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‘Secret Santa’ – Unwrapping the ‘Jason Goes to Hell’ Director’s Christmas Horror Comedy

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'Secret Santa' - 'Jason Goes to Hell' Director's Holiday Horror Coming to SCREAMBOX! [Trailer]

The frightful weather outside has nothing on the family gathering in Secret Santa. Adam Marcus, who is best known for unleashing the gonzo Friday the 13th entry Jason Goes to Hell upon the world, truly outdid himself with this over-the-top Christmas horror movie. Which is saying a lot considering the events of Jason Voorhees’ sole ‘90s outing. After some time away from the genre, though, Marcus returned in 2018 with a comedy as black as coal. Christmas cynics will naturally be drawn to the promise of a family going off the deep end during the holidays. However, this seasonal shocker may prove to be too much even for the biggest of scrooges.

For many folks, Christmas is the most joyous time of the year. For April Pope (A. Leslie Kies) and other members of her family, it’s the most dreadful. The director’s own internal struggle with Christmas is channeled through April as she heads for her mother’s house with boyfriend Ty (Michael Rady) in tow. It’s like marching toward the gallows but with presents and eggnog along the way. Yet while everyone else braces themselves for another helping of torturous togetherness and the matriarch’s infamous “darts” — a euphemism for her pointed and often devastating criticisms — a certain someone in this wacky clan has come up with a new family activity. One that will bring new meaning to the phrase “surviving the holidays.”

Secret Santa

Image: A bloodied Penny approaches an unaware April from behind.

Secret Santa takes average neuroses to the next level as April and her siblings endure their mother’s own unique brand of unmaternal behavior. Shari, played by Marcus’ wife and co-writer Debra Sullivan, earns her reputation as a malicious parent. Outsider Ty is quick to learn the ill reputation is indeed built on fact as he watches the now divorced Mrs. Pope in action. She reflexively shoots one daughter up with darts, publicly body-shames another, and completes her son’s every sentence because she can’t tolerate his stutter. Sullivan is saddled with the most vile character of the whole lot, but her performance is perfect. She brings dimension even to an obvious exaggeration of momzillas.

The average Christmas horror movie would be more inclined to summon a mythological monster or masked killer to the festivities, but Marcus and Sullivan see family as the greatest threat to the holidays. The filmmakers apparently tapped into their own horror stories about Christmas and family reunions as they throw every awful relative stereotype at the screen. Apart from the domineering and mean-as-hell mother, there is the bitter ex-spouse who shows up uninvited, the resentful sibling whose mission is to make everyone as unhappy as they are, and the lecher whose sexual indiscretions include dipping into their own backyard (so to speak). As a bonus, Secret Santa adds in notes of homophobia, racism and classism. Essentially, it’s all the bigotries you can imagine coming into play at a family get-together as maladjusted as this one.

You might ask how this dark and twisted soap opera can be qualified as overt horror — surely a few people would agree that dealing with their family during the holidays is just as terrifying as a Krampus or an ax-wielding Santa Claus — but the genre label is evident when multiple characters display aggression. Admittedly, most everyone is loathsome to begin with; examples include April’s sister Penny (Ryan Leigh Seaton) hating her guts like it’s a full-time job, and Shari quietly fuming over her own sister (Pat Destro) hooking up with her ex (John Gilbert). Those prior animosities transform into motives for murder when something causes everyone to become overheated (both physically and emotionally). Believe it or not, the Popes and their guests were being pleasant (or their idea of pleasant) before this turning point.

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Image: Penny gets her revenge as she literally stabs her mother in the back while April watches.

Secret Santa dashes into spectacle territory following a disastrous round of the movie’s titular tradition. Swapping gifts sent from mystery senders ultimately leads the characters into their almost supernatural frenzies. This nutso scene, the first of several especially violent set pieces, is the unmistakable start of the movie’s grisly metaphor for being trapped with family. The flying and unrelenting dialogue of earlier doesn’t come to a complete stop, although now that’s been topped off with these life-or-death struggles between specific members of the rapidly dwindling Pope bunch. That mysterious force behind everyone’s sudden mood shift is also compelling them to spew horrible and hurtful truths.

Secret Santa is a devilishly subversive gift of indie Christmas horror. That micro-budget can be distracting at times; digitally created bloodletting is always egregious and should be avoided. Offsetting the thrifty production values, though, are performances that upgrade the whole affair. Each actor is committed to their role and having a blast with it. The spry script keeps the audience on their toes as well. As far as humor goes, this movie neither plays nice nor does it go easy on anyone. This equal-opportunity offending story of one truly hellish Christmas celebration and its abhorrent participants is, at the very least, never dull. Not everyone will find amusement here, but those who love witnessing the holidays’ dark side come out in full force should feel like a kid on Christmas morning.

Secret Santa is now streaming on SCREAMBOX!

secret santa

Image: April lies on the ground with all those who didn’t survive this killer Christmas party.

Paul Lê is a Texas-based, Tomato approved critic at Bloody Disgusting, Dread Central, and Tales from the Paulside.

Editorials

‘Ju-On: The Curse’ – The Original Movies That Spawned ‘The Grudge’ Franchise

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In a world where over-polished corporate products dominate the media landscape while the ever-growing threat of AI-generated “art” haunts the horizon, I can’t help but remember a story about how Wes Anderson insisted on using real fur on the stop-motion puppets of his animated opus, Fantastic Mr. Fox. When the animators complained that using fur would result in obvious thumbprints and erratic hair movement that would ruin the “illusion” of lifelike movement, the filmmaker explained that these imperfections were the point.

Why am I bringing this up on a horror website? Well, I’ve always been of the opinion that low production value is simply part of the appeal of independent cinema, and nowhere is this more evident than in the horror genre. Rubber monster suits and watery blood effects are a big part of what make even the cheapest scary movies so endearing, and horror fans are uniquely predisposed to look beyond technical limitations in order to appreciate a good story.

One of my favorite examples of this is a certain micro-budget duology that kicked off one of the scariest film series of all time despite some undeniably janky presentation. And as a lifelong fan of low-budget scares, I’d like to invite you to join me down a J-Horror rabbit hole as we explore the criminally underrated origins of the Ju-On/The Grudge franchise.

While most of you are likely already familiar with 2002’s Ju-On: The Grudge, the film that helped to kick off the J-Horror craze and established Takashi Shimizu as a master of the craft, a lot of folks don’t realize that this was actually the filmmaker’s third attempt at telling the Saeki family story. In fact, the very first appearance of Kayako and her ghostly son occurred in a couple of 1998 short films made by Shimizu while he was still in film school.

Part of a made-for-TV anthology showcasing the work of up-and-coming Japanese filmmakers (Gakkô no Kaidan G), the shorts attempted to update classic Japanese folk tales for a new generation by incorporating modern elements like helpless high-schoolers and cellphones into old-fashioned ghost stories.

The original Toshio!

Despite some cheap camerawork and drama class make-up effects, Shimizu’s Katasumi and 4444444444 (so titled because the Japanese pronunciation of the number 4 is similar to that of death) were the clear highlights of the spooky collection despite being much shorter than the other segments. That’s why it was only natural that the director’s next project would be a feature-length expansion of these ideas produced for the direct-to-video market.

Coming up with an extensive mythology surrounding his murderous ghosts and realizing that he had a potential hit on his hands, Shimizu ended up making the risky decision to split his original two-hour story into two smaller films shot back-to-back. And while the sequel would suffer from this decision, the focus on serialized storytelling is what would ultimately turn this indie experiment into a global phenomenon.

Released in 2000, the first entry in this duology, simply titled Ju-On: The Curse, weaves an interconnected web of paranormal incidents surrounding a cursed house and the ill-fated families that inhabit it. While the film would actually reference the events of Shimizu’s shorts, it’s here that audiences were first introduced to the iconic opening text explaining how a violent death may spawn an infectious curse that self-perpetuates by causing even more deaths in a never-ending cycle of violence.

At first glance, The Curse feels a lot like an anthology meant to repurpose Shimizu’s existing ideas for ghostly short films into a feature format, but narrative details eventually add up as worried teachers, unsuspecting teenagers and psychic realtors unravel bits and pieces of the Saeki family history in a tragic tapestry of death. Curiously, this attempt at crafting a complex narrative puzzle would become a staple of the franchise as future entries (and even the video game) used non-linear storytelling to breathe new life into familiar yarns.

Of course, it’s really the scares that put this franchise on the map, and that’s why you’ll find plenty of expertly orchestrated frights here. Sure, the pale makeup effects and stock sound design aren’t that much better than what we saw in Gakkô no Kaidan G, but the suspenseful execution of moments like Toshio’s slow undead reveal and Kayako’s first contortionist crawl down the stairs – not to mention the incredibly disturbing sequence with a baby inside of a trash bag – are the stuff of horror legend regardless of budget.

I’d even argue that the low production value actually adds to the experience by making everything feel that much more down to earth. The Saeki house isn’t a stylish haunted manor from the Vincent Price era, it’s just a regular Japanese home inhabited by regular people, making it easier to believe that this modern urban legend could also happen to you. Hell, I even think Toshio is scarier when he can pass as a living kid even if the screaming cat effects aren’t as good as the sequels.

Cheap can still be scary.

Unfortunately, quality scares can’t solve everything, and that’s where Ju-On: The Curse 2 comes in. Released the same year as its predecessor, this bizarre sequel only features about 45 minutes of new footage, with the rest being recycled segments from the first film meant to pad out the runtime. While this is a surprisingly dishonest move on Shimizu’s part, with the decision likely resulting in confused viewers thinking that there was something wrong with their rented videotapes, it’s still pretty hard to call this a bad movie.

That’s why I’ve come to respect the flick as a rare instance of a cinematic expansion pack, as the first film didn’t really need to be any longer, but the new segments still do a great job of adding to the existing mythology. This time around, we learn that you don’t even have to come into direct contact with the haunted house in order to be affected by the curse, with characters only tangentially connected to the Saeki tragedy still meeting terrible fates.

That final shot featuring multiple Kayakos is also one of the most incredibly chilling moments in the entire franchise, with the amount of care put into these scenes suggesting that this was probably all meant to have been included in the first film before Shimizu decided otherwise. Either way, I’d still recommend watching this one immediately after Part I in a condensed double-feature – so long as you skip the first thirty minutes.

Despite their humble origins, these low-budget scare-fests would go on to inspire a ghostly media empire, with Shimizu eventually being given the chance to bring his creations to the big screen with one of the best J-Horror flicks of all time. And while I won’t argue that these direct-to-video precursors are necessarily better than 2002’s Ju-On: The Grudge (or even the American duology which was also helmed by Shimizu), I still think that something special was lost each time the series was tasked with pleasing a wider audience, as the story slowly became glossier and less real.

That’s why I’d urge hardcore horror fans to seek out Shimizu’s early experiments, as his creative fingerprints are the duct-tape that keeps this janky collection of horrific vignettes together. It may not always be pretty, but I’ll take the grimy actors caked in cheap blood and white clown makeup over corporate-approved movie monsters any day of the week.

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