Movies
Jonah Hex
“There’s just nothing there; JONAH HEX is soulless.”
Tell me if you’ve heard this one before: An uncatchable terrorist’s plot is uncovered forcing a dumb, useless government to hire a rebel to save day. That’s the entire plot of Warner Bros.’ live-action adaptation of DC Comics’ JONAH HEX, which puts Josh Brolin the title role of the disfigured “anti-hero”.
With a riddling 83-minute runtime, by the end credits it becomes pretty obvious that this summer movie was trimmed down to be a fast-paced, mind-numbing action flick.
The aforementioned edit is realized within the opening moments when the audience is rushed through Jonah Hex’s history with an obnoxious voiceover, and quick flashing comic book clips. I don’t know about you, but I love the first BATMAN and SPIDER-MAN movies because they’re rich in character development and share with us the origins of these beloved icons. JONAH HEX literally butchers the history of Hex by dumping the “reason for revenge” off like it’s completely inconsequential. Hex is tied up, Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich) is angry, grrrrr, and thus orders the death of Hex’s family – right in front of him. Then the voiceover tells us the big twist: Hex can talk to dead people! How did he gain this magical gift? Oh, he nearly died and came back with these powers. There you have it, Hex’s entire origin story dumped on your porch step and lit on fire. Stomp on it a bit and you’ll find a steaming turd inside.
The odd lack of character development wasn’t the only issue as problems ranged from poor set design to disastrous CGI. Roles appear and vanish (I’m pretty sure I only saw the incredible Michael Shannon for seconds; more proof of a botched edit). Even the score by heavy metal band Mastodon set me off as it just blared nonsensical sounds in my brain (just wait until the train nearly runs you over and blows out your eardrums).
There’s just nothing there; JONAH HEX is soulless. At best it’s like a fill-in mission on the video game “Red Dead Redemption.” In the end there are only two reasons to see HEX. The first is to beat the summer heat and kill an hour and half before your parents pick you up from the mall/theater. The other is to officially say goodbye to these puppies…
While you wait for Damien Leone’s Terrifier 3 later this year from Cineverse and Bloody Disgusting, the team’s next horror movie Stream is headed to theaters in August.
Deadline has announced this afternoon that Terrifier 2 theatrical distributor Iconic Events Releasing will bring Stream to theaters nationwide on August 21, 2024.
The film will be coming to theaters in the U.S., Canada and Mexico.
Director Michael Leavy‘s Stream comes from Fuzz on the Lens Productions with the film’s makeup FX being handled by Terrifier and Terrifier 2 director Damien Leone!
Leavy said in a statement today, “We are beyond thrilled to partner with Iconic Events Releasing again, but this time to bring an all new and modern horror film to the big screen! We built a very good relationship with Iconic through Terrifier 2 and now with the upcoming Terrifier 3, so we are honored to keep this train rolling and continue to deliver fun and exciting horror movies to our incredible fanbase and beyond.”
The cast is stacked with familiar faces, including Tony Todd (Candyman), Jeffrey Combs (Re-Animator / Would You Rather), Danielle Harris (Halloween 4, 5 / Hatchet 2), Tim Reid (Stephen King’s IT / WKRP Cincinnati), Dee Wallace (E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial / The Howling), Mark Holton (Leprechaun), Felissa Rose (Sleepaway Camp / A Nun’s Curse), Daniel Roebuck (The Fugitive / Final Destination), Dave Sheridan (Scary Movie / The Devil’s Rejects), Terry Alexander (Day of the Dead / Night of the Living Dead II), David Howard Thornton (Terrifier / Terrifier 2), Charles Edwin Powell (Exorcist III/Screamers), Bob Adrian (The Conjuring 2), Sydney Malakeh (Cheer Camp Killer), Wesley Holloway (Terrifier 2), Damian Maffei (The Strangers: Prey at Night), and Michael Leavy (Terrifier).
In the film, “As the Keenan’s try to bring their family closer together, they unwittingly enter themselves into a game of life or death. With four deranged killers patrolling the halls of their hotel and competing for the most creative kills, the odds are definitely stacked against them.”
Produced by Steven Della Salla (Terrifier 2, Abnormal Attraction), Jason Leavy (Terrifier 2, Abnormal Attraction), Michael Leavy (Terrifier 2, Abnormal Attraction, Pennywise The Story of IT), Marcus Slabine (Dark Offerings, Island of the Dead), Damien Leone (Terrifier, Terrifier 2), Phil Falcone (Terrifier, Terrifier 2, Joes War) and George Steuber (Terrifier, Terrifier 2).
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