Arriving on DVD May 10th from Troma Entertainment is David Buchert’s Blood Oath, a film Ryan Daley despised is his previous review.

Bloody Disgusting Lauren Taylor received a copy of the Troma release and has tossed in her two cents, which isn’t much different than Daley’s.

Here’s the plot crunch, with a full review inside: “If you find the cabin in the woods, then you may find her. If you find her, then you’ll never be seen again… She’ll kill you, and then eat you… or worse.”
You must take any Troma release with a grain of salt.
In the case of Blood Oath, make sure you apply liberally.

The setup is simple. Charlie, his girlfriend-Beverly, and their friends – Lisa and Kevin – are camping for the weekend. Drinking beer around a campfire, they begin to tell a story about a local couple – the Krupps. One day a mysterious woman shows up at the Krupps’ door, stating that the Krupps are going to have twins. However to make this happen, both of them are instructed to put a drop of their blood into a golden pendant and bury it in their yard. Like any normal couple, they agree because why would there be any harm in a mysterious woman showing up at your door and predicting your future and asking for your blood?

Financial hardship soon falls on the Krupps, however their twins are born healthy. The woman shows up again, now stating that Mr. Krupp must sacrifice one of the twins much like God told Abraham to kill Isaac. He refuses and the woman retreats.

It isn’t until one night when they are driving that they see the mysterious woman standing in the roadway. A horrific accident occurs and Mr. and Mrs. Krupp are killed. One twin is adopted out after it avoids injury being thrown through the windshield. The other twin is badly scarred when it hits the dashboard. The mysterious woman takes this twin and raises it. The next thing we know, this twin is all grown up and is killing those who tread on its territory at the cabin in the woods.

Fast forward – What are bunch of overly horny, f-word wielding kids to do but go hunting for such a cabin where the horrific monster lives!

Once there, they discover remnants of college hazing victims in drawers full of class rings and cell phones. They find a room with a cliché baby crib, complete with a talking disfigured doll, which has them fighting between the idea of staying until dawn or trying to make their way back through the woods.

As Lisa states, it’s a tossup. “It’s just as darker out there.”
Just as darker, indeed, Lisa.

Stuck in the cabin, in the dead of night, the four must fight for their lives!

The effort to make this a legitimate film is painfully obvious. The set up of artistic shots are so blatant that one would think some exertion would have been put into the casting, let alone the writing. The “horrific” monster turns out to be a cross between a cheap wannabe `Leatherface’ and `Joseph in his technicolor dreamcoat’ – noting that he wears a smock made of scraps of his victims’ clothing. Perhaps this was an Ed Gein type homage, yet with no explanation it is hard to be sure. With true Troma style, we get a lesson in anatomy which reveals that the human head is very pliable and full of strawberry pie filling! In the end, the most cringe worthy aspect of the film is Jamie Reynolds’ (Kevin) acting.

Again, Blood Oath IS a Troma release – however there were so many moments that I would have liked for the killer to break through and put me out of my misery, that I am almost embarrassed.

1/5 Skulls