Movies
Life Blood (Pearblossom) (V)
“The problem is that apparently Ron Carlson only had about 15-minutes of stuff to say. The tragedy is that we had to go along for the ride to find that out.”
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. A pair of beautiful lesbians (Sophie Monk & Anya Lahiri) go to a New Year’s Eve party in 1968. One of them kills an up-and-coming actor before he has a chance to rape another girl. They head off into the desert night where they encounter God in the form of a woman who promises them eternal life if they are allowed to be reborn as angels with the promise to fight evil on earth. Then God tells Lahiri to suck her blood and 40-years later the beautiful women wake from their cocoons on the side of that dusty highway as Vampires.
What’s that? You’ve never heard that one before. Do you know why you’ve never heard that before? Because, that’s gotta be one of the most whacked-out and sickly interesting premises I’ve heard of for a vampire movie in ages. Lesbian Vampires fighting evil in God’s name! Sign me up for that.
Of course, in the movie there’s a big catch. And, just like that, the actual flick has a big catch too. The big catch is….It’s really lame.
What makes matters worse is that Writer/Director Ron Carlson not only blows a great concept, he blows what has to be the weirdest and wildest cast I’ve seen assembled in forever for a film that has absolutely zero buzz about it. First off we get the insanely gorgeous Sophie Monk as Brooke–a vamp even before she was sucking blood and crisping skin in the sunlight. Add to that a bizarre collection of cameos from Halloween’s Scout Taylor-Compton, Grindhouse’s Electra Avellan (who combined have about 8 lines of dialogue between them) along with a scenery-chewing turn from cult film star Charles Napier as the sheriff investigating the dead bodies that keep piling up. And finally, The Sandlot’s Patrick Renna as the register-jockey working behind the counter at a gas station named “Murder World” who gets caught up in Monk and Lahiri’s mess. Oh…how could I forget… How I Met Your Mother fans will perk up with joy at the sight of everyone’s favorite cab driver Ranjit (Marshall Manesh) as the father of Avellan–another unfortunate patron of the Murder World gas station.
The crux of the film lies in the fact that Monk is clearly the bad girl and Lahiri is the good girl. God never makes much sense about why Monk is allowed to be turned into a vampire–but there is a ton of foreshadowing about what (seems obvious to everyone) Lahiri is gonna have to end up doing about it. The rest of the film is just biding time to get to the foregone conclusion. For a film that promises lesbians and vampires we only get just about enough of either one to justify their inclusion. And in the bloodshed department, the film defers to a lot of necking but not much else. Of course none of that would matter one single bit if the film delivered on the promise of an interesting plot. Instead what we get is a filmmaker whose idea of a character arc is a straight line from point A to point B. So, all that leaves us with is a pair of underdeveloped, over-angsty pretty girls trapped in a gas station. And trapped in a gas station is also where we wind up, as after the first 15 minutes or so, the film sets up shop in one location and more or less spends the rest if its time stuck between the aisles. For a flick with so little plot development to begin with, locking the cast up Reservoir Dogs-style is tantamount to cinematic suicide. These characters don’t have the charisma to carry a talkathon–a point that is made painfully clear as the dialogue eventually devolves into little more than bitching and moaning about being stuck inside said gas station and Monk’s eventual stalkeriffic banter (Things like….”you’ve got nowhere to hide”. Well, no shit sweetie, the whole store is only about 800 square feet!!!).
I think I’m so disappointed by Life Blood because in the beginning – right after God comes down from the sky and starts promising eternal life to Lahiri, then making out with her, then turning her into a bloodsucking angel of death – I thought “Wow, here is a filmmaker that has something interesting and new to say about the Vampire sub-genre.” The problem is that apparently Ron Carlson only had about 15-minutes of stuff to say. The tragedy is that we had to go along for the ride to find that out.
The holiday weekend means a light week for new horror releases, but it does bring the return of Dark Castle Entertainment to select theaters. It’s being joined by 6 new horror movies.
Here’s all the new horror releasing June 29, 2026 – July 3, 2026!
For daily reminders about new horror releases, be sure to follow @HorrorCalendar.
You wished for it. The highest-grossing horror movie of the year (so far), Curry Barker’s Obsession, arrived on Digital on June 30.
In Curry Barker’s theatrical debut Obsession, after breaking the mysterious One Wish Willow to win his crush’s heart, a hopeless romantic finds himself getting exactly what he asked for but soon discovers that some desires come at a dark, sinister price.
Michael Johnston (“Teen Wolf”), Inde Navarette (“Superman & Lois”), Cooper Tomlinson (“That’s a Bad Idea,” Milk & Serial), Megan Lawless (The Death That Awaits), and Emmy Award-nominee Andy Richter (“Conan,” Elf) star.
Based on a story by director James Kondelik (Behind The Walls) and a screenplay by Canadian writer Victor Rose, survival thriller Pitfall headed home to Digital on June 30. Family is murder in this Cineverse release.
In Pitfall, a young man becomes separated from his friends in the woods and plunges into a ten-foot pit lined with spikes, impaling his leg and leaving him helpless. As reality sinks in and his situation grows dire, he realizes the fall wasn’t an accident.
The film stars Richard Harmon (Final Destination: Bloodlines), Alexandra Essoe (The Pope’s Exorcist), and UFC champion Randy Couture (The Expendables) as the ruthless killer who stalks his prey in the woods. Marshall Williams (The Ice Road), Jordan Claire Robbins (The Umbrella Academy), and Matt Hamilton (Murder for Sale) also star.
The Amityville IP leans into Jaws with Amityville Shark House, just in time for the Fourth of July holiday too, as it released on Digital June 30.
Will Collazo Jr. (Amityville Thanksgiving) and Shawn C. Phillips (Amityville Karen) co-direct from a script they wrote with Julie Anne Prescott.
In the movie, after discovering an ominous shark idol hidden beneath the decaying floorboards, Richard unknowingly awakens an ancient and savage force. As the entity begins to merge with him, a quiet coastal town descends into blood-soaked chaos.
With each victim claimed, the monstrous predator grows stronger, fueling a cult’s belief that their dark god has been reborn. Now, the race is on to stop the carnage before evil consumes everything in its path.
Phillips and Prescott also star alongside Tasha Tacosa, Maritza Brikisak, Gigi Gustin (The Retaliators), Adam Marino, and Carl Solomon.
Available on Digital, Blu-ray, and DVD as of June 30 is Jacked, directed by John Fucile from a script he co-wrote with Simon Fraser.
The synopsis: “Set in the summer of 1987, JACKED follows two small-town teenagers whose day at the lake turns into a fight for survival after their car breaks down and they encounter a violent stalker.”
Marla Jean Robison, Tom Koch, Anthony Cipriani, Wynn Reichert, Kam Perez and Bella Marie star.
Get ready to work up a killer sweat and maybe spill some blood with Slashercise, a workout meets slasher hybrid that arrived exclusively on Bloodstream on July 1.
Written and directed by Ama Lea (Deathcember), the retro-styled feature follows “a masked killer known only as Meathead as he stalks the fitness clubs of Los Angeles, turning workout sessions into blood-soaked nightmares. As the city’s top trainers are picked off one by one, a group of determined fitness fanatics must fight back before they become the next bodies on the mat.”
Vanessa Decker (Stiletto), John Bloom (The Last Drive-In With Joe Bob Briggs), Spencer Charnas (Ice Nine Kills), Sarah French (Blind), Kelli Maroney (Night of the Comet), Sarah Nicklin (V/H/S/Halloween), Diana Prince (The Last Drive-In With Joe Bob Briggs), Jared Rivet (The Once and Future Smash), Felissa Rose (Sleepaway Camp), Tiffany Shepis (Victor Crowley), and Lisa Wilcox (A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master) star.
After a record-breaking box office run, A24 and director Kane Parsons’ feature debut is heading back to theaters with bonus footage. AMC Theatres is unleashing Backrooms: Everything Must Go Editiontoday, July 3.
In the film written by Will Soodik, the owner of Cap’n Clark’s Ottoman Empire discovers a strange doorway in the basement of the furniture showroom. He sets out to explore the mysterious, liminal space, walking headfirst into a creepypasta nightmare.
Chiwetel Ejiofor and Renate Reinsvestar.
AMC describes this release as a “theatrically exclusive post-credit” with additional footage from Kane Parsons. Expect 16 minutes of bonus footage, with the new version clocking in at 2 hours and 6 minutes.
The Last Exorcism director Daniel Stamm and Dark Castle Entertainment are back with Lockbox, in select theaters July 3. It adapts Soren Narnia‘s Knifepoint Horror Podcast story “Winthrop” by Emmy-winning playwright Justin Yoffe.
In Lockbox, “Seeking peace after her mother’s death, Ellen retreats to a rural town and takes in her severely traumatized cousin Winthrop. Their fragile domestic balance shatters when an erratic neighbor warns that Winthrop is dangerous. As strange phenomena escalate, Ellen must put everything on the line to defend Winthrop from a dangerous otherworldly entity determined to track him down.”
Lou Taylor Pucci (Touch Me, Evil Dead), Carla Gugino (The Haunting of Hill House, Gerald’s Game, The Fall of the House of Usher) and Katharine Isabelle (Ginger Snaps, Backrooms) star.
This week’s new release roundups are presented by Lockbox.
Be careful who you let in. Carla Gugino and Lou Taylor Pucci star in Lockbox, only in select theaters this Friday. Get tickets.
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