Alone in the Dark
| release date | January 28 2005 |
| studio | Lions Gate Films |
| director | Uwe Boll |
| writer | Elan Mastai, Michael Roesch |
| starring | Christian Slater, Stephen Dorff, Tara Reid |
| rating | R |
| site | aloneinthedarkthemovie.com |
| trailer 1 | Trailer #1 |
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A perfect camp film.
What a piece of SHIT
Arghhhh! I can’t believe I bought this DVD! It was awful! Anybody in the market for a very slightly used DVD (only played once)? On second thought, I think I’ll toss it in the garbage rather then inflict it on some poor, unsuspecting person.
the only movie I have ever asked for a refund for besides the time my girlfriend dragged me to go see “Epic Movie.”
Horrible film Horrible, Uwe Bowl is still a filmaker some how and this got released in theaters? the only good thing about this filim is the poster design.
what was this crap
Somebody, please punch Uwe Boll in the face. Repeatedly.
TOWATCH THIS LAME CRAP IT’S A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME, NOTHING TO DO WITH THE EXCELLENT GAME WHAT A SCAM!!!!
this is the stuff that cloggs your toliets.
Theres not musch to say about this movie. This movie could have been good, but uwe boll doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing! he destroyed this movie!
This movie is crap a total waste of time. If you watch this ur just wasting money at the store and think about it every minute of this movie you see is every penny u ever had spent on the time wasted on this movie and is that the way u want it to be. My cat could have upchucked scarier stuff than this movie.
holly shit was that dredfull,sinfull,unwatchable piece of dog dierea,monkey jerking,shit eating,biggest waste of time ever. It’s so bad it tramitised me so badly that my doctor says I won’t be able to speak ever again. Uwe Boll I hope you burn in hell.
Just a waste on filming equipment…rewind time and throw away this script.
Look at that – I gave it a full 3 just because of Nightwish playing in the end credits. Wish I Had An Angel is the shit. Unfortunately, everything before it was just plain shit.
Really I mean really. This had nothing to do with the games at all. Uwe Boll is the worst director of all time.
no wonder why people consider Uwe Boll to be the new Ed Wood. and i thought Plan 9 from Outer Space was bad!
it had nothing to do with the game, Tara Reid was an unconvincing actress, the lights flickering on and off weren’t scary. it would if someone on a microphone made ghost noises.
what’s worse is that monsters attacked a city and there was a 100% city evacuation, ALL IN ONE NIGHT!!! oh, and didn’t those monsters do a dandy cleanup job? there wasn’t a sign of debris anywhere!
It was O.K, never followed the game so wouldn’t know any story issues, some lame acting and CGI. Eh
I good concept ruined by a horrible director and writer.
Nothing to do with the game at all, horrible acting bad writing and shit actors.
Im glad I was really drunk when I saw this one…
If you have some time to kill this is not the film to do it with.
Great movie, it was really good, this movie has awesome action, I love how Uwe Boll does that slow motion action, this movie is really cool, and Uwe Boll makes great movies, I like his movies, they’re pretty good, and this movie turned out good too.
We all know that Uwe Boll is one of the worst directors who ever lived, all his adaptation are awful. In this case the classic video game Alone in the Dark is transformed into a terrible movie, totally forgettable.
BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD! Avoid like the plague.
Things that came to my mind while and after watching this disastrous videogame adaptation
from the notorious Uwe Boll:
~ If there was anything tense or thrilling or interesting or whatever, I musta missed it.
~ If there were any decent or amusing dialogue lines here, then I musta missed them.
~ If there was any plot in here, I musta missed it.
~ I hate video game adaptations.
~ Christian Slater’s acting was pretty lame.
~ Stephen Dorff’s acting was pretty lame.
~ Tara Reid’s acting was plain horrible.
~ Character development = non-existent.
~ The camera work was just annoying.
~ The soundtrack was as annoying as the camera work.
~ The scene where Slater’s fuckin’ Reid while Neneh Cherry & Youssou N’Dour’s “Seven Seconds” is playing, is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve seen in my entire life.
~ Uwe Boll is about as untalented as Ed Wood.
~ At least, the opening scene was quite ok and the creatures looked kinda neat.
I don’t want to mention how bad the acting, the camera work or the story is, everything I tell you is: This movie is boring as hell. So if you want to waste 90 minutes of your life, Alone in the Dark is an alternative.
Half a star out of ****.
Uwe Boll’s “Alone in the Dark” has nothing to do with the somewhat-forgotten and underrated 1982 slasher film of the same name. It is, instead, a big-screen adaptation of the popular video game franchise; which comes to no surprise, since Boll is infamous for merging video games with cinema and creating the most repulsively bad and intellectually assaultive pieces of shit ever. This is my first Uwe Boll film, and now I see why he has been greeted by such infamy; he deserves every last bit of criticism. Here, he’s taken a good premise and rendered it stupefying and nigh impossible to watch. If there’s one thing that makes it endurable, it’s the amount of time you’ll bust a gut laughing your ass off. Believe me folks; this one is a real stinker.
So the film opens with an overlong text that speaks of the back-story to the film, which is read aloud, to our dismay. The back-story involves an ancient tribe called the Abskani. Apparently, they worshipped otherworldly demons, who would take over the world upon being summoned. And now, they have finally been let loose onto the modern world, and we have to watch as Boll allows these badly animated CGI beasties to roam free and do little more than just kill people.
But of course, there must be characters; and oh man, are there ever. You’ve got a paranormal investigator (Christian Slater), his girlfriend (Tara Reid), and some guy in police clothing (Stephen Dorff) intent on being badass. He isn’t.
Is there even a need to name these individuals? Boll cares about them just about as much as I do. A few are given the kind of back-stories that should be considered necessary, even if they are lame all-the-same. Still, every single character feels out-of-place and born of a million clichÃ
I’ve never played the game before, so I don’t know if the film followed it well.
But as a movie on its own, it’s pretty bad, with wooden acting, holy screenwriting and over-used CGI effects.