footage films almost as much as the iconic spoofs that spear-headed the genre during the 2000s. And with Paramount having recently announced a reboot of the Scary Movie franchise, I think this is the perfect time to revisit the divisive humor of A Haunted House and maybe figure out why this kind of film hasn’t been popular in a long time.

Before we had memes and internet personalities to make fun of movie tropes for free on the internet, parody movies had been entertaining audiences with meta-humor since the very dawn of cinema. And since the genre attracted large audiences without the need for a serious budget, it made sense for studios to encourage parodies of their own productions – which is precisely what happened with Miramax when they commissioned a parody of the Scream franchise, the original Scary Movie.

The unprecedented success of the spoof (especially overseas) led to a series of sequels, spin-offs and rip-offs that came along throughout the 2000s. While some of these were still quite funny (I have a soft spot for 2008’s Superhero Movie), they ended up flooding the market much like the Guitar Hero games that plagued video game stores during that same timeframe.

You could really confuse someone by editing this scene into Paranormal Activity.

Of course, that didn’t stop Tiddes and Marlon Wayans from wanting to make another spoof meant to lampoon a sub-genre that had been mostly overlooked by the Scary Movie series – namely the second wave of Found Footage films inspired by Paranormal Activity. Wayans actually had an easier time than usual funding the picture due to the project’s Found Footage presentation, with the format allowing for a lower budget without compromising box office appeal.

In the finished film, we’re presented with supposedly real footage recovered from the home of Malcom Johnson (Wayans). The recordings themselves depict a series of unexplainable events that begin to plague his home when Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) decides to move in, with the couple slowly realizing that the difficulties of a shared life are no match for demonic shenanigans.

In practice, this means that viewers are subjected to a series of familiar scares subverted by wacky hijinks, with the flick featuring everything from a humorous recreation of the iconic fan-camera from Paranormal Activity 3 to bizarre dance numbers replacing Katy’s late-night trances from Oren Peli’s original movie.

Your enjoyment of these antics will obviously depend on how accepting you are of Wayans’ patented brand of crass comedy. From advanced potty humor to some exaggerated racial commentary – including a clever moment where Malcom actually attempts to move out of the titular haunted house because he’s not white enough to deal with the haunting – it’s not all that surprising that the flick wound up with a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes despite making a killing at the box office.

However, while this isn’t my preferred kind of humor, I think the inherent limitations of Found Footage ended up curtailing the usual excesses present in this kind of parody, with the filmmakers being forced to focus on character-based comedy and a smaller scale story. This is why I mostly appreciate the love-hate rapport between Kisha and Malcom even if it wouldn’t translate to a healthy relationship in real life.

Of course, the jokes themselves can also be pretty entertaining on their own, with cartoony gags like the ghost getting high with the protagonists (complete with smoke-filled invisible lungs) and a series of silly The Exorcist homages towards the end of the movie. The major issue here is that these legitimately funny and genre-specific jokes are often accompanied by repetitive attempts at low-brow humor that you could find in any other cheap comedy.

Not a good idea.

Not only are some of these painfully drawn out “jokes” incredibly unfunny, but they can also be remarkably offensive in some cases. There are some pretty insensitive allusions to sexual assault here, as well as a collection of secondary characters defined by negative racial stereotypes (even though I chuckled heartily when the Latina maid was revealed to have been faking her poor English the entire time).

Cinephiles often claim that increasingly sloppy writing led to audiences giving up on spoof movies, but the fact is that many of the more beloved examples of the genre contain some of the same issues as later films like A Haunted House – it’s just that we as an audience have (mostly) grown up and are now demanding more from our comedy. However, this isn’t the case everywhere, as – much like the Elves from Lord of the Rings – spoof movies never really died, they simply diminished.

A Haunted House made so much money that they immediately started working on a second one that released the following year (to even worse reviews), and the same team would later collaborate once again on yet another spoof, 50 Shades of Black. This kind of film clearly still exists and still makes a lot of money (especially here in Brazil), they just don’t have the same cultural impact that they used to in a pre-social-media-humor world.

At the end of the day, A Haunted House is no comedic masterpiece, failing to live up to the laugh-out-loud thrills of films like Scary Movie 3, but it’s also not the trainwreck that most critics made it out to be back in 2013. Comedy is extremely subjective, and while the raunchy humor behind this flick definitely isn’t for everyone, I still think that this satirical romp is mostly harmless fun that might entertain Found Footage fans that don’t take themselves too seriously.

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