Movies
[Review] MTV’s ‘Death Valley’ Episode 1
With a pedigree that includes My Super Psycho Sweet 16 and the lukewarm Teen Wolf reboot, MTV’s previous forays into horror-comedy have proven dubious, at best. Which is why I approached my press screener of MTV’s Death Valley with a skeptic’s eye. I know I’m going out on a limb by writing this, but Death Valley actually isn’t all that bad. In fact…it’s sorta good. Having finally bailed on True Blood this season, I’ve freed up some room to dedicate to a new series. So in a bold new experiment, I’m going to start covering Death Valley on a weekly basis…
Coming across like an amiable mash-up of Reno 911 and The Walking Dead, Death Valley applies the COPS shaky-cam aesthetic to members of the UTF (Undead Task Force), a group of officers investigating zombies, vampires, and werewolves in the San Bernardino Valley.
The loose, improv-y tone is established in the opening moments, as officers Stubek and Pierce open fire on a zombie behind a convenience store, spattering its brains on the wall. As the camera crew vomits in the background, Officer Stubek asks if anybody is interested in a Choco Taco, and when the camera crew hesitates, he helpfully offers a brief description of the ice cream treat.
Back at headquarters, Captain Dashell (Bryan Callen) welcomes new rookie Kirsten Landry (Caity Lotz) to the force, and immediately struggles with the ages-old “Kristen-vs.-Kirsten” dilemma (“Okay, I’m gonna be honest, I’m gonna have a little trouble with that.”) finally settling on “Girsten”. Admonishing his troops to “Get out there and kill somethin`”, Dashell is obviously a captain who cares…while safely sequestered in his own precinct.
Out on the street, Stubek and Pierce stake out a seedy motel for vampire prostitutes, and the resulting bust provokes a bunch of rough talk from Pierce (“Freeze, Vampire Tits!”) as well as the wrath of her vampire pimp, who’s gracefully dispatched with the sharp end of the soundman’s busted boom mike. After returning to the station, Pierce goes missing, leaving his shades, cell phone, and a blood spatter in a conspicuous little pile that hints at his abduction. After brokering a trade with an undead mobster, Stubek hides a pistol in the body cavity of the vampire pimp, and once the trade for Pierce is complete, he pulls his piece and shoots them both out of the mess.
Meanwhile, vain smooth-talker Officer “John-John” Johnson (Texas Battle; Final Destination 3, Wrong Turn 2) patrols the streets of North Hollywood with the tomboyish Officer Rinaldi (Tania Raymonde, Ben’s dead daughter from Lost). Along with an unfortunate soundman, they stumble onto a trio of aggressive zombies in a convenience store.
So far the show seems to be all about a laid-back vibe and random gore, and in that regard, Death Valley completely sticks the landing. Yes, some of the staged humor doesn`t work so well (that scene where Capt. Dashell and Stubek have an aimless conversation while rookie Girsten fights a zombie in the background was pretty damn obvious), but at the same time, many of the throwaway lines are priceless.
Surprisingly, MTV manages to bring some heavy-duty gore to the table (and even a half-exposed female nipple, at least in the pilot screener I received), but the commercial breaks (in accordance with MTV tradition) come at a frequency that borders on the diabolical. Please note, even if you DVR this shit, you’ll spend a good 10 minutes over-correcting your fast-forward like a meth-addled motherfucker.
Check back for coverage of Episode Two next week, and be sure to leave your observations and criticisms (of the series, not necessarily of me or my life choices) in the comments below.
3.5.5 Skulls
Ghostface is back on the big screen this weekend… well, sort of… with the release of Scary Movie, which marks the Wayans brothers’ return to the horror spoof franchise for the first time since Scary Movie 2 back in the day. It’s likely to be the talk of the horror community for the weekend, but don’t overlook the other six genre movies that were freshly unleashed today.
Here’s all the new horror that released on Friday, June 5, 2026.
The horror spoof franchise is back with Scary Movie now playing in theaters!
Marlon Wayans (“Shorty”), Shawn Wayans (“Ray”), Anna Faris (“Cindy”), and Regina Hall (“Brenda”) reunite for the new Scary Movie, with the cast also including Dave Sheridan, Lochlyn Munro, Cheri Oteri, Chris Elliott, Jon Abrahams, Damon Wayans Jr., Gregg Wayans, Kim Wayans, Benny Zielke, Cameron Scott Roberts, Heidi Gardner, Olivia Rose Keegan, Ruby Snowber, Savannah Lee Nassif, Sydney Park, and Felissa Rose.
Twenty-six years after outrunning a suspiciously familiar masked killer (“Ghostface”), the Core Four are back in the killer’s crosshairs and no horror movie IP is safe…
Scary Movie will slash through reboots, remakes, requels, prequels, sequels, spin-offs, elevated horror, origin stories, anything with the word legacy in it, and every “final chapter” that absolutely isn’t. A whole lot has changed in the horror genre since the Wayans Brothers were in charge of the franchise; their involvement ended with Scary Movie 2 back in 2001!
Michael Tiddes (A Haunted House) directs Scary Movie 6 from a script written by Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, original Scary Movie director Keenen Ivory Wayans, Craig Wayans (Scary Movie 2), and Rick Alvarez (A Haunted House).
From IFC, shark attack movie Chum is now available on Digital.
Alice Eve (Haunting of Queen Mary) stars in shark attack movie alongside Eric Michael Cole, Jim Klock, Elle Haymond, Lisa Yaro, Johnny Gaffney, and Sarah Siadat.
This one sounds very similar to last year’s Dangerous Animals…
Here’s the plot: “A newlywed couple joins friends on a Mediterranean yacht excursion, only to find themselves caught between a predatory shark and a psychopathic killer in their midst-transforming a sun-drenched escape into a fight for survival.”
Jonathan Zuck directs Chum, from a script by Jonathan Zuck and Joe Leone.
Samara Weaving (Ready or Not 2: Here I Come) and Kyle Gallner (Strange Darling) come together in Carolina Caroline, a sexy crime thriller now playing in theaters.
It’s not a horror movie, mind you, but it’s worth a mention here all the same.
Kyra Sedgwick (Family Movie) and Jon Gries also star in the romantic crime thriller.
Director Adam Carter Rehmeier’s film stars Samara Weaving as Caroline Daniels, whose desire to leave her small Texas town brings her into the orbit of a charismatic con man (Kyle Gallner), and together they weave a path of crime and passion across the American Southeast.
Adam Rehmeier previously directed the films Dinner in America and Snack Shack.
Tom Dean wrote the screenplay for Carolina Caroline.
Similar to Steven Spielberg’s upcoming big screen blockbuster Disclosure Day, Signal One explores humankind’s enduring question: what if we aren’t alone in the universe?
The sci-fi thriller is now available on Digital.
Isabelle Fuhrman (Orphan), Josh Hutcherson (Five Nights at Freddy’s), David Thewlis (Harry Potter), Raoul Bhaneja (Possessor), Emma Ho (“The Expanse”), and Dennis Quaid (The Substance) star in Signal One from director Jonathan Sobol (The Art of the Steal).
When tech billionaire Sam Houston (Quaid) hires the brilliant computer scientist Annika (Fuhrman), she ventures to an isolated facility run by the brilliant, nihilistic creator of LITTLEMOUTH, a machine which can communicate with alien intelligence.
Annika soon learns some humanity-altering facts: that we are not alone in the universe, that alien intelligences are communicating around us at every moment, and that we are likely too primitive to even remotely understand what they are trying to tell us.
When the goal of the endeavor shifts from listening to talking back, the project rapidly devolves into chaos. With contact comes consequences, and soon Annika and the team must work to ensure the very survival of our species.
A schoolyard dare becomes an urban legend in the creepypasta-inspired horror anthology The Summoning. The indie film is now available on Digital from Brainstorm Media.
“A babysitting gig becomes a nightmare of urban legend when three teens summon Baby Blue. Survival depends on uncovering the past to escape a mother’s wrath from beyond the grave.”
Felipe Vargas (Rosario, Hive), Sergio Gonzalez, Brandon Piskorik, Corey Benson Powers, and Brian Sepanzyk direct the segments. Valeria San Martín, Justina Ceballos, Daniela Flombaum, Nannu Spannauss, Agustín Olcese, and Giovanni Onetti star.
The Summoning is written by Camilo Zaffora.
Happy Death Day actress Jessica Rothe stars as a mom struggling to keep her grip on her sanity and memory in the mind-bending Affection, now available on Digital at home.
In Affection, “Afflicted by a mysterious condition that resets her memory, Ellie becomes trapped in a cyclical nightmare with a man who claims to be her husband. She soon must uncover the horrifying truth of her existence—before she forgets it all again.“
Joseph Cross (“Big Little Lies”) and Julianna Layne (“Chicago P.D.”) also star in the sci-fi horror thriller. Affection marks the feature debut by writer/director BT Meza.
Daniel Kurland wrote in his review out of the film’s premiere, “Affection is steeped in existential questions and fears that plague modern society, while it embraces the ethos of the ’80s through bold body horror. Add to that Rothe’s revelatory performance, and Affection is a hidden gem that will connect with your mind, body, and soul.”
Lucile Hadžihalilović’s latest dark fairy tale, The Ice Tower, loosely reimagines Hans Christian Andersen’s fable “The Snow Queen,” and it’s now streaming on Shudder.
In the ’70s set film, “Jeanne, a 15-year-old orphan, witnesses the shoot of a film adaptation of the fairy tale The Snow Queen, and she becomes fascinated by its star Cristina (Marion Cotillard), an actress who is just as mysterious and alluring as the Queen she is playing.“
Clara Pacini stars as Jeanne. August Diehl and Marine Gesbert also star in The Ice Tower, and look for a cameo from director Gaspar Noé (Climax, Irréversible).
“For me, The Ice Tower solidified Lucile Hadžihalilović’s place amongst the most fascinating creators of fairy tales today,” said distributor Yellow Veil Pictures co-founder Joe Yanick.
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