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The World Needs Another ‘Dino Crisis’

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I have never been more ready for dinosaurs to be scary again. Nature didn’t take its time building impossibly large creatures made of muscle and teeth so a legion of geeks could spend a couple hundred hours building bigger, toothier versions made of CG and Red Bull. The Velociraptor isn’t a trainable attack dog, it’s a “clever girl” that disembowels you with its foot scythe.

Our shameful mistreatment of a creature like the Tyrannosaurus Rex may beat Jurassic Park III as the worst atrocity we’ve committed on Dino-kind. This is the same toothy bastard that could swallow you whole after eating three quarters of a goat and have more than enough energy to chase Jeff Goldblum — Jeff fucking Goldblum — on a speeding truck despite not being even a little bit hungry.

I’m no scientist, but I’m pretty sure it was a crippling fear of being eaten whole that inspired the Quetzalcoatlus to learn how to glide, and that thing was basically a giant bird monster with a 35-foot wingspan and a sword for a head that we named after a god.

The point I’m trying to make is dinosaurs are super cool and they don’t deserve to have their reputation sullied any longer. If we’re going to set things right, Capcom will need to get the ball rolling with another Dino Crisis.

It’s true. I’ve examined this problem with my journalism, and this really is the only way.

The timing is right for a horror series like Dino Crisis to put the terrible back in terrible lizard, only not at all in the same way Dino Crisis 3 did. Horror games are big right now and dinosaurs are beginning to make a comeback thanks to the blockbusting blockbuster that was Jurassic World.

Looking at the success of Ark: Survival Evolved, and even The Stomping Land before its meteoric downfall, could be a sign that gamers are ready to see Dino Crisis return like the video game equivalent of a Dino-Jesus so it can save us from the pitiful zoo animals we now call dinosaurs.

If you’re with me on this, let me know in the comments. We’ve already squeezed the stubbornness out of Capcom until they agreed to a Resident Evil 2 remake. Surely there’s another Dino Crisis in there somewhere, we only have to squeeze hard enough.

DinoChomp

Also, Dino Crisis 2 turns 15 today, and what a fine anniversary gift it’d be to see this series return.

Come on, Capcom. Don’t be a dick about this.

YTSUBHUB2015

Gamer, writer, terrible dancer, longtime toast enthusiast. Legend has it Adam was born with a controller in one hand and the Kraken's left eye in the other. Legends are often wrong.

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Editorials

6 Underrated Alien Invasion Thrillers To Watch After ‘Disclosure Day’

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alien horror movie - Underrated Alien Invasion Thrillers
Extraterrestrial (2014)

It’s been 75 years since The Thing From Another World first warned us to “watch the skies”, and filmgoers have done just that by showing up to multiple instances of extraterrestrial contact on the big screen. This makes sense, as a recent CBS news poll estimated that 63% of Americans believe in intelligent life on other planets, and the ongoing disclosure movement aims to raise that number with each passing day.

With Steven Spielberg’s Disclosure Day leaving many genre fans hungry for more alien footage (preferably of the spooky variety), today I’d like to share a list recommending six underrated alien invasion thrillers for your viewing pleasure. After all, regardless of whether or not you believe that we’re alone in the universe, it can be fun to dream about the worst-case scenario if our cosmic neighbors ever decide to visit.

For the purposes of this list, we’ll be focusing on lesser-known invasion stories rather than the popular extraterrestrials of franchises like Alien and Close Encounters of the Third (or even Fourth) Kind. That being said, don’t forget to comment below with your own alien favorites if you think we missed a particularly thrilling movie.

While it won’t be featured in this article, I’d highly recommend checking out Dean Alioto’s UFO Abduction/The McPherson Tape if you’re up for some ufology-inspired found footage thrills.

With that out of the way, onto the list!


6. The Arrival (1996)

Not to be confused with Denis Villeneuve’s Academy Award-winning Amy Adams vehicle about learning to communicate peacefully with extraterrestrial life, David Twohy’s The Arrival is a much more straightforward (but no less entertaining) genre romp where Charlie Sheen faces a global conspiracy involving hostile alien invaders.

It’s not exactly up there with Close Encounters or even Independence Day, but Twohy’s conspiratorial thriller plays out like an exceptionally fun episode of The X-Files that I’d recommend to sci-fi/horror fans who don’t mind a little bit of wonky CGI and 90s excess alongside their alien thrills.


5. Extraterrestrial (2014)

The Vicious Brothers made a name for themselves with the success of 2011’s Grave Encounters, but that was far from the Canadian duo’s only collaboration. And while it’s not exactly a fan favorite, I always point out 2014’s Extraterrestrial as one of their most underrated projects simply because I agree with the filmmakers’ opinion that there aren’t enough ‘cool alien abduction movies’ out there.

Admittedly, the majority of the picture functions like a run-of-the-mill creature feature with paper-thin characters and familiar horror tropes, but I’d argue that the cosmically-terrifying final act elevates the experience to new and memorable heights. The movie also boasts great performances by both Michael Ironside and Emily Perkins – a combination that more than makes up for the occasionally janky CGI.


4. Alien Raiders (2008)

Alien Raiders

Director Ben Rock has gone on record lamenting how his John-Carpenter-inspired creature feature was forcefully renamed from Supermarket to the painfully obvious Alien Raiders (a change which likely resulted in many potential viewers skipping out on the experience), but the new title doesn’t change the fact that this single-location thriller is something of a hidden gem.

Taking place entirely within a supermarket, Alien Raiders tells the story of an ensemble of customers and employees who are taken hostage by a group of armed men looking for something far more dangerous than an easy payout. I won’t get into details in order to avoid spoiling the experience, but I’d highly recommend this criminally underseen flick to fans of John Carpenter and the Resident Evil games.


3. Phoenix Forgotten (2017)

You’d think that a Ridley-Scott-produced retelling of one of the most infamous real-life UFO sightings of all time would have a bigger following, but I rarely see Justin Barber’s Found Footage period piece brought up during discussions about extraterrestrial-focused horror movies.

This is a huge shame, as Phoenix Forgotten is just as spooky as it is convincing, with this well-researched dive into the Phoenix Lights incident benefiting from surprisingly believable special effects as well as an appropriately horrific finale.


2. Communion (1989)

I wouldn’t blame you for disregarding Whitley Strieber’s controversial book about his alleged close encounter as sensationalist slop, but I’d argue that Phillipe Mora’s 1989 adaptation of these events is much better than the source material. After all, the movie works as a standalone piece of speculative fiction while also benefiting from an incredible performance by the one and only Christopher Walken!

Mora’s take on Communion may not be particularly scary, but the film is still an unforgettable character study regardless of whether or not the abduction really happened. Not only that, but the flick also paved the way for plenty of future sci-fi stories where the extraterrestrial invaders aren’t as evil as they initially appear.


1. Altered (2006)

Originally envisioned as a Sam Raimi-style horror-comedy titled Probed, Eduardo Sánchez (of The Blair Witch Project fame) eventually realized that it would be much more interesting to turn the film into a serious exploration of the emotional aftermath of a traumatic abduction incident.

That’s how we got Altered, a clever inversion of the standard abduction narrative that follows a group of troubled friends as they capture and experiment on an alien in order to enact revenge for their own abduction years prior.

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