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NSFW: 10 Ridiculous Horror Porn Parodies

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Porn. We all watch it at some point in our lives. Hell, for some of us we watch it at some point during the day! I mean, according to HuffPo, in 2013 YouPorn was generating six times the bandwidth of Hulu per month! It’s safe to say that people like watching other people do naughty things. Which, in a weird way, is a great way to describe horror fans. After all, don’t we like watching people do naughty things? By “naughty” I of course mean hack other people to pieces, but that’s neither here nor there.

Back in August of 2015, Trace wrote up a piece dubbed 10 Incredibly Graphic Sex Scenes in Horror Movies (NSFW), which generated a ton of views and discussion. So I decided to take this approach and create my own list but give it a twist. Instead of focusing on horror movies that injected sex, I would focus on porn films that spruce themselves up with horror plots!

Obviously, this list is HIGHLY NSFW, so venture forth at your own risk. For those who do want to go down (pun absolutely intended), stay safe, grab your lube, and don’t hurt yourself!

This Ain’t American Horror Story XXX

Produced by Hustler, this parody of Ryan Murphy’s FX highly successful horror anthology series tackled each season but with a porn twist. And yes, for “Freak Show” they included a double-headed blowjob. Hustler, you get mad props just for that alone.


American Werewolf In London XXX

If you thought Ginger Snaps toed the line when it comes to werewolves and sex, this porn parody from Smash Pictures dives right off the edge! What’s great about it is that they seemingly went all out in trying to recreate some of the segments from John Landis’ original film, including the Mutant Nazi nightmare sequence.


The Sexfiles 2: A Dark XXX Parody

Have you ever found yourself screaming at “The X-Files” for Mulder and Scully to just fuck and get it over with? Well, while that itch won’t be entirely scratched by this porn parody, it’s definitely going to be alleviated to some extent! But speaking seriously, it looks like they got all the fan favorites from the series and built a legit story to go with all the coitus. Kudos to the Revolution X and Digital Sin for making a high-quality looking porn!


Official Friday The 13th Parody

With all the sex and nudity in the Friday the 13th films, it’s not a surprise that many considered them to be slightly pornographic in their own right. Still, there’s always a way to take things to the next level and Zero Tolerance has done just that! I’m not sure where they got “flesh eating jizz” from though…


The XXXorcist

If you thought I’d go through this list and not include something from Burning Angel Entertainment, you’re 100% wrong! How could I turn away from something that had the line, “I’m going to have to fuck the HELL out of you!” That is honestly such a hysterical and witty line that I can’t help but adore it!


The Walking Dead : A Hardcore Parody

Burning Angel Entertainment is back again only this time they’re banging it out during a zombie apocalypse! What I find to be the funniest thing about this is that they most likely had to look for extras and explain that they weren’t going to get laid. “Hey! Wanna be in a porn?… No, no sex… Tons of makeup… You’re gonna be dead… Yeah, zombie… No, your mom doesn’t have to know… Cool! See you soon!


The Twilight Zone Porn Parody

Hustler is back with another entry, this time tackling Rod Serling’s classic sci-fi/horror suspense show! To be fair, watching the trailer this doesn’t really seem like an episode of “The Twilight Zone” but more like your basic soap opera with nudity. Whatever, I’m sure there’s a twist at the (happy) end.


Buffy the Vampire Slayer XXX Porn Parody

Joss Whedon’s show had a ton of sexual tension throughout (not to mention the time when Buffy and Spike destroyed a house with their “relations”), so it was kind of inevitable that a porn parody would happen. Created by Adam & Eve, it looks like it’s one of those tongue-in-cheek parodies that has a ton of fun with the source material while giving the stars a chance to do their thing. All the things. To quote from another Joss Whedon show, I’ll be in my bunk.


Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody

There has been Scooby Doo porn on the internet since the internet became widely available. For some reason, people absolutely LOVE the thought of the Scooby gang hooking up in various iterations. I did a Google image search for “Scooby Doo porn” and forgot to add “parody” at the end and believe you me when I tell you that there is some fucked up shit out there. Some people should be ashamed! Still, I’ll fully admit that the trailer below had me genuinely laughing at a few points.

Side note: how many of these movies is Evan Stone going to be in?!


Evil Head

The last entry on this list is yet another top quality parody from Burning Angel Entertainment, who decided to do a porn that mixes characters and moments from Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn. Once again, the production is surprisingly high and I could see people watching this not for the sex but simply for the comedic effect!

Man, with how many horror porn parodies Burning Angel Entertainment has put out I’m beginning to think that I need to do an interview!

Editorials

‘A Haunted House’ and the Death of the Horror Spoof Movie

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Due to a complex series of anthropological mishaps, the Wayans Brothers are a huge deal in Brazil. Around these parts, White Chicks is considered a national treasure by a lot of people, so it stands to reason that Brazilian audiences would continue to accompany the Wayans’ comedic output long after North America had stopped taking them seriously as comedic titans.

This is the only reason why I originally watched Michael Tiddes and Marlon Wayans’ 2013 horror spoof A Haunted House – appropriately known as “Paranormal Inactivity” in South America – despite having abandoned this kind of movie shortly after the excellent Scary Movie 3. However, to my complete and utter amazement, I found myself mostly enjoying this unhinged parody of Found Footage films almost as much as the iconic spoofs that spear-headed the genre during the 2000s. And with Paramount having recently announced a reboot of the Scary Movie franchise, I think this is the perfect time to revisit the divisive humor of A Haunted House and maybe figure out why this kind of film hasn’t been popular in a long time.

Before we had memes and internet personalities to make fun of movie tropes for free on the internet, parody movies had been entertaining audiences with meta-humor since the very dawn of cinema. And since the genre attracted large audiences without the need for a serious budget, it made sense for studios to encourage parodies of their own productions – which is precisely what happened with Miramax when they commissioned a parody of the Scream franchise, the original Scary Movie.

The unprecedented success of the spoof (especially overseas) led to a series of sequels, spin-offs and rip-offs that came along throughout the 2000s. While some of these were still quite funny (I have a soft spot for 2008’s Superhero Movie), they ended up flooding the market much like the Guitar Hero games that plagued video game stores during that same timeframe.

You could really confuse someone by editing this scene into Paranormal Activity.

Of course, that didn’t stop Tiddes and Marlon Wayans from wanting to make another spoof meant to lampoon a sub-genre that had been mostly overlooked by the Scary Movie series – namely the second wave of Found Footage films inspired by Paranormal Activity. Wayans actually had an easier time than usual funding the picture due to the project’s Found Footage presentation, with the format allowing for a lower budget without compromising box office appeal.

In the finished film, we’re presented with supposedly real footage recovered from the home of Malcom Johnson (Wayans). The recordings themselves depict a series of unexplainable events that begin to plague his home when Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) decides to move in, with the couple slowly realizing that the difficulties of a shared life are no match for demonic shenanigans.

In practice, this means that viewers are subjected to a series of familiar scares subverted by wacky hijinks, with the flick featuring everything from a humorous recreation of the iconic fan-camera from Paranormal Activity 3 to bizarre dance numbers replacing Katy’s late-night trances from Oren Peli’s original movie.

Your enjoyment of these antics will obviously depend on how accepting you are of Wayans’ patented brand of crass comedy. From advanced potty humor to some exaggerated racial commentary – including a clever moment where Malcom actually attempts to move out of the titular haunted house because he’s not white enough to deal with the haunting – it’s not all that surprising that the flick wound up with a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes despite making a killing at the box office.

However, while this isn’t my preferred kind of humor, I think the inherent limitations of Found Footage ended up curtailing the usual excesses present in this kind of parody, with the filmmakers being forced to focus on character-based comedy and a smaller scale story. This is why I mostly appreciate the love-hate rapport between Kisha and Malcom even if it wouldn’t translate to a healthy relationship in real life.

Of course, the jokes themselves can also be pretty entertaining on their own, with cartoony gags like the ghost getting high with the protagonists (complete with smoke-filled invisible lungs) and a series of silly The Exorcist homages towards the end of the movie. The major issue here is that these legitimately funny and genre-specific jokes are often accompanied by repetitive attempts at low-brow humor that you could find in any other cheap comedy.

Not a good idea.

Not only are some of these painfully drawn out “jokes” incredibly unfunny, but they can also be remarkably offensive in some cases. There are some pretty insensitive allusions to sexual assault here, as well as a collection of secondary characters defined by negative racial stereotypes (even though I chuckled heartily when the Latina maid was revealed to have been faking her poor English the entire time).

Cinephiles often claim that increasingly sloppy writing led to audiences giving up on spoof movies, but the fact is that many of the more beloved examples of the genre contain some of the same issues as later films like A Haunted House – it’s just that we as an audience have (mostly) grown up and are now demanding more from our comedy. However, this isn’t the case everywhere, as – much like the Elves from Lord of the Rings – spoof movies never really died, they simply diminished.

A Haunted House made so much money that they immediately started working on a second one that released the following year (to even worse reviews), and the same team would later collaborate once again on yet another spoof, 50 Shades of Black. This kind of film clearly still exists and still makes a lot of money (especially here in Brazil), they just don’t have the same cultural impact that they used to in a pre-social-media-humor world.

At the end of the day, A Haunted House is no comedic masterpiece, failing to live up to the laugh-out-loud thrills of films like Scary Movie 3, but it’s also not the trainwreck that most critics made it out to be back in 2013. Comedy is extremely subjective, and while the raunchy humor behind this flick definitely isn’t for everyone, I still think that this satirical romp is mostly harmless fun that might entertain Found Footage fans that don’t take themselves too seriously.

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