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Best & Worst of ’10: RYAN DALEY’S TOP 10 OF 2010

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I relish my role as a DVD critic for B-D, especially as a guy who has grown estranged from the once-relished movie theater experience. I deeply respect Mr. D for braving a tweener-packed Twilight screening in order to secure an early review, but these days I’d rather review a movie from the sanctity of my own sofa in a completely empty house. It’s the only way to truly immerse myself in a film. And I know that I’m not alone. There are others out there, silent rebels that have angrily disavowed movie theaters and their obnoxious distractions. And this list of the best horror DVDs of 2010 is dedicated to you, my fellow theater-hating couch potatoes. (Once again, this is a list of DVDs, not theatrical releases. So please try to refrain from giving me shit in the comments for neglecting Let Me In, Buried, or other movies that won’t receive a DVD release until 2011.)

Mr. Disgusting (Best/Worst) | Ryan Daley (Best/Worst) | David Harley (Best/Worst)
BC (Best/Worst) | Micah (Best/Worst) | Keenan (Best/Worst) | Theo (Best/Worst)
Best One Sheets | Worst One Sheets
Most Memorable Moments | Top Trailers | Memorable Quotes

RYAN DALEY’S TOP 10 OF 2010

10. Predators (October 19; 20th Century Fox)


Although not a perfect film, Predators’ ìgame preserveî premise served as an excellent thematic reboot to the franchise. Sure, a puffy Larry Fishburne gets killed off way too early, but there are plenty of righteous fight scenes to go around, and Adrien Brody does his whole growly Bale/Batman thing for 107 minutes, which had to impress somebody, somewhere.

9. Dark Night of the Scarecrow (September 28; VCI Entertainment)


A TV-movie gem from 1981 finally gets the DVD release it deserves. After being executed for a crime he didn’t commit, a small town retard rises from the grave to seek revenge against the posse that killed him. It’s good, cheesy fun, a perfectly shot piece of low budget Americana that still manages to resonate 30 years later.

8. House of the Devil (February 2; Dark Sky Films)


It took two viewingsññmonths apartññbefore Ti West’s slow-burn style really started to grow on me. His homage to 80s horror is too well-crafted, moody, and memorable to dismiss as simply ìboringì. Once I realized that the shitty pacing was on purpose, the flick was finally able to work its old school magic.

7. Frozen (September 28; Anchor Bay Films)



I get a rager for single-setting horror flicks and Frozen takes a high-concept premise to an armrest-gripping extreme. Adam Green’s tale of three friends trapped on a ski lift made me both sweat and shiver in the theater. In a sense, it’s the ultimate survival film. In the process, Green managed to teach Hollywood a valuable lesson: When it comes to wolves, there is no substitute for the real thing.

6. The Killer Inside Me (September 28; MPI Home Video)


Despite its universally appealing white-bread cast (Casey Affleck, Jessica Alba, and Kate Hudson), The Killer Inside Me received a very limited release (17 theaters) and only managed to bank around $200,000 at the box office. You’d think the halcyon 1950s setting would appeal to mystery-loving baby boomers, but perhaps the gut-wrenching violence turned them away. Like Blue Velvet, it’s a disturbing exploration of the evil that lurks just beneath the tranquil surface of us all. A queasily unforgettable movie experience that’s not intended for everyone.

5. Centurion (November 2; Magnolia)


British director Neil Marshall follows up The Descent and Doomsday with this hyper-violent Romans vs. Barbarians spectacle. I’m hard pressed to name a contemporary director who makes movies that are as reliably entertaining as Marshall’s, and Centurion is no exception. Although it’s not technically a horror film, the high-energy battle scenes and gorgeous Scotland landscapes are straight-up eye candy, the blood flies fast and loose, and the bounteous carnage will please even the most unforgiving of horror fans.

4. Shutter Island (June 8; Paramount)


The complaints about the predictability of its twist ending are somewhat warranted, but Martin Scorsese’s madhouse lockdown is all about the journey, not the destination. Oozing the same suffocating dread that defined 1991’s Cape Fearññalong with some truly stunning cinematographyññShutter Island deserves far more respect than its post-Oscars release date would imply.

3. Moon (January 12; Sony Pictures)


Yeah, I know it seems like this one came out ages ago, but I was forced to exclude it from last year’s DVD list due to its January 2010 release date, and it definitely deserves some space here. Itës my favorite film of the 2009 Sundance Film Festival, a thought-provoking piece of science fiction about manës inherent loneliness in the universe, easily on par with superior genre fare like Solaris or Sunshine.

1. (tie) Best Worst Movie and Never Sleep Again (January 12; Sony Pictures)


Kneel and give praise to the Horror Gods, for 2010 was the year of the two best horror documentaries of all time! Never Sleep Again is a four hour love letter to the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, a doc that leaves no gravestone unturned, covering everything from the vast shittiness of the syndicated Freddy’s Nightmares to the latent homosexuality that seeped through Nightmare Part 2. Whether or not you’re an obsessed fan of the franchise, it’s a film that is impossible to stop watching.

And at this point, I don’t know what more you need to hear about Best Worst Movie. It’s both hysterically funny and genuinely moving, a powerful dedication to bad cinema everywhere. If you still haven’t had your friends over for a Nilbog party, well, then you just ain’t livin’. Put it on your bucket list, stat.

Honorable Mentions

Red Riding, Cropsey, Zombieland, The Book of Eli, The Crazies

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Editorials

Not Another ‘Scary Movie’: Revisiting Forgotten Parody ‘Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th’

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Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th

After Scream (1996) made a killing at the box office, as well as won over critics and audiences, a lot of folks in the movie biz thought they could do the same thing (and yield similar results). That thing, of course, being a slasher. Most of these opportunists wound up being pretty straightforward; they were low on humor or commentary. Yet others, like Scary Movie (2000), saw the potential for spoofing Scream, and acted on that impulse with both haste and excitement.

A few months after the Wayans’ comedy first hit theaters, Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th landed on the USA Network, as part of the channel’s “Shriek Week” programming. That straight-to-cable (then home video) destination is possibly why many people still don’t know about this one. Or they simply chose to forget. Whatever the reason, only one of these two horror parodies came out on top—and it’s certainly not the movie where Coolio channeled Prince, and Tom Arnold saved the day.

Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th previously went by the name of I Know What You Screamed Last Semester. That Trimark acquisition then settled on a wordier title, just so it could avoid the litigious wrath of Miramax Films. Folks may or may not remember that Columbia Pictures was sued over the “implied connection” between I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) and Scream. So, yeah, there was no way that this competing Scream parody wasn’t going to be kept on a tight rein.

A Heavy Reliance on Late ’90s TV References

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Simon Rex, Julie Benz, Majandra Delfino, Harley Cross, Danny Strong, Tom Arnold and Tiffani-Amber Thiesen in Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th.

Naturally, there would be similarities between Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th and Scary Movie—their scripts are built on the backs of the same two movies. It goes without saying that the other big slasher of the 1990s, I Know What You Did Last Summer, was as much of a target as Scream. However,the film pads itself with more TV references than Scary Movie did.

Half the cast coming off of (and in some cases, returning to) a WB show could be a reason why. Dawson’s Creek is particularly zeroed in on, based on how there’s a central character namedDawson Deery, and how the teen drama’s teacher-student affair plotline is satirized to the nth degree. As if there weren’t enough nods to television, Baywatch, VH1’s Pop Up Video, and even those cheesy Mentos commercials all serve as joke prompts.

Shriek director John Blanchard and writers Sue Bailey and Joe Nelms all hailed from television, so it’s understandable that they would stick close to home. The movie’s humor in general makes more sense, in light of learning that Blanchard worked on SCTV, Kids in the Hall, and MADtv. The writers, on the other hand, were each fairly green, with Bailey being the most experienced of the two; she wrote and produced the game show BattleBots. Nevertheless, they, plus Blanchard, churned out a passable, joke-a-minute movie. The whole thing is staggeringly of its time, but no one here was aiming for longevity.

Having seen enough of these kinds of movies, we know to expect jokes of the low-hanging fruit variety. That’s the parody’s whole prime directive. From the characters having names likeScrew FrombehindandDoughy Primesuspect, to stereotyping that feels taboo nowadays, this is a movie from a different era of comedy. Its coarse, corny, and unapologetic sense of humor won’t sit well with everyone in these more enlightened times. In which case, Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th can be treated as a time capsule.

Does Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th Humor Still Hold Up Today?

scary movie

“You may already be a victim”—Someone receives a most peculiar threatening piece of mail in Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th.

Although Shriek doesn’t live up to its own claims of being so funny that you’ll die of laughter, its bawdier parts could still lead to some nervous laughter. For instance, after this movie’s parallel to Drew Barrymore’s Scream character is done in—not by the killer but by a bug zapper—the movie throws a newspaper next to the victim’s fresh corpse. The headline?Popular slut killed! Football team mourns.

We then move on to the wacky and inappropriate goings-on at Bulimia Falls High School, home of the Hurlers. At this nexus of constant absurdity, indecency, and surrealism, students are seen fornicating on the lawn, cheerleading squad applicants are advised to be comfortable with partial nudity, and terrorists openly prepare for an anthrax attack. It can be a tad jarring to watch, especially if you didn’t grow up witnessing this style of comedy firsthand. Hell, even if you did, you may still have awhat the hell were they thinking?reaction.

It’s not just the aggressively edgy humor here that can make you chuckle—the slapstick, the sight gags, and the ribaldry all have a decent chance of landing. The movie’s own villain, whose hockey mask was instantly transformed into a crudely Ghostface-esque one after coming in contact with an open flame, commits more cheap laughs than kills. His and his victims’ chase sequences, most of which are cartoonish in nature, left this writer grinning. The Scooby-Doo fan in me also totally ate up that clever unmasking joke.

Final Thoughts on This Forgotten Horror Parody

Scary Movie

Shriek If You Know What Did Last Friday the 13th

Now, the jury is still out on whether these comedies are to blame for the death of the first slasher revival. There is more to consider than some parodies. At the very least, the likes of Scary Movie didn’t exactly encourage big studios to put their money on a trend that was being derided to death (and not as profitable as the spoofs). These sorts of movies also felt unnecessary at the time, given how their principal inspiration is already a deconstruction of the genre. But like anything else that quickly becomes popular, mockery is unavoidable.

Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th is indeed a movie nobody asked for, much less needed. As a sample of pre-millennium humor and cultural attitudes, it’s not always precise. But as I’ve laid out, your mileage may vary. Horror parodies typically don’t have the best track record, so managing one’s own expectations here is recommended.

Upon rewatching, I for one laughed a bit more than I did back then. Only this time, I responded to the jokes that my younger self didn’t notice or find all that amusing. So it just goes to show that the movies don’t change—we do.

scary movie

Harley Cross and Majandra Delfino must unmask the killer a number of times in Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th before learning their true identity.

 

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