Editorials
The 10 Worst Things That Could Happen to You in a Body Horror Film!
One of the most terrifying sub-genre of horror is the body horror film. I’m one of those people who freaks out if I notice anything off-kilter with my body, so the imagery in body horror films are particularly frightening to me. There are a plethora of things that could happen to you if you find yourself trapped in a body horror film, and the following 10 things are some of the worst!
Lose Your Fingernails (The Fly and Contracted)
Why is it always the fingernails? Does anyone immediately look away from the screen the second the fingernails start peeling off? The sound effects behind them are just gross!
Grow a Phallic Stinger (Rabid and Slither)
One of the more unrealistic symptoms on this list is growing a phallic stinger. Whether it be one from your armpit (David Cronenberg’s Rabid), or two from your stomach (James Gunn’s Slither), it can’t be a pretty feeling. That being said, it would be a pretty good defense mechanism.
Have Vines Crawl Around Inside You (The Ruins)
No. Just no. The mere thought of having a living organism crawl around under your skin is enough to….get under your skin (sorry). The Ruins is an extremely underrated film (it’s not perfect, but it is one of the best evil plant movies in existence and it’s based on a fantastic novel) that works as well as it does because of the paranoia it instills within the viewer. Have you ever known someone with lice? Or scabies? Or had a dog with fleas? You immediately start scratching thinking that the little bastards are all over you. That is the effect that The Ruins has on you.
Get Raped and Impregnated By the Devil (Rosemary’s Baby)
In what is arguably one of the most horrifying scenes ever put on film, young Rosemary Woodhouse (Mia Farrow) is raped by Satan himself. This one doesn’t really need any further explanation, but suffice it to say it’s absolutely despicable.
Be Reborn Out of Your Mother’s Vagina (Dead Alive)
Sure, Peter Jackson’s 1992 gorefest is plenty silly, but it’s still incredibly disgusting. I’ve gone into my issues with pus in the past, but Lionel’s (Timothy Balme’s) rebirth out of his mother’s enlarged vagina-stomach takes the cake in terms of grotesquerie. Blech.
Shave Your Skin Off (Cabin Fever)
Other than the leg-fingering scene, no moment is more cringe-worthy in Eli Roth’s Cabin Fever than the scene when Marcy (Cerina Vincent) runs her razor up her leg only to peel layers of skin off, revealing a bunch of open sores. No thank you!
Grow a VCR Vagina in Your Stomach (Videodrome)
One of the more bizarre entries on this list is courtesy (again) of David Cronenberg. Truth be told, I’m one of those people who just doesn’t “get” Videodrome, but that stomach VCR vagina still sent chills up my spine. Just imagine shoving a VHS into that orifice and wiggling in around in there.
Grow Teeth in Your Vagina (Teeth)
Full disclosure: I’m a man and thus do not have a vagina, so I can’t really imagine what this would feel like, but I can’t imagine it feels good. Granted, if you’ve seen the movie Teeth, you probably already know that Dawn (Jess Weixler) puts her “gift” to good use, but it could still be a fairly unreliable superpower. What if you were having angry sex? Accidents can happen!
Penis Turning Into a Giant Drill (Tetsuo: The Iron Man)
Now this is something that I can imagine. Maybe not the whole “slowly morph into a machine” part, but the sheer thought of my penis turning into a large drill is certainly horrifying. The sound effects and foley work of grinding metal are enough to make you cover your ears, but when the lead character rapes his girlfriend to death with his drill-penis, it almost becomes too much to handle.
Chest Morphs Into a Set of Jaws (The Thing)
I had to save the best for last, didn’t I? In what is arguably the greatest body horror film of all time, The Thing also features one of the most shocking set pieces when Norris (Charles Hallahan) appears to suffer a heart attack and Dr. Copper (Richard Dysart) attempts to revise him. Suddenly, Norris’ chest cavity opens up and becomes a giant mouth, chewing off Copper’s hands. On a list of things of awful things that can happen to your body in a body horror film, this one ranks pretty high!
What are some other gross-out moments from body horror films that have made you turn away from the screen? What is that one thing that you just wouldn’t be able to handle if it happened to you? Let us know in the comments below!
Editorials
‘Leprechaun Returns’ – The Charm of the Franchise’s Legacy Sequel
The erratic Leprechaun franchise is not known for sticking with a single concept for too long. The namesake (originally played by Warwick Davis) has gone to L.A., Las Vegas, space, and the ‘hood (not once but twice). And after an eleven-year holiday since the Davis era ended, the character received a drastic makeover in a now-unmentionable reboot. The critical failure of said film would have implied it was time to pack away the green top hat and shillelagh, and say goodbye to the nefarious imp. Instead, the Leprechaun series tried its luck again.
The general consensus for the Leprechaun films was never positive, and the darker yet blander Leprechaun: Origins certainly did not sway opinions. Just because the 2014 installment took itself seriously did not mean viewers would. After all, creator Mark Jones conceived a gruesome horror-comedy back in the early nineties, and that format is what was expected of any future ventures. So as horror legacy sequels (“legacyquels”) became more common in the 2010s, Leprechaun Returns followed suit while also going back to what made the ‘93 film work. This eighth entry echoed Halloween (2018) by ignoring all the previous sequels as well as being a direct continuation of the original. Even ardent fans can surely understand the decision to wipe the slate clean, so to speak.
Leprechaun Returns “continued the [franchise’s] trend of not being consistent by deciding to be consistent.” The retconning of Steven Kostanski and Suzanne Keilly’s film was met with little to no pushback from the fandom, who had already become accustomed to seeing something new and different with every chapter. Only now the “new and different” was familiar. With the severe route of Origins a mere speck in the rearview mirror, director Kotanski implemented a “back to basics” approach that garnered better reception than Zach Lipovsky’s own undertaking. The one-two punch of preposterous humor and grisly horror was in full force again.
With Warwick Davis sitting this film out — his own choice — there was the foremost challenge of finding his replacement. Returns found Davis’ successor in Linden Porco, who admirably filled those blood-stained, buckled shoes. And what would a legacy sequel be without a returning character? Jennifer Aniston obviously did not reprise her final girl role of Tory Redding. So, the film did the next best thing and fetched another of Lubdan’s past victims: Ozzie, the likable oaf played by Mark Holton. Returns also created an extension of Tory’s character by giving her a teenage daughter, Lila (Taylor Spreitler).
It has been twenty-five years since the events of the ‘93 film. The incident is unknown to all but its survivors. Interested in her late mother’s history there in Devil’s Lake, North Dakota, Lila transferred to the local university and pledged a sorority — really the only one on campus — whose few members now reside in Tory Redding’s old home. The farmhouse-turned-sorority-house is still a work in progress; Lila’s fellow Alpha Epsilon sisters were in the midst of renovating the place when a ghost of the past found its way into the present.
The Psycho Goreman and The Void director’s penchant for visceral special effects is noted early on as the Leprechaun tears not only into the modern age, but also through poor Ozzie’s abdomen. The portal from 1993 to 2018 is soaked with blood and guts as the Leprechaun forces his way into the story. Davis’ iconic depiction of the wee antagonist is missed, however, Linden Porco is not simply keeping the seat warm in case his predecessor ever resumes the part. His enthusiastic performance is accentuated by a rotten-looking mug that adds to his innate menace.
The obligatory fodder is mostly young this time around. Apart from one luckless postman and Ozzie — the premature passing of the latter character removed the chance of caring about anyone in the film — the Leprechaun’s potential prey are all college aged. Lila is this story’s token trauma kid with caregiver baggage; her mother thought “monsters were always trying to get her.” Lila’s habit of mentioning Tory’s mental health problem does not make a good first impression with the resident mean girl and apparent alcoholic of the sorority, Meredith (Emily Reid). Then there are the nicer but no less cursorily written of the Alpha Epsilon gals: eco-conscious and ex-obsessive Katie (Pepi Sonuga), and uptight overachiever Rose (Sai Bennett). Rounding out the main cast are a pair of destined-to-die bros (Oliver Llewellyn Jenkins, Ben McGregor). Lila and her peers range from disposable to plain irritating, so rooting for any one of them is next to impossible. Even so, their overstated personalities make their inevitable fates more satisfying.
Where Returns excels is its death sequences. Unlike Jones’ film, this one is not afraid of killing off members of the main cast. Lila, admittedly, wears too much plot armor, yet with her mother’s spirit looming over her and the whole story — comedian Heather McDonald put her bang-on Aniston impersonation to good use as well as provided a surprisingly emotional moment in the film — her immunity can be overlooked. Still, the other characters’ brutal demises make up for Lila’s imperviousness. The Leprechaun’s killer set-pieces also happen to demonstrate the time period, seeing as he uses solar panels and a drone in several supporting characters’ executions. A premortem selfie and the antagonist’s snarky mention of global warming additionally add to this film’s particular timestamp.
Critics were quick to say Leprechaun Returns did not break new ground. Sure, there is no one jetting off to space, or the wacky notion of Lubdan becoming a record producer. This reset, however, is still quite charming and entertaining despite its lack of risk-taking. And with yet another reboot in the works, who knows where the most wicked Leprechaun ever to exist will end up next.
Horror contemplates in great detail how young people handle inordinate situations and all of life’s unexpected challenges. While the genre forces characters of every age to face their fears, it is especially interested in how youths might fare in life-or-death scenarios.
The column Young Blood is dedicated to horror stories for and about teenagers, as well as other young folks on the brink of terror.
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