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Pro Wrestling Meets Halloween: Let’s Revisit the Top Five Moments from WCW’s “Halloween Havoc” Events!

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Happy Halloween, everyone! My name is Peter Antoncic and I am here with my partner-in-crime Chris Kieltyka. We write a wrestling-themed blog on the website 20x20apparel.com which will soon be turned into a podcast if you’d rather listen to our nonsense instead of reading it. Our focus is generally Top 5 Lists, which we call The Five Count. It’s usually us disagreeing with each other, making fun of what the other likes; we try to stay away from arguments about “the best” but more of what our favorites are, because everything in wrestling is subjective.

But when the subject of Halloween Havoc came up, we were right in line with each other. So instead of bickering back and forth, we decided to combine our efforts and give you, the readers of Bloody Disgusting, a little insight into what made WCW’s annual October PPV arguably their biggest event of the calendar year. Which… when you look at it, is probably a glimpse into the chaos and absurdity that was WCW.

I think we will be going in chronological order with these except for our consensus #1 pick. So let’s get right down to it…

1989 marked the first year that WCW had an October PPV and they dubbed it Halloween Havoc. This event came to us from Philadelphia, PA, which is a notoriously tough town for all sports, mostly for the out-of-town teams and fans. I distinctly remember watching this PPV as a child and asking my dad why the fans were booing the good guys (in this case, it was a California team with skateboards named the Dynamic Dudes) and cheering the bad guys (the cocky Southern-rock duo, the Fabulous Freebirds). He simply said, “Philly fans are assholes.” Fair assessment.

Throughout my life as a wrestling fan, I looked back fondly on the main event of this show, as I think most people in my generation did, for the match dubbed The Thunderdome Cage. When I was a kid, I thought this was the greatest thing ever. It pitted two of WCW’s all-time greats – Sting and Ric Flair – against their enemies at the time, the veteran Terry Funk, who came out of retirement to injure Flair just months earlier, and his partner, the mysterious Japanese wrestler, the Great Muta, who recently defeated Sting for the TV title. On top of all of the tension among the four participants, they were going to be put into a cage – but not just any cage, a giant electrified cage, from which no one could escape. There would also be what they called “terminators,” who accompanied each team. The only way a team could be victorious was when a terminator threw in the towel to signal that his team could no longer continue. The brutality!

And then, 30 years later, I rewatched the Thunderdome.

First off, we always discuss this… the perception of ‘age’ changes so much as you get older. Go figure, right? In my head, wrestlers like Funk and Flair were always “old.” But looking back here, Flair is 40 and Funk is 44. Compare that to wrestlers and athletes now, and to think that these two were the “grizzled vets” at the time is mind-blowing. Also add to that… Terry Funk is in the best shape of his life here. I wish I looked like a 45 year old Funk when I am 45… or when I was 35 or 25. Sting and Muta are a shade under 30, so everyone here is in the primes of their careers. Funny note about Sting… the announcer Jim Ross makes mention that Sting has been in the business for 3 years, he started in a tag team and that he has progressed further than his ex-partner. Nice little cheap shot by JR at Sting’s old running mate, the Ultimate Warrior, who at this time was Intercontinental Champion in the rival WWF.

So let’s talk about the cage itself. Normally, a cage match has a steel cage that sits on the edges of the ring, so you cannot get in or out of the ring. This cage was the first that I recall that went all the way to the floor, allowing wrestlers to hit the floor and maneuver around the ringside area. We take that for granted now with matches like Hell in the Cell, but this was revolutionary on this stage. It was different…. Oh boy, was it different. Instead of the cyclone fencing that WCW used or the “big blue” steel bars that WWF had at the time, this appeared to be made of thin rebar in a flimsy pattern, something like the collapsable cage that my wife bought to pen her pet rabbit in. For Halloween, it is decorated with spooky decor…. which consists of a few vines, some cobwebs and a tree branch. This reminds me of something you’d drag out of the Detroit River or an abandoned patio set. But it was electrified! So much so that a rag caught on fire and officials had to scramble to put it out. This actually led to one of the more memorable spots in the match where Muta spit his green mist to douse the flames! Which… the camera missed. Typical WCW. It’s sounds funny that this is a memorable spot… maybe it was just me? Nope, I was texting my buddy Derek about this match and that was the first thing he mentioned.

I mentioned that the cage was electrified, right? So that came up exactly once, when Muta was climbing the cage and got zapped, which once again, the camera didn’t pick up. Maybe they should have made sure that the cameras could tilt to view the highest part of the cage where the electricity was flowing like the mighty Mississippi. You know, where Sting and Muta ended up for the last half of the match and no one got shocked again. But there was a rope hanging there like your junior high gym class. Somehow, Sting allowed himself to get tied to the cage with it… good job by the camera NOT to shoot this because by all accounts from this viewer, he could have gotten out at any time. Even by wrestling standards, this was bad. But he finally freed himself and used the rope to swing into his opponent a few times, hitting him once and completely missing the other times. This looked so bad. SO BAD.

The finish of the match was also bad, even for 80’s WCW. The terminators (Ole Anderson and Gary Hart) were arguing, Anderson punched Hart and his towel flew into the air, signaling that he was submitting for his team of Funk and Muta. Sigh. Sometimes, you have to do something wacky so the loser doesn’t look like a loser and can go on to fight another day… but god, this looked corny and stupid.

So… was this a 5 star classic? No. God no. That’s why it made out list. The nostalgia factor is there, it was innovative for the time, it was full of Hall of Famers from the participants to the managers to the guest referee, Bruno Sammartino. Worth going back to watch? Absolutely.

Enough out of me. Let’s hand the pencil over to Chris to talk about his memories of the next two on our list.


After 1990 brought a more traditional card to Halloween Havoc, 1991 returned the cage used in the Thunderdome. This time ditching the cobwebs, ropes and tree branches for the infamous Chair of Torture! It would also be dubbed The Chamber of Horrors! Now the Chamber of Horrors match has been universally panned throughout history. As a wrestling match, it’s terrible. As a spectacle, it’s corny. But as a kid in 1991 renting this from Blockbuster video? It was amazing! And not because the Chair of Torture (which was an electric chair that was lowered from the ceiling mid-match, with no rhyme or reason) was believable or scary; we laughed at the absurdity of it back in 1991. The main reason something like the Chamber of Horrors was so fun as a kid, and still 17 years later why it is so fun to look back on is…  it’s different. There have been 40 – 40! – ! Hell in a Cell matches. How many of those have stood out? I’m sure plenty were great matches. But how many are universally remembered? 2? 3? Love it or hate it, for better or for worse, you remember the Chamber of Horrors.

Alright, so on to the show. This match would kick off the PPV, setting…ugh, the tone…for the night. But before the match kicks off some of the team members are spotted arriving to the arena. There was Cactus Jack and Abdullah The Butcher arriving in the epitome of a cheap rental car. It shouldn’t work, a bearded long haired lunatic and Abdullah, dressed like salesmen with a shrunken head on a poll, smoking a fat cigar. But dammit, do these guys look cool. We would also see Diamond Dallas Page arrive with the Diamond Studd and then Barry Windham would arrive and be attacked by Arn Anderson and Larry Zbyszko, having his arm slammed in the door ala Dusty Rhodes a few years earlier. It was a cool little promo that added something extra to the match.

So, on to the match. First the teams. On Team A you have the guy everyone had plenty of WCW cards of in the 90s, El Gigante. He would be joined by University of Michigan alumni,  The Steiners (Shout out to Rick Steiner for the Halloween themed tights) and the man they call Sting! Team B is staaaacked. Big Van Vader in spooky head gear. A young Scott Hall, looking jacked as the Diamond Studd. Cactus Jack, with full Halloween flair, entering with a chainsaw. And of course, the one and only. Abduuuulah The Butcher!

Keeping with the Halloween vibes, the Chamber of Horrors would have many “instruments of torture,” such as caskets in each corner, one filled with a masked jobber that felt the full wrath of a Scott Steiner bodyslam, and was then handcuffed to the cage from one of the random chains hanging on the cage. There was never really any explanation as to why this guy was in the casket, who he was, or what he was suppose to do. Which then also brings us to the Ghouls. The Ghouls were hospital orderlies, but with their faces painted white. I don’t know, WCW. They arrive on the entrance ramp carrying a stretcher for the victim of the chair of torture, which also arrives mid-match with really no rhyme or reason. It was so random that Cactus Jack was unaware of it lowering and was nearly crushed, if not a heads up from his foe Rick Steiner kicking him out from under it.

So stripped down of its gimmicks and shenanigans, the Chamber of Horrors is a cluster of a match. A lot of punch, kick, forearm combos mixed in with plenty of cage climbing from all involved. It is great seeing Abdullah The Butcher scaling the chamber though. But there is no denying its place in Halloween Havoc history thanks to the chair of torture!

Both teams would trade off fighting their way towards the chair, trying to strap in the other to flip the switch (dubbed the Fatal Lever) and send the flow of electricity through their foe. We are unsure if voltage was lowered just to stun or if the teams were battling to murder their opponent. The ring announcer stated that the chair would just render an opponent helpless, but then why describe the lever as “fatal”? Speaking of the lever… at the start of the match, you notice it is in the OFF position. But halfway through the match, it has fallen to the ON position. Whoops. Good thing the power box on the cage is in no way connected to the Chair. Whoops.

Regardless of all of that nonsense and speculation… we get to the point of Abdullah the Butcher placing a worn down Rick Steiner into the chair. With Abdullah’s partner Cactus Jack on the cage waiting to flip the switch (which has been returned to the upright and OFF position), Rick turns the tables and straps in Abdullah. For whatever reason, Cactus Jack decided there was no need to turn around and verify it was Abdullah in the chair…or maybe he did, and confused them. You know, they are hard to tell apart. But with Abdullah haphazardly strapped in the chair Cactus flipped the switch and sent the flow of electricity (and fireworks, and flames which set the ring on fire) through Abdullah’s body. The horror! The chair was indeed ridiculous, and Abdullah’s head was nowhere near secured in the chair…but it is an image that will forever be etched in pro wrestling history. Cactus would check on Abdullah who regained consciousness and laid waste to the ghouls waiting to cart him off, bringing an end to the one and only incarnation of the Chamber of Horrors.

The show would also include the Halloween Phantom and the Mysterious Creatures to add to the Halloween flavor. We would also be remiss not to include Detroit’s own PN News rap on this show, “Word up, it’s Havoc, 91. We’ll take care of business, and have, some fun! And when this parties over, hear the fat lady sing. PN and Josh, are the freshest when they do their thing!”


Come on, you know there was no way we would make a list of memorable Halloween Havoc moments and miss this one. The 1995 incarnation of Halloween Havoc was most notable for the insurance policy, the Yeti..or as Tony Schiavone would call him “ The Yet Tah”. But, before we get to the Yeti, we need to discuss how we got there. The main event for Halloween Havoc 1995 was the showdown between Hulk Hogan and the Dungeon of Doom’s top monster, The Giant. Now, we don’t have the time to run down all the insanity that was the Dungeon of Doom, but needless to say if you want to find some b-movie level gold, go and dig up when Hogan meets the Dungeon of Doom. Hogan is summoned to what appears to be a cave? A Castle? Whatever it may be, Hogan delivers some memorable lines like “There’s no Hulkamanics here! I’ve never been here before!” and “Ahhh! That’s not hot!” when touching what would appear to be scalding water. But it was in this promo that the young rookie The Giant would break through the stone wall to signal the end of Hulkamania! It was set in stone!!! The stage was set.  

Leading into Halloween Havoc, the Dungeon of Doom would look to torment Hogan. They would shave off his signature mustache, try to snap his neck and The Giant would run over his hog with the Dungeon of Doom Monster Truck. This would lead Hogan to ditch his signature red and yellow (and give a little preview to the heel NWO Hollywood Hogan look to come in a few months) and it would also set the stage for the double match main event. Machine vs machine, The Monster Truck Sumo Match and if they survive, Man vs Man. Hogan vs The Giant for the gold!

First up, The Monster Truck Sumo Match. The world of wrestling is a weird and wonderful place. For many, this is a moment deserving of mockery. But over at 20×20 Apparel, we love it. And in the year 2018 and the age of social media, the oddball and wacky moments have carved out their own corner in the world of wrestling. So the premise of this match was the two trucks were welded together in a circle similar to a sumo match. Hulk Hogan and The Giant would man their respective trucks and try to push the other out. All four axles must leave the circle. The fun part for us during the few minutes these two trucks skidded around in a circle, was seeing our Detroit skyline and the Cobo roof parking forever immortalized in Halloween Havoc history. I’ve spent a few times tailgating right in that sumo ring…but I digress. Also, as we mention the Cobo, we can’t skip over the fact Detroit wrestling legend, and man who built the Cobo, The Sheik, appeared earlier on this card. Awesome to see him make an appearance on a modern wrestling PPV…. throwing a fireball, no less!

Anyways, back to the “match”. After a few moments of skidding around and an extremely well timed, “this is exciting” from color commentary Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, Hogan would victoriously muscle the Giant and his Dungeon of Doom Monster Truck out of the circle. The match was won, but the war was far from over. The Giant would hop out of his truck and chase Hogan right to edge of the Cobo roof. As he tried to choke Hogan over the edge, the Hulkster would break free and appear to inadvertently commit a homicide, as The Giant goes flying over the edge and into the Detroit River. Did the Giant survive? Is he floating down to Canada? Was he taken by a mutated freak fish, as the Rock would famously name them a few years later? Only time will tell…..

This leads us to the main event. Hogan would come down to the ring with his manager Jimmy Hart and apologize for the Giant taking the plunge brother! Wait, shouldn’t he be in Detroit Police custody? Anyways, he would soon be interrupted by none other than The Giant! Looking fresh, not a scrape or broken bone from a 5 story fall, and no explanation why…ahhh, wrestling. What follows is a standard Hogan match. Some back a forth, beating the odds of a monster big man. The crowd was into though, and kudos to Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan for giving this a big match feel. Hogan would slam The Giant just as he did his father Andre 8 year earlier (not really his father, that’s a story for a whole other time….) and just as Hogan was primed for the pin Jimmy Hart would turn on him, hitting the Hulkster with the World Title belt. This would lead to a disqualification and the arrival of the Yet Taaah! Hogan would fall victim to a duel bear hug…or horny mummy…also yes, he is named after an Abominable Snowman from Nepal, but for some reason is a mummy. The show would end with Hogan laid out, the Giant and the Dungeon of Doom on top. Also to note here… The Giant beat Hulk Hogan in his very first match, and due to a pre-match stipulation, he won the WCW World Title! He was stripped of it on Nitro due to the controversial finish (because having a title change on a DQ is ok but not after a mummy-humping). Again… WCW in the 90s is an onion. We can’t peel all of the layers for you. If we did, you’d be crying.

Like others on our list, this was far from a mat classic. But there is no denying the memorable moments. From the sumo match, to the possible death of The Giant and the appearance of the Yet Taaaah! Alright, we return to Pete for the fourth pick..


I had a hard time deciding between 1997 and 1998 here. 98 had a rematch of Hulk Hogan and the (Ultimate) Warrior, 8 years after their epic meeting (and then a main event that was very good… but wasn’t shown on the PPV and had to be shown the next night on free television). Here in 1997, we have Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper in a rematch from a feud from 1985. Whew. But it’s in a steel cage! So it has to be better than the original. Cages make every match better, right? We are rolling with 1997. Let’s get down to business.

The cage we have here is very similar to the Thunderdome actually, minus the cobwebs and tree branches. It doesn’t have the weird top and it’s a little more sturdy, which is good. Maybe I am just blanking and all WCW cages of the late 80s and early 90s were like this. God they had some gems. And by gems…. You see where we are going with that. But I digress. Michael Buffer doing the announcing here gives us the “big match feel” and oh my god, there is thunder and lightning as Piper and Hogan come down the aisle. This is truly a Halloween spectacle now. As noted earlier, WCW does a good job with their stage setup –  ghouls and tombstones and everything spooky really does give their PPVs, especially Halloween Havoc, a unique feel. In recent years, Eric Bischoff (WCW executive at the time) has said that he wanted each monthly show to have its own identity and this certainly hit the mark for the month of October.

So the match itself is what a wrestling fan would expect. Kick, punch, eye rakes, eye pokes, forearms… but hey, the people are into it, so it’s all good. Wait, the people aren’t into it? The arena is silent? But that’s the excuse everyone gives when a match isn’t good and they have to justify why we should still enjoy it. Well let’s just keep going, I can ramble about that at another time. Tune in when our podcast comes out to hear me go off about stupid little things in the wrestling world. Oh it’s a cage match, meant to keep the participants in and everyone else out and what happens…. Hogan and Piper get out, and eventually Macho Man Randy Savage makes his way in, albeit in a spectacular way. That would be memorable enough, as he jumped from the top of this incredibly tall cage all the way to the ring… but the best is yet to come.

So let’s back up a second. Hogan is feuding with Sting at this point (Sting is a focal point of so many Halloween Havoc PPVs, Jesus…). Here in 1997, Sting is dressing like The Crow and stalking the Hulkster and his fellow members of the NWO. Throughout this match, there are numerous people dressed as Sting who surround the ring, trying to play mind games with Hogan. So the match ends, Piper puts Hogan down with the Sleeper Hold, yadda yadda yadda (Yes, I just yadda yadda’ed Hulk Hogan doing a clean submission loss on PPV), and now Piper is being attacked by Hogan and Savage, handcuffed to the cage and being beaten. The crowd is chanting, “We want Sting! We want Sting,” All of the fake Stings have made their way into the cage and have been beaten down. Wait for it. In comes…. STING!

No, it’s a fan. In a Sting mask. Now if you are unaware, there are not many rules in wrestling. But one of them is…. A fan can say or do whatever they want from their side of the guard rail. Once they cross that line, it’s game-on. Well, Randy Savage abides by this rule, 100%, as does Hulk Hogan. That comes in a second. Anyways, WCW is so unorganized that they don’t even realize that this ia fan who is climbing the cage. The cameraman is shooting this like it is part of the match, where usually the direction is to not shoot it and pretend it is not happening, as to avoid copycats doing it later on for attention. Security just lets it happen. Thank god the ref notices it and one of the other “Stings” in the ring grab hold of the kid… just long enough for Hogan and Savage to come over and beat the shit out of him before security gets their heads out of their asses and gets him out of the ring. Meanwhile, Piper is still handcuffed to the cage, the crowd wants the real Sting and the PPV goes off the air. The end.

For a show that had what is considered one of the best matches of this era between Eddy Guerrero and Rey Mysterio and a really fun Texas Death Match between Randy Savage and DDP, the fact that we remember this PPV for ending with this debacle speaks volumes. And hey, we focus on nonsense anyways, if you haven’t noticed, so this is right up our alley. Once again, WCW puts a time stamp in the memories of their fans with something like this.

And now it is time for our favorite Halloween Havoc memory – Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal! And the wheel lands back on Chris.


The fireworks and explosions for the wheel spin is a bit much, and ultimately makes the end of it anti-climatic. Nonetheless, if you are to pick the best match in Halloween Havoc history, this one is right up there with Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio Jr.

In general, the rules of Texas Death Match is a man must be pinned, followed by a 30 second rest period, and then a 10 count for that man to reach his feet. There are no disqualifications or count outs. As cool as the name is, the rules here are a little convoluted. That doesn’t take away from how great and brutal this match is.

There is really no Halloween shenanigans that makes this one stand out, except for the moment when they fall into the open grave in the foggy graveyard entrance. Which also causes an amazing shot of Vader climbing out of the grave, fog billowing over him. This would be a good time to note how fantastic these early Halloween Havoc sets were. They may come across cheap or cheesy, but I love them. There is usually some funny easter eggs on the gravestones and some other general “spookiness”, and this one also included a few prop cactus plants. A nice touch. But back to the match. What makes this one stand out as a memorable Halloween Havoc moment is how intense of a match it was. This is a knock down, drag out battle. And lord, is it stiff. This is one that clearly lives in a different time and era. Never again, and rightfully so, will we see the shots these guys are taking. The moment when Vader drops back on the entrance ramp with Cactus Jack on his back is beyond brutal. The legend goes (mentioned in his first book) Foley was looking to cash in on a Lloyds of London policy here, so he was openly taking dangerous spots like this in hopes of having an injury. The early 90s were wild.

As great as this match was, it ends on quite a dud. With Cactus and Vader squaring off on the ramp, it would appear all is over after Vader DDT’s Cactus on a steel chair and paramedics are called out. They are chased off by Vader who gets the pin but Cactus is up and ready to go with a DDT of his own. Since the rest period is technically going during this, the 30 seconds are up, and as Cactus Jack is getting up he is tasered by Vader’s manager Harley Race and down for the count. Vader is your winner. It is very anticlimactic finish to one of the better matches in Halloween Havoc history.

Wait wait wait…get out of my way. We said that Spin the Wheel would be our #1 pick but not 1993. Come on… we are talking about….


1992 gives WCW the present of long-time WWF superstar Jake the “Snake” Roberts joining their roster. He is known for his Hall of Fame-caliber ability to talk and he shows that here. Leading up to this match against Sting, there are some very good promos…. There are also some very cheesy ones, but what else can you expect from a Halloween-themed PPV from WCW in the 90s?

So to restate some of what Chris mentioned…. Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal is basically a giant wheel with 12 types of matches. Lots of fireworks and gaga around it, but it’s just a randomizer to see what type of match these two would be in. And there were some classic choices – First Blood, Cage Match, Texas Bullrope… Coal Miner’s Glove. What? Oh it will never land on tha— oh shit. It did. So urban legend says that unlike everything else in wrestling, this particular moment was not planned out and they legitimately let it land on whatever. Since then, WCW announcer Tony Schiavone has said that the Coal Miner’s Glove was always going to be the winner, although he was afraid that they would screw that up too and allow it to land on something else.. So either way, this is a disaster. Jesse Ventura, who is announcing the match at ringside, quickly tells the audience that a glove made of reinforced steel will be placed on a pole above the ring and the first person to grab it will be able to use it on their opponent. So again, either they knew what was going to happen or he was very quick on his feet.

Some more quick notes as we start the match. The ring announcer calls it a “Lights Out Match,” and quickly has to double back and explain that it is a Coal Miner’s Glove match. And they show the pole where the glove is attached and it’s way taller than it should have been. It has to be 15 feet tall. Hopefully one of these two wrestlers can climb a pole better than I could. And then Jim Ross, who is calling the match with Jesse Ventura, mentions that there is anti-venom at ringside in case Jake’s cobra bites anyone. Although… Jake doesn’t have his snake with him. Maybe JR can see into the future!

Let’s get this out of the way right now…. This match is awful. This is a debate that we often have and I am sure it will come up again and again if you tune in to our podcast. I understand that times change. You can’t compare a match from the 80s or 90s to a match today, just like you can’t compare sports teams or athletes from different eras or a horror movie with Bela Lugosi to one that is full of CGI and gore from 2018. But you can appreciate it for what it is in the context of that era… and the great ones transcend all eras. So I’m not shitting on some of these matches because I’m a new-age fan. This one in particular just does not stand the test of time. Lots of circling each other, stalling, circling, stalling, not a lot of action. And then comes the ending which is bad in any era.

Roberts’ cohort Cactus Jack comes down to the ring to give Jake his cobra, seemingly to attack Sting with. Jake takes it out of the bag, Sting has climbed the 82 foot pole to retrieve the glove and he punches Jake in the ribs with it….  and then the snake bites Jake in the face! Kinda. Or Jake just holds it up to his cheek while Sting pins him. Then he takes it off because it’s not biting him… and then he presses it back into his face, hoping it will latch on or draw blood or do SOMETHING. Ugh. Awful. Also, poor snake getting tossed around here. I get that they trying to play off of an angle with Jake and Randy Savage where a cobra was used but this just does not work. In an effort to be edgy, it just ends up looking bad and the crowd is left confused. That’s just want you want in Philly- to leave the crowd with a reason to burn something or cause a riot.

So that’s my pick for the memorable Spin the Wheel match in Halloween Havoc history. That Texas Death Match was ok, but this is the one that I remember when I am thinking about WCW in October.


And there you have it. Our take on WCW’s annual October tradition, Halloween Havoc. If you are a fan of wrestling and the lighter side of the sport that we love (and love to hate sometimes), feel free to follow us on all social media platforms (Facebook, Instagram and Twitter at @20x20Pod and @20x20Apparel). Original wrestling T-Shirts for sale on the store, including a Halloween Havoc-themed shirt if this article has you in the mood to celebrate October all year long.

The website is – www.20x20Apparel.com – where you can also read our past lists just like the one you read today, under the Five Count dropdown. We also have a podcast coming soon if you want to hear us ramble on about everything professional wrestling. You can also see us live and in person at the Astronomicon Convention in February 2019 in Sterling Heights, MI. Wrestling, horror, comics and everything pop culture are under one roof at Astronomicon.

Editorials

‘Amityville Karen’ Is a Weak Update on ‘Serial Mom’ [Amityville IP]

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Amityville Karen horror

Twice a month Joe Lipsett will dissect a new Amityville Horror film to explore how the “franchise” has evolved in increasingly ludicrous directions. This is “The Amityville IP.”

A bizarre recurring issue with the Amityville “franchise” is that the films tend to be needlessly complicated. Back in the day, the first sequels moved away from the original film’s religious-themed haunted house storyline in favor of streamlined, easily digestible concepts such as “haunted lamp” or “haunted mirror.”

As the budgets plummeted and indie filmmakers capitalized on the brand’s notoriety, it seems the wrong lessons were learned. Runtimes have ballooned past the 90-minute mark and the narratives are often saggy and unfocused.

Both issues are clearly on display in Amityville Karen (2022), a film that starts off rough, but promising, and ends with a confused whimper.

The promise is embodied by the tinge of self-awareness in Julie Anne Prescott (The Amityville Harvest)’s screenplay, namely the nods to John Waters’ classic 1994 satire, Serial Mom. In that film, Beverly Sutphin (an iconic Kathleen Turner) is a bored, white suburban woman who punished individuals who didn’t adhere to her rigid definition of social norms. What is “Karen” but a contemporary equivalent?

In director/actor Shawn C. Phillips’ film, Karen (Lauren Francesca) is perpetually outraged. In her introductory scenes, she makes derogatory comments about immigrants, calls a female neighbor a whore, and nearly runs over a family blocking her driveway. She’s a broad, albeit familiar persona; in many ways, she’s less of a character than a caricature (the living embodiment of the name/meme).

These early scenes also establish a fairly straightforward plot. Karen is a code enforcement officer with plans to shut down a local winery she has deemed disgusting. They’re preparing for a big wine tasting event, which Karen plans to ruin, but when she steals a bottle of cursed Amityville wine, it activates her murderous rage and goes on a killing spree.

Simple enough, right?

Unfortunately, Amityville Karen spins out of control almost immediately. At nearly every opportunity, Prescott’s screenplay eschews narrative cohesion and simplicity in favour of overly complicated developments and extraneous characters.

Take, for example, the wine tasting event. The film spends an entire day at the winery: first during the day as a band plays, then at a beer tasting (???) that night. Neither of these events are the much touted wine-tasting, however; that is actually a private party happening later at server Troy (James Duval)’s house.

Weirdly though, following Troy’s death, the party’s location is inexplicably moved to Karen’s house for the climax of the film, but the whole event plays like an afterthought and features a litany of characters we have never met before.

This is a recurring issue throughout Amityville Karen, which frequently introduces random characters for a scene or two. Karen is typically absent from these scenes, which makes them feel superfluous and unimportant. When the actress is on screen, the film has an anchor and a narrative drive. The scenes without her, on the other hand, feel bloated and directionless (blame editor Will Collazo Jr., who allows these moments to play out interminably).

Compounding the issue is that the majority of the actors are non-professionals and these scenes play like poorly performed improv. The result is long, dull stretches that features bad actors talking over each other, repeating the same dialogue, and generally doing nothing to advance the narrative or develop the characters.

While Karen is one-note and histrionic throughout the film, at least there’s a game willingness to Francesca’s performance. It feels appropriately campy, though as the film progresses, it becomes less and less clear if Amityville Karen is actually in on the joke.

Like Amityville Cop before it, there are legit moments of self-awareness (the Serial Mom references), but it’s never certain how much of this is intentional. Take, for example, Karen’s glaringly obvious wig: it unconvincingly fails to conceal Francesca’s dark hair in the back, but is that on purpose or is it a technical error?

Ultimately there’s very little to recommend about Amityville Karen. Despite the game performance by its lead and the gentle homages to Serial Mom’s prank call and white shoes after Labor Day jokes, the never-ending improv scenes by non-professional actors, the bloated screenplay, and the jittery direction by Phillips doom the production.

Clocking in at an insufferable 100 minutes, Amityville Karen ranks among the worst of the “franchise,” coming in just above Phillips’ other entry, Amityville Hex.

Amityville Karen

The Amityville IP Awards go to…

  • Favorite Subplot: In the afternoon event, there’s a self-proclaimed “hot boy summer” band consisting of burly, bare-chested men who play instruments that don’t make sound (for real, there’s no audio of their music). There’s also a scheming manager who is skimming money off the top, but that’s not as funny.
  • Least Favorite Subplot: For reasons that don’t make any sense, the winery is also hosting a beer tasting which means there are multiple scenes of bartender Alex (Phillips) hoping to bring in women, mistakenly conflating a pint of beer with a “flight,” and goading never before seen characters to chug. One of them describes the beer as such: “It looks like a vampire menstruating in a cup” (it’s a gold-colored IPA for the record, so…no).
  • Amityville Connection: The rationale for Karen’s killing spree is attributed to Amityville wine, whose crop was planted on cursed land. This is explained by vino groupie Annie (Jennifer Nangle) to band groupie Bianca (Lilith Stabs). It’s a lot of nonsense, but it is kind of fun when Annie claims to “taste the damnation in every sip.”
  • Neverending Story: The film ends with an exhaustive FIVE MINUTE montage of Phillips’ friends posing as reporters in front of terrible green screen discussing the “killer Karen” story. My kingdom for Amityville’s regular reporter Peter Sommers (John R. Walker) to return!
  • Best Line 1: Winery owner Dallas (Derek K. Long), describing Karen: “She’s like a walking constipation with a hemorrhoid”
  • Best Line 2: Karen, when a half-naked, bleeding woman emerges from her closet: “Is this a dream? This dream is offensive! Stop being naked!”
  • Best Line 3: Troy, upset that Karen may cancel the wine tasting at his house: “I sanded that deck for days. You don’t just sand a deck for days and then let someone shit on it!”
  • Worst Death: Karen kills a Pool Boy (Dustin Clingan) after pushing his head under water for literally 1 second, then screeches “This is for putting leaves on my plants!”
  • Least Clear Death(s): The bodies of a phone salesman and a barista are seen in Karen’s closet and bathroom, though how she killed them are completely unclear
  • Best Death: Troy is stabbed in the back of the neck with a bottle opener, which Karen proceeds to crank
  • Wannabe Lynch: After drinking the wine, Karen is confronted in her home by Barnaby (Carl Solomon) who makes her sign a crude, hand drawn blood contract and informs her that her belly is “pregnant from the juices of his grapes.” Phillips films Barnaby like a cross between the unhoused man in Mulholland Drive and the Mystery Man in Lost Highway. It’s interesting, even if the character makes absolutely no sense.
  • Single Image Summary: At one point, a random man emerges from the shower in a towel and excitedly poops himself. This sequence perfectly encapsulates the experience of watching Amityville Karen.
  • Pray for Joe: Many of these folks will be back in Amityville Shark House and Amityville Webcam, so we’re not out of the woods yet…

Next time: let’s hope Christmas comes early with 2022’s Amityville Christmas Vacation. It was the winner of Fangoria’s Best Amityville award, after all!

Amityville Karen movie

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