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“Vampire Academy” Review – Peacock Series Is a Convoluted Bore

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First Footage from Peacock's “Vampire Academy” Series [Video]

Each of the first four episodes of Vampire Academy, the new YA series from creators Julie Plec and Marguerite MacIntyre, opens with a quick sequence outlining the three principal roles that characters occupy. The first are the Moroi, vampires (some royal, some not) who have magical Elemental powers, but are basically powerless to defend themselves. Then there’s the Strigoi, who are Moroi that have turned evil and adhere to characteristics that audiences traditionally associate with vampires such as bloodlust and aggression. Finally, there are Dhampir guardians – half Moroi/half Dhampir who have sworn to protect the Moroi from the Strigoi.

If that primer is confusing, Vampire Academy only gets more convoluted from here. The 10-episode Peacock adaptation of Richelle Mead’s bestselling fantasy romance series is overstuffed, overcomplicated and often nonsensical, especially in its first half.

We open at a party that introduces Lissa Dragomir (Daniela Nieves), a Royal Moroi, and her best friend Rose Hathaway (Sisi Stringer, Mortal Kombat), an aspiring Dhampir, as well as Lissa’s older brother, Andre (Jason Diaz), who is tapped to be the next king after Queen Moira (Nikol Kollars) steps down. En route home, the Dragomir limousine crashes and everyone except Lissa and Rose are killed (reminder: vampires are super easy to kill in this world).

At this point, the narrative jumps ahead 3 months as Lissa’s new guardian, Victor Dashkov (J. August Richards) reintroduces her to life at St. Vladimir’s Academy, which is located in an unnamed town far away from the human world and protected from Strigoi by magical wards.

First Footage from Peacock's “Vampire Academy” Series [Video]

The main crux of the story centers around Rose and Lissa’s friendship as they become key figures in their respective groups. Lissa is being considered to take over Andre’s role as a future ruler but there are political factions working against her, including Andre’s secret lover, Tatania Vogel (Anita-Joy Uwajeh), who is ruthless and cutthroat. Rose, meanwhile, is attempting to rise in the ranks of her Dhampir training group to ensure that she will be assigned to protect Lissa. The two girls also share a unique connection since the accident wherein Rose’s vision is overtaken by Lissa whenever the latter becomes emotional.

Because it’s YA, there are also boys circling about. Rose has a past with fellow Dhampir cadet Mason (Andrew Liner), but older trainer Dmitri Belikov (Kieron Moore) catches her eye immediately upon arrival. As for Lissa, she’s being encouraged to marry “good on paper/terrible in person” Jesse Zeklos (Joseph Ollman), but her real connection is with outcast Christian Ozera (Andre Dae Kim), whose parents turned Strigoi. That latter part is complicated further because Christian’s parents may be responsible for a series of escalating attacks that threaten the safety of the entire Dominion. The fact that this barely scratches the surface of what is going on only goes to show how overstuffed and overcomplicated the plotting of the series is.

This is the second time Vampire Academy has been adapted. The first was the 2014 YA horror comedy directed by Mark Waters and starring a young Zoey Deutsch. The film wisely dumped most of the mythology of the books in order to streamline the narrative. It didn’t work: the film was critically derided, denounced by fans of the original text, and wound up being a huge commercial failure. Still, the comedy injected both levity and fun into the film, qualities that are sorely lacking in the TV series, which is far too self-serious and (the worst fate of all) boring.

Vampire Academy’s biggest problem is that it is simply trying to do too much with too little. What little world-building exists is undercooked or poorly explained, particularly the political structure of the world, its relationship with the human world and even something as basic as geography. Take the latter: although the series was filmed in Spain and characters have a mix of Russian and European surnames, St. Vladimir’s is visually represented as a collection of castles in the middle of…somewhere?

The lack of clarity about basic aspects of the world is not only confusing but frustrating. It takes ages to realize that an attack that opens episode three is occurring at a different school and a Royal Tour in episode 6 briefly shifts the action to Lisbon but when Meredith (Rhian Blundell), Rose’s fellow Dhampir, is injured, she’s brought back to St. Vladimir as though they were only a few minutes away. It’s especially grating because the series constantly introduces new elements, seemingly as a way to justify a rotating series of parties, challenges, and spectacles.

Vampire Academy trailer

General audiences are apt to be turned off by the never-ending onslaught of characters, subplots and rules that are introduced and discarded on a whim. By comparison, Mead’s audience will have an easier time negotiating the lore, and viewers who are familiar with Plec’s work on The Vampire Diaries and The Originals will likely find Vampire Academy more palatable. Not only does the Peacock show share a similar visual aesthetic, including a uniformly attractive cast, those other works also had a penchant for trotting out special events like balls, contests, and/or magical rituals. If nothing else, these events provide ample opportunity for the costume department to break out a collection of opulent, vaguely Victorian Steampunk gowns and tuxedos.

The diverse cast is uniformly solid, particularly the two leads. Stringer has good romantic chemistry with Moore, though the same can’t be said of Nieves and Dae Kim, which is a problem when Lissa and Christian are meant to be the star-crossed lovers whose love could save the Dominion. Queer audiences are treated to two (admittedly chaste) pairings courtesy of Victor and his husband, as well as Meredith and Victor’s adopted daughter Mia (Mia McKenna-Bruce), whose demeanor is noticeably softened from the books. Still, the fact that Lissa and Rose have clear romantic potential that goes untapped is a missed opportunity.

Full confession: the series gets stronger and more enjoyable in the back half, particularly a pair of episodes that put Rose and her fellow Dhampir cadets to the test against Strigoi in the field. Vampire Academy is at its best when it keeps the narrative simple and focused on Rose and Lissa. When the show strays into adult politics, that’s when it becomes less engaging and convoluted. Considering that there are six books in the series, there is plenty more story to tell, but in this first season, it already seems as though Plec and MacIntyre have bitten off more than they can chew.

Or should we say suck?


Episodes 1-4 of Vampire Academy debut September 15 on Peacock, with subsequent episodes dropping every Thursday.

Joe is a TV addict with a background in Film Studies. He co-created TV/Film Fest blog QueerHorrorMovies and writes for Bloody Disgusting, Anatomy of a Scream, That Shelf, The Spool and Grim Magazine. He enjoys graphic novels, dark beer and plays multiple sports (adequately, never exceptionally). While he loves all horror, if given a choice, Joe always opts for slashers and creature features.

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“AHS: Delicate” Review – “Little Gold Man” Mixes Oscar Fever & Baby Fever into the Perfect Product

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American Horror Story Season 12 Episode 8 Mia Farrow

‘AHS: Delicate’ enters early labor with a fun, frenzied episode that finds the perfect tone and goes for broke as its water breaks.

“I’ll figure it out. Women always do.”

American Horror Story is no stranger to remixing real-life history with ludicrous, heightened Murphy-isms, whether it’s AHS: 1984’s incorporation of Richard Ramirez, AHS: Cult’s use of Valerie Solanas, or AHS: Coven’s prominent role for the Axeman of New Orleans. Accordingly, it’s very much par for the course for AHS: Delicate to riff on other pop culture touchstones and infinitely warp them to its wicked whims. That being said, it takes real guts to do a postmodern feminist version of Rosemary’s Baby and then actually put Mia Farrow – while she’s filming Rosemary’s Baby, no less – into the narrative. This is the type of gonzo bullshit that I want out of American Horror Story! Sharon Tate even shows up for a minute because why the hell not? Make no mistake, this is completely absurd, but the right kind of campy absurdity that’s consistently been in American Horror Story’s wheelhouse since its inception. It’s a wild introduction that sets up an Oscar-centric AHS: Delicate episode for success. “Little Gold Man” is a chaotic episode that’s worth its weight in gold and starts to bring this contentious season home. 

It’d be one thing if “Little Gold Man” just featured a brief detour to 1967 so that this season of pregnancy horror could cross off Rosemary’s Baby from its checklist. AHS: Delicate gets more ambitious with its revisionist history and goes so far as to say that Mia Farrow and Anna Victoria Alcott are similarly plagued. “Little Gold Man” intentionally gives Frank Sinatra dialogue that’s basically verbatim from Dex Harding Sr., which indicates that this demonic curse has been ruffling Hollywood’s feathers for the better part of a century. Anna Victoria Alcott’s Oscar-nominated feature film, The Auteur, is evidently no different than Rosemary’s Baby. It’s merely Satanic forces’ latest attempt to cultivate the “perfect product.” “Little Gold Man” even implies that the only reason that Mia Farrow didn’t go on to make waves at the 1969 Academy Awards and ends up with her twisted lot in life is because she couldn’t properly commit to Siobhan’s scheme, unlike Anna.

This is easily one of American Horror Story’s more ridiculous cold opens, but there’s a lot of love for the horror genre and Hollywood that pumps through its veins. If Hollywood needs to be a part of AHS: Delicate’s story then this is actually the perfect connective tissue. On that note, Claire DeJean plays Sharon Tate in “Little Gold Man” and does fine work with the brief scene. However, it would have been a nice, subtle nod of continuity if AHS: Delicate brought back Rachel Roberts who previously portrayed Tate in AHS: Cult. “Little Gold Man” still makes its point and to echo a famous line from Jennifer Lynch’s father’s television masterpiece: “It is happening again.”

“Little Gold Man” is rich in sequences where Anna just rides the waves of success and enjoys her blossoming fame. She feels empowered and begins to finally take control of her life, rather than let it push her around and get under her skin like a gestating fetus. Anna’s success coincides with a colossal exposition dump from Tavi Gevinson’s Cora, a character who’s been absent for so long that we were all seemingly meant to forget that she was ever someone who was supposed to be significant. Cora has apparently been the one pulling many of Anna’s strings all along as she goes Single White Female, rather than Anna having a case of Repulsion. It’s an explanation that oddly works and feeds into the episode’s more general message of dreams becoming nightmares. Cora continuing to stay aligned with Dr. Hill because she has student loans is also somehow, tragically the perfect explanation for her abhorrent behavior. It’s not the most outlandish series of events in an episode that also briefly gives Anna alligator legs and makes Emma Roberts and Kim Kardashian kiss.

American Horror Story Season 12 Episode 8 Cora In Cloak

“Little Gold Man” often feels like it hits the fast-forward button as it delivers more answers, much in the same vein as last week’s “Ava Hestia.” These episodes are two sides of the same coin and it’s surely no coincidence that they’re both directed by Jennifer Lynch. This season has benefitted from being entirely written by Halley Feiffer – a first for the series – but it’s unfortunate that Lynch couldn’t direct every episode of AHS: Delicate instead of just four out of nine entries. That’s not to say that a version of this season that was unilaterally directed by Lynch would have been without its issues. However, it’s likely that there’d be a better sense of synergy across the season with fewer redundancies. She’s responsible for the best episodes of AHS: Delicate and it’s a disappointment that she won’t be the one who closes the season out in next week’s finale.

To this point, “Little Gold Man” utilizes immaculate pacing that helps this episode breeze by. Anna’s Oscar nomination and the awards ceremony are in the same episode, whereas it feels like “Part 1” of the season would have spaced these events out over four or five episodes. This frenzied tempo works in “Little Gold Man’s” favor as AHS: Delicate speed-runs to its finish instead of getting lost in laborious plotting and unnecessary storytelling. This is how the entire season should have been. Although it’s also worth pointing out that this is by far the shortest episode of American Horror Story to date at only 34 minutes. It’s a shame that the season’s strongest entries have also been the ones with the least amount of content. There could have been a whole other act to “Little Gold Man,” or at the least, a substantially longer cold open that got more out of its Mia Farrow mayhem. 

“Little Gold Man” is an American Horror Story episode that does everything right, but is still forced to contend with three-quarters of a subpar season. “Part 2” of AHS: Delicate actually helps the season’s first five episodes shine brighter in retrospect and this will definitely be a season that benefits from one long binge that doesn’t have a six-month break in the middle. Unfortunately, anyone who’s already watched it once will likely not feel compelled to experience these labor pains a second time over. With one episode to go and Anna’s potential demon offspring ready to greet the world, AHS: Delicate is poised to deliver one hell of a finale.

Although, to paraphrase Frank Sinatra, “How do you expect to be a good conclusion if this is what you’re chasing?” 

4 out of 5 skulls

American Horror Story Season 12 Episode 9 Anna Siobhan Kiss

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