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‘Something in the Water’ Review – Shark Thriller Swims into Familiar Waters

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New shark movies these days often come with an overwhelming, not to mention frustrating sense of déjà vu. That’s largely because filmmakers have resigned themselves to rehashing the same ideas, over and over again. Something in the Water treads familiar waters, seeing as the characters here also find their vacation in ruins once they leave the beach. To be fair, this movie starts out differently than most others made in recent years; the main character is dealt a rather unfortunate card long before stepping into shark-infested waters. However, nothing that follows ever quite feels as scary or effective.

Something in the Water does what a lot of modern genre movies do now: they preface trauma with more trauma. A deadly shark encounter should be traumatic all on its own, but director Hayley Easton Street and writer Cat Clarke don’t think that’s enough for Meg (Hiftu Quasem) to endure in one lifetime. A year before the present-day story, the main character barely survived a vicious street attack after she and her then-partner, Kayla (Natalie Mitson), crossed paths with a gang of homophobes. This moment, while coming across as a bit forced into the story, is damn brutal. 

Fast forward and Meg is on her way to a coastal wedding — not her own, though, because she and Kayla have since split up. The latter felt responsible for the incident; somehow she didn’t expect these strangers to react so violently to hers and Meg’s PDA. Of course, it didn’t help how Kayla aggravated Meg’s attackers rather than just walk away. So it should come as no surprise how the wedding poses a challenge for Meg. Not only must she go out in public, but now she’s forced to find closure with her ex. Kayla is in attendance as well, and because the wedding’s bride can’t stand the awkwardness, the former couple is left on an island to talk things out. Which brings the movie to its shark element. 

Die-hard shark-horror connoisseurs will be happy to learn Something in the Water takes itself seriously. Very much so. And beyond the usual illogical behavior assigned to these creatures on screen, the sharks don’t act especially silly. The fish would even be fearsome if they actually had more to do in the movie than be the means to an end.

Those looking forward to pure sharksploitation will be disappointed; the sharks are used sparingly once they finally factor into the story. That underutilization, at the very least, helps limit the use of unsightly VFX (yet the movie isn’t completely devoid of it, either). If anything, though, it’s Meg who’s being exploited here. From that horrendous display of gay-bashing shown early on to then having to witness her friends succumb to either sharks or the sea, Meg suffers an undue amount of physical and emotional pain. The apparent objective is to show humans’ capacity to withstand the worst that life has to offer, but it would be remiss to ignore how awkwardly Something in the Water handles that message.

Something in the Water will show in select theaters and hit Digital May 3.

2 skulls out of 5

Something in the Water

Image: ‘Something in the Water’ poster courtesy of Samuel Goldwyn Films and StudioCanal.

Paul Lê is a Texas-based, Tomato approved critic at Bloody Disgusting, Dread Central, and Tales from the Paulside.

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The Birthday Murders: Viral Marketing Website Launches for ‘Longlegs’

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NEON has been absolutely slaying the marketing game for their horror output this year, and they’re kicking the Longlegs campaign into high gear with one more month until release.

A cryptic ad in The Seattle Times today (seen below) has led clever horror fans to discover TheBirthdayMurders.net, the brand new official viral marketing website for Longlegs.

The in-universe website details the victims of the serial killer known as Longlegs (Nicolas Cage), described as a “Satan-worshipping psycho” who has terrorized families throughout the Pacific Northwest for nearly three decades.

The website details, “A bloody trail of bodies here in the great state of Oregon attests to the depraved savagery of this one-of-a-kind serial killer. With over three dozen victims that we know of, LONGLEGS is one of the most prolific mass murderers ever to have graced the region, and his gruesome endeavors are the stuff of nightmares. At first, all of the killings appeared to be straightforward murder-suicides: the handiwork of average men who suddenly snapped and slaughtered their wives and children. But a series of eerie coded messages left at the crime scenes indicate that someone – or something – is influencing these horrific crimes. The cryptic letters are signed by someone calling himself LONGLEGS.”

“With thirty-eight kills to his name, LONGLEGS has torn apart the lives of eleven different families throughout the Beaver State. His victims were good people: honest fathers, decent mothers, innocent little children.”

The website is loaded with secrets, clues, and gruesome (faux) crime scene photos, and you might even find a mention of yours truly nestled in there. Poke around. Stay a while.

Longlegs arrives in theaters July 12.

The upcoming serial killer horror movie marks the return of director Osgood Perkins (The Blackcoat’s Daughter, Gretel & Hansel). Nicolas Cage stars alongside Maika Monroe, with Monroe playing an FBI agent and Cage playing a serial killer.

In the film, “FBI Agent Lee Harker (Monroe) is a gifted new recruit assigned to the unsolved case of an elusive serial killer (Cage). As the case takes complex turns, unearthing evidence of the occult, Harker discovers a personal connection to the merciless killer and must race against time to stop him before he claims the lives of another innocent family.

The film is rated “R” for “Bloody violence, disturbing images and some language.”

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