Movies
Some of the Worst Horror Movie Taglines of All Time!
Marketing executives are kind of like greeting card writers – it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to be a good one, but there is a kind of art to communicating a desired mood or idea in a limited amount of space. Just look at the impact a good movie tagline can have: “In space, no one can hear you scream” (Alien, as if you didn’t already know) has inspired almost as many tagline copycats as the actual movie did cinematic ones. On the flip side, a bad tagline has the capacity to either make a negative impression on moviegoers or – even worse – to make no impression at all. Surprisingly, some truly great films have been saddled with some less-than-stellar taglines over the years, which ironically stands as a testament to how good said films really are. More common, though, are the cases in which the films and their respective taglines are of a piece, quality-wise – both deserving of their places in the cultural gutter. Be it awkward grammar (don’t the people who write these things double-check their work?), misused words (I’m pretty sure dictionaries have been around for awhile now), or just plain awfulness, following is my list of the ten worst taglines in horror film history. And please, if I missed one of your favorites, instead of calling me a douchebag or wishing me a slow and agonizing death, simply leave it in the comments section for everyone else to enjoy. And then wish me a slow and agonizing death.
Tagline: “A new — and altogether different — screen excitement!!!”
It’s not only “different”, it’s “altogether different”. Which makes it even more different than normal. It also has three exclamation points, which means I should be excited.
Tagline: “The most exciting original motion picture event of all time.”
If this is the most exciting original motion picture event of all time, I’m taking a leap off the nearest skyscraper. Screw it, A*P*E is playing next door. Let’s just see that one. (see: #2)
Tagline: “TODAY – the Pond! TOMORROW – the World!”
According to a recent study, the word “pond” is second only to “lavender” in its ability to block the effects of fear on the human psyche.
Tagline: “Every Year Young People Disappear”
I concur.
Tagline: “She gives you that weird feeling!”
Um…ok. “Weird”, like when a creepy three-year-old kid is staring at you in the checkout line at the grocery store? “Weird”, like when you’ve eaten too many pot brownies? I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me exactly, but whatever it is, I’m pretty sure it’s lame.
Tagline: “Science created him. Now Chuck Norris must destroy him.”
“Sir, Chuck Norris is on the phone again. I tried to get rid of him, but he keeps saying he has a good idea for the poster. Also something about deadly pressure points, the usefulness of his beard as a cutting tool, and his ability to explode the human heart with a single glance. Maybe we should just do what he says.”
Tagline: “The only people who will not be STERILIZED with FEAR are those among you who are already DEAD!”
I never really wanted children anyway.
Tagline: Mightiest monster in all creation! Ravishing a universe for love!
Ok, either the marketing team didn’t know the difference between a verb and an adjective, or Mothra is…raping the universe?
Tagline: “Not to be confused with KING KONG.”
Thanks for clearing that up – it reminds me of the time I rented Transmorphers from the video store on accident. Also, I’m an idiot.
Tagline: “GOD HATES YOU!”
You are nothing but an inconsequential larva squirming beneath the filthy boot-heel of the hateful universe! Now go see our movie, you worthless, disgusting piece of insect-riddled goat excrement! And then kill yourself! Note: I actually can’t decide if this is the worst or the most bitchin’ tagline ever. I’m leaning towards both.
The holiday weekend means a light week for new horror releases, but it does bring the return of Dark Castle Entertainment to select theaters. It’s being joined by 6 new horror movies.
Here’s all the new horror releasing June 29, 2026 – July 3, 2026!
For daily reminders about new horror releases, be sure to follow @HorrorCalendar.
You wished for it. The highest-grossing horror movie of the year (so far), Curry Barker’s Obsession, arrived on Digital on June 30.
In Curry Barker’s theatrical debut Obsession, after breaking the mysterious One Wish Willow to win his crush’s heart, a hopeless romantic finds himself getting exactly what he asked for but soon discovers that some desires come at a dark, sinister price.
Michael Johnston (“Teen Wolf”), Inde Navarette (“Superman & Lois”), Cooper Tomlinson (“That’s a Bad Idea,” Milk & Serial), Megan Lawless (The Death That Awaits), and Emmy Award-nominee Andy Richter (“Conan,” Elf) star.
Based on a story by director James Kondelik (Behind The Walls) and a screenplay by Canadian writer Victor Rose, survival thriller Pitfall headed home to Digital on June 30. Family is murder in this Cineverse release.
In Pitfall, a young man becomes separated from his friends in the woods and plunges into a ten-foot pit lined with spikes, impaling his leg and leaving him helpless. As reality sinks in and his situation grows dire, he realizes the fall wasn’t an accident.
The film stars Richard Harmon (Final Destination: Bloodlines), Alexandra Essoe (The Pope’s Exorcist), and UFC champion Randy Couture (The Expendables) as the ruthless killer who stalks his prey in the woods. Marshall Williams (The Ice Road), Jordan Claire Robbins (The Umbrella Academy), and Matt Hamilton (Murder for Sale) also star.
The Amityville IP leans into Jaws with Amityville Shark House, just in time for the Fourth of July holiday too, as it released on Digital June 30.
Will Collazo Jr. (Amityville Thanksgiving) and Shawn C. Phillips (Amityville Karen) co-direct from a script they wrote with Julie Anne Prescott.
In the movie, after discovering an ominous shark idol hidden beneath the decaying floorboards, Richard unknowingly awakens an ancient and savage force. As the entity begins to merge with him, a quiet coastal town descends into blood-soaked chaos.
With each victim claimed, the monstrous predator grows stronger, fueling a cult’s belief that their dark god has been reborn. Now, the race is on to stop the carnage before evil consumes everything in its path.
Phillips and Prescott also star alongside Tasha Tacosa, Maritza Brikisak, Gigi Gustin (The Retaliators), Adam Marino, and Carl Solomon.
Available on Digital, Blu-ray, and DVD as of June 30 is Jacked, directed by John Fucile from a script he co-wrote with Simon Fraser.
The synopsis: “Set in the summer of 1987, JACKED follows two small-town teenagers whose day at the lake turns into a fight for survival after their car breaks down and they encounter a violent stalker.”
Marla Jean Robison, Tom Koch, Anthony Cipriani, Wynn Reichert, Kam Perez and Bella Marie star.
Get ready to work up a killer sweat and maybe spill some blood with Slashercise, a workout meets slasher hybrid that arrived exclusively on Bloodstream on July 1.
Written and directed by Ama Lea (Deathcember), the retro-styled feature follows “a masked killer known only as Meathead as he stalks the fitness clubs of Los Angeles, turning workout sessions into blood-soaked nightmares. As the city’s top trainers are picked off one by one, a group of determined fitness fanatics must fight back before they become the next bodies on the mat.”
Vanessa Decker (Stiletto), John Bloom (The Last Drive-In With Joe Bob Briggs), Spencer Charnas (Ice Nine Kills), Sarah French (Blind), Kelli Maroney (Night of the Comet), Sarah Nicklin (V/H/S/Halloween), Diana Prince (The Last Drive-In With Joe Bob Briggs), Jared Rivet (The Once and Future Smash), Felissa Rose (Sleepaway Camp), Tiffany Shepis (Victor Crowley), and Lisa Wilcox (A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master) star.
After a record-breaking box office run, A24 and director Kane Parsons’ feature debut is heading back to theaters with bonus footage. AMC Theatres is unleashing Backrooms: Everything Must Go Editiontoday, July 3.
In the film written by Will Soodik, the owner of Cap’n Clark’s Ottoman Empire discovers a strange doorway in the basement of the furniture showroom. He sets out to explore the mysterious, liminal space, walking headfirst into a creepypasta nightmare.
Chiwetel Ejiofor and Renate Reinsvestar.
AMC describes this release as a “theatrically exclusive post-credit” with additional footage from Kane Parsons. Expect 16 minutes of bonus footage, with the new version clocking in at 2 hours and 6 minutes.
The Last Exorcism director Daniel Stamm and Dark Castle Entertainment are back with Lockbox, in select theaters July 3. It adapts Soren Narnia‘s Knifepoint Horror Podcast story “Winthrop” by Emmy-winning playwright Justin Yoffe.
In Lockbox, “Seeking peace after her mother’s death, Ellen retreats to a rural town and takes in her severely traumatized cousin Winthrop. Their fragile domestic balance shatters when an erratic neighbor warns that Winthrop is dangerous. As strange phenomena escalate, Ellen must put everything on the line to defend Winthrop from a dangerous otherworldly entity determined to track him down.”
Lou Taylor Pucci (Touch Me, Evil Dead), Carla Gugino (The Haunting of Hill House, Gerald’s Game, The Fall of the House of Usher) and Katharine Isabelle (Ginger Snaps, Backrooms) star.
This week’s new release roundups are presented by Lockbox.
Be careful who you let in. Carla Gugino and Lou Taylor Pucci star in Lockbox, only in select theaters this Friday. Get tickets.
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