Every week, we spotlight a kill that we just can’t get enough of. This is Kill of the Week.
What’s your favorite opening scene in a horror movie? Scream is notable for having a pretty excellent one, while the Dawn of the Dead remake similarly started on the most awesome of notes. One that deserves to be in that conversation but is, for reasons that are probably obvious, often left out of it? The holiday horror classic, Santa’s Slay!
Directed by David Steiman, 2005’s Santa’s Slay starred pro wrestler Bill Goldberg as Santa Claus himself… albeit a heavily modified version of the magical holiday mascot. As the film explains in a Rankin/Bass-inspired stop-motion sequence, “Santa Claus” was originally the son of Satan, but after losing a curling match to an angel hundreds of years ago, he was doomed to a life of being a benevolent gift-giver. The curse only lasted 1,000 years, however… ending in, you guessed it, 2005.
Okay, so we realize Santa’s Slay isn’t exactly the finest that the holiday horror sub-genre has to offer, but if you’re looking for some wacky fun on the road to the big day, you really can’t go wrong with Bill freakin’ Goldberg as Satan Claus. The film wastes absolutely no time getting to the good stuff, kicking off with an opening dinner sequence that sees Goldberg Claus coming down a chimney and creatively slaughtering the likes of Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan, and James Caan.
He even kicks a dog into a ceiling fan after massacring the unlucky C-list stars, because this movie is totally bonkers and wants you to know that right off the bat.
Death by egg nog. Death by tree topper. This opening scene has it all!