Based on the renowned DC and Marvel comic book writer Joe Casey’s 2010 beloved graphic novel [illustrated by Chris Burnham], Officer Downe has just been adapted into a film by Slipknot co-founder M. Shawn Crahan. Kim Coates stars as Terrence Downe, an authority figure who at first glance appears to be completely impervious to pain, but then turns out to actually be a cop who lays down his life for the law over and over, only to be reanimated in a secret lab beneath the police station and shoved back out into the criminally-charged world again.
Whether what this police station is doing is morally right or wrong is debatable, but the fact is that Los Angeles needs a hero like Downe to patrol the streets, and help keep the power in the hands of the good guys, not the gangs. In this jaded modern day society, where people tend to cast aside teamwork in favor of individualism, and any ill deed feels forgiven if it goes unwitnessed, Downe is bringing back credibility to the streets, one bashed in skull at a time. He’s not just a man, he’s a machine. He is the law personified, and if you disobey the rules, or mess with anyone’s civil liberties, he’s coming for you.
Officer Downe definitely has its moments. There’s some really stellar costumes and set pieces featured in the boardroom of the Fortune 500 secret hideout, where the villains don animal masks while the human heads of their enemies hang on their wall like the trophies of a prized hunt. Also, the aesthetics of the evil, neon-lit coven which is run by the fierce Mother Superior, a woman who discourages swearing but hides automatic weapons in her habit, actually makes for a cool little group of baddies. Most importantly, the practical effects are really top notch, and help to solidify Downe’s undeniable badassdom. However, this satirical machismo homage to cliché action movies has been done many times before, and unfortunately, Officer Downe doesn’t quite join the ranks of its cinematic peers.
When watching the movie, titles like Hobo With a Shotgun, Turbo Kid, Manborg, and Hot Fuzz spring to mind (not to mention Lethal Weapon, which is straight up referenced by one of the characters in the film, insinuating that Downe’s fearless attitude is supposed to be a nod to Martin Riggs), but sadly, once these entries enter the mind, it’s hard not to compare them with the movie onscreen, which only helps highlight the inevitable truth – that this isn’t a very good parody film. It’s very clear which angle director Crahan wanted to take, since it’s one that’s been several times before. It’s supposed to be an action-heavy love letter to ‘80s cinema that both pokes fun at generic tropes, yet still displays affection for the movies it’s parodying. It should be funny, exciting, shocking, and perhaps even provide some sort of commentary on the genre. Although it does provide a few thrilling moments of combat here and there, sadly, Officer Downe is missing one vital component in the mix, and that’s the humor.
When it comes down to it, the truth is Officer Downe just isn’t very funny. It’s obvious from one of the opening sequences, which happens to feature the officer going down on a woman as a cartoony clock counts the number of orgasms emitted from his new friend, that this is a feature that’s meant to derive at least a few chuckles from its audience. However, after this bizarre moment passes, the comical side of the story seems to all but disappear, if only to reappear for a few moments in what’s basically a regurgitation of the opening scene just discussed. Crahan obviously really wants to craft a film that would make Edgar Wright proud, but he forgets that in the Blood and Ice Cream universe, the jokes come first, and the moments of insane stunts are only made more intense by the fact that they’re balanced out neatly with the laughs.
In Officer Downe, however, the tone never quite shifts from one side to the other over the course of the film. Crahan might want his audience to giggle, or perhaps even feel sorry at some points for his man of the law, who sacrifices his life almost every single day, but his narrative doesn’t exactly reflect his wishes. Instead, he delivers quite a messy film, in which his lead never really feels like he’s in danger because they can easily bring Downe back to life each time he’s decimated, and the fight scenes only feel like they exist in order to end Downe so that he can be reborn again.
This balls-to-the-wall Robocop wannabe not only falls short of the movies it references, but it also simultaneously fails to be funny enough to distract its viewers from the fact that the character of Officer Downe isn’t necessarily indestructible, or even a good fighter really – he just has a great team that can bring him back from the dead every time he answers a call and is promptly and kind of easily killed. It’s too bad, because Kim Coats does a terrific job of playing the hardass cop who will do whatever it takes to get the job done, and loves to deliver one-liners along the way, it would just be nice if he had a little more to work with.