The artistry behind the best erotic horror-thrillers is not to be devalued. While movies like The Boy Next Door or The Handmaiden strive to maintain a bygone brand of scintillating torture, there’s a stark difference between gonzo erotic thrillers of yesteryear and the shyer, safeword-using “skinema” of today. Look no further than Embrace of the Vampire and its remake for a side-by-side comparison. One exploits the smuttily poetic melodrama of fiery passions, and the other, its contemporary, is as seductive as a jar of mayonnaise stuck with googly eyes in a lacy nightgown.

Not to kink shame, or anything. If that’s your thing, [salutes].

Anne Goursaud‘s career as an editor is dazzling, including work on projects like Francis Ford Coppola’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula and The Outsiders. It’d only be a few years after Coppola’s fanged masterpiece was released, in 1995, that she’d make her feature directorial debut with Embrace of the Vampire. It’s a quintessential 90s piece of horror-erotica: lustful, over-the-top, insatiable horny, and packed with nudity.

It’s everything Carl Bessai‘s 2013 remake is not: a looser adaptation of Goursaud’s vampiric romance, opting for a less engaging, flaccidly generic take on taboo desires.

The Approach

Bessai sticks to his indie Canadian roots and goes for a low-budget, direct-to-video take on what’s, at best, a cult classic. It says plenty that Bessai’s Embrace of the Vampire boasts ten times as many Rotten Tomatoes reviews as Goursand’s, but hilariously, they both have the same number of fresh blurbs: one. Academic powerhouse Alexandra Heller-Nicholas praises the original as “good, trashy, ’90s fun,” which is the opposite of Bessai’s bad, just trash, 2010s home video fodder. It’s like Bessai strips any sense of attraction and intoxication, playing into subgenre mundanity without any effort put into sex appeal expectations.

Sharon Hinnendael stars as Charlotte Hawthorn, a chaste Catholic schoolgirl who earns a university fencing scholarship. She suffers from Thalassemia, for which she’s prescribed multiple medications. She’s mousy, swallows her anxiety, and is plagued by traumatic visions of a bloody scene from centuries prior. Despite all that, Charlotte is determined to be your average college co-ed—but that’s not in the cards. Enter her free-spirited roommate Nicole (Tiio Horn), dashing yet aggressive fencing coach Professor Cole (Victor Webster), a mystic named Daciana (Keegan Connor Tracy), and her coffee-shop manager crush, Chris (Ryan Kennedy).

In spirit, you can see the ties that bind Goursaud’s and Bessai’s productions. A beautiful virgin protagonist who’s drawn to a dark force, the boyfriend who stands in the way of a master and their love slave, and the collegiate background. What’s different is the cold open, both taking place long, long ago, but in the remake—penned by Andrew C. Erin, Alan Mruvka, Sheldon Roper—there’s no folkloric fantasy orgy, or blissful woodland aura. Boringly, Embrace of the Vampire (2013) starts with an undisclosed ritual, setting up a mystery that’s a total bust.

Does It Work?

Last month, I wrote about how the Prom Night remake sabotages itself by revealing the killer too early. Funnily enough, Bessai’s Embrace of the Vampire disappoints by doing the opposite. In the original—written by Halle Eaton, Nicole Coady, and Rick Bitzelberger—we’re not toyed with by red herrings or misdirections. Spandau Ballet bassist Martin Kemp plays a new-wave vampire who woefully haunts Alyssa Milano’s Charlotte due to starvation levels of desire. Goursaud can focus on sensually illustrated indulgences of the flesh, and the push-pull chemistry between Charlotte and Kemp’s supernatural entity. It’s cheesy like a bargain-bin airport bookstore purchase your single Aunt might devour with a bottle of wine, but that’s also the film’s weirdo charm.

Bessai chooses a traditional hunt-and-stalk scenario for his Charlotte, who may or may not be part of a bloodline of vampire hunters conceived during the opening scene. The filmmaker wants you to guess the vamp’s identity for a while, no matter how obvious. Titillation takes a back seat, despite being the thrust of Goursaud’s themes. It’s a damning commentary on what passes for an erotic thriller in the 90s versus nearly two decades later, where sex is secondary to a convoluted and choppy interpretation of vampiric stalking. The screenplay isn’t calibrated to handle subplots about sexual abuse, cursed fates, and crimes of the heart in the way Bessai wants to, as Charlotte stumbles through a mess of conflicts that barely align.

Worse still, when there is a sex scene, there’s a blandness to the softcore nature of what you could find on pornographic websites. There’s nothing stylized, and theatrics are dull; 3 AM Cinemax programming looks Oscar-worthy by comparison. Goursaud’s direction is full of longing, as characters push each other to the intimate brink of eruption while also acknowledging the adrenaline rush of forbidden danger. Bessai’s direction of Charlotte’s lesbian encounters and her voyeuristic peeping on humping couples checks the box of showing intercourse on screen, but there’s nothing that’ll make you blush. The way poor C.C. Sheffield has her breasts fondled on a close-up is so awkward, like a cat “kneeding dough” in those viral TikTok videos.

An erotic chiller … sans eroticism.

The Result

It’s like Bessai found a location and decided, “Well, what’s a horror film I can remake that uses a college-town setting?” Lest he waste the scenic mountainside views of British Columbia’s Quest University! But why remix Embrace of the Vampire if you’re not going to lean into the hormonal outrage of the film’s hot-and-heavy signatures? Goursaud’s picture is messy, but it’s also carnal, writhes with temptation, and loudly yearns. Bessai’s equal is nowhere as provocative or confident, hiding behind a trudgy, basic-as-hell retelling of overused bloodsucker tropes. It’s the difference between sex for pleasure and sex for purpose—you want your audience blushing, not yawning.

However, let’s not pretend other issues aren’t present. There’s a sterile, fluorescent-bulb shine to scenes like hospital lighting that’s overly bright—no manipulation of shadows or mood driven by atmosphere. Nor do performances inspire anything more than direct-to-video stereotypes; the type of performances that people think of when they hear a title isn’t opening theatrically. Do we know how much the Zephyr Cafe paid to be so heavily marketed, with their signage displayed like a landmark, for some reason? There’s more emphasis put on local businesses than on the cleanliness of storylines. Techniques lack polish, scripting writes itself in circles, and it’s hard to say anyone shines under such underwhelming circumstances.

In a very 2010s way, Embrace of the Vampire unnecessarily adds more gore to the recipe. That’s the tradeoff. Charlotte’s body is changing in her mind, as her skin burns when touched by a specific necklace, or she imagines her teeth falling out. Bessai loves a blood cannon money shot (or vomit shot), so that’s the vampire flick you’re getting. Bloodlust must be craved, so why not stab a random groundskeeper to death for absolutely no plot-related reason? One might say Bessai approaches his remake with crueler intentions … which have nothing to do with the original he chose to honor.

The Lesson

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING is safe from the remake machine. Embrace of the Vampire falls into the April Fool’s Day or Wizard of Gore camp of low-budget remakes that hope to steal a few bucks off diehard horror audiences. It’s a pale imitation of its superior source title, barely recognizable in multiple instances. Your nostalgia goggles need to be set on “High” to see the connections. Not like there’s a ravenous fanbase for Goursaud’s original, but still, there’s a clear choice if there’s ever a question about which version to pick over the other.

So what did we learn?

• If you’re not willing to touch the ludicrous sexual highs of 90s erotic thrillers, you shouldn’t be allowed to remake them.
• This one’s a repeat, but why remake a movie when you have no intention of highlighting its signature elements?
• Sex sells, but it’s more than just getting butts in seats or putting butts on screens. There’s an art to cinematic eroticism, and it’s more than nudity for nudity’s sake.
• It’s not that hard to fit a pair of vampire teeth into an actor’s mouth, so if it’s looking like your bloodsucker is trying to hold her teeth in at all times, there’s a problem.

I love writing this lil’ horror remake series for Bloody Disgusting. Honestly, every month, I get excited when I remember I’ve got another analysis to pump out. But because of my chosen assignment, the required viewing is sometimes a chore. I’ve been keeping a running ranking of every remake I’ve covered so far over on my Letterboxd, if you’re curious about where everything ranks. Rest assured, Embrace of the Vampire will be toward the very bottom, if not vying for the worst-of-the-worst crown.