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The Perfect Shirt for the ‘Proud Straight Male Gamer’
Do you consider yourself to be a proud, straight male gamer? Does your excess of gruffy manliness overshadow the likes of Marcus Fenix and Duke Nukem? Do you feel the overwhelming desire to show your manliness to the WORLD? If you answered any of these questions with a resounding yes, probably in the same bearish voice you use when saving the innocent in alleyways in the dead of night, then this shirt has been designed with you in mind. For the people reading this with a confused expression on their face, Dragon Age II came out earlier this month and since then it’s been trying to force its steamy gay action in the face of all the straight male gamers. For some, this is a problem.
It’s obvious that no less than 99% of the gaming audience consists of straight males who only want to see explosions, big guns, tits and gore. So why should a company cater to the minority of players that enjoy their games? If you hate it when your companions hit on your blatantly straight male character in Dragon Age 2 then this is the best way to show the world you’re against that sort of thing. When you pass people on the street while wearing this fabulous specimen of gamer apparel, you’ll know exactly what you are. You’re a proud, straight male gamer with a kickass t-shirt. Head past the break to see the rest of the shirt, which I might say is no less incredible.
Oh, and since a startling number of people have the remarkable ability to misinterpret this; YES, this is a joke. It’s a little twisted and admittedly a little tasteless, but a joke nonetheless. And guess what? This joke now comes in PINK! BOO YAH!
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‘Hellraiser: Resurrections’ – BOOM! Studios Event Unleashes Five Brand New One-Shot Comics [Exclusive]
BOOM! Studios recently announced that three classic Clive Barker Hellraiser comic books are coming back to shelves, and we’ve got another exciting exclusive for you today.
Bloody Disgusting can exclusively report that BOOM! Studios will return to the labyrinthine horrors of Clive Barker’s legendary Hellraiser universe with five all-new one-shots this Fall!
A brand new generation of creators will explore the untold corners of Clive Barker’s infernal mythology, revisiting iconic Cenobites while introducing terrifying new stories that expand the boundaries of the Hellscape itself with Hellraiser: Resurrections.
Each week through the month of September, a new chapter of damnation arrives, revealing the forces gathering in the shadows. The descent begins with HELLRAISER: RESURRECTIONS – NEW WOUNDS #1 from writer Mike Costa and artist Paco Camallonga as they draw readers into the hedonistic world of Hellraiser.
When an investigation into the mysterious Puzzle Box goes sideways, the gateways to Hell open anew.
Then, hear the unmistakable chattering of death itself in HELLRAISER: RESURRECTIONS – THE ONANISTIC RITUAL #1 from writer Zac Thompson and artist Gavin Mitchell.
The Chatterer bares his teeth for a brand-new mission. His goal? To reclaim his rightful place as the right hand of the Hell Priest himself!
Next, venture deeper into the hierarchy of Hell with HELLRAISER: RESURRECTIONS – THE DEEP GOSPEL #1 from writer Tini Howard and artist Jenna Cha.
The Female Cenobite was dead. Or close to it…until the Engineer found her. But when she rejects the Engineer’s plans for her remaking, she’s cast down into the harrowing Nidus: the place where the larval stage of Cenobites fight to survive. She’s been here before and made it out alive—and she’ll do it again.
The horrors continue in HELLRAISER: RESURRECTIONS – HELL’S COUNCIL #1 from writer Nero Villagallos O’Reilly and artist Francesca Ciregia.
We saw the fall of Butterball at the end of Hellbound: Hellraiser II. Now we’ll witness his rise as the wounded Cenobite is taken in by a mysterious do-gooder who slowly nurses him back to health, all while worming her way into his brain…and maybe even his heart?
Finally, the event culminates with HELLRAISER: RESURRECTIONS – THE RETURN OF THE PRIEST #1 from writer Sarah Gailey and artist Alessio Avallone.
Caught in the sensory deprivation of Middle Hell, Elliot Spencer suffers the worst fate: no feeling at all. When the glory of Leviathan’s light finally sears through him, granting him the gift of pain—it’s revelatory. The Hell Priest must journey to remake himself and gather his Gash once more to bring the cherished blessing of pain to all that deserve it.
From fresh visions of beloved Cenobites to horrifying new revelations hidden within the depths of Hell, Hellraiser: Resurrections serves as both a celebration of Clive Barker’s enduring mythology and the first chapter of an exciting new era for the franchise. The series kicks off a new publishing initiative that will bring a new Hellraiser ongoing series and miniseries to life through 2027.
Hellraiser: Resurrections begins this September with five weekly one-shots from BOOM! and distributed by Penguin Random House. You can preorder the series at your local comic shops and digitally through major content providers, including Kindle, iBooks, and Google Play.
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