Editorials
12 Bloody Days of Christmas: Day 9 ‘Horror’s New Year’s Resolutions’
Weight loss. Quit smoking. Stop spending. Sounds familiar, right? With New Years Eve and the dawn of 2011 only about a week away, the year’s biggest, most burning question is probably hidden somewhere in the depths of your mind- what will be your New Year’s resolution? Looking over the past year in horror, it’s hard to imagine anyone NOT wanting to change something- whether it’s an ending, a release, or just a movie in general, horror, just like any genre, has had its share of ups and downs. So maybe this year’s burning question should be what is HORROR’S New Year’s Resolution? On the ninth day of Christmas, Bloody-Disgusting gave to me- “Horror’s New Year’s Resolutions”.

Day 1: Creepy Christmas Traditions
Day 2: Christmas Characters Gone Wrong
Day 3: Horrifying Holiday Decorations
Day 4: Twisted Yuletide Tales
Day 5: The Nightmare Before Christmas
Day 6: Creepy Christmas Movies
Day 7: Terrifying Toys
Day 8: Top 10 Potential Holiday Weapons
Day 9: Horror’s New Year’s Resolutions
Day 10: Top Picks for the New Year
Day 11: Ghosts of Christmas
Day 12: Happy Horror Holidays
Here is a list of what I think the genre should take into consideration as a collective New Year’s resolution. Oh, the possibilities.
“I promise to show more of an interest in original work.”
Last year brought us another remake, or, as Hollywood likes to call it, a “re-imagination.” A Nightmare on Elm Street brought one of my favorite villains, Freddy Krueger, back to the big screen. I was stoked when I saw that this was coming out- until I realized it was doing two horrible things: 1. No Robert Englund and 2. It was taking the Friday the 13th remake route with a back story and little creativity. I still gave it a shot and, like many, was disappointed. I’d rather see original masterpieces from a new wave of horror.
“I will give 3D a rest.”
I saw nearly every horror/thriller/sci-fi film that came out this year. And, following the trend, a number of them were in 3D. While I thought Piranha was a fun movie, I really wasn’t that impressed with the graphics. Same goes for Saw- good movie, not so good visuals. While Resident Evil Afterlife didn’t tease my neurons as a whole, the 3D was decent- but then there was My Soul to Take. Not only was the flick a waste of my precious, horror movie going time, but the 3D might as well have been non-existent. The morale of the story- if you’re going to make a 3D movie, make it good.
“I will stop feeding into vampires.”
I’m like most living, breathing females my age: I’ve read the Twilight series. I’ve watched the movies. I’ve chosen sides in Team Edward v. Team Jacob. But there comes a time when there are TOO many vampires giving chase. While I love the Vampire Diaries and True Blood will forever be one of my favorite shows, not to mention the respect I hold for Let Me In, there were a lot of unnecessary blood suckers running around the world in 2010. The best, worst example is Vampires Suck- while Scary Movie back in the day was fun, is it really necessary to make another stupid movie about a set of movies that isn’t even done yet? I’m a tad bit overdosed on vampires. I’d rather see some werewolves.
“If I’m going to go unrated, I’m going to go all out.”
Hatchet 2 proclaimed to have started a revolution- AMC Theaters pushed to release the movie, under limited release of course, unrated to its audiences. But it was pulled after only three days (two in some areas). I Spit On Your Grave did the same thing- but underperformed at the box office. It’s not an easy battle fighting with the MPAA, but after seeing both of these movies- I just wish it had been something better, a movie that people would go and see time and time again. Classics, if you will. The key with unrated films is to make something people will go to- that’s when horror will change. Easier said than done, but a good thought for 2011 nonetheless.
“I understand some graphic novels DO NOT need to be made into movies.”
I’m not saying I don’t enjoy movies based on graphic novels- I’m saying I enjoy GOOD movies based on graphic novels. I liked 300. Sin City was pretty awesome. But Jonah Hex gave me reason to believe that Brian Austin Green married Megan Fox for her pretty face, not her acting abilities. Then again, Jennifer’s Body reminded me of that too. Here’s the thing- if you’re going to make a film based on a graphic novel, do it right. And don’t make a western.
There you have it- the question is, will anyone listen? Happy New Year guys!
Don’t forget to show your love for Andrea by visiting her blog: The Albin Way
Editorials
6 Dark Fantasy Films That Every Genre Fan Should Watch
From child-eating witches to village-burning dragons, fairy tales have always had a foot in the horror genre. That’s why it makes sense that, for every The Hobbit and The Chronicles of Narnia, there are also darker and more adult-oriented stories about magical worlds inhabited by ravenous monsters and cruel villains.
Funnily enough, these sinister tales were precisely the ones that I gravitated towards back when I was a kid, and I was reminded of this while watching Netflix’s recently released I Am Frankelda, Mexico’s first ever feature-length stop-motion animation and one hell of an entertaining parable about the intersection between fiction and reality.
In honor of this special kind of horror-adjacent fairy tale, today I’d like to share this list recommending six Dark Fantasy films that horror fans might enjoy.
For the purposes of this list, we’ll be defining Dark Fantasy as fantastical stories that don’t shy away from the more macabre elements that fuel classic fairy tales. That being said, don’t forget to comment below with your own grim favorites if you think we missed a particularly thrilling one.
With that out of the way, onto the list!
6. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

I’m fascinated by bizarre attempts at blockbuster filmmaking – especially when the resulting movies are somehow still fun despite their corporate-mandated origins. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is precisely one of these strangely compelling studio projects, as this surprisingly successful action-thriller boasts a lot of heart (and tongue-in-cheek humor) for a CGI-heavy creature feature.
Directed by Dead Snow’s Tommy Wirkola, Witch Hunters re-frames the classic fairy tale as an origin story for a duo of badass monster-slayers. Of course, it’s the flick’s anachronistic aesthetic and overall visual flair that make it stand out from other action-horror endeavors from around the same time.
5. The Wolf House (2018)

Made in the tradition of faux cursed films in the same vein as Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made, the eerie backstory to 2018’s Chilean animated flick The Wolf House (La Casa Lobo in the original Spanish) already makes it a nightmarish experience before the flick even really begins.
After all, the movie is presented to us as a faux propaganda film produced by the leader of a death cult (heavily inspired by the real life Colonia Dignidad), with this hybrid animated feature using complex movie magic to simulate a single uninterrupted shot as it tells the story of a lazy young girl who runs away from an isolated colony and encounters a creepy old house in the woods.
4. The Brothers Grimm (2005)

Out of all the Monty Python alumni, Terry Gilliam has had the most interesting career outside of the original comedy group. From fascinating canceled projects (such as his scrapped adaptation of Watchmen) to dystopian parodies that feel more relevant by the minute (1985’s Brazil), even his “lesser” films are still intriguing in their own way.
2005’s The Brothers Grimm is one such project, with this peculiar movie attempting to combine the comedian-turned-filmmaker’s unique visual style with a more blockbuster-oriented plot reimagining the titular brothers as con-artists rather than mere writers. The end result isn’t exactly a masterpiece, but it’s still a legitimately fun ride with plenty of memorable monsters and wonderful performances by both the late, great Heath Ledger and Matt Damon.
3. Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic (2010)

2010’s Dante’s Inferno game may have a reputation as something of an unapologetic God of War clone, but I’d argue that the now-obscure game was aesthetically unique enough to deserve a bigger fanbase. However, while the title remains trapped on the seventh console generation, its highly underrated anime adaptation is a lot easier to get a hold of!
Animated by 6 different studios in order to make the 9 circles of hell feel unique from each other, this may not be a completely faithful adaptation of Dante Alighieri’s poem, but it’s still one heck of a great (not to mention gory) time that I’d highly recommend to fans of Netflix’s take on Castlevania.
2. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)

My personal favorite entry in the Underworld franchise, Rise of the Lycans, is a highly ambitious prequel that actually works better if you haven’t had the story spoiled to you by the previous Underworld films.
While the rest of the series features plenty of urban fantasy elements as the movies combine machine guns and modern environments with gothic storytelling, Patrick Tatopoulos’ prequel fully embraces its fantastical origins and tells a classic tale about a doomed romance between a werewolf and a vampire amid a medieval uprising.
And the best part is that we get a lot more Michael Sheen as the fan-favorite Lucian.
1. Solomon Kane (2011)

One of my personal favorite movies on this list, MJ Basset’s criminally underseen adaptation of Robert E. Howard’s other iconic warrior is thoroughly steeped in horror ambience and features plenty of memorable monsters. However, it’s also a classic origin story for a swashbuckling hero that wouldn’t feel out of place in a tabletop RPG.
While I’ve already written about how the film deftly combines both horror and fantasy elements without breaking the bank, I’ll never pass up an opportunity to recommend the bizarre movie where James Purefoy expertly plays a puritan John Wick.
It’s just too bad that we never got the other films in this intended trilogy.

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