Movies
Vampire Killers (Lesbian Vampire Killers) (UK) (V)
“But is it funny? Sadly the answer is, not so much. Conceptually brilliant, it would absolutely work much better as a sketch. Still, I can promise that with the right frame of mind and several pints of Newcastle tucked away in your gullet, Lesbian Vampire Killers will probably satisfy the randy 13-year old boy trapped inside us all.”
With a name like Lesbian Vampire Killers the smart lot of you probably think you have this whole film figured out right off the bat. But, an astute friend of mine pointed out the fact that if you knew nothing else but the title of this production, you’d be unsure if the vampire killers or the vampires themselves were the lesbians in question. To that end, I say rather crassly…who cares so long as there are lesbians!
With such a minor caveat needed for the film to be a success it’s such a shame that this horror/comedy hybrid from the men behind the BBC hit show Gavin & Stacey is such a bust.
Trying to out “Shaun of the Dead” Shaun of the Dead, British comics Mat Horn and James Corden portray a pair of clueless best friends—Jimmy and Fletch, who set out for a weekend getaway in the Welsh countryside only to discover the town they’ve happened upon harbors an ancient lesbian vampire clan. But hey, no need to worry, because Jimmy might just be the last descendent of a medieval knight who vowed to vanquish the undead temptress once and for all….or something like that.
Directed by Phil Claydon—who helmed the 2002 UK thriller Alone—LVK looks like a million bucks (or is that pounds). It’s slick and glossy and over the top in terms of story and special effects. The broad sexual connotations that permeate nearly every frame of the film—even extending to the death fluids that emit from the slain vampires—are utterly ridiculous. In fact, the whole production is so unhinged that it makes it hard to argue for its lack of success. Indeed, if ever a film had midnight movie stamped so blatantly across its exposed bosoms, this is that film.
Make no mistake, I’m here to tell you that LBV is a bad film, but in the eye of a beholder blinded by a love for humor that would make Benny Hill blush, this film is a goldmine of bare-breasted beauties, slo-mo kissing scenes (with tongue) and a barrage of intermittently amusing jokes. LBV is like the bastard child of American Werewolf in London and any soft-core Skin-a-max trash fest. It’s what a Mike Raso production would look like if it had a seven-figure budget to go along with the Frederick’s of Hollywood set design.
But is it funny? Sadly the answer is, not so much. Conceptually brilliant, it would absolutely work much better as a sketch. Still, I can promise that with the right frame of mind and several pints of Newcastle tucked away in your gullet, Lesbian Vampire Killers will probably satisfy the randy 13-year old boy trapped inside us all.
Pulitzer Prize-winning author Daniel Kraus took the literary world by storm back in 2023 with the release of his hit novel Whalefall. A terrifying yet intimate survival thriller with mythological undertones, the book was almost immediately bombarded with offers from movie studios wanting to adapt its claustrophobic imagery to the big screen.
Fast forward to June of 2026, and we finally got our first glimpse at Brian Duffield’s long-awaited adaptation of Whalefall, starring Austin Abrams as our unfortunate lead who gets swallowed alive by a sperm whale. While this two-and-a-half-minute teaser only covers the beginning of the story, it’s already been making waves online (and in-person at select 4DX promotional screenings) as one of the most stressful cinematic experiences of the year.
In fact, my own wife had to cover her eyes and exclaim, “You’re definitely not dragging me to watch this one” when we saw the whale’s jaws begin to close in on Abrams, with this incident alone already leaving me convinced that this will likely be one of the biggest genre hits of the year. With that in mind, I’d like to invite you to take a closer look at the teaser in order to break down interesting details and get a better idea of what’s in store for genre fans when the movie finally comes out this October.
Of course, as usual, don’t forget to comment below if you noticed something we didn’t!
Now, without further ado, here are five things we learned from the Whalefall trailer!
5. Austin Abrams Performed Many of His Own Stunts
Much like in his previous film, No One Will Save You, Duffield insisted that this visceral experience should be grounded by our main character’s believable reactions, regardless of the plot’s effects-heavy setup. That’s why the camera always makes sure to linger on Abrams through his diving mask, so we know that it’s really him going through this ordeal alongside the audience.
While plenty of CGI was used in order to bring this larger-than-life story to the big screen without killing our leading man, Abrams apparently insisted on performing many of his underwater stunts himself (several of which are visible in the trailer) – much to the chagrin of a worried Duffield and the flick’s stunt coordinator, Shauna Duggins.
4. The Film Seamlessly Transitions Between the California Coast and Underwater Sets
Duffield obviously wasn’t about to drag his crew out to the middle of the ocean and shoot inside a real sperm whale, but it’s reassuring to see the filmmaker blend on-location footage with the underwater tank segments and the literal belly of the whale set.
There may be plenty of CGI stitching these elements together, but the trailer shows us that only the truly impossible shots are completely digital, meaning that the filmmakers didn’t take the easy way out when it came to adapting this unique story.
3. The Whale is Only Part of the Story
Book adaptations tend to leave out inner monologues and the occasional flashback in order to streamline the narrative (which is one reason why it’s so difficult to translate Stephen King novels to the big screen), but a claustrophobic parable like Kraus’ Whalefall would get a bit dull after a while if the whole thing was entirely set within the creature’s stomach.
That’s why it’s such a relief that the trailer hints at how Duffield will also be adapting many of the book’s introspective moments chronicling our protagonist’s harsh upbringing under his troubled father. Not only do these inclusions give the audience some much-appreciated breathing room, but they also give Josh Brolin a chance to shine as a truly complicated character.
2. The Movie is Keeping the Book’s Scientific Accuracy…
While Kraus’ novel was inspired by a viral video of kayakers nearly being swallowed by a humpback whale, the writer ended up consulting with marine biologists about exactly what kind of situation might lead to a whale actually eating a human being alive.
The answer was surprisingly specific, as cetaceans are almost universally known to be friendly towards humans. However, even a gentle giant can make mistakes, and as we see in the trailer, Abrams’ unpleasant fate is more of an accident than anything else – with the massive sperm whale only trapping the poor diver in the first (and thankfully acid-free) chamber of its stomach due to a mix-up involving a giant squid.
Fortunately for the film’s special effects artists, they can now reference the first-ever footage of a real-life sperm whale chowing down on one such squid, as this freaky recording was released late last year.
1. …With a Catch!
Duffield may be doing his best to recreate the grounded (or is it submerged?) thrills of Kraus’ novel, but there are limits to what can be depicted onscreen while still guaranteeing an entertaining movie. That’s why it’s no surprise that Whalefall will take advantage of certain cinematic parlor tricks as the director tests the limits of both physics and biology so we can actually watch his movie.
For starters, the innards of the whale itself have been greatly exaggerated so there’s enough space to make out the action, and in the spirit of movies like Neil Marshall’s The Descent, there also seems to be plenty of non-diegetic lighting meant to show us what’s going on even if Abram’s character wouldn’t necessarily be able to see anything.
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