This week on Scream Queens proved the main point from my last review. With a Monty Python style limb slicing, this show careens into full-fledged satire. While the Chanel group begins to implode the rest of the pledges, lead by Grace, are still hunting the Red Devil. In a hilarious attempt to do away with the Red Devil as the school mascot, Dean Munsch introduces a new mascot known as “Coney” a giant dancing vanilla ice cream cone and moves into the KKT house with KKT representative GiGi. Munsch may have ulterior motives, though, she is incredibly jealous of the relationship blooming between GiGi and Grace’s father Wes (Oliver Hudson). Oh, and Chanel #2’s body has also disappeared.
The third episode opens on Grace and Zayday heading to the convenient store to get some much need snackage since the cook is dead. While discussing the benefits of syrup covered chips they encounter the red devil and in a perfect final girl style, Grace zaps him in the nards with a taser and Zayday topples him with a display. Unfortunately, this devil was just a stand in school mascot.Ooops.
Meanwhile, Grace tries to hold it together and proceed with classes as normal, until her father shows up as her Film Analysis professor. After she storms out, Wes is left to teach the class about what he deems the greatest movie of all time, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. We get a few iconic snippets from the film as well as shots of students throwing up in their backpacks. Where was this class when I was in college?
We’re reaching prime KKT explosion time. Chanel #5 (Abigail Breslin) has decided she is out and that Chanel (Emma Roberts) should be overthrown as house president. And when Chanel decides to make over Hester and turn her into Chanel #6 shit really hits the fan. I’m really loving Abigail Breslin in this show, she’s crass and hilarious. I don’t see her as being the killer but now that we know not only she and Chanel #3 (Billie Lourd) were hooking up with Chanel’s main squeeze, the King of Dudebros, Chad Radwell (Glen Powel) anyone could be the killer.
But that brings me to what I really wanted to mention in this review, the boys. Last episode, Chad’s bff Boone (Nick Jonas) was going to leave the Dicky Dollar Scholars and join KKT under their new rule of accepting anyone. Supposedly he wanted to join so he could come out as gay on his own terms and help the KKT house instead of being ruined by Chanel. The night he decided to join he ended up face to face with the Red Devil and got his throat slashed. But not really, at the very end of the premiere it’s revealed Boone is not dead but actually scheming with the Red Devil. “Chainsaw” brings Chad Radwell, who is the most superficial crier I’ve ever seen, out for revenge. He and the rest of the Dicky Dollar Scholars decide to go out and find the Red Devil themselves using the “gang rule” of going out in the street and yelling for someone until they come out and fight you, according to Chad Radwell it’s fool proof. Unsurprisingly, he turns out to be right but not before he and his bros don their all-white outfits and go on a bashing spree with baseball bats to the tune of “Backstreet’s Back” and which point 10-year-old me cracked up. As the Devil appears with a chainsaw the bros charge him but soon realize you never bring a wooden bat to a chainsaw fight. Also, there are two devils both wielding chainsaws causing the group to separate with Chad taking on one himself. As he is about to get sliced up like Thanksgiving turkey a fellow bro runs to save him and promptly gets his bat arm sliced off but that doesn’t stop him! Oh no, with his other hand he grabs the bat from his detached limb only to have his other arm sawed off as well. We know that Boone is involved somehow and most likely one of the faces behind the masks. His motive still remains unknown.
As the Devils walk off leaving the decimated Dicky Dollar Scholars, we head back to KKT where GiGi and Dean Munsch are having issues of their own. In an earlier scene, we see Munsch warn GiGi about staying away from her man so when they appear later as roomies we know something is up. As bedtime arrives Munsch explains she needs a white noise machine to sleep. No problem, except that the volume is cranked and the sounds as less then soothing, as a “compromise” Munsch decides on Slasher Movie sounds. GiGi, who is so totally not putting up with it heads to the couch downstairs only to be attacked by the Red Devil, chainsaw and all. The Devil flees when Wes bursts in to save his lady love, just in time for Munsch to run downstairs to see what the commotion was. Wes and GiGi accuse her of being the killer and that’s where we end.
From the first episode, I was wondering if they would make Jamie Lee Curtis a villain, which I would totally be for despite it’s predictability, but after this episode I’m thinking it’s not her. Announcing her as the killer this early in the season generally means she’s a red herring but who knows in this weird ass universe. What do you guys think? Comment below or tweet me!
While Grace and Zayday investigate the disappearance of Chanel #2 (whom they do not know is dead) they visit her parents played by the beautiful Charisma Carpenter (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and Roger Bart (Stepford Wives 2004).
“I was bored so I came out here to look at #2’s body”
“Stabbed her in the face and she wasn’t that cute to begin with but that is not the point!”
“You violated my closet vag”
RIP Coney the Ice Cream Cone, may your sawed off head be found in hilarious glory.