Breeders is exactly the type of B-grade schlock I used to watch on VHS and cable growing up as a little kid in the 90’s. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if it still gets shown late nights on Showtime occasionally. I can’t say for sure if I saw this one when I was younger. It definitely feels like something I would have watched but none of it was familiar to me when I watched the new Blu-ray release from Olive Films.
A series of young women are admitted to a New York hospital over a short period of time after being attacked and raped. As far as the authorities can tell the attacker is different each time but the women do share one thing in common – each one is a virgin before the attack. Detective Dale Androtti (Lance Lewman) and Dr. Gamble Pace (Teresa Farley) decide to work together to figure out who is behind the attacks but what they discover is something from out of this world. That’s right, you guessed it, aliens! Aliens, disguised as humans, are attacking these women to impregnate them and reproduce alien lifeforms on Earth. This is presumably done so the aliens can take over the world.
This plot sounds crazy, I know, but it can work. I’ve seen it work. Humanoids from the Deep, which would make for a good double feature pairing with Breeders, works with a very similar idea and uses it to near perfection. Breeders isn’t quite as successful in it’s attempt. Writer/director Tim Kincaid came up with a very simple formula that he just repeated a few times. We meet a young girl, she finds some reason to get naked, then someone shows up and attacks her. Repeat until you reach appropriate run time, which technically Breeders never really does because it only clocks in at about 77 minutes, but I suppose that’s close enough.
The film definitely isn’t shy. When I said the women find a reason to get naked, I really just mean they get naked. The most hilarious part is a scene involving a model. She’s on a shoot and they’re taking pictures and everything is pretty standard from how you see photo shoots depicted in movies. When it gets is crazy is when they break for lunch. Everyone but the model heads out to grab a bite to eat. Now with this photo studio all alone to herself, the model decides she’s going to strip completely naked and begin a full on exercise routine.
Now this scene brings with it lots of questions. Is there a benefit to exercising naked? I guess so. Clothes can restrict movement making it a little harder to get a proper workout in. Ok I can buy that, but then why does she feel the need to do so on a lunch break during the middle of work? I’ll never fully understand this but I know a few people that workout during their lunch at work so it is something people do. So I’ll give her that one too, she’s not completely crazy. So exercise naked, fine, exercise during lunch fine, but to exercise naked while on lunch? That seems like a bad idea. To further this bad idea she does nothing to secure the studio. When one of the crew members comes back because he forgot his wallet he’s able to just waltz right in! You want to exercise nude without locking the door? Fine, but you should at least shut it.
At this point you’re probably thinking to yourself “Come on Chris, she worked out naked just as way for Kincaid to get more nudity into the film.” That was my initial thought as well but even that brings one major question with it. This girl was a model in the middle of a photo shoot. Why have her exercise naked when you could have just made it a nude photo shoot? Then you still get your boobies while eliminating your questions. Skimming through some of Kincaid’s more recent titles and I come across efforts such as Deep Water Beach Patrol, Mens Room: Bakersfield Station and Dad Gets Into Trouble so in all honesty who am I to question his use of nudity in film?
If you haven’t realized it by now Breeders is a mostly bad movie. The plot is bad. The acting is bad. The special effects and costume for the alien creatures are bad. But there is a little charm. The effects while not great, are of the practical variety so they do bring a little natural fun to the film. As I said to start my review it reminds of the type of low grade horror I watched growing up. So even though I don’t remember this specific film, it does bring with it a certain sense of nostalgia and for me that’s good enough.
The Blu-ray release from Olive Films is a bare bones effort. So you won’t find any special features, which shouldn’t be a surprise given the quality of the film itself. The Blu-ray does look great though and at the end of the day that’s what really matters most. My motto has always been “no movie left behind,” so even when a bad movie like this one gets a Blu-ray release I consider that a win.
Breeders is available now on Blu-ray from Olive Films.