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1. 

   Posted By Mayday on September 26, 2012 @ 5:51 pm

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   ☆☆☆☆☆

   Entrance – Are you fed up with action flicks? Superher movies? Horror films? Ribald comedies? Stirring dramas? Thought provoking documentaries? Films in which people do things and say things and occasionally something mildly interesting happens? Well my friends, then this is the movie for you!
   **Warning – spoilers to follow, if you can call warning you against watching a complete waster of time ‘spoiling’**

   For the first half of the film, you forget you’re watching a movie and instead think you’re trapped in an unmoving line at the DMV. There’s maybe 10 lines of dialogue and NOTHING beyond watching the completely ordinary, banal, snooze-inducing day-to-day activities of the main character happens. I mean NOTHING. If entertainment for you is watching your neighbor mow the lawn then fall asleep in a hammock, well, maybe you’ll disagree with me. But if you actually have a pulse, you’ll thank me for my frank review.

   At one point when the main char. and her friend fall asleep, you’re given the impression someone is in the room watching them. Except, not once, but twice the screen goes black for about 90 seconds. I seriously thought my PS3 was fucked when the screen went dark with no sound. Wow, what an inovative scare tactic! Make the viewer think he owes Netflix $20 for the shittest movie in the world becoming stuck in his DVD player! Then, it’s another 20 minutes of lethargy.

   Somewhere, either shortly before or after (who can fucking tell amidst all the tedium) her dog goes missing. Personally, I think it realized what a shitty movie it was in and made a break for the forest. Eventually, about an hour into the film, the main char. has a dinner party. Then some stalker guy shows up, ties and gags her, then leaves her in the basement to go kill everyone else. The remaining 20 minutes of the film have her stumbling and crying all muffled-like through the house, indeed discovering everyone is dead. Which made no sense, as the guy didn’t have a gun or chainsaw or proton torpedo so could have at least been met with some resistance…but then again, by that point I had FF’ed through a lot of the drudgery just to see if anything actually took place in the film, so who knows or fucking cares.

   This is easily the WORST excuse for a movie I may have ever had the displeasure of viewing. Those who defend it on IMDB as being brilliant despite the low-budget amateur-ness of it are FULL OF FUCKING SHIT. They’re obviously connected with the ‘film’. Entrance spits in the face of every indie, no-budget or even terrible movie ever made. It has NO redeeming value whatsoever.

   Save yourself 84 minutes of wanting to punch yourself in the face for ever popping this one into your dvd player and avoid it like the plague.

   I rate it a negative 126 out of 10.
   -126/10