Movies
My Bloody Valentine 3-D (remake)
“There’s nothing sweeter that watching a film that knows exactly what it is. At no point does Patrick Lussier’s MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D pretend to be anything but a mindless slasher film straight out of your DVD collection. The film is jammed with great kills, loads of gore and plenty of laughs and is sure to keep the hardcore horror nut entertained for most of its 101 minute running time.”
*Minor spoilers follow in 5th paragraph
There’s nothing sweeter that watching a film that knows exactly what it is. At no point does Patrick Lussier’s MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D pretend to be anything but a mindless slasher film straight out of your DVD collection. The film is jammed with great kills, loads of gore and plenty of laughs and is sure to keep the hardcore horror nut entertained for most of its 101 minute running time.
In the remake of the classic ‘80s film of the same name (sans 3-D), Tom (Jensen Ackles) returns to his hometown on the tenth anniversary of the Valentine’s night massacre that claimed the life of 22 people. Instead of a homecoming, Tom finds himself suspected of committing the murders while he claims that “Harry Warden,” the murderer from 10 years ago who was allegedly killed, has returned from the dead and is the murderer.
The best way to describe Lionsgate’s film is as a ‘90s style whodunit with an ‘80s feel. The shoddy locations, cookie-cutter characters and generic “who’s the killer?” plot were derived straight out the ‘90s, where films like SCREAM, I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER and URBAN LEGENDS mucked up the cinema. And yet, hiding behind those beautiful blue eyes was the heart of the ‘80s showing up right there in a Valentine’s Day chocolate box.
It all begins with ‘80s horror legend Tom Atkins (THE FOG, CREEPSHOW, HALLOWEEN III, NIGHT OF THE CREEPS and ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK) nearly stealing the show as Detective Burke. Writers Todd Farmer and Zane Smith never cheapen his performance to that of a gimmick and give him solid on-camera time that’s as blissful as watching someone get a pickaxe to the skull.
Speaking of pickaxes to the skull, what I loved about MBV was that there was obvious thought put behind the kills. It’s annoying when a character like Michael Myers has a knife and literally just stabs or slashes every victim’s throat with a load audio sting in the background. It’s obvious that Smith, Farmer and Lussier are horror fans because they really took some time in coming up with some of the most unique and fun kill scenes ever to grace the big screen. There are some seriously f*cked up scenes that range from midget murder to watching a naked chick run around hiding from the killer for nearly five whole minutes. While it might sound cheesy, the fact of the matter is it’s fun. Even writer Todd Farmer cameos (in one of my favorite scenes) as a douche bag trucker who gets what’s coming to him.
While the movie is pure popcorn entertainment, it still has its share of flaws that range from its pacing issues to the poor TV acting and line delivery. It’s also expected that we have a high level of suspension of disbelief as characters age ten years and look exactly the same and police officers continually go off on their own without calling for backup. One of the most obvious downfalls of the film are the cheap locations and lack of extras that make the film look more like a fantasy than something that would take place in the real world.
Even through all the flaws, there is enough blood, guts, gore and laughs to get you through the entire film. But wait a second, MBV was in 3-D, wasn’t it?! It sure was and the fact that the 3-D isn’t what makes this film good is where it gains its gold star (or smiley face, whichever you prefer). The 3-D aspects of MBV are just an added bonus; they’ve taken a fun film and thrown it in 3-D just for the f*ck of it. While there are a few gimmicky 3-dimensional moments, it impressed me that Lussier didn’t resort to the cheap shots just to make it entertaining. The new technology is pretty incredible: instead of everything coming “out” of the screening, everything within it becomes three-dimensional. The movie was filled with depth that made it feel as if they were acting the entire movie out right in front of you. But the most impressive part of the whole experience for me was that there were no trails, and it was crisp and clear (if only the cinematography was better).
The shocking revelation with MBV is that the film is good with or without the 3-D. Obviously I hope you get a chance to experience the film in all of its 3-dimensional glory, but even if you miss out, you’re still in for one hell of a great time. Grab a giant bucket of popcorn, sit back and enjoy one of the most entertaining theater experiences you’ll have in a long time (or at least until FINAL DESTINATION hits theaters in 3-D).
The 30th edition of the Fantasia International Film Festival commences this week in Montreal, running from July 16 through August 2. It’s set to unleash 125 features and 200+ shorts, from new premieres to festival favorites.
That includes screenings of upcoming theatrical releases Buddy, Colony, Her Private Hell, Hot Spot, and Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma, as well as retrospective screenings of Pontypool and Gozu. But so much of the fun of Fantasia is the new film discoveries and surprises, and this year’s fest comes packed with potential.
Here are eight horror movies to keep an eye out for at this year’s fest.
Big Break
New York’s cult comedy darlings Simple Town are carving their way into horror with this comedic feature. In Big Break, Will (Will Niedmann), Caroline (Caro Yost), and Felipe (Felipe Di Poi Tamargo, Blood Barn) reunite with their estranged ex-collaborator Sam (Samuel Lanier) years after their sketch group disbanded, hoping to get in his good graces to appear in the sequel of his hit film. But dark secrets are exposed during their weekend getaway, forcing these washed-up comedians to learn what it really means to kill to get their big break. Art imitating life in a witty horror-comedy sounds like a blast.
Corpus
An invite to a secluded party with his longtime crush and rising film star instead unfurls a strange nightmare of sensual and supernatural proportions. Corrin Evans’ feature debut is set in the summer of 1998, capturing a stylish, transgressive web of seduction and terror. The film stars Jeff Wahlberg (“Euphoria”), Brodie Townsend (“Heartbreak High”), Michael Vlamis (“Pools”), Lily Cowles (Antebellum), Nuha Jes Izman (“Yellowjackets”) and Ching Valdes-Aran (The Equalizer).
Freaks Part II
Final Destination Bloodlines filmmakers Zach Lipovsky & Adam Stein return to their mutant roots with their follow-up to 2018’s Freaks. Picking up several years later, Mary (Amanda Crew, Freaks) and her daughter Chloe (Lorelei Olivia Mote, Riddle of Fire) are on the run from authorities, masking their superpowered abilities and identities. But revenge will complicate matters in a sequel that teases a severe escalation in bloodshed. The Conjuring‘s Lili Taylor also stars.
Junction Row
Canadian horror icon Katharine Isabelle stars as Juno, a recovering addict who leaves a fringe housing compound for a better life, leaving her beloved Ruby behind. When she learns Ruby has gone missing, she discovers Junction Row has been overrun with criminals and something far more horrifying. The creature feature marks the feature debut of director Ashlea Wessel, who co-writes Junction Row with Clown in a Cornfield author Adam Cesare and Matt Serafini.
The Last Temptation of Becky
Becky Hooper (Lulu Wilson) escalates her ultra-violent annihilation of Neo-Nazis with a new CIA mission that sends her to Poland to infiltrate a family of innkeepers who are running a tourist venture at The Wolf’s Lair, Hitler’s WWII bunker. To prevent the Fourth Reich, Becky takes matters into her own bloody hands. Jenn Wexler (The Sacrifice Game, The Ranger) directs this trilogy capper from a script she co-wrote with Matt Angel (The Wrath of Becky), from a story by Angel andSuzanne Coote (The Wrath of Becky). Neil Patrick Harris also stars.
Los Vampires
Lost actor Henry Ian Cusick and Spectre actor Thomas Kretschmann lead as uncanny surrogates for Carlos Villarías and Bela Lugosi in this fantastical fictionalized account of the making of George Melford’s classic horror film, one that was shot overnight on the same sets as Tod Browning’s Dracula. The period horror movie is written and directed by Craig Mitchell (Komodo). Daniela Couso (Serial Beauty), Jefferson Mays (Inherent Vice), Oscar Nuñez (“The Office”), and Jorge Diaz (Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones) round out the cast. Watch the intriguing teaser here.
Rubberhead: The Life & Monsters of Steve Johnson
The wild life and incredible career of SFX wizard Steve Johnson (Fright Night, Poltergeist II, An American Werewolf in London, A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master) gets the documentary spotlight from director Nick Taylor. Those familiar with Johnson’s two-book saga Rubberhead: Sex, Drugs and Special FX, which serves as the basis for the documentary, will already know that the artist is a candid raconteur as open about his failures as his successes. Linnea Quigley, John Landis, Tom Holland, and Oscar-winner Bill Corso also contribute as talking heads in this illuminating doc.
Unholy Night
Grandma is back from the dead and ready to commit murder in this holiday horror comedy from writer/director Michael Gabriele. The chaos of an Italian Christmas Eve gets dialed up to a zany, violent degree in the first teaser. Marc Bendavid (“Dark Matter”), Shailene Garnett (“Shadowhunters”), Al Sapienza (“The Sopranos”), Ron Lea (“Orphan Black”), Toni Ellwand (“Hannibal”), Cristina Rosato (Mother!), Jacqueline Robbins (“A Series of Unfortunate Events”), and Joe Pingue (Antiviral) star.
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