We were gonna post this earlier but we figured that in the spirit of April Fools and all the fun jokes that have been permeating the internet, how about some more laughs? After the jump, you can read two more questions and answers from the biggest, sexiest bassist in the music industry. Don’t forget to leave a comment with your question for the next edition of Ask Beefcake: Advice For Forlorn Lovers!
1) Since 5 months ago, my girlfriend really LOVES to watch TV while having sex. After a pretty big discussion, she confessed to having sex with you regularly…after all, I noticed that her left nipple is missing. Is it possible that you took it with you?…Accidentally?
Yes, apparently your girlfriend (I use the term loosely, much like she uses her swampy vadge) is bored shitless by your half assed attempts to satisfy her sexually. She would rather watch re-runs of Chico And The Man than pretend she is enjoying your retarded stabs at her wretched abortion hole. Face it, you’re a dud. That’s why, occasionally I allow her to flop her slop trough down on my lap for a bit of a hosing out. Don’t be too upset, though. I don’t enjoy a second of it. Just trying to help out the rest of the planet by keeping you two pusbags off the market. Oh, and the nipple? It must have fallen off while I was kicking her down the stairs. She’s a leper, you know. And a whore. You’re welcome!