When they say you can find anything on eBay, they really mean it. 

Haunted objects are lurking all over the same site where you can unearth anything from antique dolls to Star Wars figures. Of course, those same things (and doorknobs, and jewelry, and obscure toys from the ‘80s) can be possessed by malicious spirits that can freak out even the most fearless horror movie junkie.

If these 13 objects aren’t enough proof that you should always read the item description before buying something you wish you could—but can’t—return, then you’re either a demonologist or just waiting to get possessed…

Buy one, get one free

This might be the strangest gift with purchase ever. Just get a necklace off the seller’s hands, and you can have a creepy doll with the ghost of a 13th century Libyan courtesan trapped in it for free! 

If it helps, the courtesan supposedly spent her life in an upscale brothel and chose to hide in a Princess Diana doll (seriously, of all the dolls that could be haunted) and has the power to control other spirits. Maybe she could drive away a pesky poltergeist.

Nightmare Stormtrooper

Empty stare? Check. Soulless eyes? Check. Spirit trapped inside with a capacity for giving you blood-freezing nightmares? Check and check. 

Not that Stormtroopers don’t already induce those feelings in the Rebel forces, but the seller says this plastic version will fire-bomb you with images of a house in flames and nightmares “with a man screaming while trapped in the same burning house”.

Maybe listing NIGHTMARES as one of the top selling points wasn’t such a great idea.

Bizarre ritual goblet

This vessel was found in the ruins of The Museum of Haunted Things and was used for rituals of necromancy, which should bring about some really pressing questions right away. It really makes you wonder what the last living person who touched their lips to this thing drank out of it. Wine? Liquor? Blood of a thousand virgins? Sure.

The seller claims that it “has an amazing energy to it which some perceive as negative and malignant” but others find strangely positive. It’s obviously a vessel in more than one way.

Jack and Jill

Because wedding gifts are notoriously repetitive (toasters) or expensive (appliances), here’s one that won’t break the bank and has a little something extra. 

How did the seller realize they were possessed? Their faces started glowing red in the rearview mirror as she drove them home from an equally creepy yard sale, and that was roughly when she realized the dead cat that was lying at the side of the road that led there was probably no coincidence. 

Best cake toppers ever…especially if it’s your ex getting married.

Asylum knobs

Asylums are some of the most haunted places in the world, and considering the torture that passed for medical treatments back in days of ice-pick lobotomies, it’s no wonder. 

You can probably imagine these literally opened the doors to some disturbing procedures that sent screams echoing through the entire place. The seller warns that after the asylum was abandoned, there were whispers of “strange lights at night and horrid noises”. These are definitely not the decorative knobs you want for that antique feel.

Black Heart the Clown

Coulrophobes definitely need not apply, because this clown is actually possessed. There must be some reason earthbound spirits seem to be attracted to objects that already look terrifying. If that painted stare doesn’t freak you out, what the seller has to say definitely will:

“You will hear bumps in the night with this one! Black Heart is a very old soul from way back in the late 1800’s. She is a very strong spirit.”

Headless nun

While the face of the nun in The Nun is scary enough, sometimes a nun without a face is even scarier. This doll was decapitated and dismembered to symbolize the breaking of her vows. You can’t really blame Sister for wanting out in the days when girls were just sent to convents against their will.

Maybe after she fell from grace, she felt she still needed to stick around to avenge herself. Have mercy.

Dybbuk box

“Demonic entity attachment: DO NOT OPEN” – kind of says it all right there.

Just in case you have no idea what a dybbuk is, it’s a malicious spirit that will possess you until it gets what it wants (whatever that is). There have been rumors of people who have summoned one forth after having a little too much fun with a Ouija board, then trapped it in a vessel like this. 

Still, there’s a sort of sick irony that eBay policy says this thing has to be listed as a novelty. If you’re not planning on sleeping anytime soon, you can read the whole story behind it here.

Vengeful voodoo doll

If it looks like a corpse, acts like a corpse, and might possibly contain a spirit that escaped someone’s corpse and is out for revenge, well…you can probably guess.

The “strong dark energy” that lurks in this voodoo doll should be obvious just with a glance at what remains of that face, which can hardly be called a face. The seller doesn’t specify what kind of skin is stretched over its head. Maybe no one should ever know. 

Haunted doll-in-a-box

At first, this could be a prop from Spirit Halloween. It’s a wooden box with a “be very afraid” sticker you find even on chocolate bars this time of year. But wait. The seller claims that if you break the seal, “strange things start to happen.” 

The fact that they don’t tell you exactly what kinds of strange things should freak you out enough to stay away from this monstrosity.

Even more Dybbuk dolls

Matryoshka or Russian nesting dolls hide smaller versions of themselves inside, which is freaky enough if you really think about it. Open these and you’ll release more than doll clones. 

By the way—you absolutely have to keep these behind glass. Otherwise, according to the seller, “you will experience electrical malfunctions, weird smells, horrible dreams, things being moved out of place, especially children’s things if you have any, and you may even catch a glimpse of…black smoke or fog that comes and goes in and out of the walls”.

Crystal skull necklace

When nightmares just aren’t enough, you might want something that can take over your thoughts and otherwise scare you halfway to your grave. The only solution to this kind of thing, at least which I’ve seen on legit paranormal investigation shows, is to throw it in some unfathomably deep body of water and never look back.

Da Grunt

It’s terrifying enough to look at already, so at that point the seller probably just figured it didn’t matter that this relic of the ‘80s (which looks like it could have a DNA connection to a Crite) had a dark voodoo ritual performed over it, moves on its own without batteries, and might have caused a tornado. They just casually threw that last part in there.

Can someone please make a B-movie about this guy? Thanks in advance.