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[Review] “American Horror Story: Apocalypse” Conjures One of the Series’ Best Episodes With “Return to Murder House”

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Get ready to go back to where everyone knows your name (and how you died) when “American Horror Story: Apocalypse” returns to the Murder House for a series high!

“This is not a home. It’s a prison.”

Last week’s American Horror Story pointedly ended with Sarah Paulson’s Cordelia Goode declaring that Madison and Behold’s next destination, the infamous Murder House, is “where it all began.” Cordelia’s announcement is of course in reference to the origins of Michael Langdon’s story, but it’s also meant to be looked at figuratively. Murder House is literally where American Horror Story started as a series and so returning to that sacred territory is obviously a fairly momentous event. It seems like no coincidence that this episode also marks Sarah Paulson’s directorial debut and that such a fundamental cast member of this show gets to be the one that’s behind the camera.

“Return to Murder House” is a homecoming in every sense of the word and it’s also perhaps the best episode that the series has ever made.

American Horror Story can be a show that jerks its audience around, but “Return to Murder House” cuts the bullshit and starts delivering the goods right away. Madison and Behold immediately come into possession of the Murder House and the episode wastes no time with its setup. This episode understands how anxious everyone is to dig into this material and what’s even better is that “Return to Murder House” is nearly a full hour long and it makes every minute count. This episode doesn’t trip over itself with its plotting either. Its premise is very to the point: Figure out if Michael Langdon is evil.

Early on in the installment, an exasperated Madison asks, “what the fuck happened in this house?” “Return to Murder House” finds delight in really getting to the core of that question and the 36 souls that inhabit this prison. Behold and Madison perform a ceremony to get access to the ghosts that knew Michael, but it’s an all-or-nothing situation. If they want to talk to some of the ghosts in this house, then they’re going to talk to all of the ghosts in this house. “Return to Murder House” turns into a poltergeist free-for-all and delivers many poetic ghost vignettes that feature some dearly beloved departed characters. It’s should be too much when Jessica Lange’s Constance Harmon interrupts Sarah Paulson’s Billie Dean Howard right after Madison and Behold grill Evan Peters’ Tate Langdon and Ben Harmon for information, but it’s fucking fantastic. “Return to Murder House” does not hold back with the fan service and if a huge grin isn’t slapped on your face throughout this installment then you are not a fan of this show.

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Another fantastic thing about this episode is that it remembers that American Horror Story actually used to be scary! The show can get so caught up in its premise and the spectacle of its characters and camp that it sometimes neglects actual scares. “Return to Murder House” brings back that frightening atmosphere from the show’s first season and it treats this episode like a properly scary haunted house story. There are many terrifying visuals from Michael’s youth that also stand out and linger. There’s a particularly Zodiac-like sequence with Miriam Mead that’s also one of the more unnerving moments from the season so far.

Darkness may surround Madison and Behold as they work their way through this house, but it’s very interesting to see Madison attempt to turn a new leaf with the second third chance she’s been given. Make no mistake, the sass is still strong with this one, but it’s kind of shocking to see her ditch a good party in favor of responsibilities. Hopefully, this more well-rounded version of Madison sticks around, but this change isn’t a complete 180. Her deadpan serious delivery of how she doesn’t want children because she couldn’t love an uncool or ugly offspring is the maybe the best line of the episode. It’s also rather perfect that she considers the Tate Langdon/Violet Harmon love story to be some sort of spectral Romeo and Juliet.

Jessica Lange may only be in one episode this season, but this truly doesn’t waste the return of this incredible actress.

Her opening line is even better than Madison’s first words this season. American Horror Story has definitely gotten by in the absence of Lange, but it really is nice to have her back. She cuts everyone down at the knees and gives absolutely zero fucks. It’s the grandiose entrance that she deserves.

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Constance gets all quid quo pro on Madison and Behold and tells them that if they can permanently exorcize Frances Conroy’s Moira O’Hara from the premises, then she’ll spill the goods on her grandson. This really couldn’t go better as Moira turns out to be desperate to leave this house. She’s given the touching closure that she’s longed for during all of these years in purgatory and Madison gets another notch in the “good person” column. In fact, there’s so much positivity in this episode that you’d forget that the world is presently dealing with the apocalypse. A lot of people get their happily ever afters. It’s a great shift in tone that goes a long way for the season.

We’re treated to Constance’s twisted story of her efforts to raise Michael and how he very quickly was set on a dark path, regardless of anything that she ever did. Constance’s blind love for her child slowly begins to rot and fester as she needs to continually cover up his “gifts” to her. Her admission over how Michael ruined the smell of roses for her is just heartbreaking and Crystal Liu’s script features plenty of incredible monologues. “Return to Murder House” becomes incredibly expository as Constance fills in the blanks on Michael’s childhood and the circumstances around her death. Flashbacks to the more pivotal moments in his developing evil help punctuate her tale, but it’s still a colossal info dump. Thankfully it just so happens to be information that everyone wants to hear.

Constance all but confirms that Michael is pure evil and while his demonic childhood initially contains a lot of familiar beats, it’s a major surprise to hear that he miraculously ages a decade in the course of a night. It’s a very interesting wrinkle to see this child who’s still learning proper grammar look like an adult. Fern’s acting is a little much at times as he plays this man-child. This also hints at the idea that Michael’s accelerated age is because he serves some higher purpose and is heading towards some sort of deadline. It’s yet more evidence that Michael is more than just a warlock and actual some harbinger of doom.

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Once Constance has said all that she needs to, the episode curiously shifts from Michael’s maternal upbringing to Ben Harmon’s efforts as a father towards the boy. This gender divide and how each parent differently impacts Michael also speaks to the larger themes of this season that have pit gender against one another. However, both parents ultimately give up on Michael and this could be partly responsible for why he embraces his dark side. While it’s not exactly enough to create sympathy for the devil, it is important to remember that this is still someone who’s mentally much younger. The uber expository structure remains, but Harmon presents a much more complicated case study of Michael, but still a picture of pure evil. We learn that Ben is the first one to really witness Michael’s supernatural powers in action (and boy does he get a show) and that Michael’s got nothing against latex. Oh, and it turns out that Michael Langdon is the Black Dahlia murderer (hey there, Mena Suvari as Elizabeth Short!). Case solved!

At this point, Madison and Behold have their answer, but freaking Connie Britton takes the episode home as Vivien Harmon provides one more disturbing tale from the Michael Langdon files. Vivien validates suspicions that Michael is the Antichrist, but her story goes into full-fledged deep end Satanism here. She introduces Miriam Mead and the Church of Satan who play the final part in Michael’s development. The Church of Satan lays on it on pretty thick with the prophecies—or rather “the omens,” as the episode blatantly puts it—but there’s no denying the results. Finally, the Black Mass ritual that’s crucial to Michael’s birthright is vicious stuff and it makes all of the brutal sacrifices that went down in AHS: Cult look like child’s play.

“Return to Murder House” is a triumph from top to bottom and it speaks to the underlying sweetness of American Horror Story that nobody gives the show enough credit for.

It beautifully resolves many storylines that I’m sure many people never expected to get closure on and it sets up the final stage of this season. “Return to Murder House” gives you the whole Wikipedia page on Michael Langdon and now the end game can begin. Just how the hell are they going to defeat this guy?

“Return to Murder House” actually creates a lot of excitement over where this season will go now that an important warlock is ready to put Michael down and understands his dangers. It should be interesting to see if Ariel can exhibit enough common sense to work together with them, or if he’ll still be blinded by the prospect of a male Supreme. Or maybe Madison and Behold will return to a building full of slaughtered witches and warlocks.

Also, let’s just go ahead and agree that season nine of American Horror Story should be the ghost of Madison haunting a movie production at Paramount Studios.

“American Horror Story: Apocalypse” airs Wednesdays at 10pm (ET) on FX.

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Daniel Kurland is a freelance writer, comedian, and critic, whose work can be read on Splitsider, Bloody Disgusting, Den of Geek, ScreenRant, and across the Internet. Daniel knows that "Psycho II" is better than the original and that the last season of "The X-Files" doesn't deserve the bile that it conjures. If you want a drink thrown in your face, talk to him about "Silent Night, Deadly Night Part II," but he'll always happily talk about the "Puppet Master" franchise. The owls are not what they seem.

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“AHS: Delicate” Review – “Little Gold Man” Mixes Oscar Fever & Baby Fever into the Perfect Product

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American Horror Story Season 12 Episode 8 Mia Farrow

‘AHS: Delicate’ enters early labor with a fun, frenzied episode that finds the perfect tone and goes for broke as its water breaks.

“I’ll figure it out. Women always do.”

American Horror Story is no stranger to remixing real-life history with ludicrous, heightened Murphy-isms, whether it’s AHS: 1984’s incorporation of Richard Ramirez, AHS: Cult’s use of Valerie Solanas, or AHS: Coven’s prominent role for the Axeman of New Orleans. Accordingly, it’s very much par for the course for AHS: Delicate to riff on other pop culture touchstones and infinitely warp them to its wicked whims. That being said, it takes real guts to do a postmodern feminist version of Rosemary’s Baby and then actually put Mia Farrow – while she’s filming Rosemary’s Baby, no less – into the narrative. This is the type of gonzo bullshit that I want out of American Horror Story! Sharon Tate even shows up for a minute because why the hell not? Make no mistake, this is completely absurd, but the right kind of campy absurdity that’s consistently been in American Horror Story’s wheelhouse since its inception. It’s a wild introduction that sets up an Oscar-centric AHS: Delicate episode for success. “Little Gold Man” is a chaotic episode that’s worth its weight in gold and starts to bring this contentious season home. 

It’d be one thing if “Little Gold Man” just featured a brief detour to 1967 so that this season of pregnancy horror could cross off Rosemary’s Baby from its checklist. AHS: Delicate gets more ambitious with its revisionist history and goes so far as to say that Mia Farrow and Anna Victoria Alcott are similarly plagued. “Little Gold Man” intentionally gives Frank Sinatra dialogue that’s basically verbatim from Dex Harding Sr., which indicates that this demonic curse has been ruffling Hollywood’s feathers for the better part of a century. Anna Victoria Alcott’s Oscar-nominated feature film, The Auteur, is evidently no different than Rosemary’s Baby. It’s merely Satanic forces’ latest attempt to cultivate the “perfect product.” “Little Gold Man” even implies that the only reason that Mia Farrow didn’t go on to make waves at the 1969 Academy Awards and ends up with her twisted lot in life is because she couldn’t properly commit to Siobhan’s scheme, unlike Anna.

This is easily one of American Horror Story’s more ridiculous cold opens, but there’s a lot of love for the horror genre and Hollywood that pumps through its veins. If Hollywood needs to be a part of AHS: Delicate’s story then this is actually the perfect connective tissue. On that note, Claire DeJean plays Sharon Tate in “Little Gold Man” and does fine work with the brief scene. However, it would have been a nice, subtle nod of continuity if AHS: Delicate brought back Rachel Roberts who previously portrayed Tate in AHS: Cult. “Little Gold Man” still makes its point and to echo a famous line from Jennifer Lynch’s father’s television masterpiece: “It is happening again.”

“Little Gold Man” is rich in sequences where Anna just rides the waves of success and enjoys her blossoming fame. She feels empowered and begins to finally take control of her life, rather than let it push her around and get under her skin like a gestating fetus. Anna’s success coincides with a colossal exposition dump from Tavi Gevinson’s Cora, a character who’s been absent for so long that we were all seemingly meant to forget that she was ever someone who was supposed to be significant. Cora has apparently been the one pulling many of Anna’s strings all along as she goes Single White Female, rather than Anna having a case of Repulsion. It’s an explanation that oddly works and feeds into the episode’s more general message of dreams becoming nightmares. Cora continuing to stay aligned with Dr. Hill because she has student loans is also somehow, tragically the perfect explanation for her abhorrent behavior. It’s not the most outlandish series of events in an episode that also briefly gives Anna alligator legs and makes Emma Roberts and Kim Kardashian kiss.

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“Little Gold Man” often feels like it hits the fast-forward button as it delivers more answers, much in the same vein as last week’s “Ava Hestia.” These episodes are two sides of the same coin and it’s surely no coincidence that they’re both directed by Jennifer Lynch. This season has benefitted from being entirely written by Halley Feiffer – a first for the series – but it’s unfortunate that Lynch couldn’t direct every episode of AHS: Delicate instead of just four out of nine entries. That’s not to say that a version of this season that was unilaterally directed by Lynch would have been without its issues. However, it’s likely that there’d be a better sense of synergy across the season with fewer redundancies. She’s responsible for the best episodes of AHS: Delicate and it’s a disappointment that she won’t be the one who closes the season out in next week’s finale.

To this point, “Little Gold Man” utilizes immaculate pacing that helps this episode breeze by. Anna’s Oscar nomination and the awards ceremony are in the same episode, whereas it feels like “Part 1” of the season would have spaced these events out over four or five episodes. This frenzied tempo works in “Little Gold Man’s” favor as AHS: Delicate speed-runs to its finish instead of getting lost in laborious plotting and unnecessary storytelling. This is how the entire season should have been. Although it’s also worth pointing out that this is by far the shortest episode of American Horror Story to date at only 34 minutes. It’s a shame that the season’s strongest entries have also been the ones with the least amount of content. There could have been a whole other act to “Little Gold Man,” or at the least, a substantially longer cold open that got more out of its Mia Farrow mayhem. 

“Little Gold Man” is an American Horror Story episode that does everything right, but is still forced to contend with three-quarters of a subpar season. “Part 2” of AHS: Delicate actually helps the season’s first five episodes shine brighter in retrospect and this will definitely be a season that benefits from one long binge that doesn’t have a six-month break in the middle. Unfortunately, anyone who’s already watched it once will likely not feel compelled to experience these labor pains a second time over. With one episode to go and Anna’s potential demon offspring ready to greet the world, AHS: Delicate is poised to deliver one hell of a finale.

Although, to paraphrase Frank Sinatra, “How do you expect to be a good conclusion if this is what you’re chasing?” 

4 out of 5 skulls

American Horror Story Season 12 Episode 9 Anna Siobhan Kiss

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