Connect with us

Movies

‘Departing Seniors’ Review – Middling Teen Slasher Can’t Slay Its Own Shortcomings

Published

on

In the canon of high school-set slashers, Departing Seniors is a moderate achiever — the middle of the pack. Jose Nateras’ screenplay massages LGBTQ+ themes into an adorable-awkward-angsty teen romance threatened by deadly obstacles (outside cruel bigotry). It’s refreshingly genuine in terms of treating queer relationships with normalcy, but schoolyard slasher tension dulls without sharp execution. Director Clare Cooney’s feature debut is more competent than confident, relying on select performances and cheeky metatextual callbacks to overcompensate for a less successful balancing of subgenres.

It’s seven days until graduation at Springhurst High, and Javier (Ignacio Diaz-Silverio) is just trying to survive until college. He’s gay, he’s Mexican-American, and he’s surrounded by small-minded jocks who mock anything outside their suburban status quo. Javier’s bestie Bianca (Ireon Roach) is his rock, willing to beat an athlete bloody if they utter a single insult. Unfortunately, when Bianca isn’t around after school, Javier is bullied into falling down a staircase and smacking his head — which unlocks psychic powers that can see people’s pasts and futures when instigated by physical touch. It’s a bizarre ability that should make his last few days in Springhurst a little more interesting, especially when lifeless student bodies pile up.

Ignacio Diaz-Silverio and Ireon Roach are the standout stars of Departing Seniors, bonded by their mutual disdain for Springhurst’s embarrassingly primitive population. Where surrounding castmates read like bland caricatures, Javier and Bianca could hold their own in Mean Girls or Clueless. Ryan Foreman also deserves a brief spotlight as Will, Javier’s shy band-geek love interest, for igniting sparks in his interactions with Diaz-Silverio’s confidently open protagonist. Classroom banter or hallway goof-offs can feel as forced as out-loud references to the Scream series, but the trio of Javier, Bianca, and Will strive to elevate a malnourished slasher.

Departing Seniors dwells on the dramatic entanglement of Javier’s hallucinations, queerphobia, and general teenage dilemmas, sometimes forgetting to be a slasher. Cooney and Nateras wink at the audience with audible and visual nods to high school cinema royalty from the Grease series to Wes Craven’s Woodsboro massacres — but don’t faithfully maintain their own slasher architecture. Cooney emphasizes the importance of queer representation in horror but gets lost in the power of anti-bullying agendas. It’s almost thirty minutes into the film before the masked killer starts causing consistent havoc (in comparison), taking a lengthy break after slicing fresh wounds in the opening scene. There’s an imbalance when contrasting Javier’s high school interactions out of a The CW show against death sequences that skirt around gore whenever possible. One might argue that’s because the true horror of Departing Seniors is the ridicule and degradation Javier has to deal with. While appropriate, that doesn’t excuse the slasher machinations for being clunky and uninspired.

Cooney admirably fights against a smaller budget, but the film’s shortcomings are too evident. Javier’s visions are a technicolor blur with misguided editing that’s choppier than hurricane waters, for one. Where other independent filmmakers can smooth out rougher low-cost edges, Departing Seniors languishes as a mid-tier horror experience that’s better when it’s not trying to be a progressive and punchy slasher. Cooney struggles with “heavy” action sequences and doesn’t quite grasp the film’s big picture, failing to control a fluctuating tone that never quite fastens its scarier elements into place. Cooney’s able to coax some decent performances from her talented leads, but beyond that, can’t prevent the final product from feeling rigid and mechanical.

It’s a shame because the allure of a queer slasher that’s both vulnerable and vicious isn’t paid off in Departing Seniors. The body count is weak, there’s insufficient attention paid to the blending of coming-of-age frustrations and psycho killer masterplans, supernatural premonitions aren’t explored to the fullest – Departing Seniors is one of those genre hybrids that almost feels like it doesn’t want to be a horror flick. Ignacio Diaz-Silverio and Ireon Roach are your reasons to give this one a shot if you’re even the slightest bit interested, but don’t expect teen slasher excellence. Cooney never decides what kind of queer genre story her film wants to be — the rom-com, the mutilator — and that’s a sin too few emotionally-driven horror grab bags overcome.

2.5 out of 5 skulls

Movies

The Birthday Murders: Viral Marketing Website Launches for ‘Longlegs’

Published

on

NEON has been absolutely slaying the marketing game for their horror output this year, and they’re kicking the Longlegs campaign into high gear with one more month until release.

A cryptic ad in The Seattle Times today (seen below) has led clever horror fans to discover TheBirthdayMurders.net, the brand new official viral marketing website for Longlegs.

The in-universe website details the victims of the serial killer known as Longlegs (Nicolas Cage), described as a “Satan-worshipping psycho” who has terrorized families throughout the Pacific Northwest for nearly three decades.

The website details, “A bloody trail of bodies here in the great state of Oregon attests to the depraved savagery of this one-of-a-kind serial killer. With over three dozen victims that we know of, LONGLEGS is one of the most prolific mass murderers ever to have graced the region, and his gruesome endeavors are the stuff of nightmares. At first, all of the killings appeared to be straightforward murder-suicides: the handiwork of average men who suddenly snapped and slaughtered their wives and children. But a series of eerie coded messages left at the crime scenes indicate that someone – or something – is influencing these horrific crimes. The cryptic letters are signed by someone calling himself LONGLEGS.”

“With thirty-eight kills to his name, LONGLEGS has torn apart the lives of eleven different families throughout the Beaver State. His victims were good people: honest fathers, decent mothers, innocent little children.”

The website is loaded with secrets, clues, and gruesome (faux) crime scene photos, and you might even find a mention of yours truly nestled in there. Poke around. Stay a while.

Longlegs arrives in theaters July 12.

The upcoming serial killer horror movie marks the return of director Osgood Perkins (The Blackcoat’s Daughter, Gretel & Hansel). Nicolas Cage stars alongside Maika Monroe, with Monroe playing an FBI agent and Cage playing a serial killer.

In the film, “FBI Agent Lee Harker (Monroe) is a gifted new recruit assigned to the unsolved case of an elusive serial killer (Cage). As the case takes complex turns, unearthing evidence of the occult, Harker discovers a personal connection to the merciless killer and must race against time to stop him before he claims the lives of another innocent family.

The film is rated “R” for “Bloody violence, disturbing images and some language.”

Continue Reading