Best & Worst of 2010: The Year’s Worst One Sheets

The task of selling a film is probably much, much harder than any of us realize, which is why posters meant to stir up excitement for upcoming releases are often so badly calculated. 2010 has been no exception, with a large number of god-awful (or just plain boring) one-sheets cluttering up the lobbies of multiplexes all across the country. Here’s B-D’s list of the worst offenders from the past year.

BEST ONE SHEETS | WORST ONE SHEETS

WORST ONE SHEETS OF 2010

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Posters listed in no particular order

A Nightmare on Elm Street (New Line Cinema)


Remember the posters from the first few movies? They were hand-drawn, imaginative, museum-quality works of art. As for the remake, I guess this generic one-sheet is the best they could come up with – a sentiment you could also apply to the movie itself. When it comes right down to it, simply throwing up an image of the “new Freddy” and calling it a day is just lazy marketing.

Splice (Warner Bros. Pictures)


The problem with this poster is pretty simple – we have no idea what kind of movie they’re advertising. Judging by the soft blue light shining from above, this could very well be a tear-jerking drama about a…fucked-up mutant woman with a tail. The film itself was a boundary-pushing horror/sci-fi (albeit an uneven one), and this one-sheet should’ve done a better job at communicating that.

Predators (Twentieth Century Fox)


The issue here is the same as with the Nightmare on Elm Street poster – simply showing us an image of the villain is a really weak, uninspired way to sell a movie. Also, the movie is called Predators, plural, right? So where are the rest of them?

Jonah Hex (Warner Bros. Pictures)


What is he firing that gatling-gun at, the ground? And why are they hiding the scarred half of Jonah Hex’s face? This poster is far too generic for the adaptation of a comic-book series known for its imaginative genre-mixing.

Vampires Suck (Twentieth Century Fox)


From quite possibly the two laziest filmmakers on the planet comes one of the most godawful one-sheets in the history of film advertising. From the looks of it, Fox just farmed this puppy out to a bunch of high school freshmen taking a “Beginning Photoshop” class. Hey, is that someone dressed up as Lady Gaga in the background? A-hardy-har-har!

Piranha 3D (Dimension Films)


While the other Piranha one-sheet made our “best-of” list, this one qualifies as one of the year’s worst. Talk about generic – this could’ve been the poster for any number of “killer underwater creature” movies from the last twenty years. Also, the tagline should’ve read “This Summer Fake 3D Shows Its Teeth”, don’t you think?

Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D (Sony Scren Gems)


When you have a winning formula, I guess there’s no reason to mix it up. Still, seeing the same basic image on every single Resident Evil one sheet is getting a little tiresome. Also, I’d like to call for a moratorium on jagged shards of glass representing the 3-D experience on movie posters.

And Soon the Darkness (Anchor Bay)


It’s soft-core porn meets Captivity in this awful, lowest-common-denominator one-sheet advertising the upcoming remake of the cult classic 1970 thriller. Pass the cheese.

Case 39 (Paramount Pictures)


It’s no wonder Case 39 failed at the box-office. After years of delays and overwhelmingly negative buzz, Paramount couldn’t even be bothered to come up with a decent poster. So what’s it about, exactly? A haunted house? An evil child? Killer luggage? Kinda hard to tell from the pedestrian imagery featured here.

Paranormal Activity 2 (Paramount Pictures)


Look, we made $100 million with the first one – do people really give a shit about the poster? Just slap a still from the movie on there like we did with the original! Gosh, this money smells good.

Hatchet II (Dark Sky Films)


For a cult phenomenon like Hatchet, you’ve gotta give the uninitiated (and those who were only lukewarm on the first movie) a reason to see it. How is it different, etc.? This generic poster is a snooze that could’ve been used to advertise almost any other slasher flick released in the last 30 years.

Red Riding Hood (Warner Bros. Pictures)


The sight of Amanda Seyfried walking through a forest just screams “excitement!”, doesn’t it?

Chain Letter (New Films)


Cursed with a premise that’s about ten years too late, this movie follows a group of teens who are forwarded a chain letter (over that new-fangled email) and murdered one by one when they fail to send it along. So I’m just gonna take a guess that in crafting this head-scratching poster, the marketing team at the studio was attempting to hide the fact that the concept of their movie reached “horribly dated” status right around 2005. What other explanation could there be? So there’s a dude wearing pajamas…in chains…lying on top of a barcode…and the tagline is “The Art of Killing”. Ok, I give up.

My Soul to Take (Rogue Pictures)


As if the negative buzz surrounding My Soul to Take wasn’t already bad enough, Rogue had to go and release this incredibly shitty one-sheet to advertise it. Not that I can necessarily blame them – the film’s needlessly complex premise is nearly impossible to sum up in a single image. This poster is the equivalent of the entire marketing team throwing up their hands in frustration.

I Spit on Your Grave (Anchor Bay)


Here’s an idea: just copy the exploitative poster art used to market the original movie, except render it in B&W so people think it’s more artistic. Then print it. Easy breezy!

The Rite (Warner Bros. Pictures)


Based on this poster, we know the following about The Rite: 1) Academy-Award winner Anthony Hopkins is in it, and his eyes are really blue; 2) the movie has something to do with religion (hence the cross!); and 3) You can only defeat it when you believe (like “evil”, maybe)? Gee, I haven’t been this excited about a slot-filling religious horror movie since Lost Souls dropped back in 2000.

The Resident (Image)


This is premiering on Lifetime, right?