Editorials
10 Horror Games And The Bands That Should’ve Scored Them
Sometimes I get really bored. I’m only human, and like the rest of you, there are times when I need a little entertainment. During one of my recent fits of boredom where I was lying naked on the floor of my room in a sticky puddle of dried up Mountain Dew while staring up at the ceiling wondering what wordsmith came up with the word ‘orange,’ I decided to come up with a little game — something to fill my time so I didn’t have to finally concede to what the voices in my head were telling me to do. For the unaware, at Bloody Disgusting lies a mythical creature known as a Jonathan Barkan. He runs the music section on BD with a tyrannical fist and a sweet moustache. If I were reviewing Jon, his Baby Factor would go something like ”If Albert Wesker and a Big Daddy got together to make sweet, sweet love inside a record store, Jonny B would be their musically inclined offspring.”
All that is a long-winded way of saying he knows his music, and he also happens to share my love of video games. So let’s get back to the game I was teasing earlier. I gave Jon ten video game franchises and asked him who he thought would be best suited to score the soundtracks for that series. For example, if Akira Yamaoka had never joined Konami to craft the incredible scores the Silent Hill series is known for, who could’ve taken his place? Find out whom he chose for Silent Hill, as well as nine others, after the jump.
Jonny: Can I first of all say that my Baby Factor is one of the most flattering things I’ve ever heard/read about me in, well, ever? Seriously, I’m blushing so hard that I might as well be a rosy-cheeked maiden in a fairy tale. Are you my knight in shining armor Adam? ARE YOU??? Because this dragon isn’t going to slay itself!
Adam: I meant every word. Now let’s kick some dragon hiney.
10. Silent Hill, By…
Portishead
Jonny: Alright, so I’m sure many readers were convinced that I was going to go with Trent Reznor or Nine Inch Nails. But let’s be honest, that was FAR too obvious a choice. Instead, I’m going to go with the dark trip-hop group Portishead for the mysterious, terrifying Silent Hill. Portishead is a group that has always had a darker edge to them, using tones that easily cover the mechanical, industrial aspect that we’ve come to know and love from the terrifying town. They also cover the same sense of nostalgic yearning and beauty. Just listen to the album Dummy and you’ll understand where I’m coming from with this choice.
Adam: I was hoping you’d really hit it out of the ball park–or in this case, amphitheater–with the first choice and you totally did. I love me some Portishead. They have that delicious mix of haunting and beautiful tracks that is a little eerie, but at the same time oddly soothing. I could totally imagine that as a backdrop to my excursions into that foggy town.
9. Fatal Frame, By…
Krzysztof Penderecki
Jonny: If you’re a horror fan and you don’t know the name Krzysztof Penderecki, I implore you to pay more attention to the composers of these horror films that you know and love. The man was responsible for several of the pieces that were used in Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining and he was also responsible for me soiling countless drawers while watching said movie.
I chose Penderecki for the Fatal Frame series because the game series never had a strong technological edge. As a matter of fact, the games were rooted in much more organic environments, ones that can only be properly represented by organic instruments. That is where Penderecki comes in. He composes music that utilizes analog instruments but twists everything into something so horrifying, so unsettling, that it causes my skin to bypass crawling and immediately start running for its damn life! Fitting music for one of the scariest game franchises around!
Adam: I’m ashamed to say this, but until recently I didn’t know who Krzysztof Penderecki was. Now that I’m in the know, I’m totally ready to spread some approval sauce on this choice. The next time I visit that creepy secluded village in Fatal Frame II I might have to do so with ‘The Dream of Jacob’ playing gently in the background. Penderecki’s work would also mesh well with Dead Space, though it’d probably sound too similar to what that series already sounds like.
8. Condemned, By…
Rammstein
Jonny: Condemned is a series that is violent, aggressive, brooding, and in your face. What other band can match the atmosphere other than Rammstein? They have the same elements in their music, consistently proving that there is great intelligence and wit lurking beneath their intensity.
Adam: I went through a Rammstein phase in high school, around the time I had blue hair and was experimenting with black tar heroin (one of those is a lie, I’ll leave it up to you to guess which one). I love things in my face, always have. Maybe that’s why I love Condemned so much, because of how brutal and gritty it is. Rammstein is a fantastic match with the crazy shit that goes on in that game. Speaking of which, where the crap is Condemned 3?
7. Left 4 Dead, By…
Ennio Morricone
Jonny: The second composer to make this list, Ennio Morricone has scored some of the greatest films in celluloid history, including the brilliant western The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly as well as John Carpenter’s The Thing. It is specifically these two movies and their scores that came to mind when thinking about the Left 4 Dead series. The games have a rebellious, almost Grindhouse feel that a western-tinged score would delightfully accent while, at the same time, requiring a sinister, sci-fi/horror layer to promote the unending zombie hordes.
Adam: I’m familiar with and love The Thing’s soundtrack, but I had to look this guy up too. I would love to hear what Morricone’s rendition of the Tank’s theme would sound like.
6. Resident Evil, By…
Marilyn Manson
Jonny: I was hesitant to pick Manson for Resident Evil because it’s such an obvious choice. After all, he co-scored several pieces for the first RE movie. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that he really is the perfect choice. He’s able to build the creepy atmosphere through his industrial synths while bringing the action and violence through his heavier pieces. No doubt about it, Manson is the guy for Resident Evil.
Adam: I am all for this. Say what you will about the Resident Evil movies, but I loved the soundtrack for the original. The main theme is creepy, weird, and super catchy–like a certain virus, get it?–and I still listen to it every now and then. The tracks he helped score for the first movie have a surprisingly wide range, with some being crazier and more in your face, and a few that are a little more ominous and unsettling. I want to marry this choice, then I want to bed it and even after a ten year relationship with it, I’ll still love it.
5. Dead Space, By…
Trent Reznor
Jonny: And HERE is where the Nine Inch Nails genius makes his appearance! You see, when I think of Dead Space, there are a few things that immediately pop into my mind: Alien yet familiar. Mechanical yet organic. Qualities that I feel are perfectly exemplified by the music of Mr. Reznor. He would be able to take the terrifying Sprawl and give it a musical life that would do nothing short of making you crap your pants. Guaranteed.
Adam: Fuck. Ok, remember all that stuff I said about the Marilyn Manson/Resident Evil choice? Well, take that, multiply it by a crazy big number and you’ll have an idea of how much I love this choice. My ears have told me time and time again how they’d like to have Reznor’s musical babies and the idea of a Reznor/Dead Space combo has my nether regions all aflutter. Seriously. They’re aflutterin’ like crazy.
4. House Of The Dead, By…
Rob Zombie
Jonny: Let’s be completely honest with ourselves here, okay? Rob Zombie’s music was never scary. Hell, it was never even all that creepy. But god DAMN is it fun to blast at unreal volumes! Same with the House Of The Dead series. The games were never scary but they were absurd amounts of fun to play. And both had some slightly cheesy qualities about them: HotD has the terrible voice acting while Zombie’s music videos were almost comedic (just watch Dragula and get back to me). If I’m gonna play some HotD, Zombie is what’s gonna be my musical backdrop.
Adam: Totally agree. Rob Zombie’s music is fun, bizarre, and a little cheesy, and these are all words I would use to describe House of the Dead (I’d only have to replace “a little cheesy” with “brimming with a plethora of many very distinct varieties of cheese”). I’m actually a little surprised this hasn’t happened already, with how obvious this mash-up is.
3. Bioshock, By…
Tool
Jonny: This one gave me a bit of trouble. After all, how can you replace the iconic 30’s and 40’s music of Bioshock and still maintain that amazing atmosphere of beauty, depth, and intelligence? Oh, wait a minute, Tool is the perfect fit for that! Disjointed, spreading into many directions, heavily layered, shifting from beautiful melodies to violent chaos, Tool is a perfect example of what Bioshock is presenting to the player.
Adam: The only tool I want in my BioShock is me and my wrench! Err, wait…
I didn’t see this one coming, but I can see the method to your madness.
2. Doom, By…
Alice In Chains
Jonny: Work with me here. I know that when many of you think of Doom, it’s just endless waves of Demonic hordes, mindless violence, and tons of gore. But if you get down to it, the concept of Hell on Earth is kinda terrifying, the game has a very sludgy, dirty atmosphere about it, and the aggression is palpable. Kinda just like listening to an Alice in Chains record. Yeah, the band does some mellow tracks and they might not play super brutal metal but, my oh my, is their sludgy, filthy sound something perfect for the dark hallways of Mars.
Adam: I thought if you were going to pull out the hardcore Transylvanian black death metal, it’d be with Doom. I actually like this choice, and there’s still time for Alice In Chains to sign on to compose Doom 4, which better get revealed real soon or Alice isn’t going to be the only one in chains.
Also, I don’t know what that means.
1. F.E.A.R., By…
Deftones
Jonny: FEAR is a game that, much like Doom, is built around violence and atmosphere. Deftones have proven time after time that their take on alt-metal is all about capturing emotions rather than just doing something “weird”. They blast out violent metal as much as they build an atmosphere or almost choking pain, nostalgia, melancholy, and fear (pun sorta intended). Were it me, I’d call these guys up for some viciously sweet tunes for FE4R (should that ever come out).
Adam: It better come out, otherwise someone at Warner Bros is going to have something real to FEAR. Hot damn, I’m on a roll today. Oh, and good choice sir. F.E.A.R. could use a little extra emotion. F.E.A.R. 3 replaced a majority of the subtlety and creep factor so it could rely more heavily on action and those stupid blue soldiers that zapped reinforcements onto the battlefield with their blue teleportation bolt… things. I really wish I was making that up. Perhaps the Deftones could ground a bit, maybe help return the series to its roots in shit-your-pants terror.
So reader, now’s the time to tell us what you think of Jon’s choices. Agree? Disagree? Don’t care? If you’re feeling super generous, you should totes tell us what bands you would’ve chosen. That would make Jon real happy.
Toss Adam an email, or follow him on Twitter and Bloody Disgusting
Follow Jonny on Twitter or on Bloody Disgusting
Due to a complex series of anthropological mishaps, the Wayans Brothers are a huge deal in Brazil. Around these parts, White Chicks is considered a national treasure by a lot of people, so it stands to reason that Brazilian audiences would continue to accompany the Wayans’ comedic output long after North America had stopped taking them seriously as comedic titans.
This is the only reason why I originally watched Michael Tiddes and Marlon Wayans’ 2013 horror spoof A Haunted House – appropriately known as “Paranormal Inactivity” in South America – despite having abandoned this kind of movie shortly after the excellent Scary Movie 3. However, to my complete and utter amazement, I found myself mostly enjoying this unhinged parody of Found Footage films almost as much as the iconic spoofs that spear-headed the genre during the 2000s. And with Paramount having recently announced a reboot of the Scary Movie franchise, I think this is the perfect time to revisit the divisive humor of A Haunted House and maybe figure out why this kind of film hasn’t been popular in a long time.
Before we had memes and internet personalities to make fun of movie tropes for free on the internet, parody movies had been entertaining audiences with meta-humor since the very dawn of cinema. And since the genre attracted large audiences without the need for a serious budget, it made sense for studios to encourage parodies of their own productions – which is precisely what happened with Miramax when they commissioned a parody of the Scream franchise, the original Scary Movie.
The unprecedented success of the spoof (especially overseas) led to a series of sequels, spin-offs and rip-offs that came along throughout the 2000s. While some of these were still quite funny (I have a soft spot for 2008’s Superhero Movie), they ended up flooding the market much like the Guitar Hero games that plagued video game stores during that same timeframe.
You could really confuse someone by editing this scene into Paranormal Activity.
Of course, that didn’t stop Tiddes and Marlon Wayans from wanting to make another spoof meant to lampoon a sub-genre that had been mostly overlooked by the Scary Movie series – namely the second wave of Found Footage films inspired by Paranormal Activity. Wayans actually had an easier time than usual funding the picture due to the project’s Found Footage presentation, with the format allowing for a lower budget without compromising box office appeal.
In the finished film, we’re presented with supposedly real footage recovered from the home of Malcom Johnson (Wayans). The recordings themselves depict a series of unexplainable events that begin to plague his home when Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) decides to move in, with the couple slowly realizing that the difficulties of a shared life are no match for demonic shenanigans.
In practice, this means that viewers are subjected to a series of familiar scares subverted by wacky hijinks, with the flick featuring everything from a humorous recreation of the iconic fan-camera from Paranormal Activity 3 to bizarre dance numbers replacing Katy’s late-night trances from Oren Peli’s original movie.
Your enjoyment of these antics will obviously depend on how accepting you are of Wayans’ patented brand of crass comedy. From advanced potty humor to some exaggerated racial commentary – including a clever moment where Malcom actually attempts to move out of the titular haunted house because he’s not white enough to deal with the haunting – it’s not all that surprising that the flick wound up with a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes despite making a killing at the box office.
However, while this isn’t my preferred kind of humor, I think the inherent limitations of Found Footage ended up curtailing the usual excesses present in this kind of parody, with the filmmakers being forced to focus on character-based comedy and a smaller scale story. This is why I mostly appreciate the love-hate rapport between Kisha and Malcom even if it wouldn’t translate to a healthy relationship in real life.
Of course, the jokes themselves can also be pretty entertaining on their own, with cartoony gags like the ghost getting high with the protagonists (complete with smoke-filled invisible lungs) and a series of silly The Exorcist homages towards the end of the movie. The major issue here is that these legitimately funny and genre-specific jokes are often accompanied by repetitive attempts at low-brow humor that you could find in any other cheap comedy.
Not a good idea.
Not only are some of these painfully drawn out “jokes” incredibly unfunny, but they can also be remarkably offensive in some cases. There are some pretty insensitive allusions to sexual assault here, as well as a collection of secondary characters defined by negative racial stereotypes (even though I chuckled heartily when the Latina maid was revealed to have been faking her poor English the entire time).
Cinephiles often claim that increasingly sloppy writing led to audiences giving up on spoof movies, but the fact is that many of the more beloved examples of the genre contain some of the same issues as later films like A Haunted House – it’s just that we as an audience have (mostly) grown up and are now demanding more from our comedy. However, this isn’t the case everywhere, as – much like the Elves from Lord of the Rings – spoof movies never really died, they simply diminished.
A Haunted House made so much money that they immediately started working on a second one that released the following year (to even worse reviews), and the same team would later collaborate once again on yet another spoof, 50 Shades of Black. This kind of film clearly still exists and still makes a lot of money (especially here in Brazil), they just don’t have the same cultural impact that they used to in a pre-social-media-humor world.
At the end of the day, A Haunted House is no comedic masterpiece, failing to live up to the laugh-out-loud thrills of films like Scary Movie 3, but it’s also not the trainwreck that most critics made it out to be back in 2013. Comedy is extremely subjective, and while the raunchy humor behind this flick definitely isn’t for everyone, I still think that this satirical romp is mostly harmless fun that might entertain Found Footage fans that don’t take themselves too seriously.
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