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A Xenomorph Cookie Jar Exists For Some Reason
For only $45 you can own a Xenomorph Warrior bust that secretly houses your favorite brand of cookies.
It makes absolutely zero sense other than another way to show every visitor that you’re the number one Alien fan (good luck, because I already am).
The 12″ cookie jar, which should be filled with Matt’s peanut butter brand, can be scored over at Think Geek. It’s ceramic design was created by Paul Harding and is officially licensed (thank you Fox!)
“Aliens. Those darn Xenomorphs are always trying to shove something down the throats of humans. You know, maybe if they made the Chestburster embryos look like cookies, the Facehuggers could get cushy desk jobs. Or, you know, something else they have the skillset for. They’d probably make great massage therapists, what with all those little appendages.
“But we digress. The raison d’etre of this Warrior Alien Ceramic Cookie Jar is to bring you cookies. Preferably without raisin d’etres, because we always think they’re chocolate chips and then we’re all disappointed, but we don’t want to throw the cookie away because it’s a cookie and we took it and everything, but it’s not like we can put it back either now that our fingers have been all over it, so then we have to eat the dang raisins that should have been chocolate chips. Stupid fruit.
“Dang it. We digressed again. Big warrior Xenomorph. Wants to hold your cookies. Totally not going to kill you and use your body as a host. Much.”
All of us here at Bloody Disgusting are deeply sad to learn that The Blob director Chuck Russell has passed away at 74 years old.
Russell’s career began with his directorial debut, 1987’s A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors.
The multihyphenate film director, screenwriter, and producer is best known for helming 1994 comedy The Mask starring Jim Carrey, Arnold Schwarzenegger actioner Eraser, and adventure spinoff The Scorpion King. The latter served as the first leading role for Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
The filmmaker left an indelible mark on horror with his ANOES sequel, 1988’s The Blob, and 2000’s Bless the Child.
Russell’s final film credit is 2024’s Witchboard remake starring Madison Iseman (I Know What You Did Last Summer), Aaron Dominguez (Only Murders in the Building), and Jamie Campbell Bower (“Stranger Things”).
It marked Russell’s return to horror after a lengthy hiatus, and he shared sequel hopes to Bloody Disgusting in an interview ahead of the remake’s release: “I got to design the board with real mystical symbols and things that I know represent good and evil, and where that board takes us if the audiences respond to the film, and I hope they will; I know it’s out there for you guys, but the sequel is a world we’ll get to go a little further. That’s sure the intention.”
He also recently expressed interest in returning to the franchise that began his career.
TMZ notes that Russell passed away at his San Diego-area home.
We send our deepest condolences to Chuck Russell’s family, friends, and fans.
Director, Co-Writer & Producer Chuck Russell behind the scenes of the horror film, WITCHBOARD. Photo courtesy of The Avenue and Atlas Distribution
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