Movies
Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (V)
“Featuring characters that can sell bewilderment for comedic and horrific moments, and a script filled with childhood whimsy set in a realistic world, Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale is special in all the right ways.”
While Santa Claus is celebrated as a jolly, bearded Coca-Cola spokesman who flies the entire globe in an evening delivering presents to well-behaved children, he and his holiday are no strangers to horror. Most genre films simply put his suit on an impersonator and have him slash his naughty list in half, but aside from Santa’s Slay, I can’t say I’ve ever seen a Christmas horror flick that actually features an evil St. Nick, let alone explores the myth or where he came from. Lucky for us, 2010 has not one, but two features that tackle the idea, the first of which is Jalmari Helander’s Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale, a feature-length prequel to two of the director’s shorts from 2003 and 2005.
A whimsical, kid-centered film along the lines of The Lady In White, Helander presents a Santa rightfully feared by children. In the business of doling out discipline to naughty children once a year, he’ll do whatever it takes, even it means kidnapping them and killing everyone in his way. Opening with an archeological dig scene that is more Raiders Of The Lost Ark than anything in Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull, Pietari (Onni Tommila) looks on through a fence with a friend as a rich businessman informs his workers that they are not standing on top of the Korvatunturi Mountains, but rather a burial site for something fantastical. When his father (Jorma Tommila) and a few other locals stumble upon slaughtered reindeer and some other weird occurrences, Pietari’s imagination begins to run wild and he coaxes the community adults to begin investigating. Several missing children and a captured old man later, those who are left begin to suspect that the company on top of the mountain unearthed a legend that was better left undiscovered.
Aside from f-bombs being thrown around with little regard and some old man penis, Rare Exports is very much a children’s movie, filled with a sense of fantasy and wonder that’s rarely seen in horror movies anymore. Like Lemora, its themes are far more mature than its premise dictates, and at times it feels a little forced. It’s much better at being a quirky children’s fantasy than it is at being ghoulish and gory, but it’s a lot of fun all the same, lying somewhere between a Goosebumps book and an episode of Tales From The Crypt.
While all the adults are appropriately realistic in their suspicions of what’s causing the strange occurrences and Per Christian Ellefsen is equally sinister and aloof as Riley, the American businessman, Tommila steals the show as young Pietari. With gingerbread cookies in one hand and a stuffed animal in the other, he leads the adults to a showdown with Claus and his elves like a five-star general, possessing the sort of innocent and bravery only a naïve, but smart, child could.
Rare Exports moves along at a brisk pace, running at a smidge under 80 minutes, but its stretch marks still show as it struggles to give viewers enough pieces of the Santa puzzle to keep them involved. The third act has a great twist, and the prospect of its outcome will no doubt excite viewers, but the climax you’re promised from the get-go never occurs, though what does happen – bringing a meaning to the film’s title – is more than satisfactory.
Featuring characters that can sell bewilderment for comedic and horrific moments and a script filled with childhood whimsy set in a realistic world, Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale is special in all the right ways. Mika Orasmaa’s cinematography is second to none, capturing the snowy mountain’s majesty and adding some subtleties to the Christmas-time mystery. Having not seen the shorts but knowing that they come after the feature, the film feels like it’s just getting started as its ending, leaving me hopeful that Helander will return to his monster movie Santa mythos.
Movies
‘Desperation’ – Sam Raimi and ‘Final Destination Bloodlines’ Directors Teaming for Stephen King Movie
Stephen King’s 1996 novel Desperation is headed back to the screen, with Jeff Sneider breaking the news on The InSneider that Sam Raimi, Stephen King, and Final Destination Bloodlines directors Adam B. Stein and Zach Lipovsky are coming together for the film.
Sam Raimi will produce the upcoming Desperation movie, while Stein and Lipovsky are on board to direct. Searchlight Pictures is the studio attached to the feature film project.
Published in 1996, Stephen King’s novel Desperation was previously turned into a made-for-TV movie starring Ron Perlman, Tom Skerritt and Steven Weber back in 2006.
Wikipedia reminds, “Desperation is a story about several people who, while traveling along the desolated Highway 50 in Nevada, get abducted by Collie Entragian, the deputy of the fictional mining town of Desperation. Entragian uses various pretexts for the abductions, from an arrest for drug possession to ‘rescuing’ a family from a nonexistent gunman. It becomes clear to the captives that Entragian has been possessed by an evil being named Tak, who has control over the surrounding desert wildlife and must change hosts to keep itself alive.
“They begin to fight for their freedom, sanity and lives before realizing that if they are ever to escape Desperation, they must trap Tak in the place from which he came.”
Desperation was published at the same time as Stephen King’s own “mirror novel” titled The Regulators, which shares characters but takes place in an alternate universe.
The union of Sam Raimi and Stephen King is an exciting one for fans of both Raimi and King, and there’s a nice bit of full circle history there too. As you may recall, it was Stephen King’s review of The Evil Dead that Raimi credits for saving and legitimizing his indie debut feature.
And the rest is history! Stay tuned for more on this developing story.


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