This week’s Horror In Your House is a whopper, a week loaded with new DVD options for you guys to pick up at a retailer this Tuesday, June 24. Ghost House finally releases THE TATTOOIST, which is slated to be remade, TLA unloads the horror film from Pakistan entitled HELL’S GROUND and Genius heads to Asia for a look at THE WIG. Inside you’ll find the full list that is guaranteed to give you more than your moneys worth.

Horror in your House
June 24, 2008
By: Tex Massacre

THE CHILLING: Shriek Show/Media Blasters

Universal Cryogenics is doing a booming business in freezing the bodies of the recently dead in the hopes of defrosting them later when science has discovered a way to cure what ails them. Things are going well until the storage facility loses its power during a storm, threatening their frozen clients. To make matters worse, a lightning strike causes the bodies to revive as homicidal zombies. What has the cryogenic lab been doing to its customers to cause this kind of change, and can they stop the zombies before their rampage goes out of control?

CURSE OF THE WEEPING WOMAN: J-OK’EL: Maverick

The terrifying legend of J-ok el just might be true! While searching for his missing sister George learns the haunting details of the J-ok el legend (La Llorona); a woman who drowned her own babies centuries ago and whose spirit has returned to claim more children as her own.

THE DEMONS AMONG US: Troma

Joe Melton moves to the country for some peace and quiet. But shortly after arriving he discovers a dark presence so disturbing that it could mean the end of the world as we know it. The Demons are among us. As the small town of Miranda Falls is slaughtered like cattle the devil rises from his prison deep below the earth s surface. Only Joe and his talking axe can save us but he’s completely lost his marbles! When the horror reaches its bloody climax you better pray there is a God!

TEX SAYS: Troma delivers this low-budge Australian film full of trippy imagery. It’s got guts to spare and some fairly effect make-up effects on the monsters, which look like they went on walkabout from Lambero Bava’s DEMONS.

DESERT OF BLOOD: Rivercoast

For thirty-five years, something evil lay buried beneath the sands of Mexico–until a hapless treasure hunter digs up more than he expects, releasing the mysterious, handsome, and deadly Luis Diego from his desert tomb. Finally free, Diego seeks to exact vengeance on those who nearly destroyed him all those years ago, including the woman he once loved, Sarita. Diego’s revenge, however, is unexpectedly interrupted when he falls for Sarita’s niece, Maricela. He sees in her a second chance–a chance to defeat the darkness inside him and to lead a normal life. But torn between the love in his heart and the evil in his soul, Diego soon discovers that his thirst for blood cannot be denied. With a growing rage, Diego succumbs to his wicked hunger and resumes his quest for vengeance, determined to leave nothing in Mexico but a desert of blood.

TEX SAYS: This low-budget thriller, shot on location in Mexico plays more like a Telenova than a true horror film. But you guys might want to check it out for the sexy women as well as for a pretty funny running gag about one girls quest for the ultimate sensory overload.

DRAINIAC: Shock-O-Rama/POPcinema (TEX’S PICK OF THE WEEK)

Julie Ashbrook and a group of friends have taken up residence in a deserted old house while they clean it up for a planned restoration. Strange and inexplicable occurrences involving water is just the beginning as gruesome death-by-plumbing takes its toll on the terrified inhabitants. Drip by steady drip the fleshless entity begins to take shape and Julie and her friends soon come face to face with the bloodthirsty monster in all its aqueous evil – an ancient water demon that wants to tear them apart!

TEX SAYS: Director Brett Piper’s decade old opus gets a loving re-release. Sure it’s cheesy as hell, but I do love me some velveeta!

EASTERN HORROR (10 movies, 5 discs): BCI

ROBO VAMPIRE–A dead narcotics agent is brought back to life by an experimental procedure that transforms him into a human-android hybrid.

DEVIL’S DYNAMITE–The Androidbot returns to battle an army of bloodthirsty vampires out to protect the evil empire of a ruthless drug lord.

MAGIC OF THE UNIVERSE–A circus magician journeys through a nightmarish netherworld in order to rescue his kidnapped daughter from the clutches of supernatural forces angry over his dabbling in the magical arts.

COUNTER DESTROYER–Working on a film script in an old haunted house, a screenwriter accidentally unleashes an army of the undead, including a robot-vampire and a Freddy Kruger-like creature with deadly scissor-hands.

SATAN’S SLAVE–Infused with Islamic iconography, this is a tale of a family curse that raises the dead.

CORPSE MASTER–An evil sorcerer fights against a Taoist priest, who uses a baby vampire to battle the undead.

VAMPIRE RESURRECTION–A group of tourists on holiday at a remote island discover their night time entertainment hosts are unholy bloodsuckers. It s safe to say that this vacation package sucks! Thrills, chills, and laughs come in the tradition of Mr. Vampire.

DEVIL SHADOW–A thriller to rival the giallo greats! Wan Di is a cartoonist whose two characters, Ugly Kid and Big Devil , are inspired by his childhood past. As a youngster, he lived in a slum and was beaten and abused by his mother. Then one day, she is found brutally murdered. Now the killer is contacting Wan and letting him know her murder was about him. Approx.

CALAMITY OF SNAKES–A construction team discovers a massive nest of snakes and kills most of them, despite warnings from the foreman s wife. Led by a giant boa constrictor, the surviving reptiles take revenge on everybody in the building! This is one of the most gruesome films ever! Sam Jackson is safer on the plane!

DEVIL’S BOX–Filmmaker Tang, played by Simon Yam, is experiencing bizarre accidents on his film set with scaffolding falling and people getting hurt. Then, when trouble follows him home, it becomes apparent that he s haunted by ghosts. Things go too far and Tang decides to fight back. A Hong Kong giallo style film!

AN EROTIC WEREWOLF IN LONDON: Seduction Cinema/POPcinema

Get ready for a hot hair-raising adventure as Misty Mundae and her delicious co-stars Julian Wells Darian Caine Anoushka Ruby LaRocca and Zoe Moonshine transform An Erotic Werewolf in London into a lycanthropic ultra-erotic epic. Anoushka plays a luscious blonde werewolf living in London who a la An Interview with a Vampire meets up with a reporter to relate her tragic tale and tell her story once and for all to the world. Anoushka’s bite has recently turned doe-eyed American beauty Misty Mundae into a fellow female werewolf whose metamorphosis into sexual predator is triggered by arousal and ultimately orgasm.

TEX SAYS: This latest production from POP Cinema was actually shot a few years ago for the studio by maverick director Bill Hellfire and is only seeing the light of day now. Super-fans of Mike Raso’s bevy of beauties won’t want to miss the line-up of Misty Mundae, Darian Caine, Julian Wells and Ruby Larocca! Howlllllllooooollll!

THE EYE 3: Lionsgate

Some believe that our world is one of many that our existence is merely an intersection between countless dimensions – known and unknown. We run into strangers we don’t see hear tunes we don’t hear. Most of us remain ignorant but there are always those who are a little different they would risk everything to find the truth if not the thrill – that is to see the other side – just once in their lives. In the world of psychics despite widely different rites and practices there exists a single mutual; void – the Rite of Eight – the last and most powerful resort to make contact with the spiritual world. No one seems to know its origin but no one doubts its authenticity because just like any other unsolvable myth those who go there have never returned to testify.

TEX SAYS: It’s like the Pang Brothers meets the Wayans Brothers. Not a good idea!

GINGERDEAD MAN 2: THE PASSION OF THE CRUST: Full Moon

Young Kelvin Cheatam has just inherited his father’s fledgling movie studio. After a string of unsuccessful box office bombs the passionate young producer has been struggling to keep the place from closing down for good. Desperate for another hit movie he quickly puts several outrageous genre films into production. Little does he know…that Cheatam Studios is about to get more action than he ever imagined as the deranged cookie murderer known as The Gingerbread Man is about to crash the studio lot and leave behind a trail of bloody murder and hilarious mayhem. Terror still has never tasted so good!

HELL’S GROUND: TLA

Pakistan s first splatter flick in the tradition of Friday the 13th and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre delivers spine-tingling thrills when an attractive group of teens pile into a van that runs out of gas in the middle of a dark mysterious forest. Their ghoulish nightmare begins when rotting fresh-eating zombies and a decapitated head-toting screaming banshee-like hitchhiker begin to terrorize them at every turn. But when a mysterious figure dressed in a blood-drenched burqa appears sporting a medieval weapon dripping in gore even the teens prayers won t save them from a night of savage demented horror.

KILLER’S MOON: Redemption USA

Killer’s Moon is Britain’s answer to I Spit On Your Grave only sleazier. Produced in the late seventies it mixes lurid scenes of rape with Clockwork Orange Droog style menace drugs and dollops of ultra violence all of which combined make this a true ‘video nasty’. Centered on four drugged-up escaped prisoners whose only purpose in life is to ‘loot kill and rape’ and who in true exploitation style seek refuge in the nearest girls school Killer’s Moon starts off mired in sleaze and stays there. Full of gratuitous sexual violence a three-legged dog and some truly repellent dialogue this film is not to be missed.

THE LODGE: Monarch

A young couple’s weekend getaway at a secluded mountain ranch becomes an unfathomable nightmare when they discover the truth about the caretaker.

TEX SAYS: A descent little indie film that unfortunately spills the beans in the opening scenes and then tries to make up for with a disturbing little twist later on.

LONG DREAM: Tidepoint/Facets

In this surreal horror flick by director Higuchinsky an ambitious doctor is perplexed by a patient who comes to him with grave fears of going to sleep. Each night his dreams grow longer and longer eventually taking a toll on his body. Believing these “long dreams” are linked to immortality the doctor begins a series of experiments on his patient and himself. Based on the manga Nagai Yume by Junji Ito Long Dream is a nightmarish descent into madness.

MAN OF A THOUSAND FACES: Universal

Academy Award winner James Cagney gives an unforgettable performance as Lon Chaney in this fascinating true story that follows the life of one of the most iconic and mysterious stars in Hollywood history!Known as the “Man of a Thousand Faces” silent film star Lon Chaney captured the imagination of the world through his incredibly expressive and transformative roles such as Quasimodo in The Hunchback of Notre Dame and the Phantom from the original Phantom of the Opera. Behind the scenes however this long-suffering talented genius’ life was filled with trials and tribulations that helped shape some of his most groundbreaking roles.

NOBODY LOVES ALICE: Indie-Pictures.com

Some little girls grow up bad but some are just born that way. Alice came into the world unloved. Bouncing from foster home to foster home she never experienced love, even in the most basic of ways. As Alice changed from child into a woman she still failed to receive that fairytale romance she so desperately needed. Try as she may to find that love it seems to be just out of reach. As those poor misfortunate souls that fail to requite her love they pay for it with a world of pain and torture. Alice s story collides with one of her co-workers Abigail. Abigail and her boyfriend Alex have that fairytale romance that Alice is so desperately trying to find. As Abigail catches onto her boyfriend s plan to propose she comes up with a scheme to test her soon-to-be fiancés fidelity. And who better to play the bait in the scenario… Alice. Now Alice finds herself face-to-face with the one thing she s always wanted-True love. As Alice becomes more disillusioned in her make believe world of true love she’ll stop at nothing to ensure nobody takes Alex from her.

PAPAYA: LOVE GODDESS OF THE CANNIBALS: Severin

Her name was Sirpa Lane the succulent Finnish beauty who became an international sex symbol in Roger Vadim’s CHARLOTTE then shocked the world with her inhuman degradation in Walerian Borowczyk’s THE BEAST. But perhaps her ultimate cinematic destiny was to star in this tropical sleaze-fest from the notorious Joe D’Amato director of EMANUELLE AND THE WHITE SLAVE TRADE and ANTHROPOPHAGUS as a woman who hungrily surrenders to perverse trysts native vengeance graphic carnal carnage and much more.

TEX SAYS: This film needs to be seen for the 5-minute Disco Cannibal Blood Orgy sequence; otherwise it’s more of the same exotic locals and erotic twists you can find in any Joe D’Amato flick. Also notable for an opening sequence where Papaya–the native sex-pot–pleasures a man with the fruit of the same name! Kinda makes me hungry.

RAISING JEFFREY DAHMER: Lionsgate

After Jeffrey’s arrest their lives upended by rumors innuendo and intrusive media attention the members of Jeffrey Dahmer’s family painfully try to piece together what led to Jeffrey’s cold-blooded crimes.

SERIAL KILLER COLLECTION (ZODIAC KILLER, BLACK DAHLIA, GREEN RIVER KILLER; 3-disc): Lionsgate

ZODIAC KILLER: The infamous Zodiac Killer returns through a string of copycat murders in this terrifying thriller – a gruesome serial killer who was never caught and remains one of the most mesmerizing killers in American crime.

BLACK DAHLIA: A rookie cop is after the serial killer who is copying the brutal massacre of the 1940s Hollywood starlet Betty Short – The Black Dahlia.

GREEN RIVER KILLER: The Green River Killer one of the most notorious serial killers in U.S. history was arrested in 2001 for the murder of 48 women. Prepare to enter the mind of a killer – and come out alive.

TEX SAYS: Holy shit! Armageddon is coming. A Ulli Lommel box set. My eyes, my eyes!

SIMON, KING OF THE WITCHES: Dark Sky

Simon Sinestrari is a warlock. Though he lives in a storm drain and sometimes talks to trees he’s the real deal no smoke and mirrors. Deadly serious about his craft he despises falsehoods and misconceptions toward his witchy profession. And as for those who don t believe…After being picked up for vagrancy Simon spends a night in jail with Turk a young hustler with connections to powerful people in powerful places. One such character is Hercules a skeptical philanthropist who hires Simon to work a party of hipsters and the well-to-do among whom is beautiful Linda the pill-popping daughter of the local district attorney. In-between romantic dalliances and colorful sex-magik ceremonies with Linda Simon must contend with those who dare to challenge his magical prowess eventually forcing him to summon dark forces of revenge and murder.

THE TATTOOIST: Sony Pictures

A tattooist unwittingly unleashes a forcible deadly spirit through an ancient Samoan tattoo tool. Now marked for death, he will need to uncover the source of the evil in order to save his new love, and recover his own soul.

THE WIG: Genius

A young woman is struggling against cancer and her sister decides that she should take her home so that she really can enjoy what little time she has left rather than to spend it in a hospital. She buys a wig for her so that she can go out without having to feel ashamed of herself what she doesn’t know is that the wig is cursed.

TEX SAYS: Homicidal Hairpiece crawls across floor of it’s own propulsion! It’s not as bad as it sounds, but it’s hardly a touchstone in the Asian Horror pantheon.